Lucky Star: Dare!
by Zokusho
Summary: This is the sequel, a second season of sorts, of Lucky Star: Truth or Dare!, starting immediately from where that story ended. There's graduation, traveling during vacation, moving into college life. Weird and kinky humor, possibly more pairings, etc.
1. Tsundere Café

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 1: Tsundere Café**

誠に恐縮ですが, this is the sequel, a "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic. If you don't wish to read that story – it's a mammoth of 100,000 words or so – you can read a short summary at the end of this chapter. But I don't think it's too hard to figure out what's going on.

This chapter starts right from where Truth or Dare! ended. It's spring, year 2008 (I think), after entrance exams but before the end of school, and it's a Saturday evening. Kagami and Konata have just, hmm, hit a homerun, so to speak. (#~ω~·#) This first chapter is about two days Kagami and Konata spend together. Sort of.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Miyuki had left and Tsukasa had returned to her own room. Of course Konata was going to sleep over, in Kagami's room. They didn't even talk about it. Kagami toyed with the idea of taking a bath together with Konata, but she didn't want to raise any more suspicions in her family. Konata's skimpy nurse costume had been bad enough a sight for them. _"Uh … how am I going to explain this to my family? I hope Tsukasa doesn't blurt it out at some point …"_

"Kagami, I have a work shift tomorrow. I was thinking, could you come with me? I talked to the boss over the phone earlier and … what, are you crying?"

Kagami wiped her tears. "All the emotions today, it's just a bit … overwhelming. You chose a good time to ask. At the moment I might not be able to refuse anything from you. So, even if I have to sit there for six hours …"

"I promise you won't be bored this time. They will actually pay you for tomorrow."

"What? Like hell I will cosplay at that café of yours!" Kagami yelled.

"You will be paid for consultation. The thing is … you have … umm … special assets … talents! Which you can show us."

"S-Special talents? I don't like the sound of this. What do you mean?"

"You are an archetypical _tsundere_. We are changing to a _tsundere_ café for next month. So, it will be very educational if you show us how it is done – "

"Don't call me _tsundere_! I don't like to be categorized like I was some anime character!"

"But Kagamin … can't you see? You just switched from _deredere_ to _tsuntsun_, just like that! You are the best _tsundere_ I have ever met. Even my workmates said they don't know anyone who is as _tsundere_ as you –"

"Stop calling me _tsundere_! I refuse! I won't do it!"

"But Kagamin, please … don't you know why I am still working there? It's because I want to earn some money for our vacation. I want to take you to some romantic place, to pamper you … to buy you a very nice dinner … to rent a honeymoon suite for us … because I love you, Kagamin," Konata cooed, and wrapped her arms around Kagami's neck.

By now, Kagami was blushing brightly and had stopped arguing. "I … uhh … o-okay …"

Konata giggled.

"And what's so funny now!" Kagami groaned. "Wait, what? Honeymoon suite? We can't rent a honeymoon suite!"

"Why not?"

"People will get the wrong idea! … I mean, not the wrong idea … two girls renting a honeymoon suite is just weird! What will they be thinking?"

"They will think that we are lovers, doing all sorts of ero-ero stuff all night. Oi! Whadda ya know, that's exactly what we are going to –"

"I know that! That was just a rhetorical question! I couldn't go to a hotel knowing the hotel staff is thinking about that! … Wait a minute? Vacation? What vacation? Do you mean that road trip you joked about?"

"Nah, driving all day would be far too tiresome. I was thinking of flying to Okinawa or Hokkaido or something."

"What? Neither place is really known for otaku attractions."

"Oh, that's right! What was I thinking?" Konata gasped, and slapped her forehead.

"Don't get me wrong! I'd like to have a vacation away from otaku stuff, for a change."

"Okay. We have plenty of time to plan the vacation anyway. There's a more urgent matter at hand. What will you be wearing tomorrow?"

"I said I don't want to cosplay!"

"You already promised, Kagamin. It's a cosplay café, so it's mandatory to dress up. So, first, let's get all your clothes off and take measures!"

"What? No! I don't want you to see me like that … and to know my measures …"

"Kagami, you forgot what we did today. Now there's definitely nothing I haven't seen before!"

"What if someone barges in while we are … ugh, am I seriously considering doing this? I must be crazy."

"Yeah, you are crazy for me …" Konata said, pushing her face really close to Kagami's.

Kagami sighed deeply, pried Konata off of her, and went to lock the door.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Okay, your total leg length is …" Konata said, and scribbled down the measure. "What's your shoe size?"

"Twenty-five," Kagami muttered. "Yeah, I know!" she snapped, before Konata said anything. "My feet are big!"

"But I like them! Let's measure your toes! Kagamin's little – I mean, big toes are so cute!"

Konata grabbed Kagami's foot, took a hold of her big toe, and tried to use the measuring tape.

Kagami screamed in laughter. "Stop! Stop! It tickles! It tickles so much!"

She yanked her foot away from Konata, rubbed her toe, and said, "Konata, isn't this quite enough already? Do you really need all that information?"

Konata grinned and answered, "No, not really. You have to wear the M*ku costume anyway, we don't have anything else available that would fit you."

"You little devil! … why did you need all my body measures then?"

"All of Kagami-chan's data is a precious treasure to me!" Konata chirped, and pressed the book against her cheek.

"Give me that book! I will burn it!" Kagami screamed.

"You can't, it's your math exercise book!" Konata said, and dodged behind the chair. Kagami tried to cover her strategic parts, which made it hard to catch the little devil.

"Kagami, why is the door locked? I want to borrow that new light novel," Matsuri's voice said from behind the door.

Kagami forgot about Konata, quickly put on her bathrobe, and unlocked the door.

"I was … just going to take a bath!" she explained.

Matsuri looked at her, and at Konata. "Kagami, that's rude. Our guest should be the first. But why don't you two take the bath together? It would save some time."

"Yes!" Konata shouted, while Kagami yelled, "No!"

"Why not?" Matsuri asked.

"Because – she pulls pranks on me all the time! I can't bathe with someone like that!"

"It's okay, Kagamin. I promise I'll be good," Konata said, using her best puppy look.

"I don't believe you, you little macaque!"

Matsuri scratched her head, and said, "Oh! I saw a TV program about those. They said macaques make a hot spring smell really awful."

"Hey! I'm not smelly! Kagami, you should know, since we just had a sixt–"

"Shut up!" Kagami screamed, sounding slightly hysterical.

Matsuri was preoccupied with finding the light novel, and noted absent-mindedly, "Hmm … yet you undress in the same room, behind a locked door. What are you doing, having some girl-on-girl action?"

Kagami turned bright red instantly.

"Ah. Here it is," Matsuri added, having found the book she was looking for. "Okay, Izumi. _I'll_ take the bath with you, since Kagami doesn't want to. I think it will be fun. You are kinda cute, and –"

"No! I will never allow that!" Kagami yelled.

Matsuri looked at her. "What?"

"I mean … if it is such a big deal … I will take the bath with Konata!" Kagami said.

"Hmph," Matsuri said, and left the room.

"Kagamin, aren't you excited? Our first bath together!" Konata said, after Matsuri was gone.

"It's not! And you almost blurted it out!"

"What? … oh. So what? I would like to tell the whole world! Kagami and I are lovers! I love Kagamin! We sleep together! We have sex! We are having even more hot girl-on-girl action tonight!" Konata shouted.

"Shut up or I'll strangle you! Never shout out things like that! I don't want anyone to know!"

Konata pretended to cry. "Waah! My Kagamin is ashamed of me!"

Kagami knew Konata was just acting, but she got a point. Softly, she said, "No … no, it's not that. It's just … I don't know how they will react. We have to think about how to tell them. And we must not let the entire school know. Things would be awkward."

Konata's expression changed. Kagami knew that look. "Hey! Don't get any weird ideas!" she snapped. "I bet you were just thinking about kissing me at the graduation or something."

"You know me well …" Konata said, and started to take off her clothes. Kagami found herself staring at Konata, unable to look away.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"I was wondering … what do the macaques do in the bath?" Konata asked. They were in the bathtub together. Despite Kagami's fears, so far Konata had not pulled any pranks.

"How should I know – " Kagami was cut short, and she yelped as she felt Konata's hand squeezing an inappropriate place.

"I bet they do this!" Konata said, and used her other hand as well. "And this!"

"Get your hands off of me!"

"Come on, Kagamin, I know you are enjoying it –"

"Oh yeah? Let me give you a taste of your own medicine!" Kagami said, and grabbed Konata's assets. "Hmph. There isn't much to grasp here …" she said.

"Hey! It's unfair to attack a weak spot! Besides, I know you like my body."

"Do you think I'm some perverted lolicon?"

"I'm not sure. Are you? You did like that Rikku cosplayer on the train, when we were coming from Comiket."

"I don't think she looked like a child … wait a minute, I didn't like her in _that_ way! She was just prettier than that other one. And you forced me to choose!"

"Yeah, I know. But still, it's evidence! Detective Konan shall investigate this further!"

"Bah."

"So, do you want me to get a Brazilian waxing?"

Kagami just stared at Konata, but the color of her cheeks revealed that she knew what Konata was talking about.

"I knew it!"

"No, you didn't! And I don't want that!"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

They had returned to Kagami's room, after telling the others the bath was free.

Kagami had sat down to dry and brush her hair. Deep in thoughts, she vaguely registered Konata changing into her pajamas and heard the noise of her game console.

"Konata –" she said, and turned around. Konata was in bed already, under the covers, and playing with her console.

"Wait a minute! What are you doing there?"

"Playing. While waiting for you to join me, of course. Why?"

"We can't sleep together! What if someone like Matsuri barges in?"

"I'll say I was having a nightmare and needed to sleep beside you."

"But there's no guest futon on the floor! They won't believe it!"

"Who cares?"

Kagami stood up, grabbed Konata's arm, and started to pull her off the bed. Konata dropped her console and tried to grab whatever was available to stop her from being ejected. All she got hold of were the pillow and the covers. They slid onto the floor with her.

Konata's hand came out from under the covers and grabbed Kagami's ankle. She lost balance and fell onto Konata. Fortunately the pillow and the covers cushioned the fall.

Konata yanked the pillow into her hands and hit Kagami on the head with it.

Kagami grabbed Konata's arm and tried to take the pillow with her free hand. Konata rolled over and pulled Kagami with her, until they were on top of each other, entangled with each others' limbs and the covers.

At this point, Matsuri barged in. "Kagami, where's the previous novel of this series –" she said, and then stopped and stared at them.

"We were just practicing some judo!" Konata said, while Kagami said, "I just slipped and fell on top of her!"

Matsuri laughed, and said "Hold that pose, I'll get my camera!"

"No!" Kagami screamed, but Konata wrapped her head into the covers and stopped her from escaping.

"Quickly, Matsuri! And I want copies of them!" Konata yelled.

Kagami struggled violently and yelled something, but the covers muffled her voice.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Last night was a nightmare. I didn't get enough sleep," Kagami groaned. "And why are you still clinging onto me, you little burr!"

They were in the bathroom. Kagami was just about to brush her teeth. Konata had followed her in and refused to leave.

"Lovers always go to the bathroom and toilet together!" Konata announced.

"No, they don't! That's gross! And don't call us lovers! Someone might hear!"

"Kagamin, if you shout so loud, they will hear."

Kagami couldn't answer because she had the toothbrush in her mouth, so she just mumbled something.

"Kagami, remember that today you need to use blue-green ribbons!" Konata said, playing with Kagami's hair.

Kagami snarled at her.

"And you should choose your panties carefully! The skirt of that costume is rather short, you know," Konata added, pulled Kagami's pajama pants by the elastic, and peeked in.

Kagami spluttered, and slapped Konata's wrist with her free hand.

"Waah, domestic violence!" Konata cried.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Explain to me, how you got me to dress in this again? I can't believe it!" Kagami said.

"Well, I let you have your way with my body last night –"

"Stop! Don't explain it to me!"

Kagami was already flustered, and not even the other workers had yet seen her. They were at Konata's workplace, in the dressing room. Kagami was dressed as Hat*une Mi*u, and the costume felt as revealing as before. Even worse, because this time total strangers would see her wearing it.

Patricia came in, without knocking first.

"Good morning! Kona-chan, Hiiragi-senpai! Oh … I see you have already changed your clothes," Patricia noted, looking disappointed.

Kagami glared at her suspiciously.

"Naughty, Patty-chan! I don't like you trying to peep at mai waifu!" Konata exclaimed.

"But your waifu is hot!" Patricia said.

Kagami blushed and glared at her again. She turned her gaze, as Patricia was quickly removing her clothes for changing into her costume.

"How are things with Hiyorin?" Konata asked.

"Great! She's coming here later today. Hope she doesn't bleed to death off her nose," Patricia said, eyeing Kagami. "Oh, by the way, we will travel to the States together at vacation."

"How come so many of our friends are queer?" Kagami pondered.

Konata and Patricia both giggled. "You are one too!"

"… so what? I'm not as bad as you two, and Hiyori!"

"Yeah, we are the worst. Anyway, we are about to open soon, so let's go," Patricia said, tying her apron.

Konata and Patricia explained the routines to Kagami and showed her where to find everything.

"All right. Heard the bell? It means a customer is coming. Go to the door, Kagami, and say _'Welcome home, wealthy merchant-master,'_ when he enters," Konata explained, hurrying Kagami forth.

"He? How do you know it's a boy?" Kagami asked. "Is there a different sound for female customers?"

Konata giggled. "No, but almost all of our customers are male."

Kagami sighed and waited at the door. She glared at Konata when she produced a digital video camera from somewhere and started recording. "Konata, you'd better never show this video to anyone but the people working here. I mean it!"

"Hush. Prepare for the customer. Put a big smile on your face!" Konata commanded.

"I don't think – " Kagami started, but the door began to open and she turned to face it.

"Welcome ho – yech!" Kagami yelped, as she saw the customer. It was a boy – a fat and ugly one, who was breathing heavily. Kagami quickly took a few steps backwards, almost knocking Konata down.

Kagami completely forgot about what she was supposed to say. She just made a vague gesture and walked away.

"Kagami, you should show the customer in and lead him into a vacant table," Konata whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. Come in, sit down … at that table," Kagami said, keeping her distance. She was sure the boy was smelly, but she didn't want to confirm that. _"Why is he breathing like that? It's disgusting!"_ she thought, forgetting that the café was at the third floor.

Konata had a hard time to stop herself from laughing. The finished video would show the camera twitching at times.

"What?" she asked, as the boy stared at her. She wanted to say, _'Don't look at me!'_ but she felt that would have been too rude.

"Kagami, tell him the rules and bring a menu," Konata adviced.

"Oh. Right. The first hour is 800 yen, you can have any drinks you like and any snacks you like, read manga, and play whatever games you want – " while talking, Kagami took a menu from the counter and tossed it at the table, still trying to keep her distance.

The boy looked at her with his mouth open, glanced at the menu, and asked, "What's this House Mix Juice Juice like?"

The boy had an annoying, high-pitched voice. "How should I know!" Kagami snapped.

Konata made a strange sound, as if blowing raspberries. Kagami glared at her, and said, "What's so damn funny!"

"N-nothing! Kagami, you are just so great! Perfect!" Konata said, trying desperately to hold back laughter.

After bringing the customer his coke, Kagami received a few more guests. All of them were boys, and she didn't exactly like any of them. "I hate geeks …" she sighed.

"Oh! Kagami, that's a good one. You got to say it a bit louder so that they will hear!" Konata commented.

"Shut up! You are not paying me enough!"

The bell indicated that another customer was coming. Kagami marched to the door, stomping with her feet. "If it's another smelly nerd, I'm going to say we are full!"

Konata giggled. "You are awesome!"

Behind the door was a surprisingly handsome young lad, dressed in a snappy school uniform.

"Kagami, let me handle him," Konata whispered, and tugged at Kagami's sleeve.

"Get away!" Konata whispered. "For once it's not some freak!"

Kagami shook Konata off and said, "Welcome, rich shopkeeper sir!"

"Welcome home, wealthy merchant-master!" Konata whispered.

"Stop distracting me!" Kagami hissed back. "Come on in, there's plenty of room," she said to the customer.

"Oh, thank you, miss!" the boy responded, staring at Kagami wide-eyed. "Are you new here, miss?"

"Sort of – will you get that camera off my face!" Kagami snapped at Konata.

Konata looked apprehensive. "Kagami, let me take over," she whispered.

"What? Do you like him so much?" Kagami whispered back, as they were walking ahead of the new customer.

"No, but –"

"Can I sit here, miss?" the handsome lad asked.

"Certainly. First hour is 800 yen –"

"I know the rules, thank you. I'd like a glass of 'Mother's Milk', please," the customer said, and smiled at Kagami.

"Kagami, let me bring that –" Konata interrupted.

"Will you shut up and stop bothering me! I didn't see you offering any help with all these disgusting, sweaty, smelly nerds!" Kagami shouted. The disgusting, sweaty, smelly nerds – which included most of the customers – looked hurt.

"But, Kagami –"

"No buts! Let me do my job! Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes, Kagami, but –"

"Shut up! Shut up!" Kagami yelled, while she hurried into the kitchen. "What the heck is 'Mother's Milk'?"

"I don't know," Konata said, "We just bring him ordinary milk and he never complaints. But Kagami, could you let me –"

"You are making me really mad!" Kagami hissed, and snatched the glass from Konata.

Kagami took a milk bottle from the fridge, and poured it into the glass. Konata opened her mouth, but Kagami glared at her so nastily, that she didn't dare to say anything else.

"Here's your milk, sir. Sorry about the disturbance. That little brat –" Kagami said, as she placed the milk onto the table.

"Oops. I dropped a coin. I think it's under that chair. Could you get it for me, miss?" the handsome customer said.

"Oh. Certainly," Kagami said, and reached under the chair. "I don't see –"

She yelped as she felt the guy's fingers pinching the back of her thigh.

Unfortunately, Kagami was still carrying the tray. Konata guessed what would happen, quickly took a couple of steps backwards, and kept recording the incident on video.

Kagami raised herself up, turned around, and smashed the tray onto the guy's forehead with all her strength. The plastic tray went into pieces.

The customer fell backwards in his chair and crashed onto the floor.

"Kagami, that was great, but a bit too extreme. Even for a _tsundere_ theme –" Konata noted.

"That creep pinched my … I will kill him!" Kagami screamed, and was about to kick the dazed man. Konata grabbed her arm and dragged her away.

"Kagami," Konata whispered. "I would like to kick him too … but we can't. Let's just hope he learned his lesson this time."

"This time? You mean he has done that before?"

"Yeah, we call him the Squid. He tends to grope or pinch the waitresses. But this time –"

"Hey, you! Get up and get out. You are banned from this place, permanently," the fat boy – the one who had been the first to arrive – said.

"Why is that customer telling the bastard that he's banned?" Kagami asked.

"Oh, that customer is one of the owners," Konata said nonchalantly. "He's some kind of an IT guru and has loads of money."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Kagami yelled.

"You wouldn't have behaved like a _tsundere_ I had told you," Konata explained.

"But I was very rude at him!"

"No, you did just what we expected. It was great! Oh, by the way, did he pinch you hard, Kagamin? Want me to kiss the pain away?"

"Not right now, thank you," Kagami growled.

"Hmm … but now we won't see how a _tsundere_ bids farewell to a customer," Konata noted.

Kagami glared around. She walked up to one of the customers, and growled, "You! Get out! Your smell disturbs me … the other customers!"

The customer, a stocky boy wearing glasses, looked at her with his mouth open. "Out! Out, I said!" Kagami yelled, and pointed at the door.

The boy quickly grabbed his backpack and ran away, almost bumping into Hiyori at the doorway.

"There are other customers I don't like … I can throw them all out!" Kagami said.

The other customers cowered in fear.

Hiyori was standing at the entrance, and looked at Kagami with her mouth open. Fortunately this wasn't the first time she had seen Kagami in that dress, but she had to lean on the wall anyway.

Patricia dashed to Hiyori, snatched her onto her arms, and kissed her passionately, making several of the customers to have a nosebleed.

"Kagamin, we should do that too! It's good for business!" Konata noted, filming the pair.

"But I don't want to kiss Hiyori!" Kagami said.

"Go ahead. I won't mind!" Konata said, going along with the joke. "Kagami, that was a joke, wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

* * *

In the previous story, Konata earned 400,000 yen from her Comiket trades, but since she got a driver's license and took several extra private college exams (they cost a lot), she's again broke.

Kagami was supposed to say "_Okaerinasai mase, __goushoujin-sama"_, a very polite welcome one would hear at a cosplay or maid kissa.

A very short summary of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! follows.

After lots of playing truth or dare, wild parties, cosplaying, karaoke, and other adventures, Yutaka and Minami, Patricia and Hiyori, and Konata and Kagami are now a pair. Their families do not know about it. Tsukasa and Miyuki have had some fun together, but that's about it. Not _everyone_ is gay (yet (#n_n#)).

Konata acquired a driver's license and Yui's old car (Subaru Vivio; it's a real Subaru model and Yui's car in the anime – I had no idea about _Mahō Shōjo Ririkaru Nanoha__!_). Konata learned to drive, eventually.

Sōjirō Izumi and Yukari Takara have had an affair. Now, Yukari is divorcing her husband and will marry Sōjirō eventually. So, Miyuki is now Konata's big sister (in chest size, if not by age ((*¬*)).

All the third year students have taken their entrance exams and are currently waiting for the results. Patricia decided to stay in Japan indefinitely (usually exchange students stay for one year only), but she and Hiyori are going to take a long trip to the United States during their summer break.

Kuroi-sensei is still unmarried. She finally found out that Yui _is_ married, and was devastated.

So, something has actually happened – which doesn't happen in canon Lucky Star (n_n).


	2. Sake, Women, and Song

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 2: Sake, women, and song**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic. The seniors graduate from high school! Later, everyone gathers at Izumi household…

Whoops, a few mistakes in the last chapter, but I'm not going to fix 'em. I gave up perfectionism last year :)

Please, do review if you like this. Not that I need reviews as such – I am compelled to write even if nobody ever reviews! – but the popularity of fanfic seems to be directly related to the number of reviews it has. If you don't have anything to say about the story, it doesn't matter. Just say 'hi' or whatever (n_n).

P.M.N: thanks for telling me about borrow vs. lent. I fixed it. Those difficult English words are hard to understand (°∀°)!

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Slowly, Kagami become aware of an object sideways across her chest. Whatever it was, it was warm, heavy, and its blunt end was pressed against her chin, pushing her head backwards. She forced her eyes open and saw five cute little toes at her face.

She pushed Konata's foot away and saw that this time Konata had turned completely around and onto her back, and ending up with her heel on Kagami's chin. Konata's upper body was hanging over the bed's edge, almost falling off the bed. Her hands were dangling in the air and she was drooling at the corner of her mouth – still fast asleep.

While Konata tended to end up like this in her sleep, this was definitely one of the strangest positions for now. And they had already spent dozens of nights sleeping on the same bed, in Konata's room at Izumi household. It had taken Kagami many nights to get used to Konata thrashed about in her sleep. And she talked and made weird noises, too.

"Damn it. Are you like this because you have spent half your life playing video games?" Kagami muttered. "Maybe we should sleep in separate beds …" she added, but the thought made her feel lonely. _"No, now that I finally have someone I really want to sleep with, I will endure it …"_

Suddenly, she realized what day it was. Frantically, she looked around for a clock, but Konata didn't seem to have one. "Crap! What time is it? Konata, wake up!"

Konata flinched, tipped over, fell onto her back, and made a full somersault on the floor. When she stood up, her face and front were entirely covered by her abundant hair, which had overturned during her backwards roll. Still half-asleep, she turned around and staggered towards the door, mumbling about turning the lights on – thinking it was still dark.

At that moment, Yutaka opened the door. Her words, "Good morning, _onee-chan_, it's time to get up," stuck in her throat when she saw a monster made of hair, apparently clutching at her with its hands. Kagami was incapacitated with laughter and couldn't warn her or say anything. Yutaka turned pale, fainted and collapsed onto the threshold.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Sorry, Yutaka. Konata didn't … I mean we didn't do it on purpose," Kagami said. They had lifted Yutaka onto Konata's bed, were holding her legs up and Konata was placing a wet towel onto her forehead.

"T-there was this anime I saw when I was little. It had this terrible, blue monster which froze everything it trod on to death," Yutaka said. "It scared me really badly. I guess I had a flashback of it …"

"Hmm … which anime is that?" Konata said. "I must know!"

"Why?" Kagami sighed.

"Because it's anime!" Konata explained, which didn't explain anything.

"I think it was Moo-, Moo-something," Yutaka said.

"Bah. Doesn't ring a bell. Ah well, we'll find out later. Right now, I have the feeling that we have forgotten something important."

Kagami flinched, and yelled, "Graduation! Graduation is today! What time is it? Where are my clothes?"

"Kagami, your memory is sure great! Can you also remember Yutaka's Moo-Moo anime?" Konata asked. Slowly, her expression changed. "What? Graduation? Today? Today is the end of high school?"

She jumped up and screamed, "Hip Hip Hooray!" at the top of her lungs, making Yutaka cover her ears.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Kagami and Konata stood on the school yard, waiting for their friends. Tsukasa and Miyuki had just arrived, and they could see Misao at the school gate, accompanied by Ayano, as always.

"'sup, everyone! – Wait, what's wrong, Tsukasa?" Kagami asked.

Tsukasa looked somewhat subdued and there were tears in her eyes. "Sis … you are always at Kona-chan's house these days … even today … I'm just feeling a bit lonely."

"Sorry, Tsukasa. I will come home today," Kagami said, looking a bit regretful.

"But Kagamin, aren't _you_ going to feel lonely?" Konata asked, and tried to poke her into ribs, but Kagami slapped her hand away.

"Konata. My house is full of people. And we fight so much that nobody has a chance to feel lonely …"

Konata moved swiftly behind Miyuki and grabbed her from behind – almost touching certain voluptuous parts of Miyuki's body – and shoved her at Tsukasa, yelling, "Hey, Tsukasa! I just got a great idea! Why don't you take _my_ big sister as a substitution! And if you start to miss Kagami too much, you can always ask Mikuru- – I mean Miyuki-chan to imitate her!"

"Oi, oi! Please, not the imitation again!" Kagami groaned.

"Oh, Yuki-chan … could you be my big sister?" Tsukasa piped, her eyes shining. "I'd love that!"

"S-sure, Tsukasa … little sister?" Miyuki said, while trying to gently push Konata's hands away.

"Sis!" Tsukasa yelled, and hugged Miyuki, squashing her in between herself and Konata.

Kagami flinched. She felt a bit lonely, too inhibited to join the group hug. "Konata, aren't we practically becoming one big family anyway?" she said, not quite considering her words when distracted by the sight.

"What, Hiiragi? How's that possible?" Misao asked. Looking thoughtful, she continued, answering the question herself, "Izumi's dad is already marrying Mrs. Takara. So how can all your families become united? The only possibility is … umm … that Mr. Takara marries one of your family! Are you marrying him? Or one of your sisters?"

"_Why are you so sharp about the oddest things?"_ Kagami thought, and exclaimed, "No! It's nothing like that! I just meant … our families … umm …"

Of course, Kagami was unable to explain what she had meant.

Konata burst into laughter, and was about to say something, but Kagami's nasty glare made her reconsider it.

"Then, who is if? Tell me! Who's marrying Mr. Takara?" Misao screamed.

Lots of people in the school yard turned to look at them, and brightly blushing Kagami.

"Hey, kids! What are you doing here, shouting like that?" Kuroi-sensei, who had just arrived, said. "Go in and start preparing for the graduation ceremony!"

"Sensei, sensei! One of the Hiiragi sisters is getting married! To Takara's dad!" Misao shouted, bursting with excitement.

Kuroi's stared at Misao for a moment, then turned around and walked away, without saying a word.

"What? What did I say?" Misao asked.

"Misa-chan, you should know. You were there when she heard about Narumi-san's marital status … remember how she reacted …" Ayano noted.

"Oh, right. It's her weak spot," Misao said.

Suddenly, Ayano took a deep breath. She had seen someone standing near the school gates. "Everyone, please, go ahead! You too, Misa-chan. There's something I need to do. I'll follow you as soon as I can."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Ayano hurried into the hall among the last people coming in. Misao had kept her a seat and she sat down beside her friend. Ayano seemed to be in a downbeat mood, and her eyes were bloodshot.

"Yo, Ayano! Don't start crying yet! Let's wait for the song. Then everyone will cry together!" Misao said, meaning the traditional graduation song "_Aogeba toutoshi_".

"Mi-Misa-chan … I just dumped him!" Ayano cried, but most of the others didn't hear this because of a sudden, ear-piercing feedback from the speakers. Konata's eyes widened for a moment, but for now, she pushed what she had heard out of her mind.

After the volume had been adjusted, a student standing behind a microphone announced, "Welcome to the graduating ceremony! I am Minoru Shiraishi from class 3-B, representing the graduating students. And now, a speech from our principal."

The principal walked up to the stage and into the podium. "To those who are graduating, congratulations. To our guests and guardians, thank you very much for coming here today."

Because at the moment everyone was quiet, Konata's piercing voice echoed through the hall. "Hey! All principals use the same speech!"

Most of the audience turned to look at her direction. "I mean, it's almost the same in every anime," she explained.

"Shut up!" Kagami hissed.

The principal was distracted for a second or two, but continued, "Now, for those who are graduating …" he looked at Minoru.

Minoru said, "Presentation of diploma!"

"Hey! The announcers use the same lines too!" Konata said, this time not so loudly.

"I wonder why Miyuki wasn't chosen to represent everyone," Kagami whispered.

Miyuki gasped, "Oh no, I couldn't speak in front of the entire school! I'm happy they didn't ask me."

Minoru continued, "To the student who achieved the highest grades this academic year."

Konata stood up, and so did Misao.

"Sit down! It's not for either of you!" Kagami groaned.

"Yeah, I know. Somehow I just had to do this," Konata said, and sat down again.

"Hey, it could be me! Why not?" Misao said. "It's just a matter of luck! Like, winning the lottery!"

"They do not draw lots to decide who gets that award! Sit down!" Kagami said.

"This year's Kinran Award goes to … my cell phone!" Minoru announced. The entire hall murmured and muttered.

"Oh no, I had it on silent alarm!" he said, after finding his phone. "Sorry! I'm sorry!"

Quickly, he pocketed his phone again, cleared his throat, and continued. "Where was I? Oh, so this year's Kinran Award goes to Miyuki Takara, from class 3-B!"

Konata was standing again, as was Misao.

"Sit down, both of you!" Kagami hissed.

"What? I didn't win?" Misao said.

"Somehow I just had to do it," Konata explained.

"Stop doing it now! Both of you!" Kagami groaned.

"Takara-san? Takara-san, please come forward!" Minoru added.

"Yuki-chan, I think he means you!" Tsukasa gasped.

"What? Me?" Miyuki said, pointing at herself.

"Miyuki, he did say your name," Kagami sighed.

Miyuki let out a cute little yelp, stood up, and started to walk through the aisle. She had turned as red as a tomato, but had a wide, if a bit stupid, grin on her face. Everything went well until she got to the top of the steps leading to the stage.

She stubbed her toe and fell onto her hands and knees, and her skirt was displaced just enough to expose her panties to the entire audience. A second or two passed, and then there was a flash of light and a 'click' sound. Konata had had her dad's digital camera out just in time.

"White!" someone gasped.

Miyuki recovered from the shock, jumped up, and pushed her skirt down. Trying to look as if nothing had happened – she couldn't blush any brighter anyway – she walked to the principal.

The principal cleared his throat, said, "Very good work, Miyuki Takara-san," and handed her an impressive-looking diploma.

Konata jumped up onto her chair, snapped another photo, pushed the camera to Kagami's hands, and then screamed, "Bravo!" repeatedly and clapped her hands together.

One by one, the students around them, then the guests, and finally the entire hall stood up and gave Miyuki a standing applause.

After some other awards had been given, and principal had finished his speech, it was time for the traditional graduation song.

Tsukasa, Miyuki, and Ayano were crying profusely even before the song started.

Misao was completely oblivious, and just kept singing aloud, or, rather, making a terrible noise that vaguely resembled "_Aogeba toutoshi_". A few other students around her covered their ears.

At first, Konata just sang happily, because high school was finally about to end. In the middle of the song, she took a peek around her, and then secretly took hold of Kagami's hand. Until this, Kagami had kept her cool with some difficulty, but this gesture made her burst into tears. Konata looked at her and started to cry too.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

After the ceremony, everyone had returned to their classrooms. While Kagami's homeroom teacher had already arrived, Kuroi's class was still waiting for her.

Finally, the class door opened and Kuroi-sensei staggered in, carrying a large bundle of diplomas. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She let the diplomas fall onto the lectern, slumped down on the chair behind the teacher's table, and sobbed.

"Ku-Kuroi-sensei …" Tsukasa said. Her jaw started twitching and her eyes tearing again.

"I saw it through the window! Blondie meeting her boyfriend! A high school graduate! With a boyfriend! And I still don't have one! I'll never get married!" Kuroi moaned, and banged her head against the desk.

The class muttered. Someone said, "So that's why she's crying now …"

"Blondie?" Konata said. "Ah, she must mean Ayano!"

Konata got up, walked to Kuroi, patted her on the shoulder, and said, "Don't cry, sensei. I heard Ayano-chan say she just dumped him! That's what she was meeting him for."

"What? Oh, Izumi. So she can even afford to dump boyfriends! So how many do you have, Izumi? Knowing you, you probably have a harem! One for every day of the week! And a dozen more online!"

"No, just Kagami."

Before Kuroi responded, they heard a bump at the door.

A moment later, the door opened again. They saw a huge bouquet of flowers, followed by Miyuki carrying it. The bouquet looked a bit squashed, as if someone had bumped into the door while carrying it.

"Uhh … class! C-could you please stand up!" Miyuki said. "This is from the entire class. We want to thank you for these three years, sensei. We are all very grateful," she added, and handed the bouquet to Kuroi. Miyuki was still bright red, looked very flustered, and didn't sound very convincing, having something else in her mind.

Everyone started to applaud and cheer and Konata took a picture of the situation.

Kuroi sniffed. "Okay … a cold comfort," she said, looking gloomy.

The class became noticeably quieter. Miyuki walked to her seat, sat down, and buried her head into her arms. Tsukasa and Konata took a worried look at her.

Kuroi looked around, wiped her tears, and said, "Yeah, yeah, thank you, class. Let's see how grateful you are when you get your high school diploma!"

"… if you get one!" she added, and laughed.

The students just stared at her.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"What? You dumped him? Just before the ceremony?" Misao gasped. "So that's why you've been crying so much."

All the friends had gathered in the hallway after the ceremony. Konata was bouncing around and taking pictures of everyone, in groups, alone, and in pairs, from the front and the back.

Miyuki had been facing the wall, and muttering, "Pan … ties … white panties … no one will marry me … no one will marry me …", but the news made her forget about her embarrassment and she turned around.

"That's so sad," Tsukasa said, and rubbed her tearful eyes.

"What? You had a boyfriend?" Konata gasped. "My father never let me have one!"

Kagami glared at Konata, and said, "For once your father did something right."

The others turned to stare at Kagami. "Ehh?" Misao gasped. "What did you mean by that? – Never mind," Misao quickly added, brushing that aside, "Because I want to know why Ayano dumped her boyfriend. Why did you do that?"

Ayano burst into tears again. "I … I just didn't like him. I never did."

"That's … even sadder," Tsukasa moaned, and cried against Ayano's shoulder.

"Umm … why are you crying if you didn't even like him?" Kagami asked.

"Kagami, cold and heartless as usual," Konata said. "It's still sad when you have to dump someone! Even if you didn't like him or her! I know! It has happened to me dozens of times!"

"Konata, life is not an online game," Kagami sighed.

"Ayano-chan, do you have some other flags triggered? Is that why you dumped this one?" Konata asked, and winked her eye.

"You just sounded more cold and heartless than I ever did …" Kagami muttered.

"N-no, I don't have anyone," Ayano sobbed.

"I know what will cheer you up! Let's have a graduation parr-teee today!" Misao screamed. "Sake, women, and song!" she announced, and made a grandiose gesture, apparently meant to represent all the three things mentioned.

"Sake, women … ehh? I don't really feel like partying," Kagami said. "We still don't have all the college exam results."

"Let's have a premilitary graduation party today and a big graduation party next week, when the results arrive!" Konata suggested.

"Preliminary," Miyuki corrected.

"Yeah! Today, limited, next time, no limits at all! Anything goes! Truth or dare –" Konata was interrupted by Kagami screaming, "No! I refuse!"

"Besides, Konata, I and sis have to go home right after we get our diplomas. Our relatives are there," Kagami added.

"Sorry, Izumi-san, I can't come either. My family and relatives are waiting for me too," Miyuki said.

"Yeah, now that you mentioned it … my parents are also picking me up right after school. Or something. I think," Misao said, scratching her head.

"Aww. Well, then, let's have the big party at our place next Wednesday? Everyone should have gotten most of their letters by then," Konata suggested.

Everyone seemed to be okay with it, saying "Yeah, why not." – "I'll be there!" – "Sure, Wednesday should be okay."

"Whatever," Ayano said.

"Will you stop taking pictures!" Kagami growled at Konata, when the camera flash blinded her for a second.

"My dad asked me to take as much as possible!" Konata explained. "He even lent me his best digital camera."

"You and I shall go through those pictures and delete a few of them before he gets his slimy hands on them!" Kagami declared, and grabbed Konata by her collar. "Understood?"

"Uhh … yes, Kagami-sama!" Konata gasped. "B-but can I at least keep the copies?"

"We shall see."

Miyuki let out a deep sigh of relief, and looked pleadingly at Kagami, who nodded at her.

"… hey! Kuroi-sensei! Big party at Izumi house next week! Next Wednesday! Sake, women, and song! Sensei, you must come too!" Konata shouted.

Kuroi didn't turn to look at them. She just waved the bouquet, while walking away. "Yeah, maybe … see you around!" she said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Tsukasa-san? Sorry, Tsukasa-san, but my legs are getting a bit numb," Miyuki said, and gently shook Tsukasa's shoulder. Miyuki was sitting at the table in Izumi's living room, and Tsukasa had fallen asleep on her lap. On the other side of the table, Yutaka was sleeping on Minami's lap in the exact same position.

"Just five more minutes, mom," Tsukasa muttered, and turned in her sleep. This put her face into an inappropriate place, and made Miyuki really flustered. "Tsukasa-san! Please, wake up!" Miyuki repeated, and tried to gently turn her head.

"What? Good morning, Yuki-chan! I just … where am I?" Tsukasa gasped, and got up surprisingly quickly.

"Eh … we are at Izumi-san's house, waiting for the others."

"Oh, that's true. I got the envelopes yesterday and I couldn't sleep all night. I'm so nervous. I wish Kona-chan had allowed me to open at least this one," Tsukasa said, holding the thickest envelope. "I bet this is an admission. The thin letters must be rejections. This means I got in only one college …"

"Tsukasa, please stop speculating based on the thickness of the letters!" Kagami said. That made her nervous because all of her letters seemed thin.

Kagami's eyes turned to Yutaka and Minami. "I'm envious."

"Kagami-san, why are you envious? You have Ko- … umm … I mean … you have –" Miyuki stuttered.

"No, I mean I'm envious of them being juniors!" Kagami interrupted, before Miyuki said too much. She wasn't entirely sure that Minami knew about her affair with Konata yet. "They can just relax, without any troubles in the world," she added.

"Yahoo! It's me, Misao!" the fanged girl's cheerful and piercing voice called from the door.

"Speaking of trouble …" Kagami sighed.

"The door was open, so I just let myself in – oops! I dropped my envelopes!" Misao shouted.

"Don't say that word!" Kagami screamed. She and Tsukasa in particular looked quite flustered.

"What? Oh, right! Saying 'drop' is bad luck! Sorry!" Misao shouted. She took her shoes off, and barged into the living room. "Look, I have not one but four envelopes from colleges! Four! Isn't that amazing! Four!" she yelled, waving her envelopes.

"Stop! Don't say that either!" Kagami yelled. Tsukasa yelped and covered her ears.

"Oops! I forgot that number four is unlucky too!" Misao noted unnecessarily.

As always, Ayano was accompanying Misao. She said, "Misa-chan, calm down. We agreed to open all the envelopes together, and everyone isn't here yet. So sit down and relax."

"Who's missing?" Misao asked. The others glared at her.

"Do you do that on purpose? Or are you just dumb?" Kagami hissed. "Anyway, Konata is in the kitch–"

She stopped, as they heard a crash from the kitchen. "I'm okay! A glass just fell onto the floor!" Konata's voice shouted.

"Aargh! There's nothing worse than a dummy, except two dummies!" Kagami shouted.

"Yeah, Konata!" Misao shouted. "You shouldn't say the word 'fall' at a time like this!"

Kagami jumped up and walked towards the kitchen, yelling, "Konata, do you have any duct tape? I need to tape her mouth shut!"

As Kagami got into the kitchen, she saw Konata dressed in an apron, her hair caught back with a scarf, coating the pork cutlets with breadcrumbs. The sight made her instantly forgot about Misao. "K-Konata …" she sighed, and wrapped her arms around her from behind.

"Kagamin, I'm kind of busy right now … but … maybe a little kiss?" Konata whispered, turned around, and glued her lips onto Kagami's. Kagami's eyes opened wide, but she responded passionately.

"Was that your idea of a little kiss?" Kagami huffed, when Konata finally stopped. "Wonder what a big kiss is like, then …"

"Slimy and intrusive?"

"Eww!" Kagami said, although the idea was not completely disagreeable.

They heard footsteps, and brightly blushing Kagami stepped back very quickly. Fortunately it was just Yutaka, yawning and muttering about getting some juice for people.

"Oh, hi, Yutaka. I'm glad _you_ know about us …" Kagami said.

"Kagami, she doesn't, actually," Konata noted, while she was collecting the glasses and taking the orange juice from the fridge.

"Whaat!" Kagami gasped.

"I wanted to see whether she figures it out herself," Konata said, and giggled.

"Hello, Hiiragi-senpai. What don't I know about you two?" Yutaka asked innocently.

"Nothing! It's nothing!" Kagami said with enthusiasm.

"We are a pair, just like you and Minami," Konata corrected.

Kagami gasped and spluttered, but after catching her breath, said, "Yeah. That."

"Oh! That's … wonderful, I guess," Yutaka said. "… so that was it! … I did wonder why you two were kissing, cuddling, and sleeping in the same bed all the time," she added, blushing a bit.

Kagami looked at Konata's little cousin with disbelief, sighed, and asked, "Konata, are you going to tell everyone?"

"I try not to, but I can't be sure," Konata said, looking thoughtful.

"Just don't tell my parents or big sisters yet … hey, wait a minute, does your perv – I mean, your father know?"

"I haven't told him but I'm sure he knows. He has an eye for these kinds of things."

"Eww!"

"Kagami, could you carry this tray to the living room? I'll bring the juice," Konata said. "Don't drop anything! One of the glasses just fell, but fortunately it failed to break!" she added.

"You said all that purposely!" Kagami yelled, and snatched the tray from Konata's hands, so that the glasses tinkled together.

"I thought that if I do all the unlucky stuff all day, it overloads and turns into good luck! So I have repeated those words a lot. In addition, I broke a comb, walked on the tatami edges, …" Konata listed, counting with her fingers.

"Are you sure about all that? I don't think bad luck can 'overload' …" Kagami sighed.

"This morning I also walked 13 times under a ladder, while a black cat of one of our neighbors was watching, opened an umbrella indoors, and put my shoes on the table."

"Ladder? Black cat? Shoes on table – yech! What's that nonsense?" Kagami asked.

"Those are Western superstitions. I thought those could be useful too! Wait, there was one more thing. I played with matches and put an ice pack on my tummy!"

"Konata. That just means you will wet your bed and get diarrhea!" Kagami yelled. They had just come to the living room, and everyone turned to look at Kagami, when they heard this strange sentence. A few of the girls giggled.

Misao rolled on the floor with laughter. "Hiiragi! Don't try to explain that! It would be less funny if you did!"

While Kagami had been in the kitchen, Hiyori and Patricia had also arrived.

"Kagami-senpai, could you explain that to me later?" Hiyori asked. "I could use it in a doujin."

"Umm … Izumi-san, Kagami-san, thanks for bringing juice. But I think everyone is here, so maybe we could start?" Miyuki said.

The doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" Kagami asked.

"Cousin Yui and Kuroi-sensei, perhaps," Konata said. "They were invited, after all."

Indeed, Yui was behind the door, but she was dragging Kuroi along. "Sorry I'm late, Kona-chan, Yu-chan! But I couldn't leave Nanako-san alone. She's been drinking and seemed quite upset for some reason. Ah well, I'm getting used to this. Last time I had to stay with her at a love hotel, of all places!"

"Yeah, Ayano and Misao told us about that …"

Gently, Yui laid the drunken teacher onto the floor, and put a pillow under her head.

"Aww. Cheer up, sensei! You will feel better when you hear that we all got into college!" Konata announced.

"Konata! Don't say such things before we even know if it's true!" Kagami yelled.

"So, let's find out now!" Konata said, taking a thick bundle of envelopes from her apron pocket.

"Wait, shouldn't we eat _katsudon_ first? For good luck?" Kagami asked.

"No, overload! Overload! Fall! Drop! Miss!" Konata exclaimed, and poured salt onto the table.

The others looked rather puzzled.

Kagami sighed. "Never mind that. I don't want to explain it now. Let's just open the letters …"

For the next couple of minutes, only the rustling of paper could be heard.

"Sis, I can't bear to look at them!" Tsukasa moaned.

"I think you'd better look at that thick bundle of paper, because after all, it does look like an admission letter," Kagami said. Tactfully, she didn't mention all the others which seemed to have just a single page.

"It is!" Tsukasa gasped. "Sis, I got in! I … got in a college …" her voice broke and she started to cry. "It's the one closest to our house. I can live at home …"

"I'm happy for you, Tsukasa-san," Miyuki said. "I also got in …"

"Yuki-chan, all your letters are thick," Konata noted.

"Oh … well, yes. I got into every college I applied into, so I just have to choose one of them …" Miyuki admitted, blushing slightly.

The others glared at Miyuki.

"Aaand I score! Seven rejections, but this one is a yes!" Konata yelled. "Darn, why did I pay for all of those other entrance exams? I should have taken just this one!"

"Oh, so you got into that one as well," Misao noted. "Yep, it's the same and only one I got in, too!"

"So they do have a college for idiots," Kagami sighed.

"Well, Hiiragi? Did you get into any college at all?" Misao said, glaring at Kagami. "And don't worry, you can always try again next year!" she added, cheerfully.

"O-of course I did! Let me just open all the letters first!" Kagami said. She didn't say that every letter so far was a rejection, and that there was only one of them remaining.

"Tsukasa-chan, I think we will be in the same college," Ayano said.

"Oh? I'm happy, Ayano-chan … I thought I wouldn't know anyone there!" Tsukasa said, looking relieved. "Let's have a great time together!"

"Boo, Ayano … we're going to be separated," Misao said. "I guess I must hand you over to the Hiiragi sister, then. Hope she can take care of you!"

Ayano giggled. She knew perfectly well that it was she who would have to take care of Tsukasa, like she had taken care of Misao all these years.

"I'll have to give you a private lesson about 'how to handle Ayano'," Misao said to Tsukasa.

"Don't listen to her, Tsukasa-chan," Ayano said.

Kagami forced herself to look cool, as she opened the last letter. It took a great effort to not burst into tears or scream aloud, because the last letter was positive. Konata looked at her knowingly, and winked her eye. "So, Kagamin. You got into the one you wanted most? Grats!" Konata said.

"Yeah … thanks, Konata. I know it's not Tokyo U, but not bad, not bad at all. Besides, it's fairly close to yours," Kagami said.

"Oh? Why does it have to be close to our college?" Misao asked right away.

"Because … umm …" Kagami stuttered, and started to blush.

"I'm getting a place of my own and Kagami will move in with me," Konata explained.

"Yeah …" Kagami confirmed.

"Aww, you are like a couple, then! Living together, having a bath together, sleeping together," Misao said jokingly.

Kagami blushed even brighter, and Konata burst into laughter. "Yeah, exactly! Lookin' forward to it," she exclaimed.

"Senpai? You all got into college?" Hiyori asked. "That's great!"

"Let's have a toast!" Misao shouted. "What? Juice? Where's the sake?"

The word "sake" made Kuroi-sensei wake up. "Where?"

Misao shouted, "Sensei! We all got into college!"

"What? How's that poss –" Kuroi gasped, sounding very surprised. "I mean … it'sh all becaushe of my teaching! Y-you should thank me … and bring me that s-sh-ake!"

"Here!" Konata announced, taking a large bottle of sake from the cupboard.

Kagami glared at her. "I don't think we should be drinking …"

"Come on, Kagami. If we all share a bottle, nobody will even get drunk. It's not, like, iced tea, or anything."

Kagami shivered as she remembered the iced tea and what it had done to her.

The bottle was snatched from Konata's fingers. Kuroi had gotten up surprisingly quickly, grabbed the bottle, and was already taking a large gulp.

"Hey! Leave some for us!" Misao yelled, snatched the bottle in turn, and swallowed the stuff as fast as she could.

"Misa-chan! No!" Ayano gasped. "Don't you remember what happens when you get drunk?"

"Oh? What happens when she gets drunk?" Konata asked.

"She becomes … umm, very … friendly," Ayano said, blushing a bit.

"It's okay, then. Let her drink this one time. Misa-chan, leave some of it so we can at least have a celebration toast," Konata said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

A few minutes later, Kuroi was sitting in a corner, her arms around Misao, who was sitting on her lap, her head resting on Kuroi's shoulder.

All the others stared at them with their mouths open.

"Ooh, sensei … this is nice! Could you kiss me again like you did at Christmas?" Misao cooed.

"Not in public!" Kuroi exclaimed. "I'm a lady, you know!" she added, and let out a very loud and un-ladylike burp.

"Let's sing!" Misao shouted, and started to sing – or rather, scream, "_Watashi wo senaka kara dakishimete sasayaku anata no kuni no kotoba wa…_"

Kuroi joined her, equally loud. While she was a better singer, the fact she didn't know the song made it equally bad.

Kagami covered her ears, and sighed, "Sake, women, and song …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Later that evening, Miyuki invited Tsukasa, Kagami, and Konata to have a little talk in private.

* * *

I decided to move their little talk into the next chapter, because I'm not quite sure about it yet. So, it could be anything… (¯◡◡¯·)

I looked up the high school that was the model for the one in Lucky*Star, and tried to find out what their award is called. Couldn't find it, though, and used the "Kinran award". So, I used an hour just trying to find one or two words for the story. But that's part of the fun!

Having four (_shi_) of something is unlucky, because it also means death. The others are upset because Misao and Konata say all the other unlucky words (drop, miss, fall, fail, etc.) and do all sorts of unlucky things.

_Ichi go, ichi ei_: one life, one meeting … I'm certain I heard the phrase in Lucky Star at some point. Was it in episode 23? Konata buying stuff just by looking at the cover, I think.

Japanese superstitions include these: If you play with fire, you will wet your bed. A cold midriff will cause diarrhea.

Misao is singing "Adesso E Fortuna ~ 炎と永遠 ~", the opening theme from Record of Lodoss War, and it fits the situation – _watashi wo senaka kara_ means "you hug me from behind". (^_^)


	3. Finrando

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 3: Finrando!**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

KungFuTruffle wondered how Konata and Misao got into college. They did, it's canon; revealed in the 6th or 7th volume of the manga. It's plausible too, because getting into college is easier in Japan these days, due to lack of applicants.

More than one people said they like long chapters. So, here's the longest chapter I have ever written. Word processor says 14,681 words, while fanfiction dot net says 16,429 words. In other words, pretty darn long! I hope continuity is okay and that I didn't make too many errors.

This is about their vacation. First I considered Okinawa or Hokkaido, but decided to use a place I know (¯◡◡¯·). Only Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki appear in this chapter.

EDIT: fixed a few typos and errors … but not all of them …

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Later that evening, Miyuki invited Tsukasa, Kagami, and Konata to have a little talk in private.

"So, what's up, Yuki-chan?" Konata said.

"During Christmas shopping, there was a prize drawing … and, well … I won the grand price. It turned out to be a family trip to Finland," Miyuki said.

"Oh, that's amazing, Yuki-chan!" Tsukasa gasped.

"Grats!" Konata exclaimed.

"That's wonderful! Are you traveling during the break?" Kagami asked.

"The thing is … my mom and dad aren't able to travel with me … you know how things are … so they said I can use this price as I want. And so, I'd like to invite you three to join me, if you want to come?" Miyuki explained.

"Great! Kagami, we must go! This is 'one life, one meeting'!" Konata yelled, bouncing around.

"No, that doesn't sound right … anyway, I think would like to go. Thank you, Miyuki," Kagami said.

"Sure! … but … where is that place?" Tsukasa said. "Is it in Hokkaido?"

"Tsukasa … you just finished high school. Haven't you learned anything?" Kagami muttered. "And don't you remember the Finnish sauna?"

"I would have invited everyone, but sadly there are only four tickets. But maybe we all can travel together some other time?" Miyuki said.

"Uh … traveling with both Konata and Misao … and Kuroi-sensei? … that would be too tiresome. I'm glad there were only four tickets," Kagami muttered.

"Yu-chan and Minami-chan said they already had plans for the vacation, so they won't mind," Konata noted.

"Is Finland in America?" Tsukasa asked.

"No, it's in Northern Europe," Konata said.

"What? How do you know anything?" Kagami asked.

"There's a lot of anime about it –"

"Konata, I hope you don't base your expectations about this trip on anime," Kagami interrupted.

"Why? Isn't it just like in the anime? Finnish witches kicking ass in the World War, and so on?"

Kagami just stared at Konata in disbelief.

"Santa is from Finland, isn't he?" Tsukasa asked.

"Yeah! And all the Christmas Trees come from Finland!" Konata noted.

"No, they don't …" Kagami sighed.

"Moomins!" Konata screamed, startling the others. "That was it! I knew I had seen that monster!"

"What?"

"The anime that scared poor Yu-chan. That was Moomins. It's from Finland too!"

"Oh."

"So Finland is very scary! It's full of trolls and monsters!" Konata exclaimed.

Tsukasa yelped and clung onto Miyuki.

"Don't listen to her," Kagami said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yahoo! What's up, guys! Dad drove me here. What took you so long?" Konata shouted, as she saw Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki at the airport. The day their vacation would start had finally arrived.

"Tsukasa did …" Kagami sighed.

"Sis!" Tsukasa gasped, "… … sorry, it was my fault. I overslept and then I got really confused about what clothes I would need in Hokkaido … I mean, Finland … I mean, I called Yuki-chan and she said it's like Hokkaido."

"I only meant the climate, Tsukasa-san."

"The what? … oh, you mean weather!" Tsukasa noted.

Kagami just rolled her eyes.

Konata croaked, "So that's why you are wearing mittens and a scarf," trying not to laugh aloud.

"They are so warm …" Tsukasa sighed. "… actually, it's getting a bit hot …"

"Tsukasa, it's a ten hour flight before we are there," Kagami said.

"But Yuki-chan said it's 500 degrees below zero in the something sphere where the plane is flying!"

"No, 50 degrees below zero at that altitude in the troposphere. But the airplane cabin has heating," Miyuki said.

"Oh, that's right. Maybe I should take these off, then," Tsukasa said.

Kagami sighed deeply.

"What is trop-o-sphere, Yuki-chan?"

Kagami stared at her with disbelief. "Tsukasa, you just graduated from high school. And you were accepted into a college."

"That's right, sis! Isn't it wonderful?" Tsukasa exclaimed, looking rather smug.

Konata spluttered, and even Miyuki had a hard time to avoid laughing.

They had waited in the line, and now it was their turn to enter the security check. Konata took her hand console from her bag, turned it on – an act which produced loud beeps and musical tunes – and placed it on the belt of the luggage scanner.

"Why, oh why I have to travel with two airheads!" Kagami groaned. "Why did you do that? You make us all look silly!"

"Kagami, the sign says, all computers must be opened and placed on the belt! This console is, in fact, a computer! So – " Konata dictated.

"Laptops! It means laptops! Their lid must be opened!" Kagami yelled.

It was too late, though, because Konata's beeping hand console was already going into the scanner. The security personnel looked at it with their mouths open.

Already blushing, Kagami stepped through the metal detector, and it showed a red light and a sound signal. She stepped back, emptied her pockets onto the scanner belt, and stepped through the detector again. Just as she was almost getting through, the detector gave another alarm. The color of her cheeks was by now competing with the red warning light.

"Kagami, look! This thing really detects metal! Each time I push my keys into it, it makes that noise!" Konata said. Kagami looked at her and saw her indeed pushing her keys into the detector yet again, making it give off an alarm.

"You … you …" Kagami huffed, out of breath with anger.

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't realize you were trying to get through," Konata said, while taking a couple of quick steps backwards.

"She drives me crazy!" Kagami said to the security people, who first looked at her, then at the beeping hand console, then at Konata, then back at Kagami – and nodded solemnly.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

They had found their seats in the plane. Konata had insisted getting the window seat. The others had not objected – especially Tsukasa and Kagami, who looked pale and were unusually silent.

"Sis, have you flown before? Yuki-chan says she has … but I haven't … and I'm a bit scared," Tsukasa whispered.

"Tsukasa … at which time could I have been in an airplane on my own?" Kagami sighed. She tried to look cool, but was already squeezing the armrests with her knuckles white. She felt cold sweat on her forehead, and her heart was pounding.

Kagami flinched as Konata poked her side. "K-Konata! Don't scare me like that!"

Konata didn't listen; instead, she was bouncing with excitement. "Kagami, look, you can see lots of other planes parked there … and the runway! Wow, it's long! Do we really need that long a road to take off?"

Kagami couldn't look. "I don't know!" she said, with a quavering voice. "And please, fasten your seat belt …"

"Oh, right," Konata said, and clicked her seat belt lock close. "I've been playing a flight sim recently, just to see how hard it is. Takeoff was easy, but I always crashed soon! Especially with a jet plane like this!" Konata exclaimed, and then yelped in pain, as Kagami inadvertently grabbed her hand and squeezed it much too hard.

The plane had started to accelerate. "Whoa! It's powerful!" Konata yelled. "Whee!"

Tsukasa was holding her mouth and flailing with her other hand. At the last moment, Miyuki tossed a barf bag into her hands. Tsukasa buried her face into the bag and emptied her stomach noisily.

"Yeehaw! Takeoff!" Konata yelled. "Look, Kagami! We got really high really fast! Hm, what's that sour smell?"

Kagami went limp and fell forward in her seat, bumping her head into the back of the next seat. Her arms dangled down, towards the floor.

"Kagami? … oh, she fell asleep," Konata noted. "Just like her to fall asleep at a moment like this! Reminds me of the other night, when she dozed off in the middle of – oops, maybe I shouldn't tell you guys that – hey, Kagami?"

"I-Izumi-san, Kagami-san looks really pale. I think she fainted …" Miyuki said.

"Amazing! So that's what it is! I think have never seen Kagami faint before. Is she going to wake up if I tickle her? Or put something really smelly under her nose," Konata asked with enthusiasm, and started looking through her pockets and handbag for something really smelly.

"No, I don't think so. We need to get more blood into Kagami-san's head," Miyuki said.

"Oh. That's too bad. I didn't bring the nurse outfit," Konata noted. "But there are those hot girls in uniform around here…"

"No, Izumi-san, that doesn't work. She couldn't see you anyway. First, could you pull her up, and lower the back of her seat as much back as it goes. Then, loosen her clothing –"

"Aww-right!" Konata yelled.

"Izumi-san, please …" Miyuki sighed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Kagami's seat had been lowered, she had a cold towel on her forehead, and Konata was fanning fresh air for her with a fan. These accessories were provided by one of the "hot girls in uniform", like Konata had described the stewardesses.

On the opposite, Miyuki cared for Tsukasa in a similar manner.

"Feeling better, Kagamin?"

"Yeah … I'm getting used to flying now. I don't think I'll faint again."

"Anyway, are we going to see the Queen of Finland?" Konata asked.

"No, they don't have a queen. They do have a female president, her name is …" Miyuki started. She cleared her throat, and tried her best. "Taaja Harunen!"

Konata burst into laughter. "No way! What does that mean?"

"It's her name. Taaja is first name, Harunen is surname."

"Haruhi?"

Kagami sighed, and interrupted Miyuki, before she tried to explain it in more detail. "Don't bother. Just write it in kana and show her. Can you read katakana, Konata?"

"What? Do you think I'm an idiot? Of course I can! Go on, Yuki-chan. I can't wait to see that name written down!"

Miyuki got a piece of paper and pen from her handbag, pulled down the tray, and started to write. "Anyway, speaking of idiots … Finland used to have a prime minister called Esko Aho."

Konata guffawed, and even Tsukasa and Kagami giggled.

"He even visited Japan once. The media had a field day with him," Miyuki explained.

She showed what she had written to the others.

"It's still incomprehensible," Konata said, scratching her head.

"Never mind. I don't think we are going to meet the president either," Kagami said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Kagami? Are you asleep?" Konata whispered. Several hours had passed, and most of the passengers were sleeping.

"I was, until you poked my ribs," Kagami muttered.

"Oh, sorry. I just wanted you to see this." Konata beckoned Kagami to look out of the window.

The lights had been dimmed for the night, and as Kagami leaned over Konata, she saw the dark sky filled with countless stars.

"What? I don't think I've ever seen that much stars on the sky. There's too much light pollution in Japan …" Kagami whispered.

"Isn't this romantic?" Konata whispered, directly into Kagami's ear at a close range, making her flinch.

Kagami rubbed her itching ear, and muttered, "No, not in this position. It's really uncomfortable."

"Kagami, the hand rest can be raised. Move aside, I'll get that. And, open your seat belt. They will warn us if there's turbulence."

"What do you know about turbulence?"

"The flight sims –"

"Okay, okay. Maybe … maybe your games are sometimes useful. Not often!" Kagami admitted, smiling slightly.

"Especially the gal-games!"

"No, not those …"

"Well, I got you, didn't I? And a _tsundere, _that's extra points for difficulty. Come here."

"Extra points? Bah … I don't know why I listen to you." Sighing, Kagami moved closer to Konata, who wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her against her side. Kagami wrapped her other arm around Konata as well. Their free hands met and the fingers twined together.

"Ohh … nice. So warm …"

"Yeah … let's sleep, Kagamin …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

After ten hours, the plane had finally landed and the 'fasten safety belts' light turned off.

"Finally! Finrando! Finrando!" Konata shouted, jumped up from her seat, and dashed to the door before anybody else. The surprised stewardess didn't even have time to bow and say 'thank you and welcome again'.

"Wait! Konata! Calm down!" Kagami yelled.

They hurried through the passage and found Konata standing in the terminal hall, looking puzzled.

"Hey, what kept you so long? But look at this place! All of this could fit in one corner of Narita's toilets," Konata said.

"Oh, such a little airport! It's kind of cute!" Tsukasa noted.

"And they say this is the largest airport in the entire country?" Kagami said.

"And there's almost no people at all," Konata noted. "Is it a holiday or something?"

"No, but this is not the tourist season," Miyuki explained. "And this country has just five million people or so."

"Oh, so it's a really small country. How cute!" Tsukasa chirped.

"No … it's almost exactly as large as Japan," Miyuki said.

"No way!" Konata yelled.

"Konata, didn't you look anything up beforehand? Anyway, I get a feeling that this place is even stranger than Japan," Kagami muttered.

"Come on! Let's race to get our luggage!" Konata shouted, but she stopped running almost immediately. "Umm, Miyuki … where do we get our luggage? All these signs are in Finnish!"

"Konata-san, the signs are in English …" Miyuki said.

"See that image of a suitcase? And the arrow pointing into that direction?" Kagami said.

"Yeah, is it a hieroglyph or something? Do they write in hieroglyphs?" Konata asked, looking excited.

"No, they don't. Konata, the same symbols are used at Narita …"

They walked through the hallway and took an escalator down, and found a place where the luggage moved around on a conveyor belt.

"Konata, you are not supposed to ride the belt! The luggage will be sent to us!" Kagami said, and dragged Konata off the belt.

"Bah. That's not nearly as exciting," Konata muttered.

They returned upstairs with their luggage and looked around. While the place was small, seeing all the exotic sights and the foreigners hurrying past made them a bit confused.

"Let's walk through this place first and look at those shops!" Konata announced.

"Konata, the shops at airports are very expensive, as you should know," Kagami said.

"Well, we don't have to buy anything. Unless they have some unique doujin or something …"

"I hope not," Kagami sighed.

It didn't take them long to take a peek into all the shops, since there weren't that many of them at this small airport. Miyuki explained how to convert the prices into yen, and they were indeed outrageous.

"Look, Moomin figures!" Konata said. "At those prices, selling them back at home would give little profit. I hope they are cheaper elsewhere…"

"Ahem. Apparently, the Moomintroll was originally a caricature of Immanuel Kant. The author of Moomins, Jansson-san, drew the first picture of Moomintroll inside the door of an outhouse. It was meant to annoy her brother," Miyuki explained. "Oh, and the author was gay. Her life partner appears in the Moomins anime as Too-Ticky," she added.

Konata and Kagami looked at Miyuki, completely speechless.

"Oh no! Rudolph!" Tsukasa screamed.

Everyone turned to look. Tsukasa was holding a hand on her mouth, and pointing at a pile of fur. Beside the white and gray skins, there was a large sign in many languages – including Japanese – saying, "REINDEER FURS, € 100".

"Tsukasa … it's not Rudolph," Kagami sighed.

"Yeah, Santa wouldn't let them skin Rudolph. So it can't be him," Konata said. "And is it possible to even shoot a flying reindeer? It must be really difficult. Do you see any bullet holes in those skins?"

Tsukasa turned pale and had to lean on Miyuki. Kagami just stared at Konata.

"Umm … reindeer don't fly … and Rudolph can't actually be a buck," Miyuki said.

"What?" all the others said.

"He – I mean – she, is a doe. Rudolph has horns during the winter, and usually only doe – that is, a female reindeer – keeps its horns through the winter –"

The others looked at Miyuki with their mouths open.

After the moment of astonishment, Konata burst into laughter. "Yuki-chan, that's great! Your Christmas Lore is strong! So, what can you tell us about Santa-san's beard? Is it flammable?"

"Oh! Assuming he has a normal beard, just like a human, it is not particularly flammable – " Miyuki started.

Kagami interrupted her. "Miyuki … you don't need to elaborate on that. Let's head for the city. I think we need to take a bus, there's no sign of a train station anywhere."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

During the bus drive, they looked out of the windows with great curiosity.

"Weird. There's no snow. I thought there would be snow everywhere, and reindeer … and … those … lapdancers!" Tsukasa said – the last word more or less in English.

Konata looked at Kagami, and they both burst into laughter. "Yeah, that would be great!" Konata roared.

Miyuki kept her cool, and explained, "Tsukasa-san, I think you mean Laplanders. Or the Sami people. But they live in Northern Finland, and this is the South. In here, it's springtime, and the snow has already melted. But we are going to the North later, and I understood that there's still plenty of snow there."

Soon, they had passed the little strip of countryside there were in between the airfield and the city. After going through the city, the bus dove into a tunnel.

"So the bus line ends in the basement of a mall," Konata noted, when they stopped at the end of the line and disembarked the bus.

"And this is a big place, too. Look at that map," Tsukasa said, and pointed at an illuminated sign.

Everyone looked at Miyuki, who tried to read it, and said, "Well, some of this is apparently in English. Many restaurants … uhh … and a shop called 'Ninja'?"

Konata guffawed. "What the heck? Do they sell ninja outfits, swords, and whatnot?"

"This map doesn't describe the shops … so I can't tell," Miyuki said.

"We have to check that one!" Konata announced.

To Konata's disappointment, the shop seemed to sell cheap costume jewelry, scarfs, hairpins, and other things. "Of course!" she exclaimed, and slapped her forehead. "If it was a real ninja shop, it wouldn't have shown in the map. 'cause a ninja shop must be secret!"

"Konata, the idea of Finnish ninjas, in any case …" Kagami said. "… what am I saying? I'm becoming as weird as you. It must be contagious."

Miyuki was looking at the map again. "This is weird. They have not one, but two sushi bars in this mall."

"Hey, if they have sushi bars, they must have ninjas!" Konata claimed.

They had a mental image of Finnish ninjas in their black costumes, their swords hanging on their backs, sitting in a sushi bar and having lunch. They looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"Kona-chan, do ninjas eat sushi?" Tsukasa asked.

"No, I think …" Konata pondered, and scratched her head – going through all the ninja anime and manga in her mind. "Instant ramen! That's what they eat."

"You two … anyway, let's get to the hotel. We can come back to search for ninjas later," Kagami suggested.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"What the …?" Konata gasped. They had come out of the shopping mall, onto a street – full of cosplayers.

The others also stopped, their jaws dropping.

"Ninjas, sushi bars, cosplayers … I don't believe it! Konata, did you somehow arrange this one?" Kagami said.

"No! I swear I didn't. How could I – well, if I had known I could, I would have! But, that's not the point … umm, what was I saying?" Konata said, scratching her head.

"Maybe we can ask them what is going on," Miyuki said. She was blushing, but bravely approached the closest one – a girl wearing a gothloli-style costume, greeted and bowed at her, and talked to her in English for a while.

"They are fans of some J-rock band which has come all the way from Japan, and there's a concert tonight," Miyuki explained, when she returned to the others.

"J-rock … fans … in the other side of the world," Kagami said. "Yeah, this is a weird place!"

By now, many of the cosplayers had noticed the four girls, and were looking at them with great curiosity.

"Uh-oh, they are all looking at us!" Tsukasa gasped.

"Not only that, they are surrounding us," Konata noted.

"T-they are also talking to us in Finnish!" Tsukasa yelped, and tried to hide behind Kagami.

"They speak English, Tsukasa …" Kagami whispered.

"Hello, have you come all the way from Japan for the concert?" one of the cosplayers said, in clear and explicit Japanese.

"What did she say? What did she say?" Konata asked, in a panicking voice.

"Konata, she was speaking Japanese … what, you speak Japanese?" Kagami gasped, staring at the girl in awe. The girl, about of the same age as the four friends, had blond hair, blue eyes, and looked as much like a foreigner as anyone possibly could, and she was full ten inches taller than any of them.

"Oh, just a little. I'm really not at all that good. Sorry," the girl said, and bowed.

"Hey! I understood that! Finnish isn't that difficult at all!" Konata exclaimed.

"Pretty!" a male cosplayer exclaimed, also in Japanese.

"You are beautiful. I love you!" another male said to Miyuki, in Japanese.

"Are you wearing panties?" a third male asked Tsukasa – in Japanese, as well.

Tsukasa turned beet red and escaped behind her big sister again.

"I think we stumbled upon the local otaku," Kagami said.

"Can I take a picture?" more than a few people asked.

Lights flashed and camera phones made noise. Almost everyone of the local seemed to have either a digital camera, or a cell phone with camera.

The girl who spoke Japanese yelled something in a stern voice, and most of the others stopped taking photos and moved away.

"Sorry about that," she continued in Japanese, "It's just that … you are all so … umm, pretty, that everyone wants your picture. Could I offer you a cup of coffee? I know a nice café nearby."

"Coffee? Weird," Tsukasa said.

"Yeah, they offered us coffee during the flight. Twice! So, why coffee?" Kagami asked.

"Is it a cosplay café?" Konata asked, looking excited.

"Sorry. I think there's one manga café in town, but it's rather far from here," the girl explained, and walked ahead of them, showing the way.

They entered the café, the Finnish girl entering first, and sat at a table.

"Oh, now I understand what you were wondering about. It's just that we Finnish people drink coffee all the time. In fact, we are the top coffee-drinkers in the world. So, what would you like to have?" the girl asked.

"Oh … melon soda, please," Tsukasa said.

"Barley tea would be fine, thank you," Kagami said.

"I'd like to taste the local _sencha_, please, if that is within the possibility," Miyuki said.

"Beer!" Konata exclaimed.

Kagami glared at Konata.

"Uh … I'm sorry, but … we don't have any of those. Or, we do have beer, but this place isn't allowed to serve it …" the girl said.

"Oh, I see. Just kidding, anyway. When in Rome, be a gladiator! … or something like that," Konata said. "I think I'll try the coffee, then!"

"Konata, coffee contains caffeine. Are you sure you will be okay?" Kagami asked.

"Yeah, I used to drink coffee sometimes, during all-night gaming," Konata explained. "Although then I had to take toilet breaks all the time … maybe I should have tried wearing a diaper?" she added.

"Konata, I wish you had not told me that …" Kagami sighed. The mental image Konata's words had produced inside her head was disturbing, in more than one way.

"Just tea, then," Miyuki said.

"Tea is okay, thank you," Kagami said.

"Well … I think any lemonade will do, please," Tsukasa said.

The Finnish girl made the order and soon their drinks were bought.

Miyuki and Kagami stared at the cups they had been given.

"There's a little pouch in this cup …" Kagami said.

"That's called a 'tea bag'," Miyuki explained.

"Oh. I remember. They sweep all the tea fallen on the floor in the tea factory and pack it in bags … which … are then soaked in water and …" Kagami muttered. She looked at the Finnish girl, and forced herself to take a taste. She tried not to cringe, and said, "D-delicious …"

The Finnish girl laughed. "Hey, Kagami-san, you don't have to drink it if you don't like it. In this country, it's perfectly okay. You won't offend anyone."

"She's right, Kagami-san," Miyuki noted. "The customs are different. In here, you don't have to take your shoes off inside, and –"

"Excuse me, Miyuki-san," the Finnish girl interrupted. "But if you go to a Finnish home, you _are_ supposed to take your shoes off."

"Oh!" Miyuki gasped.

"Wait a moment. This is a net café, so I'll do an Internet search for you. I bet there's a summary of Finnish customs in Japanese, which I can print for you," the Finnish girl said, and stood up, walking towards the computers.

"What a weird, weird country …" Kagami muttered.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Oh, so you are going to _that_ hotel. It's down that street and to the left, across the main street – called Mannerheim's Road, and then to the left – I think it's best if I'll walk you there," the Finnish girl concluded.

"Oh no, that's far too kind! There's no need for you to do that," Miyuki said, and bowed reflectively.

"I won't mind. In fact, it would be my pleasure!" the girl exclaimed, and bowed too.

And soon enough, they were walking along the streets of Helsinki. To the four friends, the street seemed quiet, but the Finnish girl said, "Lots of people around today." The others raised their eyebrows, but didn't say anything.

"By the way … you must be very rich. It's the most expensive hotel in Finland, I think," the Finnish girl said.

"Is it? I had no idea. Can we afford it?" Kagami asked.

"The price includes one night at this hotel. So we don't have to worry about the cost," Miyuki explained.

"So, did you have any plans for today? There a lot of sights in Helsinki, Linnanmäki is already open, and so on," the girl said.

"What's Rinaa … Rinnaa … that strange name?" Konata asked.

"Oh, it's just an amusement park."

"Why was it closed? Was the Ghost Train broke or something?" Konata asked, and giggled.

"It was closed for winter, of course."

"Ah! I forgot this is arctic region. Are the polar bears causing lots of trouble?" Konata asked. "I saw this nature program where the polar bears destroyed people's trashcans and sheds in search of food."

The Finnish girl smiled. "No, the local polar bears are very well-behaved. They stay out of civilization's way. In fact, I have never even seen one," she said.

"Is that so? Anyway, an amusement park sounds amusing," Konata said. "Should we go there today? Is it far from the hotel?"

"It's not very far. You can take the tram. I can find you a map and write instructions," the girl explained.

"Kona-chan, that sounds like fun! Let's go there!" Tsukasa said.

Soon enough, they arrived to the hotel and entered it.

"Wow! This is a fancy place, indeed," Konata noted, looking around the hotel lobby.

They sat down at one of the tables, the Finnish girl got them a map, and explained which tram to use, and how. They also exchanged their addresses and phone numbers, and took photos of each other. The four friends thanked their guide profusely. Before leaving, the Finnish girl hugged each one of them in turn, which made them feel a bit awkward, but they understood that it was the custom here. At the door, the Finnish girl turned towards them, and beckoned them to follow.

However, Miyuki stopped Konata from standing up. "Izumi-san, the local gestures are different from ours. That means, 'goodbye'."

"Oh, so that's how it is," Konata said, and waved her hand in a similar manner. Tsukasa tried to copy them, but her waving looked a bit awkward. "Bye-nii!" she yelled.

"Let's check in, then – wait, what, a Japanese restaurant here as well?" Kagami said, pointing at one direction.

"Weird. Why do they have sushi joints and stuff everywhere?" Konata asked. "Like, do we have Finnish restaurants all over Washimiya? No … I think?"

"Japanese cuisine is known and appreciated world-wide," Miyuki claimed.

"I dare you not to eat any Japanese cuisine during this entire trip!" Konata yelled.

"Since when it was your turn to dare us?" Kagami said. "Wait a minute! We are not, I repeat, NOT going to play that game!" she added, almost shouting.

A few of the customers within turned to look at Kagami. The attention made her blush and she snapped her mouth shut. Konata had mercy on her and didn't pursuit the subject.

"Anyway, what's Finnish cuisine like? Never heard of it," Konata asked.

"I'm afraid I don't know either, Izumi-san," Miyuki said. "We can find out. But let's check in now, shall we?"

They walked up to the reception and Miyuki did the talking, as usual.

Miyuki turned to the others, and said, "Yes, they have our reservations. We just need to fill these forms. And, she's asking whether we'd like to have single rooms, or double rooms?"

"_Honeimuno suitte foo mu ando mai waifu Kagamin!"_ Konata said in English, trying to pronounce it as well as she could, and pointing at herself and Kagami.

"What? You, talking English?" Kagami said. Slowly, she understood what had just been said and turned bright red instantly. She tried to say something herself, but, it took her time before she could formulate anything in English, and so the receptionist got ahead of her.

The woman smiled, and said, "Oh, let me check … yes, the Honeymoon suite is available. Congratulations! I'll inform the staff about a newly-wed couple. We will arrange the room for your wedding night. I hope you enjoy your stay!"

Kagami understood enough of that, and her jaw dropped.

Miyuki translated what had been said to the others.

"What? I was just joking! … newly-wed … two girls! … a-and she doesn't find it odd at all?" Konata gasped.

"Izumi-san, do you want me to correct the mistake?" Miyuki asked.

"No, of course not! That's great! Waifu … I mean, Kagami, so we got the honeymoon suite you so much wanted!"

"I did not! … but … uhh …" Kagami muttered "… but now I'm kind of curious about it."

"It's our wedding night … how romantic!" Konata noted, barely holding back her laughter.

"Shut up!"

"Yuki-chan, can I sleep with you?" Tsukasa asked, completely innocently.

"Oh … a double room for me and Tsukasa-san, please," Miyuki said in English.

The receptionist exchanged a few more pleasantries with Miyuki, and gave them their key cards.

"Konata, is that one sentence in English all you know?" Kagami said, as they were walking towards the elevators.

"Of course not! I have learned a lot of English in the Internet!" Konata explained.

"Konata … you should have learned it at school," Kagami sighed.

"No, no. Let me demonstrate!" Konata cleared her throat, and said, "Kagami, _I am going to bang you until your ancestors beg for mercy!_" in near-perfect English.

Kagami was struck speechless. Miyuki gurgled and leaned onto the elevator wall.

"What did Kona-chan say?" Tsukasa asked.

Miyuki had a sudden fit of coughing.

"That's something you can't learn at school!" Konata announced, strutting proudly.

"K-Konata … I hope you don't really know what you just said …" Kagami stuttered.

"What? My friends from America taught that to me in the online game. You know, we have audio – I mean, we can talk over the game these days. Isn't technology amazing?" Konata said.

"Your friends have a weird sense of humor …" Kagami muttered.

"Let's just leave our bags in the room and head for the amusement park the Finnish girl mentioned?" Miyuki said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Eww, this place smells!" Tsukasa said, and pinched her nose. They had just boarded a tram car and bought tickets.

"Yeah, it does," Konata said, sniffed the air, and added, "… like old urine, vomit, and –"

"Please, don't describe it!" Kagami interrupted.

"And there's a dirty old wino sleeping over there …" Tsukasa whispered.

"Can we take the taxi when we get back?" Konata asked.

"I'm afraid taxis are very expensive, Izumi-san," Miyuki said. She was leafing through a guidebook in English she had acquired at the hotel.

"Darn. Ah well, I guess this isn't much worse than our commute," Konata said. "It used to smell like cheap perfume, sweat, –"

Kagami interrupted again. "Don't describe that either. It makes me homesick. Anyway, there's the amusement park, I think. I can see a Ferris wheel." Kagami noted.

They got out of the tram and climbed the walkway to the gates.

"Wow, there's actually a line!" Konata noted. "I think it's the first time I see a line in this country."

"Yeah. I heard that this town has over half a million people, and they call it a big city," Kagami said, smiling at the thought.

"L-I-N-N-A-N-M-" Miyuki tried to read the letters. "Hm, and that's an 'a', with umlauts, so that's … uhh …"

Konata laughed. "Nobody can say that word. That's just too weird!"

"Well, the Finnish girl said … Rinanmaaki?"

The others looked at her for a second, and then burst into laughter.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Look at all those booths! This looks like a festival! Maybe we should have worn yukatas?" Konata said. "Kagami, are you going to scoop for goldfish?"

"Of course not! Why would I? Besides, they don't seem to have goldfish scooping …" Kagami stopped at one booth, which was selling cotton candy.

"Having a snack, then?" Konata piped.

"Konata, I hope you are not mocking me …" Kagami muttered.

"Oh, Kagami-san, one serving of cotton candy contains just a little over 100 kilocalories. So it's not that fattening," Miyuki noted.

"Not you too!" Kagami groaned.

Tsukasa was already handing coins to the vendor.

"Kagami, let Miyuki lick off any pieces that get stuck on Tsukasa's face," Konata noted.

"What? Oh yeah, the last time Tsukasa had cotton candy …" Kagami said, absent-mindedly, because she was still considering whether to buy or not.

"Go ahead, Kagamin. Maybe you get some stuck on your face as well," Konata encouraged her.

"Okay. If it's just 100 kilocalories …" Kagami sighed.

"And I'll arrange lots of exercise for you tonight," Konata said, and winked an eye.

"We were supposed to be on vacation …" Kagami muttered. "What?" – but Konata was already running ahead of them, having spotted something interesting. "Wow! Look at that! We got to ride that one!" she yelled.

It was some sort of a Ferris wheel, except horizontal. The frame rose until it was nearly vertical, inverting the riders completely at the top of the ride.

Tsukasa watched this for a while. She turned pale and her legs gave way, but Miyuki caught her into her arms before she fell.

"I think Tsukasa already got enough of that one …" Kagami said. "But I accept your challenge!"

Konata gulped. She had thought nobody else would agree, and now she was having second thoughts.

"Come on, Konata. I thought you wanted to ride this one?" Kagami said, grinning at her.

"Uh … yeah, of course I did!" Konata claimed, and hesitantly walked into the line with Kagami.

Konata looked slightly nauseous when the ride finally ended. Kagami was grinning widely, and just slightly wobbling as she came out of the gondola.

"It reminded me of Yui's driving! That's why," Konata explained, before Kagami had time to say anything.

"I guess I'm a bit dizzy myself. Let's rest for a while before finding another ride," Kagami said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Let's try that one!" Konata yelled.

"A funhouse? Isn't that for kids?" Kagami asked.

"No, some of them are reaaaaallly scary!" Konata croaked at Tsukasa. "It is told that people may fall through a hidden trapdoor and the ones who do are never seen again. There's a rumor that they are eaten alive by crazed clowns …"

Tsukasa and Miyuki both yelped and clung onto each other.

"Nonsense. It's all kids stuff," Kagami said.

"So she says … if Kagami is with us, though, the crazed clowns will be scared to death," Konata said.

Kagami sighed. "Okay, let's all go in, then."

They went through a strange, moving staircase, and over moving bridges. Next, there was a boardwalk through a dark tunnel, with lights somehow rotating around it, and giving the illusion that they were spinning.

"Uh … I feel dizzy …" Tsukasa muttered. Kagami and Miyuki had to carry her through.

Next, they came into a room with a tilted floor. Metal railings formed a twisting pathway through the place. As they walked through, they felt as if the room was swaying from side to side. They giggled at the weird feeling.

"That was confusing … like – being back in high school!" Tsukasa said after they had gotten out.

"I wish that our classroom had been like that," Konata said.

"Hey you two airheads, we're all going to college. It's supposed to be even harder than high school," Kagami said. Both "airheads" groaned and pulled their hair.

Next, they saw a tunnel with daylight at the end of it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except there was a weird shushing noise. They stopped and hesitated.

"There's nothing there!" Kagami said, and bravely walked in.

Everything went fine until a blast of air came through the floor and blew Kagami's skirt inside out.

There was a flash of light as Konata took a picture. She cheered, "I must be psychic! Somehow I knew I had to take the camera out!"

"Konata! Delete that picture right now!"

"But, Kagami, I got plenty of panty shots of you … and without panties, he he …" Konata said, and dashed past Kagami, before she had time to rearrange her clothes.

Further in the corridor, Konata hit another gush of air and her own skirt did exactly the same as Kagami's.

Laughing, Tsukasa and Miyuki maneuvered past them, now that they knew what areas to avoid.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Amazing!" Konata gasped, when they came back to the suite. The lights had been dimmed, and there were flowers everywhere. "Rose petals all over the bed? Weird. What's that bottle in the bucket, then?"

Kagami walked to the table and lifted the bottle from the cooler. "Something … rosé," she read. "I think this is champagne. Really expensive, too."

She looked up because of a strange noise. "Konata, stop bouncing on the bed!"

"Kagami, you must jump on the bed in a Western-style hotel! It's a tradition!"

"No, it isn't …" Kagami said. Instinctively, she looked around, but of course there weren't anyone watching. She stepped onto the bed, bent her knees, and made a small jump. "He he … this bed is quite … umm …"

Konata grinned at her and she blushed.

"Kagami, what are you thinking? I bet it's something perverted!" Konata said.

"No!" Kagami exclaimed, but her blush got brighter.

"Oh! We forgot to look in there!" Konata said, jumped off the bed and opened the bathroom door. "There's a big Jacuzzi! It's even bigger than the one at Minami-chan's house!"

"I hope they won't charge us extra for all this …" Kagami sighed.

"Stop worrying and enjoy!" Konata exclaimed. "Honey, could you open the champagne? I'll start filling the tub."

Kagami cringed. "Honey? Yech, that sounded as if we truly were a newly-wed couple."

Kagami held the bottle turning it in her hands, while trying to figure out how to open it.

There was a sound of rushing water in the bathroom. After a while, Konata yelled, "Do you want to use the Jacuzzi or take a bubble bath? … hey, I know, let's have a Jacuzzi bubble bath!"

"Konata, don't! –" Kagami yelled back, returned the bottle into the cooler, and dashed into the bathroom.

Konata was buried within a mountain of foam pouring forth from the tub. Only her _ahoge _stuck out of the top of foam. Apparently, she was having trouble switching the Jacuzzi off blindly. All this didn't seem to worry her too much, because her melodious voice chanted, "Timotei! Timotei!"

Kagami couldn't offer assistance, as she was now sitting on the floor, incapacitated by laughter.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yuki-chan, I'm curious about that. What is their TV like?" Tsukasa said, pointing at the flat screen TV. Miyuki and Tsukasa had gotten back into their room. Miyuki was resting in an armchair, and Tsukasa lied on the bed.

Miyuki took the remote and pushed a random numeric button. The TV turned on and they started to hear intense commentary in Japanese.

"Ehh …? Sumo wrestling!" Tsukasa gasped.

"Oh, it's a sports channel. Of course they air the Summer Basho all over the world. Let's try another one," Miyuki said, and pressed a button. Again, the language they heard was – Japanese.

"Tak*shi's Castle?"

"Yuki-chan, maybe they have Japanese TV service for Japanese guests?" Tsukasa suggested.

"No, this has Finnish subtexts," Miyuki noted, and changed the channel once more.

This time, they saw the end titles of "B*nzuke" scrolling on the screen, and there was a subtext announcing that "Ninja W*rrior" was coming up next.

"Yuki-chan, please turn it off! It's getting kind of scary!" Tsukasa pleaded.

"Wait, just one more try …"

The next channel showed three or four Finnish men sitting in a studio, and taking turns in talking. Everyone looked serious, and nobody seemed to get agitated or excited by the conversation.

"I guess their TV is exactly the same as ours," Miyuki said, and switched it off.

Tsukasa sighed in relief, stood up, and looked into the bathroom.

"Eww! The toilet is in the same place as the bath! That's disgusting!" Tsukasa said, and then screamed aloud.

"Are you all right, Tsukasa-san?" Miyuki asked, and hurried into the bathroom.

"Yuki-chan! There's no bath! Or anything to wash with!" Tsukasa yelled.

"That white thing there is a Western-style bathtub. And instead of basin, the shower is used for washing," Miyuki explained, and pointed at the shower.

"But that's silly! The shower is above the bath … are we supposed to wash ourselves, and then fill the bath and wait until it warms up?"

"Yes, well, most foreigners have some odd notions about bathing. The bath doesn't have a heater –"

"Oh no! It's going to be freezing!"

"Thankfully, no – we can get warm water straight from the tap."

"Okay. But I don't like washing myself when that dirty thing is in the same room …" Tsukasa sighed, eyeing the toilet bowl.

"It looks very clean, though.

"Maybe the cleaner comes in after each time we use the toilet?" Tsukasa pondered.

"No, that doesn't happen. It's just that … foreigners are unhygienic. See, they don't even have toilet slippers available."

"Eww!"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Niiice …" Konata sighed. They had cleaned up the bathroom, changed the water in the tub – Konata assured that the hotel wouldn't care about the waste of water – and were now soaking in the hot bath.

Kagami had eventually figured out how to open the bottle, and they both had a glass of champagne beside them.

Lazily, Konata reached for the switch and flicked the jets on.

Kagami screamed and almost jumped out of the tub. "Eeek, it tickles!"

Konata giggled. "Yeah, this has more kick than Minami-chan's bath."

"… I wonder how they are doing? Did you say they went to Okinawa? And stop playing with my foot! That tickles as well!"

"Yeah, they just got there. Yu-chan sent me a picture, even. Oh! That reminds me … I didn't bring the camera here."

"Konata, do not even think about taking any weird photos!"

"What? I didn't think of anything like that! Naughty, Kagamin!"

"Yes, you were thinking exactly that!"

"Right now I'm beginning to think something else …" Konata cooed, and winked at Kagami.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Konata …" Kagami huffed. "I'm completely drained … could we please rest … a while …"

She was lying on the bed, face down, unable to move a muscle.

"Y-yeah … that was … great … but exhausting …" Konata panted, hanging limply over the edge of the bed, almost falling off.

Kagami giggled. "You know … the sentence you had so carefully learned in English … _this_ is what it meant."

Konata laughed. "Yeah … I guessed it was something like that …"

Kagami pulled Konata back into the bed, dragged the covers upon them, and both fell asleep almost in an instant.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next morning, they were having breakfast, served as a buffet, in the hotel dining hall.

"Sis, I don't think I have ever seen you so cheerful," Tsukasa noted.

"It's … nothing! I'm just fine!" Kagami said, and tried to wipe the stupid grin off her face.

Konata let out a spluttering sound, trying to hold back her laughter again.

"And what's so funny now?" Kagami snapped at her.

"That's more like it, Kagamin! Remember that you are the tsundere," Konata said, and glared at the bread selection. "Anyway, have you seen any Choko Coronets?"

"No, and that's good, because that would not be a healthy breakfast. Let's try the Finnish cuisine now that we have a chance," Kagami said, and looked at the buffet with suspicion.

"I don't think this is Finnish cuisine as such. It's just a typical hotel breakfast," Miyuki explained. "You are supposed make a sandwich. Take a slice of bread, spread butter on it, and place a selection of toppings on it. Then there's fried bacon, eggs, both fried and boiled, yoghurt, cereals, and so on," she added, pointing at the tables. "And coffee, of course, because this is Finland."

"What? So there's no miso soup or rice? At all?" Tsukasa gasped. "I'm getting homesick …"

"There's oatmeal. That is what they eat instead of rice porridge," Miyuki suggested. "Those are slices of pickled cucumber, if you crave for pickled things. Then –"

"Hold on, Yuki-chan! Could you tell me again how to make a sandwich? I have always wanted to try that," Tsukasa interrupted.

Miyuki gave the others a short lesson of the art of sandwich building. Soon enough, they were heading towards a table, with trays full of food.

"Mm, good!" Konata said appreciatively. "It's like … a hamburger."

"This oatmeal tastes really bland …" Tsukasa sighed. She took the mayonnaise bottle they had found, and squirted a generous amount of it onto the porridge. The three other girls stopped eating, and looked at her.

Tsukasa put a spoonful into her mouth. Her eyes opened wide, and she discreetly spat the mouthful back onto the plate.

"Tsukasa, why would you think that that would be edible?" Kagami said.

"But Yuki-chan said this was like rice porridge …" Tsukasa muttered, and wiped her mouth with a tissue.

"Sorry, Tsukasa-san, I just said that they eat it instead of rice porridge. I think they put butter into it, not mayonnaise," Miyuki explained.

"Anyway, this guidebook has a section about Finnish cuisine. They use rye, barley, and oats instead of rice, often in the form of bread or porridge. Milk and its derivatives are also used a lot. Some of the most traditional foods include meat-filled cabbage rolls, smoked salmon and other types of fish, pea soup, mashed potato, and meatballs," Miyuki lectured. "The local specialties include pastries, blood sausage, and ma … maem … I can't pronounce it, but it's some sort of dark, sugary sludge – look at this picture!"

Miyuki showed the book page to the others. Kagami wrinkled her nose, Tsukasa took a deep breath and looked away, and Konata roared, "Ha ha! It looks just like sh–"

"Stop!" Kagami yelled. "Don't say it! We are trying to eat, for heaven's sake! Miyuki, please, put that book away."

After a moment, Tsukasa's eyes widened. "Yuki-chan, did you say … blood … sausage …?" she gasped. "Eww!"

Kagami sighed. "I think I lost my appetite."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Is the place far, Yuki-chan?" Tsukasa asked. They had checked out and were waiting for the bus.

"Well, it's nearly a hundred miles away," Miyuki said. "But the timetable says it takes just two and a half hours to get there."

"That's weird," Kagami said.

"So it's a Finnish ranch. Isn't that boring? I would have rather stayed in this town. Maybe there had been penny arcades and stuff," Konata muttered.

"Konata, remember that the games would be in Finnish or English," Kagami reminded her.

"Oh."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Tsukasa opened her eyes and yawned. Through her squinted eyes, she saw a flock of ostriches prancing around the pasture. A little further away, a herd of buffalos was grazing on the fresh spring graminoids.

"Sis! Sis! Wake up! We drove too far!" Tsukasa yelled.

"Tsukasa, I am wide awake. We are almost there. Yes, they have ostriches and buffalos at this ranch. Miyuki said they also have wild boars."

"Oh. That's amazing!"

"It's like FarmV**le!" Konata exclaimed.

"Uh … don't tell me you play that," Kagami said. "I can't understand how you find the time for all that gaming."

"No, I haven't been able to play at all lately. You take too much of my time," Konata explained, and caressed Kagami's cheek with her palm.

Kagami pinched the back of Konata's hand and pulled it away. "Not in public, Konata," she whispered.

"Come on, Kagamin … this is Finland. Nobody would care, even if we ripped our clothes off right now and –"

"I'm fairly sure that that would be too much, even in here," Kagami said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yech … what's that smell?" Tsukasa said, holding her nose.

"This is how farms smell, I think," Miyuki said.

The farmyard had several large buildings. Most of them were painted in earthy red color – red ocher, said Miyuki. There were several pens around the yard, and chicken's cackling could be heard from somewhere.

A middle-aged woman, dressed in well-worn clothes, skirt, and rubber boots, came out of the ranch house to greet them.

"This is our hostess … Unpronounceable-san," Miyuki explained, after they had talked a little. "She apologizes for her outlook, but she was going to shovel manure later."

"Ostrich?" Konata asked.

"No, cow. And if we wish to try milking, we came in just in time. She says there's a cow which come in late this morning."

"Sounds like Tsukasa," Kagami said.

Her sister glared at her, but she had a more urgent matter in mind. "Yuki-chan, could you ask her about a toilet …" Tsukasa whispered. She had to cross her legs already.

"She says it's there, behind that building," Miyuki explained.

Tsukasa dashed around the corner but came back almost immediately. "There's just a small wooden hovel there! And it smells bad!"

"Oh, she says that it is an outhouse."

"A what?"

"An outhouse, backhouse, or privy. There's a hole inside where you … umm, have your business."

"Oh! That's … better than at the hotel. At least it's not right next to the bath!" Tsukasa yelled, turned around, and dashed into the outhouse.

Next, the hostess showed them their rooms, which were in another wooden building on the yard. They were cute, if small – with Western country furniture, rag rugs on the floor, quilted bedcovers, checkered drapery, and spring flowers in a vase on the table.

"How cute! Do we need rest? Or do you want to try milking?" Miyuki asked.

"We got plenty of rest in the bus. And a glass of fresh, cold milk would be great!" Konata said, looking excited.

"Konata … bah, never mind. You'll find out soon enough," Kagami said.

They went into the barn. The smell of manure was even stronger here, but after a while, they got used to it.

There was a young woman washing buckets inside. She was dressed in overalls, and by the looks of her, she was the daughter of their hostess. She smiled, greeted the guests, and led them into the cow house.

"Wow, it's huge!" Tsukasa gasped, as they saw the cow.

"Yeah … it's even bigger than Miyuki," Konata muttered, staring at the udder.

Miyuki gasped and a rosy tint appeared on her cheeks.

Tsukasa was the first to sit down on the stool beside the cow. The milkmaid explained how the milking is done, and Miyuki translated.

"So, there are four of these things. Which one is strawberry milk?" Tsukasa asked.

"Tsukasa … are you serious?" Kagami said.

Tsukasa just grinned, and grabbed one of the cow's teats. "He he … it's warm! So, I pinch this end and then squeeze along it …" she muttered. A squirt of milk came out. "Hey, it works!"

Giggling to herself, Tsukasa continued milking. She even took another teat into her other hand, doubling the speed.

"Tsukasa-san, you are a natural," Miyuki said.

"Here's a glass. Let me have a taste!" Konata said, putting the glass out. The milkmaid took the bucket and poured milk into the glass.

Konata took a sip, and gasped, "Hey! Gross! This is warm!"

"Konata, how exactly would the cow make it colder?" Kagami groaned.

"Oh, that's right. Tastes okay, though."

"Right! It's my turn. Move over, Tsukasa-chan," Konata said, after finishing her glass.

"Wash your dirty little hands first, Konata," Kagami noted.

After washing, Konata sat onto the stool and started pulling the cow's teats.

"Izumi-san, pinch it from the top, then squeeze the milk out along it, like Tsukasa did," Miyuki advised her.

"Yeah! Got some!" Konata said, in triumph, when some milk squirted into the bucket.

Konata's expression turned thoughtful. She looked at Miyuki and the milkmaid, and asked, "Hey, do these ever get hard? Like Kagamin's?"

Unfortunately, Tsukasa was just taking a sip from her glass. The part of the milk she didn't inhale came out of her nose.

Even the cow turned its head and looked at Konata.

Kagami's face developed a completely new shade of red, possibly deeper than ever before.

Miyuki patted Tsukasa's back, as she coughed violently and tried to draw breath.

"What did your friend say?" the milkmaid asked.

Kagami yelled, "Don't!" at Miyuki, before she even opened her mouth.

"But, Kagami! I want to know!" Konata complained.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The dinner was served in the ranch house. In the lobby, Miyuki took her shoes off, and motioned for the others to do the same.

Konata sniffed the air. "Fish?"

"It's salmon, roasting at an open flame. In the fireplace, over there. She says it's almost ready," Miyuki explained.

The table of the great room seemed to be groaning with food.

Miyuki translated, as the hostess explained what everything was. "This dark bread is traditional Finnish rye bread – she says it's almost holy, to them it's what rice is to us. The soft, flat bread is made of wheat and potatoes. These pasties, called Karelian pies, have rye crust and are filled with rice porridge. There's butter, which you can spread over the bread and pasties, and use with the potatoes – they have both mashed and boiled ones. For those who don't care about the fish, that pot contains roasted meat, Karelian style, she says. There's both beef and wild boar in it. And these are pickled cucumbers, pickled beet root …" Miyuki had to draw breath before she could finish describing everything.

"Wow! Even Kagami won't go hungry after all this!" Konata yelled.

"Hey!" Kagami growled.

"She says all the others will also be eating with us, so that's why there's plenty."

Konata looked at everything with intense curiosity. "What's the stuff in the pitcher?"

"She says it's … sati! No, sa-AH-ti. It's some sort of beer, if I understood," Miyuki said.

Konata smelled the pitcher carefully. "Weird. It smells like bananas. Is it made of bananas?"

"No, malted barley. In those pitchers there's cold milk and spring water. She says we're having coffee and Finnish p-p-p-p-?" Miyuki couldn't pronounce the word, "… uhh, sweet dessert bread or buns as a dessert."

"_Itadakimasu!" _Konata yelled, and poured the banana-smelling beer into her glass.

The others looked at her, then at the Finnish people, but the latter didn't seem to mind.

"They don't say blessings or anything?" Tsukasa whispered.

"I'll ask about it, I hope it's okay," Miyuki whispered back.

"They say they are Lutheran Christians, and saying blessings is not required," Miyuki explained, after talking some more English with the hostess.

"Oh, wow! This is weird stuff!" Konata yelled, after tasting the "sahti".

"Izumi-san, it has alcohol, so don't drink too much," Miyuki adviced.

"He he … Kagami, you should take some too – remember what happened at the hotel when we drank the complimentary champagne?" Konata said, and nudged Kagami.

"Oh? What happened, sis?" Tsukasa asked, but when she saw Kagami blushing, she added, "… umm, right …", and blushed as well.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Late next afternoon, they were walking along the path to lake shore, carrying towels, bathrobes, shampoo, and other essentials in their washtubs. The hostess was carrying a large picnic basket, which she said contained a traditional Finnish sauna meal and drinks. The sun was shining and countless birds were singing for spring.

"Those little piggies were sooo cute!" Tsukasa chirped.

"I hope none of them were boars," Miyuki said, looking a bit sad.

"Why, Yuki-chan?"

"Because male pigs are always castrated –"

"Eww! Yuki-chan! Sometimes you really know too much!" Tsukasa yelled, interrupting Miyuki before she described in detail _how_ they are castrated.

After calming down for a while, Tsukasa said, "Anyway, what a great weather. It's so warm …"

"Our hostess says that we are very fortunate to have weather like this. It's unusual at this time of the year," Miyuki explained.

"Look, the sauna is on fire!" Konata gasped, as they came out of the woods and saw the wooden building.

"Izumi-san, this sauna is wood-heated, so naturally there's smoke coming out of the chimney," Miyuki explained.

"Do we know how to use this one? I mean, the sauna we know is electric …" Tsukasa muttered.

"It's basically the same, you throw water on the stones and get steam," Miyuki said.

Behind the sauna, a pier extended into the lake. Most of the lake ice had melted; just some of it was remaining on the more shadowed parts of the opposite shore.

"The hostess said that when the heat gets unbearable, we should run along that pier and dive into the water. It's deep at the end of the pier, so it's safe to dive," Miyuki said.

"What, isn't there a bath? And … I didn't bring a swimsuit," Tsukasa said.

"Me neither," both Kagami and Konata said.

Miyuki asked a few questions, and said, "The hostess says that it's perfectly fine to go naked."

"But what if some perv is watching us!" Konata said.

Kagami looked around, and said, "This is in the middle of nowhere. Nobody will be watching …"

She glared at Konata, "Expect the one perv we all know."

"Hey! Who wouldn't watch Boin … I mean Yuki-chan! Nobody could resist that! There's nothing perverted in it!" Konata exclaimed.

"So I'm so ugly and flat-chested that you can't stand watching me!" Kagami growled.

Konata giggled. "Kagamin, I'll watch you if you want it so much …"

"So nobody is watching me ..." Tsukasa muttered, looking a bit hurt.

"I can watch you, Tsukasa-san," Miyuki said, and smiled.

"Konata really is contagious," Kagami sighed.

"But who is Kagami going to watch?" Konata said.

"I'll keep my eyes closed!"

They entered the changing room and saw bundles of birch branches soaking in a large washtub full of hot water.

"Mm, smells nice!" Konata said, sniffing the air.

Miyuki translated the hostess's explanation, "So these are the … _bita_ … or _basuta_ … they are used for whipping ourselves gently, which cleans the pores and improves circulation. And there's hot water in the sauna, we can wash ourselves there."

The hostess arranged the contents of the basket on the porch table. There was a pitcher of _sahti_ and another of water, some tomatoes and other vegetables, plates, forks, knives, glasses, and large sausages, which she wrapped into aluminum foil. The four girls looked with curiosity as she entered the sauna and placed the sausage wrap onto the hot stove.

"She says this is a traditional way to prepare sauna sausages," Miyuki explained. "And there are potatoes roasting inside the fireplace, which she placed there earlier."

"Hey, that's like roasted sweet potato!" Konata noted.

Their hostess started to remove her clothes without missing a beat. They stared at her for a moment, and started undressing too.

Fifteen minutes later, Konata dashed out of the sauna, closely followed by hesitant Kagami. "Konata, I don't want to race with you!"

"Last one in the water is a rotten egg!" Konata yelled, and clumped along the pier, threw herself into the air, and landed into the water with a huge splash.

The scream could probably be heard miles away.

"Konata, didn't you see that this lake is still partially ice-covered …" Kagami said, as she offered her hand to help trembling Konata out of the water.

Their hostess walked past them and dived into the water, just smiling at them as she resurfaced.

"I think the Finns are craftier than they look," Kagami muttered.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"So we are going by train?" Tsukasa asked.

"Yes. Lapland is really long way away. First, we take the train to … that place … it takes twelve hours from … this city," Miyuki explained, not even trying to pronounce "Kemijärvi" or "Tampere".

"That sounds boring," Konata said. "Ah well, I have a couple of games I've been saving for the hand console."

"No, no. We are traveling in a sleeping car overnight. We got two cabins, with two beds each," Miyuki said.

"Kagami –" Konata said, but Kagami interrupted her. "Yeah, yeah. I guess what you were going to say. Yes, we can sleep in the same cabin."

"Anyway, the trip doesn't end there. We need to travel further North by bus," Miyuki added.

"What, how big is this country anyway?" Tsukasa asked.

"Our first destination is a skiing center, and it's almost 600 miles from here. The second place we are visiting is … up there in the very North, and it's over 200 miles further."

"Skiing? How's that possible?" Konata asked.

"It is. I looked it up on the Internet and there's plenty of snow there," Miyuki said. "I also reserved all the tickets over the net."

"You are turning into a Finn!" Konata yelled. "Soon you will be drinking liquor straight and wrestling with polar bears!"

"Umm, Izumi-san, about polar bears … I'm afraid the cosplayer girl was pulling our leg. There are no polar bears anywhere near or within Finland, at all."

"Bah."

"There are brown bears, but I don't believe bear wrestling is a national pastime in here," Miyuki noted.

"… but reindeer biting is!" Konata exclaimed.

"What?" the others gasped.

"Yeah, it is! I finally chatted with our hostess in English. She told me that Lapland is famous for reindeer biting!"

"Did she really say, 'biting'? Not 'baiting'? … However, both sound like cruelty to animals," Kagami said.

"Well, I didn't understand most of what she said. I guess we will find out when we go to Lapland," Konata concluded the discussion.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"But, Kona-chan, I want to sleep with sis this time!" Tsukasa declared again, stomping her foot.

They were in the train. Kagami was already in one of the cabins and Konata and Tsukasa were fighting at the door, both trying to get in there.

"Konata, you can survive one night without me," Kagami said. "Let sis sleep here."

"Well, all right, then! But I can't guarantee what happens if I'm locked into the same room with Yuki-chan …" Konata added, smiling slyly.

"You'd better not do anything!" Kagami yelled. "I would – wait a minute … you are kidding?"

"Kagamin is so cute when she gets jealous!" Konata said, and laughed.

Kagami sighed.

"Oh, there are two separate beds in these cabins," Tsukasa said. "I had hoped for a double bed."

"Naughty Tsukasa, you'd better not do anything! I would kill you!" Konata yelled, pretending to be angry.

"You both are such kids!" Kagami groaned. Tsukasa looked a bit hurt.

"Anyway, it's still early. Let's sit in this cabin together and taste those snacks we bought," Miyuki suggested.

"What are all these things Kona-chan and Yuki-chan bought?" Tsukasa asked.

"Well, this one had the word 'wasabi', so I just had to take it!" Konata said, lifting a small pouch.

"I think they are wasabi-flavored nuts," Miyuki said.

"Weird. And … lemonade, potato chips, chocolate, and … brown sugary things?" Kagami said.

"Oh, those. They are kind of Finnish jelly doughnuts. Deep-fried sweetbread, coated with sugar, and filled with jam," Miyuki explained. "Their version of _anpan_."

"Uh … I think I'll only take a half," Kagami muttered.

"And I have an extra surprise treat!" Konata announced, and pulled a paper bag from her handbag.

She opened the bag, revealing that it was in fact made of foil, and contained two pieces of black sausage. They smelled weird, a bit like liver casserole, but the aroma made their mouths water.

"What the heck is that?" Kagami said, poking at one of the things with her fingertip.

"This is _masutamakara_!" Konata exclaimed.

"What?"

"Blood sausage! Miyuki told us about it earlier. There was a kiosk selling it at the station."

Tsukasa yelped. "Eww, blood! … however …" she added, broke a little piece of the sausage, and put it into her mouth, while the others watched.

"Mm! It's not bad, actually. It's like … like …"

The others waited for her to continue.

"… I can't describe it."

"Since Tsukasa-chan lives, I guess we can have a taste too," Konata said.

"Eating blood … " Kagami said, looking hesitant.

"Well, it's not taboo food here. I myself find the casing a bit disagreeable," Miyuki explained.

"What?"

"Sausage casing. It's made of intestines."

"Eww!" the others screamed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yuki-chan, look!" Konata yelled.

"White … it's all white …" Miyuki said in a sleepy voice. It was about 7 am in the morning.

"Yeah, it's winter again!"

Miyuki put on her glasses, and looked at the scenery going by, and said, "Not really. The snow just hasn't melted yet, because we are now in the Northern Finland. And it's still two hours before we reach the destination …" her speech ended up in a big yawn.

"Darn. I'm wide awake! What am I supposed to do for two hours?" Konata asked.

"Sorry, Izumi-san … I can't wake up yet …" Miyuki sighed, took off her glasses, and fell asleep again.

Konata sighed and jumped off the bed.

"Brr, it's cold in here!" she muttered. Miyuki looked warm and soft, and for a moment she was tempted to join her.

"Kagami would be upset. So, there's only one possibility!"

She sneaked out of the door, into Kagami's cabin, and climbed into the same bed with her.

A few minutes later, Tsukasa stirred and shivered. "Sis, I'm cold … can I come into your bed?" she asked, barely even awake. Not really waiting for an answer, she climbed to Kagami's bed.

"Sis, you are taking lot of room …" she muttered, pulled some of the covers over her and pushed herself against her sister's side, or so she thought.

An hour later, Kagami woke up, because she was freezing. She saw that Tsukasa and Konata were cuddling close together in the same bed with her, and they were hoarding all her covers.

Kagami just smiled at them, and moved into Tsukasa's bed, hoping to catch some more sleep.

Twenty minutes before the scheduled arrival, Kagami got up, yelled and banged a metal spoon against a tray, making a terrible noise.

"Konata! Sis! How could you two betray me like this?" Kagami screamed, in a weepy voice.

The two "traitors" panicked, and almost fell off the bed.

"I thought it was you!" Konata and Tsukasa yelled in chorus.

Kagami was laughing at them mercilessly.

"That was mean!" Tsukasa complained, when she was able to speak again.

Konata got off the bed, rubbed her eyes, stretched her arms, cleared her throat, and said, "But I wonder … what it would be like, with both of you?"

This time, Kagami wouldn't be distracted, so she just asked, "Do you mean one by one, or all three together?" and winked an eye at her sister.

"Sis!" Tsukasa yelled.

Konata laughed, and said, "But we couldn't leave poor Yuki-chan out! Foursome!"

"Kona-chan!" Tsukasa gasped.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"It's just one reindeer's pee to the place," Miyuki said. They were sitting in a bus, which was driving on a winding road through the snowy hills.

Konata roared with laughter.

Tsukasa spluttered and asked, "Yuki-chan, what did you just say?"

"Reindeer's pee, or _poronkusema_ in Finnish. It's a unit of distance, about five miles," Miyuki explained. "You see, reindeer cannot urinate while they are running, so they have to be stopped at regular intervals. Otherwise the reindeer would be paralyzed."

"Yuki-chan, don't you find that funny at all?" Konata asked.

"Yes, of course I do," Miyuki answered, smiling only slightly. "If the reindeer is indeed paralyzed this way, there's still a way to revive it. The owner must –"

"Stop, I feel that this goes to the category of 'knowing too much'," Kagami said.

"So … I guess you don't want to hear about reindeer biting either. I found out what it was. Remember those little male pigs? The same is done to some reindeer bucks, and reindeer biting means –"

"No! No! We don't want to hear!" Tsukasa yelled, and covered her ears. Suddenly, her eyes widened in horror. She took her palms off her ears and said, "Yuki-chan … does Santa Claus do that to his reindeer?"

"Eww! Both of you, shut up!" Kagami yelled, while Konata just laughed again.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The skiing center was packed with tourists, because of the great snow conditions and weather.

"So where's Konata?" Kagami asked. "She just ran away and I had to carry all her luggage here …"

Sighing, she dropped Konata's bags on the floor. The place where they would be staying was a log cabin, but it had all the modern conveniences.

"No bath … but I didn't expect that," Tsukasa sighed, as she looked into the bathroom. "And the toilet is again in the same room as the shower."

"When in Rome …" Kagami started, but failed to continue.

"… do as Romans do," Miyuki concluded the proverb. "I think Izumi-san got that slightly wrong earlier."

There was a knock on the door.

"Now who could that be?" Kagami said, and opened the door.

What she saw looked like a Laplander child staring back at her with emerald eyes. The kid was dressed in full Lappish outfit: a blue jacket with colorful embroidery, reindeer skin pants and gloves, reindeer fur boots with hooked tips, and a four-cornered, colorful hat. The blue hair flowing down her back matched the colors perfectly.

"K-k-" Kagami said, but the words got stuck into her throat.

"Kona-chan? What – how – you –" Tsukasa was equally speechless.

"Izumi-san, where did you get that dress? It looks like an authentic Samí costume … but …" Miyuki said.

"The dinner is on me. Or actually, on the lady who owns this place," Konata explained.

"Explain!" Kagami gasped. The dress wasn't as shocking for her as the nurse outfit, but Konata still looked unbearably cute.

"They made me wear this for some reason," Konata explained, which didn't explain anything.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, but. A horde of excited natives just surrounded me, took me away and next moment I was given this thing to wear. Apparently they had a spare costume which was too small for anyone else. And then, the lady said that dinner is on her," Konata said.

"Izumi-san, there's just one thing …" Miyuki said, but hesitated.

"Oh, what is it? Is there something wrong with this dress?" Konata asked, and twirled around.

"Not really. But that's a boy's dress."

"What? I'm insulted! How could they do that? How could they think I was a boy?" Konata said. It was one of the rare moments when Konata blushed. She glared at Kagami, who tried not to laugh.

"You don't want me to say it, do you, Konata?" Kagami said.

"No!" Konata yelled, sat on her bed and sulked.

Kagami walked up to her, patted her on the shoulder, and whispered, "Don't mind. You look very cute … and I think your chest isn't _quite_ as flat as before."

"And you said it anyway!" Konata groaned.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Late afternoon, the girls were heading to the piste, carrying long skis and ski poles.

"Why are you still wearing that outfit?" Kagami asked.

"I thought that this is like a part-time job. When the tourists see me, they will call all their friends and they get lots of new customers!" Konata exclaimed.

"I don't think so …" Kagami muttered.

But, as they walked through the area Konata did attract a lot of attention.

"I knew there was a demand for me in this outfit!" Konata announced.

"Yeah, yeah …" Kagami sighed.

"So … are you sure this isn't slalom or downhill?" Tsukasa asked. "I couldn't do either! I'm afraid of steep slopes…"

"No, don't worry. This is mostly on level ground," Konata said. "Trust me, I'm an expert!"

"How could you be – no, don't say it! I can guess. You played a sport game or read some sports manga?" Kagami asked rhetorically. Konata just grinned.

"Oh, what's the lady doing over there?" Miyuki said, and pointed at the cooking area. Under the canopy, the owner was indeed doing something at a table. A fire had been lit nearby.

They went closer and let Miyuki do the talking, as usual.

"Oh, she says she's preparing dinner. It's a special treat, just for us. The meat was frozen earlier so that it could be sliced really thinly," Miyuki interpreted.

"Genghis Khan?" Tsukasa suggested.

"Can't be, there's no grill, just a pot over that fire. Some kind of stew?" Konata said.

"Yes, it's some kind of roast or stew … she says it will take two hours to make, though," Miyuki added, after talking some more gibberish – as Konata usually described English – with the woman. "So we got plenty of time to try skiing – oh, and she also says that Izumi-san looks very cute in that dress."

"So demand for me is not limited to males," Konata said, and looked at Kagami.

"Yes, yes. I … know. Enough of that already. Let's try that skiing thing?"

They found the skiing trail and started to put on the skis. As if she had been doing this all her life, Konata moved onto the trail and pushed herself into motion.

"Whee! You can go really fast with these!" she yelled, going fifty yards ahead already.

Tsukasa stood up and tried to stand on the skis, but slipped and fell on her bottom, yelping "Ouch!"

Miyuki offered a helping hand, but Tsukasa only managed to pull Miyuki on top of herself, and getting both of their limbs, ski poles, and skis entangled.

"Come on, it's not that hard," Kagami said. However, her skis just slipped back when she kicked with her feet, and she barely moved at all. "Huh?"

"Konata! Come back and show us how you do it!" Kagami shouted.

Like an expert, Konata turned her skis quickly and came back – but she failed to stop and slid past them along the trail, which was sloping down at this point. Kagami moved out of the way just in time. "Where are the brakes?" Konata shouted.

"Maybe you should use the ski poles to stop!" Kagami shouted.

Konata put one of the ski poles in front of her, and pushed it into the snow. It did stop her, abruptly, which also threw her off the trail and into the snow drift beside it.

After fifteen minutes of practice, they were all skiing, more or less effectively.

"This isn't so hard after all. Maybe we should try water skiing at home?" Tsukasa suggested.

"Tsukasa-san, I'm afraid water skiing is very different from this sport," Miyuki said.

"Oh."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Anyway, outdoors cooking is great! It makes the food taste even better!" Konata announced.

They had returned from the skiing expedition, having skied around the entire trail – the one that was two miles long.

Tsukasa took a large slice of the meat and started chewing it. "This tastes … strong. Like grilled tongue, or … horse!" Tsukasa said.

"Tsukasa, didn't you hear what Miyuki said? This is reindeer," Kagami said.

Tsukasa almost literally turned green. She spluttered, spat out everything she had in her mouth, and dashed towards the outhouse.

"Oh. She still thinks of poor Rudolph," Konata noted.

"Don't say that … it makes me feel bad too," Kagami said, but she chewed the meat without looking ill at all.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Konata startled the entire bus by suddenly making a high-pitched, wailing noise. They were again in a bus, headed even further North.

"Konata! Shut up! What are you doing? I was trying to sleep!" Kagami yelled, and pushed her palm on Konata's mouth.

"Yodeling! I mean, yoiking! Or whatever that was called?"

"Izumi-san, you mean the Lappish singing, or _yoik_. I don't think that sounded quite correct, though," Miyuki said.

"Why did you have to start yoiking just now!" Kagami groaned. "In a bus!"

Tsukasa was laughing so hard that she had to wipe tears off her eyes. "I think it sounded like reindeer biting! I mean, like the noise a reindeer makes when –"

Konata and Miyuki both burst into laughter. Kagami tried to hold it down, but couldn't stop herself from guffawing madly.

After they had calmed down, Kagami said, "It seems you woke us up just in time. We should be there soon. Too bad there's all this fog. Can't see a thing…"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

In the morning, the fog had dispersed. It looked like it would be a sunny spring day. Now they could also see all the scenery. They were in a deep valley, several miles long and wide, with a long, frozen lake in its bottom. Snow-capped mountains could be seen to the north and west. Right behind the hotel was a very tall, steep hill, which turned into two or three hundred feet tall vertical cliffs high above them.

"Look at those cliffs! I wonder what it is called," Konata muttered.

"Saana," Miyuki said.

"Why, Yuki-chan? Where to?" Tsukasa asked.

"No, Saana is the name of that mountain," Miyuki explained. "It's over one kilometer tall, from the sea level, that is. It's the tallest mountain of Finland, measured from its surroundings."

Miyuki was reading the guidebook she had bought. "Hey, we could climb Saana. There's an easy path to the top."

"Sounds tiresome. You go, I'll just stay in the room and play –" Konata was interrupted. "No, the exercise will do you good," Kagami said.

Grinning slyly, she added, "I think _you_ have gained weight during this trip, Konata!"

"No way!" Konata gasped, and actually blushed.

Kagami laughed mercilessly. "Well, now you know how that feels."

"It can't be! Tsukasa-chan, Yuki-chan, tell me I'm still lean and mean!" Konata yelled, and pulled her shirt up, exposing her tummy.

"Kona-chan, I think …" Tsukasa approached her, and pinched Konata's stomach. "… yep, it's true! You have gained weight."

"I'll race you to the top!" Konata shouted, and started running.

"Wait, wait! You can't climb there wearing slippers," Kagami shouted.

"You are running in the wrong direction, Izumi-san," Miyuki added.

"It might be cold up there, maybe we should dress properly," Tsukasa noted.

Konata stopped, turned around, and gasped, "Hey, since when we had three _tsukkomi _in this party?"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The climb was easy, but it seemed to take much longer than they had expected. While most of the ground was bare, there were still areas of ice and snow in the parts of the path that were in the shadow.

"That took ages … but I guess we shouldn't turn back now. I think that pile of rocks up there marks the top of this mountain," Kagami said.

Finally, they were on the top, and slumped down beside the pile of rocks. The sun was still shining.

"Hey, guys!" Miyuki gasped. "It's midnight!"

"What?" the others yelled, and took out their cell phones.

"No, it's … seven o'clock at the morning?" Konata said, and scratched her head.

"Izumi-san, your phone is still in Tokyo time. Local time is seven hours earlier," Miyuki noted.

"Oh, of course … but then, it is midnight! How come the sun is still shining?"

"That's because we are so far North. The days are already getting longer, and we are over a kilometer above sea level – so, in here, the sun doesn't go below the horizon at all," Miyuki explained.

"Cool! Or, warm, rather!" Konata exclaimed.

They lied down on their backs and enjoyed the relatively mild warmth of the midnight sun.

Kagami opened her eyes when she heard Konata kneeling down beside her.

"Look what I got. Mistletoe! I found it on the way," Konata said, waving the sprig at Kagami's face.

"What? No, that can't be mistletoe!"

"Kagamin … why not? We haven't kissed for a long time …" Konata cooed, and moved closer.

"We kissed just this morning!" Kagami said.

"Yeah, so it was a long time ago!"

Kagami chuckled. "All right, then. It's not like I don't like to kiss you … and take that twig off my face! … but this is a public place and …"

"Tsk, tsk. In this country, everyone kisses in public!"

"I don't think – mmph!" Kagami was interrupted by Konata's lips, and forgot about what she was about to say.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

They were walking down the path again.

Miyuki approached Tsukasa, holding the 'mistletoe', and said, "Excuse me, Tsukasa-san, I borrowed Konata's mistletoe … so, maybe we could too, umm …"

"Of course, Yuki-chan!" Tsukasa said, smiling happily. She pecked Miyuki on the lips.

Miyuki smiled, and said, "Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you – this is not mistletoe. It's a sprig of _Empetrum nigrum,_ crowberry. But of course, the berries are raw at this time of the year."

Kagami laughed, and said, "Miyuki, you forgot that – until now?"

"Our Yuki-chan has an evil side!" Konata declared.

* * *

Konata's information of Finland is from anime and games. Mine is from Wikipedia (… or maybe from being a native Finn (°∀°))

The thing with the metal detector has happened to me. But the reason was a piece of aluminum foil in my pocket. At that time I was just trying to visit the secure area, not to fly anywhere.

Current president, Tarja Halonen, as a queen (n_n) – that would take way too long to explain. Of Esko Aho: _Esuko_ is a girl's name in Japan, while _Aho_ means 'idiot'.

A hint: don't buy a reindeer skin as a souvenir, unless you use it for sleigh rides or winter camping. Your home will drown in 5-inch long hairs. The fur comes off.

"Raitis, autoileva pukki, palamaton parta" – "Sober, car-driving Santa, fireproof beard" is an old Christmas time joke. In Finland, you can hire a Santa who comes to your home at Christmas Eve and brings the gifts, to the delight, or terror, of the kids. Some of the hired Santa can't do this job sober :)

The shopping mall they were is _Kamppi_, one of the newest and fanciest in Helsinki. The bus station is in its basement. Bumping into a street full of cosplayers is exactly what happened to me once! And yes, they were J-rock fans. Or J-pop. Can't really remember. That was during summer, though, and it was over 30 degrees Celcius. Some of them looked rather uncomfortable. ('¬_¬)

Yeah, I know. Ninjas didn't really use black costumes, their origin is elsewhere. In ninja movies they tend to use the black costumes even in broad daylight, which is hilarious.

The girl behaves just like a Finn; she belittles her Japanese. In fact, Japanese and Finnish people have a surprisingly similar mindset. Oh, and don't believe what she says about polar bears. (¯◡◡¯·)

Phrases like _"Anata wa kirei desu"_ and _"Pantsu garu?"_ tend to be known by Finnish otaku (¬_¬')…

"_I am going to bang you until your ancestors beg for mercy" _is from a hilarious Marimite "motiovational poster".

The hotel is based on "Hotel Kämp", it's not quite similar, though. The amusement park is "Linnanmäki", the oldest one in Finland. I think it's, like twenty years I went there the last time, so my memories could be a bit off…

The brown sludge is "mämmi".

Finnish TV does have all those Japanese shows, anime, and whatnot. But never sumo wrestling, so what they saw first was indeed a commercial sports channel.

In Finland, at springtime, you actually could have a summer-like weather in the South, and yet there would be more than enough snow in the North for skiing. It's not common, though. I think it didn't happen in 2008, but, this is fiction.

There are indeed ostrich, buffalo, and wild boar ranches. However, there's not any single ranch or even neighboring ranches that would have _all_ of those. So the ranch is sort of a combination of many places in Finland.

_Saa na_ in Japanese means "come, now!". (No, not like that, you little pervs! :) Yes, I have climbed Saana.

Their trip lasted about two weeks and went something like this: flight from Narita, Tokyo to Helsinki, 2 days in Helsinki, bus to a fictional ranch somewhere near Tampere (2-4 days there), car to Tampere, train to Kemijärvi (overnight in a sleeping car), bus to a fictional skiing center (2 days there), bus to Kilpisjärvi (2 days there), bus to Inari (2 days there; I didn't write about this part but there's a Samí museum and other interesting things to see), bus to Ivalo, flight from Ivalo to Helsinki, 2 days in Helsinki, and finally, flight back to Japan. This trip took place in May and is entirely fictional. Don't base your vacation plans on this story! :D


	4. So How Was Your Vacation Then?

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 4: So how was your vacation then?**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

EDIT: didn't plant to edit this at all, fixed a couple of little things. Inori referred to Sōjirō, that's why she said Izumi-san. But they didn't really meet Sōjirō in Okinawa (just got taken pictures of by him). There was some other thing I fixed, can't remember what it was. I should have written a bit more about what happened in Hokkaido – Misao and Ayano had already been there a week together, and that's why the end seemed a bit out of place.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"We're home!" Tsukasa yelled. They and their entire luggage were at the door of the Hiiragi house.

"Oh. You are back already?" Matsuri said, looking indifferent.

"Sis! You are all tanned! … Aren't you happy to see your little sisters?" Tsukasa said, her smile turning sour.

Matsuri laughed. "I was just teasing you. And, Miyuki and Konata? I got more little sisters?"

"I invited them here, since both of their families are away. Besides, some of the souvenirs are somewhere within Konata's luggage," Kagami explained. She looked at Matsuri. Somehow, her laughter had felt a bit … faked.

"Kagami asked me to sleep over tonight!" Konata announced.

Kagami glared at Konata, opened her mouth, but snapped it shut again instead of saying anything.

Matsuri tilted her head and looked at Kagami.

"What?"

"Nothing …" Matsuri muttered, shrugged her shoulders, and then shouted, "Hey everyone! Come downstairs! Kagami, Tsukasa, and souvenirs are here!"

"Mom!" Tsukasa gasped, and threw herself into her mother's arms.

"Did you get homesick, Tsukasa-chan?" Miki said.

"Yeah … a little …" Tsukasa whispered.

Kagami looked at her mother, then at Konata, then at her mother again.

"Wondering which one you'd rather hug?" Konata whispered.

"Yeah … I mean no!" Kagami said.

"So, which one?"

"Neither! I don't know! It's not the same!" Kagami groaned. Inori, who had just came in, and Matsuri looked at her.

"Did those two fight all the time?" Inori asked Tsukasa.

Tsukasa giggled. "About half the time … the other half of the time they –"

"Sis!" Kagami said, glaring at Tsukasa.

"… umm, they got along very well," Tsukasa concluded her sentence. Her family looked a bit puzzled.

"Come in, sit down, I'll make tea. I bet you didn't get any decent tea in there?" Miki said.

"Yeah, we didn't. They don't know anything about tea," Kagami said.

"Ah! Here it is!" Konata yelled, and pulled out an aluminum foil bag. _"Masutamakara!"_

"Izumi! That's gross! Why did you put that on our dining table? Why didn't you use the toilet in the airplane?" Matsuri yelled, as Konata opened the package.

"No, this is food. Blood sausage!" Konata explained.

"Food?" Matsuri and Inori gasped. "No way!"

"It's good!" Konata said, broke off a piece and put it into her mouth. Matsuri and Inori watched her in horror.

"Oh, and here's another thing we should eat today. It doesn't keep much longer," Konata added, and pulled out a box. _"Mämmi!"_ she exclaimed, opened the box and placed it on the table.

"Kona-chan, you learned how to pronounce it!" Tsukasa said, in admiration.

"Why does _all_ their food look like it has already been eaten once?" Matsuri shouted. "Mom! Take a look at these."

"Miki-san, could you also bring spoons, spray cream, and caster sugar, please!" Konata yelled.

"Eww! Gross!" Miki yelled as she saw the food.

"These were just the most exotic things over there," Kagami said. "Not all their food is like this."

"Yeah … but they … they eat reindeer!" Tsukasa said, looking slightly nauseous as she remembered the incident.

"And ostriches, buffalo, wild boar, and polar bears," Konata added. "And they drink sal ammoniac liqueur! I got a bottle of that for you as well."

"Not polar bears … brown bears," Kagami corrected.

Miyuki cleared her throat and explained what Finns really eat.

"We didn't just eat all the time! We did lots of other things too," Kagami noted.

"Yeah, we had lots and lots of fun! We went to sauna, learned how to ski, and climbed the highest mountain in Europe, and so on!" Tsukasa said.

"Tsukasa-san, it wasn't …" Miyuki started, but laughed. "… yeah, we had great fun."

"Yuki-chan, tell them all those things about reindeer! I want to see their faces!" Konata yelled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Konata pestered Miyuki so long that she told them "the things about reindeer", grossing the Hiiragi family out.

While Miyuki was lecturing, Konata dug out all the souvenirs they had gotten.

"And this is a reindeer hide! Good thing we didn't buy it the first time we saw these. This one was a lot cheaper!" Konata said, and pulled out a bundle of fur. Instantly, about twenty long, gray hair were floating in the air, and landing on their clothes, couch, and the living room table.

"Uh-oh … this bag is full of reindeer hair. Is it having a molt?" Konata said, picking up a handful of hair.

"I told you not to buy that mangy hide!" Kagami groaned, and took a sip of her tea. She spluttered, and picked two hairs out of her mouth. "That hair is everywhere! Konata, put that thing away!"

"No, it's a souvenir for you guys!" Konata said.

"No, it isn't! You decided that just now!" Kagami yelled.

Inori and Miki chuckled. "You sound like an old married couple," Miki said.

Both Konata and Kagami shut their mouths and blushed. Matsuri had a weird expression, but quickly wiped it off her face before anyone noticed.

"Hey, they also gave Kona-chan the lapdancer costume!" Tsukasa remembered.

"Laplander costume," Miyuki corrected.

"Yeah, that. It's really cute!"

"You'll see it later. Anyway, I got a text from Yu-chan. They are still in Okinawa," Konata said.

"Oh! Inori, Matsuri, you went to Okinawa too. How was it? Did you see them?" Kagami asked.

Matsuri's expression turned into a frown, for a little moment. Only Kagami noticed it, and took a puzzled look at her.

"Yes, we did. It turned out Yutaka-chan and the others were staying in a hotel nearby," Inori said.

"Mom sent me one text message as well, but she forgot to write anything on it," Miyuki said. "I hope mom and Izumi-san are having fun with Izumi … Yutaka-san and Iwasaki-san."

"Yuki-chan, wouldn't it be easier if you called everyone by their first name?" Konata said.

"Um … but I feel that's rude … or too intimate … Izumi-san," Miyuki said.

"Heh, in that case, you should at least call Tsukasa-chan Tsukasa-chan," Konata said, nudged Miyuki with her elbow, and winked an eye.

Matsuri glared at Konata, and yelled, "What the hell did you mean by that?"

Everyone's jaw dropped and they stared at Matsuri.

Matsuri looked around, forced a smile on her face, and said, "Sorry. I'm just a bit stressed … and I have a headache. I didn't mean it like that … I think I'm going to rest for a while."

Matsuri stood up and walked out.

"What's wrong with sis?" Kagami asked.

"I don't know … I think it started in Okinawa," Inori said, and shrugged her shoulders. "She's been acting weird ever since we came back."

After a moment of awkward silence, they started chatting again.

"So, dad, Yukari, Yu-chan, and Minami-chan are in Okinawa, Hiyori-chan and Patty-chan in USA …" Konata said, calculating with her fingers. "Did Misao and Ayano go somewhere? Hope they remember to bring souvenirs, unlike the older Hiiragi sisters."

"Hey!" Inori gasped. "Don't call me old! Besides, I brought souvenirs … but we ate them all," she added, looking a bit guilty.

"_Saataa andagii!"_ Konata exclaimed.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Inori asked.

"My vast knowledge comes from anime, manga, and games! Even Kagami admitted its might!" Konata announced.

"No, not really …" Kagami said. "Anyway, when I last met Misao and Ayano, they were planning to go to Hokkaido together."

"But, I wonder how Hiyori and Patty are doing in America?" Konata muttered.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

At that very moment, in San Francisco, Hiyori was holding her hands over her eyes. The area of her face which could be seen was blushing brighter red than ever.

Patricia was doubled over in laughter. "Come on, Hiyori-chan. Look, nobody else is embarrassed. This is art!"

"P-Patty-chan … I could never even imagine anything like this …" Hiyori gasped, peeking through her fingers.

"Yeah, isn't it great? Tom of Finland was one of the most influential creators of … _yaoi_," Patricia said, and laughed again.

"But it's so embarrassing. Your parents … took us to this exhibition … and they are watching these too …" Hiyori whispered.

"Oh, they have seen all this and much more. Don't you remember how thrilled they were about us being together?"

Hiyori did remember, indeed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Your parents didn't come to pick us up?" Hiyori asked. They had just arrived to USA, and were waiting for the bus at the airport.

"They are considering the environment. This bus will take us really close to our house, so they decided not to use the car," Patricia explained.

"Yeah, we've had some of that in our country too. Like, avoid using the A/C, and wear cool biz …" Hiyori's gaze turned dreamy.

"Here's your sketchbook and a pen. I guessed you would need them really soon," Patricia said.

"Cool biz! Cool biz!" Hiyori gasped, and started to scribble down sketches. "Maybe a school where the students wear … no, a workplace … a manga studio? Hey, a doujin about a circle, which is preparing for Comiket! Nobody's done that before!" Hiyori muttered, and wrote down the ideas as fast as she could.

Patricia laughed, and said, "I love you when you get inspiration … and I love you … in general …"

Hiyori didn't seem to listen – usually these words brought a flustered reaction, which Patricia enjoyed a lot. "You are so cute …" she sighed.

They had taken the bus and walked to Patricia's house.

"Your house is huge," Hiyori noted. "And everyone has a detached house. Are all Americans rich?"

"No, this is an ordinary middle class suburb."

"I'm so nervous …" Hiyori whispered. She looked around, and since there didn't seem to be anyone watching, she squeezed Patricia's hand.

Patricia burst into laughter and snatched Hiyori into a big hug. "Ready? Let's go!"

Patricia marched to the door and rang the doorbell.

A blond woman answered the door. Immediately, Patricia jumped onto her arms and they hugged. "Patty!"

"Mom!" Patricia shouted.

"This must be your little friend? – no, come in first. Dad is here too," Patricia's mother said, and beckoned for them to follow.

Instinctively, after they had entered the lobby, both Patricia and Hiyori took their shoes off. Patricia's mother and father looked puzzled.

"So. Hiyori, these are my mom and dad," Patricia said in Japanese, and then, in English, "Mom, dad, this is Hiyori Tamura, my girlfriend."

Hiyori understood the word 'girlfriend', and blushed. "Very pleased to see you," she stuttered in English, knelt down, and bowed all the way so that her forehead touched the floor.

Patricia put a hand on her mouth, trying not to burst into laughter.

Her parents looked at Hiyori, then at each other, and then both knelt on the floor as well and kowtowed at Hiyori.

"Oh no! What … what are they doing?" shocked Hiyori gasped.

"Hiyori-chan, they just thought that's the way to greet people. Mom, dad! And Hiyori, too. Stand up! That's not necessary," Patricia exclaimed.

"I'm sorry!" Hiyori said, after standing up, and, as another shock for her, she found herself embraced by both Patricia's mother and father simultaneously.

"We know Patricia loves you, Hiyori … chan, and so we love you too!" Patricia's mother said.

"Patty has told us everything about you! She talks about you all the time in her letters!" Patricia's father noted.

Hiyori was blushing brightly, but couldn't even push them away, because she thought that would have been rude.

"Guys, let her go. She's not used to hugging … except with me." Patricia said.

"Ah, I remember – you said the Japanese people don't touch each other at all," Patricia's mother said, and released Hiyori, who quickly took a couple of steps backwards.

"Yeah, it's sad," Patricia sighed. "I must try and educate them on this."

"We've got something to eat for you. It's nothing greasy and heavy – you said they eat mostly rice, fish, and vegetables," mother said.

"Yeah, but these days they even have burger joints. And youngsters are constantly snacking and drinking soda …" Patricia continued her lecture as they walked towards the kitchen.

Hiyori took great care of walking respectfully behind Patricia and her parents. Patricia noticed this, snatched her and pushed her ahead of them by her shoulders.

"Hiyori-chan, just relax. As long as you are here, this is your home. Literally. You say what you think and do whatever you like. Everything in here is as much yours as it is ours. We don't think we have a 'face' which you could lose. If you mess up or do something silly, just laugh at it, and let it go," Patricia whispered into her ear.

Hiyori relaxed a bit and smiled. "Thanks … I try to do as you say. I know it won't be easy ..."

They sat down at the table. While they ate, Hiyori and Patricia were bombarded with personal and intimate questions.

"How did you two meet?", "How did you fall in love?", "What kind of comics you draw, Hiyori-chan?", "You played truth or dare? Oh, wow. I remember that game. Tell us all the saucy details!"

Hiyori's face turned redder and redder, as Patricia shamelessly told them everything, only leaving out the things they had done in Patricia's bedroom.

"So, Tamura-san, do you think of yourself more as a _femme_ or a _butch_?" Patricia's father asked.

"She's very feminine. I'd say she looks like a _femme_!" Patricia's mother noted. "Not that I think you are particularly _butch_, Patty!" she quickly added, giggling a bit.

Patricia translated these lines to Hiyori. Although she started to feel as maybe all this was too much for her – Hiyori seemed to be on a brink of hyperventilation.

"Mom, dad, excuse us for a while. I think Hiyori-chan needs some rest now. The … trip was long and exhausting," Patricia said.

Her mother stood up. "Of course! I cleaned your room, and we bought a double bed for you and your girl … hm, are you sleeping together already? Or were you going to wait until marriage, or something?"

"Yeah, we do sleep together … no, I didn't mean right now," Patricia said, and giggled, while her mother grinned.

"Sadly, we won't be able to get married in Japan. All this is still somewhat of a taboo in there," Patricia explained, as she was leading Hiyori upstairs.

"I'll make sure you are not disturbed … just in case," mother said, and winked an eye before she closed the door.

"Do you need a drink or something?" Patricia asked, after her mother had left and she had translated the discussion.

"No, I just need to lie down for a while …" Hiyori whispered.

Patricia lied down beside her.

"Culture shock?"

"Yeah …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"It's so nice and quiet …" Yutaka said, but soon they started to hear noises.

"What's that sound, Yu-chan?" Minami asked.

"Uncle-san is taking pictures again," Yutaka said.

"Not of us, I hope …" Minami muttered, but at the moment she didn't care to look.

Because at the moment they were relaxing on a beach, in Okinawa, wearing swimsuits, and lying on a blanket, under a parasol which shaded them from the direct heat of the blazing sun.

Yutaka raised her sunglasses and looked behind them. "No, he's secretly trying to take pictures of those two young women over there … and Yukari-san just saw him doing it."

"Uh-oh," Minami said, still not bothering to move.

Yutaka giggled. "She doused uncle-san with her drink. I hope his camera wasn't ruined. He told me it was really expensive … oh!" Yutaka gasped. "Those two women are the Hiiragi sisters!"

She shouted, "Matsuri-san and Inori-san! Yahoo! Over here!"

"Oh, it's Konata's little cousin Yutaka, and … Minami?" Matsuri said. "We knew you were here, but we didn't think we would meet you."

"We are having a vacation too, but we leave tomorrow," Inori explained. "College is such a drag. At least we don't get summer homework."

"Inori, don't talk about school now. Let's try to find some … boys," Matsuri said, shaded her eyes and looked around the beach. But again, her heart was not into looking for boys. _"What's wrong with me … I don't know how to have fun anymore …"_ she thought, sighed, and turned around.

"I'm thirsty … I think I'll buy some beer …" she muttered, while walking away.

"Matsuri, you've been drinking almost every day …" Inori said, and ran after her.

Yutaka and Minami heard Yukari's voice, giving poor Sōjirō a proper scolding. Matsuri and Inori could be heard arguing with loud voices further away.

"It _was_ so nice and quiet …" Yutaka sighed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next afternoon, Matsuri and Inori were about to leave. They were waiting the bus for the airport on the hotel yard.

Lazily, Matsuri stretched her arms, and looked around for the last time. Suddenly, two persons on one of the balconies caught her eye.

She realized they were Yutaka and Minami. And they were embracing each other. And it was not a friendly hug. They were kissing each other. Passionately, slowly, deeply, on the lips.

Matsuri quickly turned around, and stared into the space.

"The bus is here. Sis, are you coming?" Inori asked.

"Yeah …" Matsuri whispered. Inori took a worried look at her, because she looked very pale.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Like an expert, Misao turned her skis sideways and made herself stop, spraying snow on Ayano. "Whee! Skiing all the way from the top is the best!" Misao shouted. "Leave that children's slope already, Ayano!"

Ayano patted snow off her coat, and said, "That big slope is so high and steep that it makes me dizzy. I would just fall and hurt myself."

"Nonsense! And even if you fall, the snow is soft!" Misao yelled. This wasn't entirely true – Misao had herself taken a fall higher up, and she had taken a few bruises from the icy ground.

"Come on! They said today might be the last chance to ski! The spring is coming, even here in Hokkaido, and this slope will melt soon!" Misao added.

"Oh, okay. I guess I have to try it once … if it is the last chance," Ayano muttered.

They turned their skis towards the ski lift.

Soon, they were standing at the top of the slope. Ayano was taking her time to gather her courage, and she saw Misao was getting bored. "Umm … the view is great," Ayano said.

"Yeah … but the speed and the thrill are even better!" Misao claimed.

Ayano shivered and sighed deeply. "O-okay … I think … I'm ready. Could you go down on me … with me! That would make me feel less scared …"

Misao was not familiar with the concept of Freudian slip, so she didn't get it. She just grinned, and yelled, "Sure! Go ahead! No matter how fast you go, I bet I will catch you with your panties down!"

Ayano was too nervous to hear this Freudian slip, not that she would have remembered the meaning of the term either. Neither did Misao realize what she had just said.

Cautiously, Ayano pushed herself forward with the ski poles. She started gaining speed. Frozen in fear, she forgot everything she had learned about skiing. So, she went straight downhill, into the notorious Black slope, the steepest of them all.

"Ayano!" Misao shouted, but Ayano had already disappeared beyond a mogul. "Aww-right! I accept the challenge!" Misao shouted, and pushed herself into the slope.

There was nobody else on this slope. It was indeed steep, and terrifying. Even Misao felt weak at her knees when she saw it. Ayano was already far away, just an orange dot against the white snow. Bracing herself, Misao took a tucked position and tried to catch up.

"What is she doing?" Misao gasped. Ayano was going straight towards the woods, instead of taking the gentle turn which would have kept herself on the slope.

Misao watched in horror, as Ayano hit a hump on the edge of the slope, and literally flew into the air, and straight into the forest. She could hear a sound of a few branches breaking.

"Ayano! Ayano!" Misao screamed. She felt an almost physical ache in her heart. Time seemed to slow down, and at this moment Misao realized how much she really cared for her best friend. She would have had all her own limbs broken before allowing any harm to befall on Ayano.

Grinding her teeth, she followed Ayano as fast as she could, but slowed down before being flung into the air herself. Using the ski poles, she pushed herself forward over the hump and into the woods, as fast as she could.

"Ayano!" she screamed, over and over again, but there was no response.

Behind the thicket there was a huge snowdrift, and two legs, with skis still attached, were sticking out of it.

"Ayano, are you okay?" she screamed, as she dug into the snow with her hands. Her vision was somehow blurred, so she wiped her eyes, and realized that they were full of tears.

There was a response, but it was muffled by the snow. Ayano waved with her legs in a way that seemed to suggest that she wasn't badly hurt.

The relief was so great that Misao almost threw up. At the same time, she started to laugh and guffaw.

Ayano's other hand was released and she pulled herself up. She looked relatively unharmed, when she finally got herself upright again.

"Oh, hi, Misa-chan. What's up?" she said, smiling stupidly, scratching her head. Her cap was missing, her eyes were squinted, there was melting snow on her red cheeks, and her nose was running. And to Misao, she had never looked as beautiful as now.

* * *

I was tempted to write "but we ate them all" in lol(cat)speak. It wouldn't have made any sense, because Inori is not a geek, like Konata…

_Saataa andagii_, known to everyone who's watched Azumanga Daioh. Along with such things as _chanpurū, siisaa, chinsukō_, and_ ukoncha!_ (°∀°)

Tom of Finland: I should warn you that his art is usually considered slightly NSFW.

Whoops. Misao and Ayano might be getting together after all. I was considering something else, but now I don't know… well, it's not over until the fat lady sings! (Hm, or petite lady? If the lady is Akira?)


	5. Hiiragis' Hierarchy of Needs

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 5: Hiiragis' Hierarchy of Needs**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

The plot thickens … if it could be called a plot …

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Kagami, first you had Konata staying here … and now you've been staying at her house for a week. What's up?" Kagami's mother Miki asked. It was late Sunday morning, and the Hiiragi family was having breakfast in the kitchen.

"Well, it wasn't that great a week … Konata had her period," Kagami said absent-mindedly, without raising her eyes from the newspaper.

Tsukasa let out a little yelp.

Everyone went silent and stared at Kagami. Slowly, she realized what she had just said.

"I … I just meant she was even more annoying and lazy than usual! … and … we prepare for college, and I help Kona-chan … because of the … uh … situation," Kagami corrected. That was actually true, but not the whole truth.

"You called her Kona-chan?" Inori said, looking a bit puzzled.

Miki noted, "Oh, you mean the thing with his father and Takara-san."

"Yeah. Kona-ch – Konata is quite preoccupied with all that and I … do her … assist her around the house," Kagami explained.

Tsukasa was just sipping her tea and spluttered some of it onto the tablecloth. Her mother gave her a tissue to clean it up. "Tsukasa-chan, you are not a child any more. You used to make a mess … it was kind of cute," Miki said, and giggled.

"Why do you have sleepovers so often? Hey, you've been sleeping there for an entire week! This is the first night you slept here, at home. You like sleeping with her?" Matsuri said.

Unfortunately Tsukasa had taken a bite off a toast and was just getting another sip of the tea. This time, she inhaled some of it, and started to cough violently. Others slapped her back until some tea until a piece of toast came out of her nose, and she was able to breathe again.

"Tsukasa, don't inhale your food like that. I don't want to be forced give you mouth-to-mouth …" Kagami said, stopped, and turned red. She had just remembered their Christmas party, and the mistletoe.

Matsuri looked at her, and was about to say something, but forgot about it as their mother asked, "So, why do you sleep over at Izumi's so much? Couldn't you just come back here?"

So the question had not been forgotten, as Kagami had hoped for. Her father, Tadao, had also just arrived to listen to the conversation, which added to her embarrassment.

"Umm … since I help with dinners and breakfasts and such, it would take too much time to come here just to sleep," Kagami explained.

"What? Since when did you learn to cook?" Inori asked.

"Hey, why don't you cook for us sometimes? I would like to see how much your cooking has improved," Matsuri said.

"No, I don't cook! I … I wash the dishes and clean up and such," Kagami explained. "And what's up with all these questions? I didn't expect the kind of Spanish Inquisition!"

"What?"

"That was just … you know how much obscure knowledge we had to learn at high school …" Kagami sighed.

Tsukasa coughed, and said enthusiastically, "Yeah! At least it's all over now, and we don't have to learn anything anymore!"

"Tsukasa!" her father and mother gasped. "That's not what a college student should say!"

"But college is a piece of cake! Matsuri always says so!" Tsukasa protested.

Matsuri, Tsukasa, and their parents all started talking at the same time.

Kagami had wished the conversation would end now, but she knew she had to tell her family eventually. Since she was embarrassed already, this would be as good a moment as any. She stood up and yelled, "Hey! Listen!"

Everyone went silent and looked at her.

"Mom, dad … Konata is getting an apartment of her own. My college is not far from that place, and it would be convenient if … so we thought that … umm … I mean, she and I … you know …"

Nobody seemed to "know". Not even Tsukasa – and she knew about it already. Kagami eyed her sister, hoping that she would at least have a clue and help her with this.

Kagami sighed. "I am moving in with Konata."

Matsuri blurted, "Cosplay all day along!"

Kagami glared at her big sister. Everyone just looked at her with their mouths open. Kagami sat down again.

Her mother roused first. "Oh. My little girl is moving away," Miki sighed. "That makes me sad …"

"Hm … that is convenient," Tadao said. "So how much is your share of the rent?"

"Kona-ch … Konata owns the place! Her father bought it for her, as a gift for making it into college. So there's no rent as such," Kagami said.

Tadao was all smiles. "That's _very_ convenient."

"But are you paying Konata rent? Or how are you going to compensate your stay?" Matsuri asked.

Tsukasa inhaled yet another sip of tea and fell off of her chair. Her mother rushed to help her.

"I will pay some rent to her," Kagami said, glaring at Tsukasa, "and half of the other expenses. Like, food, electricity, and the net connection."

Matsuri stared at her narrow-eyed, with a weird expression on her face. Kagami tried to ignore her and concentrated on the newspaper again.

_"And this week I'm having my period …"_ she thought, and sighed deeply.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"So … first night in our new home …" Kagami said. It was next Friday afternoon. They had just finished carrying in the last boxes. "… and college starts next week …"

"Yeah …" Konata said.

There was a long, awkward silence. Both felt slightly uneasy, maybe a bit afraid. How would they get along? Certainly, they had spent weeks together, but this was different. Living together, in the same apartment …

"Umm … I'm going to the grocery! What would you like to eat tonight?" Konata said.

Kagami didn't answer. Instead she stared at Konata wide-eyed, and turned as red as a tomato. A pile of books she had been arranging onto the shelves slid off of her hands.

"Kagamin!" Konata gasped, and giggled nervously. "Y-you … old geezer!"

"I didn't mean to think about that! It was an accident! You know we haven't been able to … do anything for two weeks now!" Kagami groaned. "I –"

She wiped her brow, took a deep breath, and her expression softened. She walked up to Konata and wrapped her hands around her.

"… You are just so cute that I couldn't help myself …" Kagami whispered.

"I love it when you turn all _deredere_."

"Yeah, yeah. Go to the store. Buy whatever you like to prepare for dinner. I'll keep myself ready … busy! There's a lot of stuff to arrange," Kagami said, and pecked Konata on the lips.

"Mmm! … maybe we should celebrate our first night living together with some _sashimi_? We can eat it off of each others' naked bodies."

"Oh yeah, we could eat … What? No! That's … who's the old geezer now? … I mean, sashimi is okay … eaten off plates I mean! … Bah, just go!" Kagami said, flustered again.

"Kagamin, I can't go because your arms are still around me."

"Oh," Kagami said, and released Konata.

"I confused your hierarchy of needs, didn't I?" Konata said, as she was putting on her shoes.

"What?"

"Like, mixing up your physiological and love-belonging needs."

"From which game or anime is that?"

"Actually, that's from a school book I got in advance. I sort of started reading it by an accident. That's Maslow's hierarchy of needs."

"Now that's unusual! You, learning something in college?"

"Yeah, well, I need to know what my Kagamin needs."

There was a rumbling sound from Kagami's stomach.

Konata giggled, and said, "I hear that right now you need dinner."

The door closed behind Konata.

Instead of arranging things, Kagami sat down at their table and looked around. The place was small, of course. Really small. There was a tiny kitchenette on the side of the living room, and no bedroom, just a futon they would lay onto the floor of the living room. Another room was so small that they decided to use it as a study, storage, and a place where Konata could play the online games all night without disturbing Kagami.

"At least there's a decent bathroom and a toilet … if she gets on my nerves, I have some places to escape into," Kagami muttered.

There was some nagging thought in Kagami's head. As if something was missing.

It took her a while to realize what it was.

She was not feeling lonely.

For most of her life, Kagami had felt more or less lonely. Of course, Tsukasa had always been there. Otherwise she could have gone mad. She never had had any close friends. Yeah, Misao and Ayano, and many others, but never close ones. Until senior high school. Until she met the blue-haired menace.

Tears flowed on her cheeks, but she was smiling. "I'm not alone anymore …" she sighed, in a trembling voice.

She stood up, wiped her tears, and started to prepare barley tea for two people – this made her smile again – and continued arranging the kitchenette and the bookshelves.

"I'm ho-oome!" Konata yelled.

"Are you going to yell that every time you come home?" Kagami said, trying to sound irritated. Like a proper _tsundere_ should. But she couldn't help smiling at Konata. _"Home …!"_ she thought.

"Oh, Kagami! Forgot to tell you. The net connection works already. I set up the computer earlier today and invited everyone through mail and texting," Konata said.

"Invited everyone?" Kagami asked.

"Yeah, the entire crew will be here tomorrow, for housewarming _soba_ and a party. Don't you remember?"

"No, I don't! Because you never said anything! And there's no such thing as housewarming noodles!" Kagami groaned.

"Oh. I forgot to tell you that too. Don't worry, I bought the noodles already! And everyone's coming! Isn't that great?"

"Look around! We'll have to arrange all those boxes out of the way! And I'm not sure whether everyone will fit in here, even after that!"

"Oops. I forgot. Ah well, start working, then! I'll fix you a great dinner meanwhile."

Kagami sighed. "All right, all right … wait, dinner was supposed to be sashimi! That doesn't take any time to prepare!"

"Kagami, you don't know anything about sashimi! You don't know how hard it is to cut the fish properly!"

"What, are you cutting the fish yourself?"

"No, they cut it at the shop … but that's not the point!"

"Konata …" Kagami growled, and approached her menacingly.

"Uh … I'd better start arranging my manga collection, then!" Konata said quickly, and started opening boxes.

"You'd better work hard, or I'll seek the box where I had the whip," Kagami said.

Konata's eyes widened for a moment, before she realized Kagami was joking.

_"… Pain, will you return in? I'll say it again – pain!"_ Konata sung an English chorus repeatedly while working.

Kagami glared at her with suspicion. "What are you singing and why…?" she muttered.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Greetings from America!" Patricia announced in English, as Konata opened the door.

"Oh, Patty-chan! Hiyori-chan! Did you bring any souvenirs, I mean, did you have fun?" Konata asked.

"It was great!" Patricia said. "Although Hiyori had a lot to get used to," she added, and wrapped her arm around Hiyori's shoulders.

"Here's an American doujin, just for you!" Hiyori said, with a weird smile on her face, as she handed a paper bag to Konata.

"Oh, thank you!" Konata said. She didn't yet know Hiyori well enough to recognize her expression as an evil grin.

"Hm. This guy sure is muscled. And wears lots of leather," Konata said, as she saw the cover. "'By Tomu of Finrando'," she read. "Hey, is this about Finland? You know, we had a two weeks trip there."

"Yes, I know. You have to tell us all about it! But no, that doujin is not about Finland, although the author was Finnish," Patricia explained.

"Great. I think I'll save it for later. Is it _yaoi_?"

"Yeah."

"I must read this together with Kagamin. I can't wait to see her reaction to good 'ol _yaoi_!" Konata whispered, grinned, and hid the book before Kagami saw it.

Both Hiyori and Patricia started laughing. "Oh, we would love to see her reaction too …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Konata, I think this place is too small for everyone," Kagami said, as Misao and Ayano burst in. Tsukasa and Miyuki had arrived just before them.

"Let's see … cousin Yui is giving Yutaka and Minami a lift – she got her license back. They are coming soon. But Kuroi-sensei mailed me and said she gamed all night and can't stay awake, so she will pop in some other day," Konata said.

"And Matsuri said she doesn't want to hang out with kids, so she and Inori aren't coming either," Tsukasa explained, looking a bit hurt.

"Hokkaido!" Misao screamed, making everyone flinch. "Hokkaido! Hokkaidooo!"

"Too loud!" Kagami yelled, and covered her ears.

"We brought souvenirs! Here's some bath salts for you two lovebirds," Misao said, and tossed a package labeled 'Noboribetsu hot springs' into Kagami's lap. "Hope Izumi can fit in the tub with Hiiragi! Ha ha!" she cackled.

Ayano looked at Miyuki and Tsukasa, and rolled her eyes. Apparently Misao was about the only one who was yet ignorant about Kagami and Konata.

"For the great chef Hiiragi Cooking-sama, we brought this canned meat!" Misao announced, and handed a tin can to Tsukasa. "It's got bear meat in it!" Misao added. Tsukasa turned pale.

"To our glasses-wearing genius, we have – a wooden figurine. The natives make these. They practically forced me to buy one! I'm not sure what it is!" Misao yelled, and handed the thing to Miyuki.

"I believe this is _Ursus arctos yesoensis_, carved by _ainu_. Thank you very much, Kusakabe-san," Miyuki said, and bowed.

"And, finally, for everyone, we got local sweets and chocolate," Ayano said, and pulled out a couple of boxes from her bag.

"Did you have fun?" Kagami asked, trying to direct the question to Ayano.

Of course, Misao was the one that answered. "Oh yeah, we had a great time! Super fun! I ate so much _jingisukan_ that I threw up! We went to the Noboribetsu hot springs! I almost got cooked when I jumped right in! Then we went skiing! And I almost killed Ayano!" Misao concluded her loud, if abbreviated, summary.

"What?"

"It was awful! I thought she would hit a tree and break every bone in her body!"

Ayano said, "I'll explain. Misa-chan dared me to – no, we weren't playing _that_ – dared me to ski down the great slope. I forgot how to steer and crashed into the forest. I didn't hit any trees directly, though. Misa-chan dug me out of a snowdrift. I wasn't badly hurt but I was getting into a shock and she had to carry me to the first aid station."

"Ayano was really dizzy. She thought we had been at Iwasaki's house and had had a big snow fight," Misao said, and giggled.

"It wasn't funny! I mean, not at the time," Ayano said.

"She tried to take her clothes off because she thought I was taking her into the bath," Misao continued her story.

Ayano punched her upper arm, not too gently. "Shut up!"

"Ouch! Sorry, I guess I was hysterical myself … I really thought you had been killed or badly hurt," Misao said, turned unusually serious, and looked sheepishly at Ayano.

There was a moment of awkward silence in the room, but it was interrupted by the doorbell.

"I think I can hear cousin Yui already," Konata said.

As she opened the door, the first thing Yui said was, "Five yen per liter! They have raised the price by five yen! That's robbery!"

"Well, you didn't have to buy any gas when your license was suspended," Konata noted.

"Don't remind me of that! That was the worst three months of my life! … oh, yahoo, everyone! Look at these two, if you haven't seen them yet!" Yui yelled, and moved out of the way so that Yutaka and Minami could enter.

Both were very tanned, although Minami was less tanned and looked redder than Yutaka.

"Wow, you're tanned!" Konata stated the obvious.

"They found out that Minami-chan burns easily!" Yui announced.

"Narumi-san, please …" Minami sighed.

"Wait until you see their tan lines! I was really surprised how tiny bikini Yu-chan has been wearing!" Yui added. "You naughty kid!" she added, nudged Yutaka, and guffawed.

"Wow! Show us now!" Misao yelled.

By now, both of their blushing was overpowering her tans.

"Ahem … uh, we have souvenirs for you," Yutaka stuttered.

"Oh yeah! Did you bring _Chinsukō_ and _Ukoncha_ as I asked?"

Tsukasa and some of the other less mature people burst into giggles.

"Yes, cousin," Yutaka answered, and took out the boxes. "But why turmeric tea?"

"_Ukoncha_!" Konata exclaimed.

"Yes, turmeric tea … why?"

"I think it's great with _Chinsukō!_" Konata said.

Tsukasa couldn't control herself anymore; she was literally rolling down on the floor with laughter.

Kagami glared at Misao, Tsukasa, and Konata, who seemed to have a field day, and sighed. "So childish…"

Konata wiped the tears of laughter, stood up, and said, "We'll have _Chinsukō_ later, with _Ukoncha_, but now I'll start preparing the noodles."

"Stop repeating those words!" Kagami groaned.

"Oh, you mean _Chinsukō_ and _Ukoncha_?" Konata asked.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Along with _Chinsukō_ and _Ukoncha_, Konata was telling a rambling story about their vacation.

"Anyway, there I was, milking the cow, and –" Konata explained.

Kagami groaned and banged her head onto the table.

As Konata repeated her question from that time, everyone except Kagami giggled or, like Misao, guffawed.

"Well, Yuki-chan? Did you find out the answer?" Konata asked, turning to look at Miyuki.

Miyuki was blushing slightly. "Well, I tried an Internet search, but that came up with … everything but an answer to that. So, I'm afraid I can't tell for sure, Izumi-san."

"I know how you feel, Hiiragi! It's embarrassing! Happens to me at the pool all the time!" Misao shouted at Kagami.

"Could we change the subject, please?" Kagami groaned.

"Okay. When we got to the Lappish village, the natives surrounded me and forced me to wear the native dress. I'll go put it on, in fact!" Konata announced, and began rummaging through the closet.

"You jumped over like half of our trip," Kagami said. "Lots of things happened before we got to the Lappish village – a ski center! That was a ski center!"

"Oh! Kona-chan ran out of the sauna and jumped straight into the icy lake. She screamed really loud," Tsukasa said. "… umm, and that did make _her_ nipples –"

"Enough of the nipples already!" Kagami groaned.

"What, were you swimming in the nude?" Yutaka gasped.

"We had to. It seems they always swim in the nude in Finland," Kagami explained.

"Found it!" Konata announced. "I'll go to the bathroom and change!"

"It's a boy's dress," Kagami said.

"Hush! They wouldn't have known," Konata said. "And it's not like the first cross-dressing I've done anyway."

"That part-time job of yours …" Kagami sighed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Later that evening, after their guests had left and they had had their bath, Kagami was lying on the bed reading a light novel.

Konata appeared suddenly, jumped below the sheets and started undressing Kagami's pajama pants. "Not now, I'm reading!" Kagami said, but she didn't actively do anything to stop Konata.

A few moments later, she had to put the light novel away, because she couldn't concentrate on the words.

"H-hey, my cell phone is ringing! S-stop, Konata … I mean it …"

Not that she did anything to show Konata that she meant it. She picked up the phone and saw that it was her mother calling.

"H-h-hi, mom! Thanks … What's … up?" Kagami said. Konata didn't let a phone call to distract her from what she was doing.

"Yeah! … I mean, yes, we had a fun party … we have settled in … nice! … -ly …"

"Dinner tomorrow? Aah … s-sure … we can be there … right there! I mean, over there … at S-s-sunday …"

"Mizutaki? … yeah! … oh yeah, I love it …! I mean, that's great!"

"Oh … yeah, my major subject is law … harder! I mean, I don't think it's too hard … oh yeah, it's … great! … exciting … uhh …" Kagami still desperately tried to sound normal, but she knew she was failing.

"I-I … mom, I must go … I mean, come … there's something-ah … call you later!" Kagami said, and cut the call, before she started moaning into the phone. The cell phone slipped from her fingers and she forgot about it.

At Hiiragi house, Miki closed the phone and stood there, looking slightly puzzled. Kagami's father came in and looked at her.

"Kagami sounded really, really excited about college. I think she will do great," Miki said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

It was early Monday morning. Kagami and Konata were having breakfast.

This morning, Kagami was half-asleep. Konata had prepared her a cup of coffee to help her wake up – she had gotten used to coffee in Finland – but she didn't feel like reading the newspaper.

Konata suddenly got very excited, and jumped up, startling Kagami.

"Kagamin! Kagamin! Look! Look!" Konata shouted, shoving the newspaper at Kagami.

"What? You, reading the newspaper? This is new," Kagami commented.

"Read this!" Konata yelled, pushing an article at Kagami's face.

"I can't see anything if it's on my face! Let me look at it myself … '_Vending machines selling dirty panties banned_'?"

"No, not that. It's the one below that," Konata noted.

"'_Japanese police cross-dress for bag snatch dragnet_' Hey, what kind of newspaper is this, anyway? A tabloid?"

"I bought it this morning. You are on the wrong page. There," Konata said, and pointed her finger at the article.

There was a small headline, _"'Fatherless humans – South Korean scientist produced human embryos from parthenogenesis'."_

"So what? Why are you so animated about that?" Kagami asked.

"Don't you get it? We two can have a baby, our own baby, some day!" Konata yelled, bouncing with excitement.

Instantly, Kagami turned bright red.

"Aren't you excited? It's one of the physiological needs, most important. Besides, your boobs will grow nicely when you have one in the oven!" Konata explained, gazing at the said body parts of Kagami.

"Eww! Gross! I'm not having your baby!" Kagami groaned, and covered her chest with her hands.

"But it has to be you!"

"What! Why?"

"You know what happened to my mother after she got me."

Kagami turned from red to pale instantly. "K-Konata … don't say such things. D-don't even think …"

"Uh. Sorry, that went a bit too far," Konata said, and hugged Kagami. "I had years to get used to that fact."

After a while, Kagami whispered, "… I would carry our baby … I'd never want to risk your life …"

"Kagamin …"

Kagami wiped a tear off her cheek, and said, "Anyway, that's silly! They aren't going to do that for people."

"Why not? I bet there's a huge market for it!"

Kagami sighed. "Oh, why, why did you take marketing …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

It was the next evening, Tuesday, that is, and the doorbell rang.

Sighing, Kagami separated herself from Konata, got up and put on the bathrobe.

"That must be the manga delivery I've been waiting for!" Konata exclaimed.

"So why did I have to get up and you stayed there?" Kagami growled.

"Since you are up already, why don't you get it for me, honey?"

Sighing again, Kagami went to the door and opened it.

It was Matsuri. She said, "Hello, I …" but the words got stuck in her throat as she saw Kagami in a bathrobe, Konata on the futon, barely covered by the sheets, and both of their clothes and underwear scattered on the floor. And it was nowhere near bedtime.

"What are you …" Matsuri hissed, but she already knew the answer. She took a deep, gasping breath, swung her hand back, and slapped Kagami's cheek, hard.

"You pervert! You sick, filthy brat!" Matsuri shouted.

Konata was frozen for a second, and then she jumped up, naked as the day she was born, and ran towards Matsuri, hissing and growling in anger.

Staggering, but reacting just quickly enough, Kagami stepped in front of Konata and caught her. "Stop! Don't! She didn't mean it!" Kagami shouted. Konata struggled violently; she wanted to smash Matsuri's face in for hurting Kagami.

Matsuri turned around, ran out, and slammed the door shut with a bang.

She staggered downstairs blindly, tripped, and fell – but was caught onto someone's arms.

Matsuri looked up and saw a vaguely familiar face and long, blond hair.

"Hey! It's dangerous to run on stairs like that!" the woman said, "Hey, isn't it Hiiragi! What –"

Matsuri's face was pale, her jaw twitched, and she was trembling and shaking. She had to cling onto Kuroi, or she would have collapsed. "Sensei …" she whispered. Then, along with a long wail of anguish, the tears started pouring.

* * *

"What would you like to eat tonight?" gag is an old one. I didn't invent it.

In Tokyo area, new residents used to prepare _soba_ noodles for their neighbors. This was called _Hikkoshi soba_. But, it's not done anymore, and it has nothing to do with a housewarming party, so Kagami was correct.

Konata is singing "Strangelove" by Depeche mode. :)

I should warn you again, that Tom of Finland might still be considered slightly NSFW. (Hey, but it's art!)

Hiiragi Cooking-sama = this is a pun on game called "Cooking Mama". There's also a hilarious flash animation "Cooking Sama" by Shinukoto-dei (that's her DeviantART nick, you can find the flash in her gallery), where Konata and Kagami make a cameo appearance.

To Japanese, the Okinawan word _Chinsukō_ sounds like "penis sukō", and _Ukoncha_ like "poop tea".

Japanese say "go" instead of "come" about, umm, "Clouds and Rain".

2007, a South Korean scientist Hwang Woo-Suk actually did create human embryos from parthenogenesis, although it was unintended. What Konata originally commented was much more gross, I had to tone it down :)

Matsuri recognizes Kuroi and calls her 'sensei' because Kuroi was a substitute teacher for her class at high school. At that time, Kuroi was herself studying to become a teacher. (This is not canon, just a reason how they know each other in this story.)


	6. Closet

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 6: Closet**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

Should I call Kuroi-sensei Kuroi-sensei or what? I'll just use 'Nanako' here, because she's not at school in this chapter. If you think it's wrong, I can easily search and replace it.

This chapter is entirely about Nanako and Matsuri. Couldn't help it, this is a bit less humorous than the other chapters, and ends vaguely. But, once this is resolved, we can get back to silliness.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Nanako had to support Matsuri, who could only sob and cry.

"Now what should I do with you?" Nanako said, "Never mind, that was just a rhetorical question."

Nanako looked around and saw a karaoke place nearby. "I was going to ask those two lovebirds to the karaoke …"

"Sensei? D-did you know about … them …" Matsuri gasped.

"Well, I am Izumi's friend. She tells me a lot of things online," Nanako explained.

"How … long …"

"Hold on." Nanako looked around. People passing by stared at them.

"I'll rent a karaoke box for us! We can talk there, in private," Nanako said.

Matsuri tried to protest, but Nanako pushed a piece of cloth into her hand. "Wipe your tears and get yourself together! And that's an order. You are a grown woman; you shouldn't be falling apart in public."

"Yes, sensei …" Matsuri said, wiped her face, noisily blew her nose into the handkerchief, and then handed it back to Nanako.

"You can keep that …" Nanako sighed.

She dragged Matsuri into the karaoke place and hired a box for them.

"Oh, and bring us … a six-pack," Nanako glanced at Matsuri – "No, make it two six-packs of cold beer. The usual stuff, in cans. Don't bother with glasses!" Nanako said. The clerk just nodded – this happened to be one of Nanako's hangouts.

"Sensei, I can't accept your generous –"

"Nonsense!" Nanako said, and led Matsuri into the box number 301.

"Sit down and relax for a while. I'll sing something!" Nanako announced, literally threw Matsuri onto the couch, and started browsing the catalogue.

"I won't take the one Izumi always starts with!" she muttered. "Ah! This one will cheer you up!"

A soul-ish music started to play. Nanako grabbed the mic and moved onto the stage.

"_O-o-h child, things are gonna get easier! O-o-h child, things'll get brighter! O-o-h child! Would you get that for me-e-e?_" she modified the lyrics a bit at this point, because there was a knock at the door.

"_Some day, yeah, we'll put it together and we'll get it all done …"_ Nanako's song continued, while Matsuri got up, opened the door and received two six-packs of beer.

Nanako gestured at her, which Matsuri interpreted as 'go ahead'. She placed the beers onto the table, slumped down onto the couch, took a can, opened it, and had a large sip.

Matsuri found herself fascinated by Nanako's singing and the lyrics – as much as she could understand of it, because it was entirely in English.

When the song ended, Matsuri smiled uncertainly, and gave a shy applause. "I don't know that song, but it was great …"

"You need another beer or three!" Nanako said, eyeing Matsuri. She sat down beside her and quickly chugged down beer herself.

Nanako waited and watched, until Matsuri had drunk two cans, and opened a third one.

"Okay, now we can talk. What happened?" Nanako said, and wrapped her hand around Matsuri's shoulder.

"Sensei … it's private … a family matter …"

"You can talk to me! I can guess most of it anyway. So you didn't know of them?"

"No … and I … caught them … umm …" Matsuri turned red.

"I wish I had caught them like that! I bet they look hot together!" Nanako said, and took a sip of beer.

Matsuri suddenly found the floor of the karaoke box a very interesting sight.

"So you caught them. Why to get upset? At least Kagami won't get married before you. That would have been embarrassing!" Nanako said, but after saying this, her smile turned sour. "Ouch. I shouldn't have thought about that."

"It's not – I mean, I saw something in Okinawa … and now this … it's too much …"

"Okinawa?"

"Uh … I saw your friend Narumi-san's little cousin Yutaka, and her friend Iwasaki-san …"

"Ah, they were in Okinawa too. Izumi told me. Those two have been inseparable."

"They were … on a balcony … umm …"

"Making out?"

"Yes."

"So why were you freaking out? Hold it, I can guess. Either you, a shrine maid, are a hypocrite who thinks it's 'unnatural' or 'immoral' or whatever –"

"No!"

"I didn't think you would. So, the other possibilities –"

"Stop it! Please!" Matsuri said.

"Okay, let's just drop the subject – for now. Since we are here, we should have fun. What would you like to sing?"

"Sensei, I don't think …"

"It has to be something really cheerful and happy …" Nanako muttered, not listening to Matsuri's protests.

"I know, let's sing a duet!"

Matsuri sighed. "… A-all right, then. I guess it would be a waste of renting karaoke box and not singing …"

"You sound a lot like your little sister Kagami."

"No!" Matsuri almost yelled.

Nanako took a curious look at her. _"What was wrong with that comparison? … Ah! I think I know …"_

"This is perfect! Valentine's Day Kiss!" Nanako announced, selected the song, and dragged Matsuri up. "Why that song?" Matsuri muttered, but Nanako didn't hear her.

"_Shalalala suteki ni kiss! Shalalala_ – sing along!" Nanako commanded, and pulled Matsuri's head closer, so that both of their voices could reach the microphone.

"_Ashita wa tokubetsu special day –_" the song continued. Hesitantly, Matsuri cleared her throat and joined in. She knew the song because Tsukasa had it played it a lot in her room, which was next to Matsuri's.

As much as Matsuri wanted to just sulk and feel miserable, the silly song made her feel better. Or maybe it was the beer. Or maybe sensei's hand around her and her face really close to hers.

When the song ended, Matsuri remembered something. "Oh no! I must call Kagami and apologize! I said some really mean things and slapped her!" she yelled.

"Never mind that. She'll understand," Nanako said.

"But I must –"

"Nonsense. I'll confiscate your cell phone! You can get it back after class," Nanako said, snatched Matsuri's handbag, and laughed.

"I'll text Izumi with my phone! _'Matsuri is with me, all okay, don't worry.'_ There. Now, you can stop worrying as well. Sit down and have another beer. Hey, do you have to go to college tomorrow?"

"No, the lectures start later this week."

"Good! And I don't have to be at school until tomorrow afternoon. We can have lots of fun! I'll sing _'Life is like a boat'_!" Nanako exclaimed, and grabbed the remote.

Matsuri slumped back onto the couch, and took another beer, as ordered.

After the song, she applauded, and asked "Nice song. What was it?"

"B**ach second ending tune," Nanako said, sat down, again close to Matsuri, and sipped from another can.

"What?"

"Anime."

"Oh."

"Haven't you watched any anime at all?"

Matsuri's cheeks burned. "I, umm …"

Nanako raised an eyebrow. "What's with that reaction? Have you been watching naughty anime?"

"Uh, no. Just the usual."

"Name a few you've watched!"

Desperately, Matsuri tried to come up with the 'usual'. "Umm … Sa**or M**n, Revolutionary Girl U**na, Str**berry P**ic, M-Marimite …"

Nanako started to laugh, which made Matsuri's blush deepen.

"You know, all of that anime –"

Matsuri groaned and buried her face into her palms.

"It's your turn to sing. Let me see … this one!"

Nanako dragged Matsuri up again, and tossed the mic into her hand.

"What? No way! You can't be serious!" Matsuri yelled, as she saw the song title on the screen.

"Sing! This is an order!"

Bravely, Matsuri started singing. _"Maria-sama no kokoro sore wa aosora …"_

"That was so embarrassing!" Matsuri gasped, and wiped her brow as the song finally ended.

Nanako had bent over the table and was holding her stomach, due to laughing too much. "Oh, that was almost painful! Now, what else I should make you sing?"

Matsuri took a deep breath, threw the microphone onto the couch, and shouted, "No more! Please! I admit it!"

"What? Already?"

Subdued, Matsuri sat down.

"Go ahead. I knew it anyway. My gaydar rarely fails!" Nanako said, and nudged Matsuri with her elbow.

"Yes, I'm gay! Completely. Gayest dyke ever. I just never admitted it. I never liked any boy. I had a crush on nearly every female teacher. I secretly checked out my classmates in dressing rooms. The only anime I really watched was of that kind…"

"And now you got one of them female teachers here, alone with you, in a private place!" Nanako exclaimed, and burst into laughter.

"Sensei! I wasn't thinking anything like that!" Matsuri gasped. However, she realized that by now, yes, she had started thinking. Nanako had gotten really close, her hand around her shoulders, her side against hers, their legs pressing together, and holding hands.

"Okay, first of all, stop calling me sensei. Just say, Nanako, or whatever. I'm not your teacher anymore – hooray for that!"

"Na-Nanako-san –"

"Drop the 'san' as well, Matsuri. So, did you have a crush on me?"

"… yes, I think." Matsuri muttered.

Nanako cackled. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I just remembered what Izumi told me. Takara's – I mean Miyuki – fantasy was doing it in a karaoke box."

"Sensei!"

"Nanako. And don't worry; I'm not going to ravish your virgin body."

"Sens – Nanako, h-how did you know that –" Matsuri snapped her mouth shut, but the damage was already done.

"It would be your first time? Oh, that would make it extra naughty!" Nanako said, and laughed again.

By now, it was obvious that Matsuri was at least as talented with blushing as Kagami.

"Don't be afraid. I won't do anything," Nanako affirmed.

Matsuri took a large sip of beer, and was silent for a long time.

"I'm not afraid …" she finally whispered. "But, Nanako … are you … uh …"

"Certainly not, if you meant pure and untouched? I've been with both men and women," Nanako said.

"Which d-did you l-like better?" Matsuri stuttered, and gulped down the rest of her beer and realized she was getting rather drunk.

"So you think it's time for smut stories, eh?"

"Oh no …" Matsuri gasped.

"What's wrong?"

"I've got a smut story for you. Now I realize why I got so angry at sis. I had a crush … on Konata. I tried to get her to bathe with me … I saw her in a daring outfit and couldn't stop staring at her …"

"Yeah, Izumi is really cute. Too childish for me, though."

"… I feel sick!"

"Don't worry. Izumi doesn't mind. She says there's a demand for her type. Besides, she's an adult."

"No, I meant I feel sick … Is there a bucket or something?" Matsuri was gagging and holding her mouth.

Quickly, Nanako jumped up and half-carried Matsuri into the toilet, just in time.

"Do they miss you at home?" Nanako asked, gently rubbing Matsuri's back.

"Not really … and I can't go home like this … and what if Kagami has ratted on me?" Matsuri muttered, still squatting over the toilet. However unpleasant it had been, it had cleared her head a lot.

Nanako checked her cell phone. "Nope. Izumi just texted me and she said it's cool."

"Don't tell them about me! Please …"

"No, I won't tell anyone."

"Let's go … there … Kagami … I must apologize …"

"Not tonight. You are in no condition to go anywhere. But we can't stay here either. I guess I must take you home. Thankfully, it's near."

"I couldn't … that's too kind of you …"

"Are you sure I'm doing this out of kindness?" Nanako said, but she laughed and added, "Just kidding. Wash your face. I'll get our things and we'll go."

Nanako helped Matsuri to clean up, collected their things from the box, and they walked out.

She had to grab Matsuri when she stumbled. "Whoa! You'd better lean on me."

"I don't know what to do …" Matsuri whispered.

"Try putting your hand around my shoulder," Nanako suggested.

"No, I meant, should I tell my parents? My sisters?"

"Sorry, I can't tell you what to do. Not in this case."

They walked in silence, until arriving at Nanako's apartment.

"Go on, and take a bath. The heater was on timer, so it should be hot by now. Meanwhile, I'll fix something to eat for us," Nanako said.

"But I c-couldn't …" Matsuri tried to stutter, but she shut up as Nanako pinched her nose and said, "Go. You stink."

Nanako handed her a towel and a bathrobe, and added, "Besides, you look terrible."

"Oh … thank you," Matsuri said reflectively, making Nanako laugh.

As Matsuri entered the bathroom and looked at the mirror, she saw that she indeed looked terrible, mascara flowing down her cheeks and her nose red like Rudolph's. Quickly, she took off her clothes and started to wash herself.

"Are you all right in there?" Nanako's voice called. "I'll leave an ice bag outside the door, if you need one."

"I'm fine! Thank you." Matsuri yelled, fearing that Nanako would burst in. That thought made her look at herself again. _"Would she like me…? No, stop thinking that!"_ she commanded herself.

"And she's not going to burst in. That's something I do. I barged in when Izumi was with Kagami in her room. Several times. And I never realized …"

"… I guess I don't have a 'gaydar'," she muttered. She peeked out of the door, snatched the ice bag, and pressed it on her aching head.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Feeling fresh as a daisy, Matsuri came out of the bathroom, wearing just the bathrobe. She had quickly washed all her clothes – they indeed stunk – and hanged them to dry.

"Over here," Nanako's voice called.

Hesitantly, Matsuri entered the kitchen. The lights had been dimmed and candles illuminated the table, which had been set up for two.

Nanako grinned, and announced, "Dinner is ready!"

"Sensei – Nanako, I mean, y-you shouldn't have done all this for me –" Matsuri stuttered. She blushed, because the setting looked like it was for a romantic dinner.

Nanako cackled. "Don't worry about the candles and such; I just wanted to see your reaction."

"Whew. For a moment I thought you were trying to s-seduce me …"

"Sit down. As I said, don't worry about it – yet."

"Yet?" Matsuri asked, and sat down.

"I only have one bed and no couch."

"Oh …"

Nanako grinned. "I'm just teasing. It's fun to tease you."

"Smells nice," Matsuri said, to change the subject.

"It's just noodles in broth … not cup noodles, though! I can cook, you know!"

"I also cook, sometimes. When mom lets me to … I'm so pathetic!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I remember Izumi telling me she tasted some of your cooking and said it was good," Nanako said, while scooping noodles into Matsuri's bowl. "Say when."

"No, I mean … I still live at home. And even my little sister has moved away … to live with her … when!" Matsuri said, as her bowl was almost overflowing. "Sorry, I started to talk about this again."

"Let's drop that subject for tonight. I'll come up with something to talk about."

"All right … good appetite!"

"Let's eat!"

After eating silently for a while, Nanako came up with a new subject. "What's your cup size, then?"

"W-why do you ask?" Matsuri gasped.

"You washed your clothes? I have to lend you a bra for tonight. Or is just a pajama okay?"

"Umm … I …"

Nanako eyed Matsuri's chest region. "Yours look rather firm. I'm envious. I don't sleep well if I don't wear a bra."

"Please, this subject is even more embarrassing than …"

"Sorry, I guess I think about this because you do look hot in that bathrobe."

Matsuri put down her chopsticks and stood up. The bathrobe fell half open. "Geez, just kiss me already."

"Are you sure? I might not be able to hold back."

"Then don't hold back …"

* * *

Don't think of this as a cliffhanger. I'm not sure whether those two will become a pair or not, and I'm not going to even write about them for a while.

Nanako's first song is _"O-o-h Child"_ (in case you didn't guess :) by the Five Stairsteps. Definitely a good cheering up song.

"_Life is like a boat"_ by Rie Fu is the second ending tune from Bleach. Haven't actually watched Bleach but the song is nice.

"_Maria-sama no Kokoro" _is the hymn from Marimite. Just imagine Matsuri singing it … hilarious :D


	7. Never Have I Ever

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 7: Never Have I Ever**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

Back to silliness. This chapter is mostly about Tsukasa, Ayano, Misao, and Miyuki.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Yahoo! … Ayano … oh, little sister Hiiragi!" Misao bawled. She had just come into the burger joint to meet Ayano. Unexpectedly, Tsukasa was also there with her. Not that it bothered Misao.

Misao sat down after ordering a double burger meal, and looked at her friends. In Hokkaido, something had happened. As if her eyes had been opened and only now she really saw Ayano as – something more than a friend. But, little sister Hiiragi? Not bad, not bad at all either. "Hm. Decisions, decisions …" she muttered, looking at them in turn.

"Misa-chan, but didn't you order already?" Tsukasa asked.

"Yeah, double burger. Or triple. Now that's an idea! Ha ha!" Misao cackled. Ayano and Tsukasa looked a bit puzzled.

"Misa-chan, you've been acting weird," Ayano said. "I mean, even more weird than usual."

"Well, first of all, I've been thinking about Hiiragi – I mean Kagami, and the squirt. There's something queer about them, living together like that, and all."

Ayano and Tsukasa both laughed.

"Misa-chan, haven't you still realized they are a couple? As in, lovers," Ayano asked.

"Oh. So that's what it was," Misao said, and scratched her head. "I think that someone told me already … but I forgot."

A waiter brought their meals, and for a while, they ate in silence.

"Who else?" Misao asked.

"Who else what?" Tsukasa asked.

"Any others, I mean? I suspect that that American blonde and Hiyori are also queer!" Misao whispered loudly.

"Misa-chan, you haven't been paying attention. They have been all over each other, even at school. Yes, Patty-chan and Hiyori-chan are a pair. So are Yutaka-chan and Minami-chan," Ayano explained.

"Yeah, well, I didn't bother keeping a record, because I could always rely on you," Misao said.

Misao took a sip of her cola, and was tempted to do the 'Poc*y' trick with the straw. "But I'm a college student now!" she noted. Tsukasa looked at her, trying to figure out how it related to what she had said.

"Tsukasa-chan, just ignore it. She often says weird things. I guess she just thinks aloud," Ayano explained.

"College …" Tsukasa sighed. "I don't think I could manage without you around, Ayano."

"Yeah, it's tough! In our place, they don't even hand us weekly schedules," Misao noted. "You got to select the courses yourself and make your own schedule! I wish they'd just tell me what I have to do."

"But isn't Kona-chan in your college?" Tsukasa said, but added, "… oh. But it's Kona-chan … I see."

"Yeah, she's useless. We both ended up going to Hiiragi – Kagami, I mean – and forced her to help us," Misao explained. "She wasn't too happy about it. Took us hours."

"I heard Kona-chan is taking business and marketing or something. So what courses are you taking, Misa-chan?"

"I'm becoming a P.E. teacher! I thought it would be just P.E. and games all day, but it turned out I had to take all sorts of weird courses! Like, psychology and whatnot. That stuff really messes up your head!"

Tsukasa and Ayano tried to imagine Misao as a teacher, but it was nearly impossible.

"Well, at least you have a loud voice, Misa-chan," Ayano said. It was the only positive trait she could come up for Misao as a teacher.

"I'm happy that in nursing at least the schedule is pretty clear," Tsukasa noted. "There are so many courses that they pretty much plan it for us."

This time, it was not at all hard to imagine Tsukasa being a nurse.

"Aww, so cute!" Ayano exclaimed, her eyes shining.

"Being a wet nurse suits you really well!" Misao commented, also staring at Tsukasa.

"Uh … Misa-chan, it's not 'wet nurse' … just a nurse," Tsukasa said, and giggled. "Ayano-chan, what are you studying?"

"I'm in the department of social work," Ayano said.

"So you'll become someone like Hard Gay!" Misao exclaimed.

"No, I don't think –" Ayano was interrupted by Misao shoving her palm at her face and shouting, "Sei sei sei sei sei!"

"Misa-chan, please don't imitate him."

"But he's my idol!" Misao yelled.

"You knocked your fries onto the floor, Misa-chan," Tsukasa noted.

"Oh no! My precious fries! Waah!" Misao screamed, and tears flowed on her cheeks, as she bent and looked under the table.

"Serves you right … but, three-second rule?" Ayano asked.

"I don't know! How often do they wash the floors here? Geez, it's too late anyway!" Misao yelled, and bumped her head onto the bottom of the table. "Ouch!"

"You can have mine, Misa-chan. These are too greasy and already cold …" Tsukasa sighed.

"Ah! Thank you!" Misao yelled, sat down again and started to stuff herself with the fries. "Om nom nom nom nom!" she exclaimed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Ayano, you are so cute! I love cuddling with you!" Misao said, and moved even closer. They were lying on Ayano's bed, facing each other, and arms around each other.

"I love cuddling with you too, Misa-chan … it's so warm and nice … and you are so cute too."

"Oh, me, cute? I never thought myself as cute."

"But you are! Really, really cute!"

"What part of me is cute?"

"Your … fang is so cute. When you smile, even a little, your fang shows. That's extremely cute."

"Just that? Nothing else?" Misao said, looking a bit sore.

"Well … your hair is cute! And your nose is cute. Your eyes are cute …"

"Your … clavicle is really cute, Ayano."

"I think your left calf is especially cute, Misa-chan!"

"Your pancreas is even cuter!"

"Your ovaries are the cutest I know."

"I love your esophagus, it's very cute."

"Umm … your salivary glands are really cute!"

"You are so cute! I love you, Ayano."

"You are the cutest! I love you too, Misa-chan!"

"Would you marry me, cute Ayano?"

"Oh! I don't know what to say … this came so sudden …" Ayano gasped.

"The way you said that was sooo cute. Kiss me, Ayano!"

At this point, Ayano woke up. She jerked up, into a sitting position, gasping for air. It was two a.m., and she was home, in her bed, and alone.

"Yech! Eww! … That was …" she muttered, pulling her hair.

Ayano took a few deep breaths. "… that was …" she repeated. And no, 'cute' was not the word. "… a nightmare!"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next Saturday, Ayano was going to meet her friends again at the mall, for some window shopping, and a sleepover. Surprisingly, they were going to sleep at Hiiragis' house, because Tsukasa had asked for them to keep company to her.

"Hiya, Ayano – oh! You look terrible!" Misao yelled.

"Thanks. I had a nightmare and couldn't get enough sleep. I'm okay, though. Just bear with me if I yawn all the time," Ayano explained.

"Ooh! Nightmare! – Let's wait for little sister Hiiragi. I want to see her face when you tell about that nightmare. I hope it was really scary!" Misao exclaimed, and looked around, but Tsukasa had not arrived yet.

"No, I can't tell you about it. It was … indescribable," Ayano muttered.

"I think that's little sister Hiiragi!" Misao yelled. "Yahoo!"

Tsukasa was carrying a pile of tissues and looked rather baffled. "Oh, hello …" she said, absent-mindedly.

"What's with all those tissues?" Misao asked.

"Tissues? Oh, right. I wasn't thinking and took each one they offered," Tsukasa said.

"Are you okay, Tsukasa-chan?" Ayano asked.

"I came here with sis and Kona-chan …" Tsukasa said, as if that explained everything.

"So where are they?" Misao asked.

"Sorry. That's why I'm a bit preoccupied. They said they are a working at Kona-chan's cosplay café today. And that's … I just can't imagine sis working as a maid …"

Misao burst into laughter. "A maid? I heard about the last time the great Hiiragi was working there, wish I had seen that!"

"I haven't been to that café before. Maybe we should go there first?" Ayano suggested.

"Umm … I'm not sure. Sis was already quite nervous …" Tsukasa muttered.

"I want to see what the squirt made her wear this time!" Misao shouted. "Let's go!"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"I still don't think this was a good idea," Tsukasa whispered.

They were standing at the door of the cosplay café, Misao leaning onto the doorbell. "Is this thing broken? I can't hear anything," she said, and kept pushing it repeatedly.

The door swung open and they saw Kagami, dressed into a frilled, laced French maid's outfit, holding a feather duster in her hand threateningly. "What's wrong with you people? Stop playing with the doorbell!" she screamed.

Misao exploded into laughter. She doubled over and had to lean onto the wall.

"Umm … sis, you look … pretty!" Tsukasa exclaimed.

Ayano tried to hold back, but her cheeks bulged, until she gave up and started to guffaw.

Kagami turned even brighter red, and yelled, "What the hell are you doing here? Tsukasa, I said I don't want you to come!"

"Sorry, sis, but Misao forced us to …" Tsukasa said, her jaw twitching.

"Yahoo! Hi, guys! Come on in, there's plenty of room!" Konata said, peeking from behind Kagami. Konata was also wearing a French maid outfit. "It's the French maid week!" she explained. "Kagami – I mean, Angelika, is a big hit! They would like to have her every day!"

"Konata, I'm in college! I don't have time to work here! I shouldn't be here even today!" Kagami yelled.

"Now now, Angelika, I'm not Konata, I am Claudette!" Konata said, and clung onto Kagami.

"You are an annoying pest!" Kagami yelled, and smacked Konata on the head with the feather duster.

"You only say that because you love me, Angelika!" Konata yelled, dragging Kagami back into the café. "Oh, kiss me, Angelika! I have so much longed to have those luscious lips on mine!"

"I'm not going to kiss you to entertain customers!" Kagami yelled.

"I can see it now. Those two are so much in love …" Misao sighed. "I'm envious."

They selected a table and sat down, accompanied by Kagami's and Konata's constant bickering. Until Konata said, "_Je t'aime!_"

Kagami stopped talking instantly, looked at Konata wide-eyed, and gasped, "W-what?"

"I take my work seriously! So I learned some appropriate phrases. _Embrassez-moi, je parle francais!"_ Konata said.

Kagami had to lean onto the table, as her knees buckled. "K-Konata, that … that makes me …" she gasped, breathing heavily.

"_Oo! Angelika, j__e veux passer la reste de ma vie avec vous,"_ Konata cooed into Kagami's ear.

Kagami grabbed Konata's shoulders with her trembling hands. "S-stop that …"

"Make me stop! _Il y a une fete dans mon slip et je t'y invite!_" Konata said, patting her eyelids and pressing herself against Kagami.

"If you go on, I'll … I'll …" Kagami panted.

"_Fait-il chaud ici, ou c'est juste vous? __Je t'aime de tout mon coeur! Dans tes bras c'est mon destin!__Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles –"_

At this point, Kagami shut Konata up by kissing her on the lips, causing several nosebleeds in the audience.

Ayano, Misao, and Tsukasa started to applaud and cheer.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Why do girls always go window shopping?" Tsukasa asked, after they had been doing just that for three hours, without buying anything.

"That's a good question," Ayano said.

"I have absolutely no idea!" Misao said, and added, "So let's check those clothing stores over there."

"Maybe it's for the same reason women tend to go into toilet together?" Tsukasa suggested.

"What? Do we do that?" Ayano asked.

"Well, Kona-chan said we do, especially in the Western countries," Tsukasa explained. "And she annoys sis by trying to follow her into toilet."

"Why? Why would we do that?" Misao asked.

"Apparently, nobody knows," Tsukasa sighed.

"So that didn't explain the window shopping thing at all," Misao concluded.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Good evening, sorry for the intrusion!" Ayano yelled.

"There's nobody home," Misao noted.

"No, there isn't," Tsukasa said. "Mom and dad and my big sisters are visiting another temple this weekend, and I have to write an essay for school. Anyway, we got the entire house for us. Yuki-chan is coming too, but I think she said she can't sleep over. Ayano-chan, could you help me with cooking?"

"I can help too!" Misao announced.

Ayano and Tsukasa looked at each other. "Well, I guess we can find something for you to do as well …" Ayano said.

"Hey, I can cook! Yesterday, I made cup noodles all by myself!" Misao said, looking proud.

"Umm …" Tsukasa muttered.

"Ha ha! Just kidding. Of course I can cook. I live on my own now. I had to learn it or I would have starved! Tsukasa, you just write whatever you were going to, and leave everything to me and Ayano," Misao exclaimed.

"Oh? A-are you sure you can manage?" Tsukasa asked, looking more at Ayano than at Misao.

The doorbell rang and Tsukasa hurried to open the door for Miyuki.

"Hi, Yuki-chan. Ayano-chan and Misa-chan are making dinner, so could you help me a bit with this essay …" Tsukasa explained, and led Miyuki upstairs.

"Aww-right! I'll cook harder than anyone has ever cooked!" Misao shouted.

"Misa-chan, I don't think that's how – " Ayano was interrupted by Misao yelling, "I even learned how to make leek sorbet! I pestered Hiiragi until she sent me the recipe!"

"Umm, Misa-chan, there aren't any leeks here, besides nobody else likes that stuff," Ayano said.

"Oh. Too bad. Lemme see … do they have any guts in here?" Misao asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"Excuse me, Misa-chan, did you say 'guts'?" Ayano gasped.

"Yeah! You know the stew that is made of stomach and brains and intestines and whatnot! I love it!" Misao yelled.

"Oh, that one. It would take too long to prepare, even if we had the ingredients."

"Darn. What's this then? Let's cook this!" Misao yelled, waving something in the air.

"That's a fresh fillet of salmon, I think. Sure, we can use that," Ayano said.

"What can be done with a fillet of salmon?" Misao asked.

"Why, that can be used for lots of dishes. I thought you said you can cook!" Ayano gasped.

"… of course I can! Just tell me what, and I'll cook it!" Misao yelled.

"Make sushi, then," Ayano said.

"Sure! … that's, umm … boiled rice on top of fish … no, the other way around?"

"So you can't cook," Ayano declared.

"I said I can!" Misao yelled, and squirted a bottle of mayonnaise at Ayano. It worked better than she had intended; a generous amount of mayonnaise went down Ayano's face and into her neckline.

Ayano screamed when cold mayonnaise flowed inside her shirt.

"That does it!" she growled, snatched the bottle from Misao, and tried to pour it on her.

Misao stepped backwards, Ayano slipped on the mayonnaise on the floor and crashed at her. They both fell down, Misao on top.

The bottle of mayonnaise was squeezed in between them, burst open, and emptied its entire contents on both of them.

At this point, Tsukasa and Miyuki came in, and just stared at them.

"What kind of recipe is this?" Tsukasa asked.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

They had cleaned up themselves and the kitchen, and eaten the sushi made by Tsukasa and Ayano.

"Let's play truth or dare!" Misao shouted.

"No thanks!" all the others yelled.

"Well … I know another game I have always wanted to play," Ayano said. "I read about it somewhere. It's called 'Never I Have Ever'. The one who starts makes a statement, like 'I have never played a recorded'. Anyone who has done what the first player has not done must take a drink."

"Ayano-chan, I have played a recorder, as you know. Do I have to take a drink now?" Tsukasa asked.

"Yes, but I wasn't playing yet – that was just an example. I couldn't use that statement because I have played a recorded too," Ayano explained.

"Oh. I see. What if none of the others haven't done it either?" Tsukasa asked.

"Then the one making the statement has to take a drink and doesn't get a point," Ayano explained.

"And I have the drink right here!" Misao announced, and pulled out a large bottle of sake.

"Misa-chan! Where did you get that? That is … sake!" Tsukasa noted.

"I bought it today, when you two were not looking. So what?"

"We shouldn't be drinking alcohol," Tsukasa said. "My family wouldn't like us drinking in here."

"It's okay. If we all share one bottle, nobody will even get drunk. It's not that much," Misao tried to persuade Tsukasa.

Tsukasa shrugged her shoulders, and said, "I guess it's okay …"

"If nobody objects, I can go first in the game. Let me think … I have never kissed a girl!" Ayano said.

"That's something we need to fix tonight!" Misao declared, and winked an eye at Ayano.

"Yuki-chan and I have kissed …" Tsukasa muttered. "So I guess we need to take a drink."

"Me too! I mean, I have kissed girls – not any of you, unfortunately," Misao said, and poured sake into their cups.

"If we go counterclockwise, it's your turn, Tsukasa-chan," Ayano said, after they had emptied their cups.

"Umm … I have never won in any personal sports," Tsukasa said.

"Me neither," Ayano said.

"And neither have I," Miyuki said, "the relay at sports festival is not an individual sport."

"But I have a cupboard full of medals and prizes!" Misao announced, "I guess I get to drink again!"

"So Tsukasa-chan gets a point, and it's Yuki-chan's turn," Ayano said.

"Are we keeping score?" Tsukasa asked.

"Yeah, we could say the one who gets ten points first is the winner. Go on, Yuki-chan."

"I have never copied homework from anyone else," Miyuki said.

"That's unfair!" Misao yelled. "You know we three are all airheads. Of course we all have copied. Ayano even copied homework from _me_ once! Talk about desperation!"

"Yes, okay, Misa-chan. That's enough. Pour us drinks," Ayano said, glaring at Misao.

"You are too good in this game!" Misao yelled. "It's my turn! I'll make you drink!"

Misao gulped down the sake, burped, and said, "I have never wet my bed!"

Tsukasa turned bright red instantly.

"A-HA!" Misao yelled, and pointed at her.

"Ahem … I have wet my bed too, but just once or twice," Miyuki said.

"Ayano?" Misao said, but Ayano just shook her head.

"I'll pour drinks for you two!" Misao said, and cackled with glee. "And it's Ayano's turn."

"Well, I have never smoked a cigarette," Ayano said, after thinking for a while.

Miyuki said, "Me neither."

Tsukasa and Misao looked guilty.

"I did, but I got really sick," Tsukasa said.

"I cheated and didn't inhale the smoke. Does that count?" Misao asked.

"Yes, it does. Both of you take a drink," Ayano declared.

Tsukasa wasn't feeling at her brightest, and said the first thing that came into her mind. "I have never watched any porn!"

Miyuki yelped, and everyone else looked at her.

"Uh … I didn't really mean to … I was just surfing the net, looking for the answer for Konata's question … and … ehh …" Miyuki stuttered.

Misao said, "I watched an anime which turned out to include, umm, tentacles ... Does that count?"

"Yes, I think it does. A-and … I watched a few movies which … anyway," Ayano said. "I guess we three have to drink."

It was Miyuki's turn. "I … Does anyone know how many points each has?"

"No idea," Ayano said.

"I thought you were keeping count," Misao said.

"In that case, let's play until the bottle is empty," Ayano suggested.

"Okay, then. I have never had a crush on a teacher," Miyuki said.

The others looked at each other.

"Weird, me neither," Misao said.

"No, I don't think I ever had," Ayano said.

Tsukasa scratched her head. "It is odd. I can't remember having one either."

"Miyuki has to take a drink, then," Ayano said. "And it's Tsukasa-chan's turn."

Tsukasa giggled. "T-the floor is swaying …"

"The bottle is nearly empty," Ayano noted. "Just say something, Tsukasa-chan."

"I have never confessed to anyone," Tsukasa blurted out.

They all looked at each other.

"Nobody?" Ayano asked. All shook their heads, and fell silent.

Ayano's eyes were tearing up. She sighed, and said, "I think there's one more drink for everyone left in the bottle."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

They spent an hour mostly resting and dozing off, or in deep thoughts.

Finally, Ayano spoke up. "Hey, let's cheer up. So there hasn't been much romance in our lives. But we are still young! There's plenty of time to confess to someone. But let's not become like Kuroi-sensei, okay?"

Misao jumped up, and shouted, "That's the spirit! In fact, I would like to confess, right now!"

She turned to face Ayano, and exclaimed, "It's you! I like you, Ayano! Wanna go steady?"

"Sorry, Misa-chan," Ayano said.

Everyone else gasped.

"I'm so sorry … but there's someone else I like even more. It's Tsukasa-chan," Ayano said, and turned to look at the younger Hiiragi sister. Misao's face fell with disappointment.

"Ayano-chan … I'm sorry as well … I do like you, but the one I like the most is … Yuki-chan!" Tsukasa exclaimed, and wiped a tear.

Ayano covered her eyes with her palms. "Oh no …"

Slowly, everyone turned to look at Miyuki.

"Well, I … this is a bit embarrassing …" Miyuki said.

"What? This must be good! Miyuki is about to tell us a secret about herself!" Misao yelled. "I can't wait! Tell us already! Who do you like? Is it one of us?"

"… I'm afraid that … uhh …"

"Please, tell us, Yuki-chan," Tsukasa pleaded.

"… I realized this long ago. I think I've always been like this, and … it's probably just my genes. I can't help it."

"What is it, Miyuki-chan? You can tell us," Ayano also encouraged her.

"Sorry, Tsukasa-san, but I'm afraid that I'm … straight," Miyuki said quietly.

The others' jaws dropped. After the shock, they all launched into speech.

"No way! Now this is a big surprise! I thought that you, of all people, would at least be normal!" Misao yelled.

"Have you told your mother? Was she shocked?" Ayano asked.

"I never imagined you would be like that!" Tsukasa gasped.

This time, Miyuki's jaw dropped, as the three other girls continued to talk over each other excitedly.

"Hey, guys!" Ayano shouted, and the others shut up and looked at her. "What's with this reaction? Shame on us!"

"Yeah, you're right," Misao said.

"Sorry, Yuki-chan. It's just that … this was so sudden. We like you, no matter what you are," Tsukasa said. "And I just have to get over it …"

Miyuki looked at the clock. "Thank you, everyone. I like you a lot … just not in that way. But, it's getting late, and I got to go home. We can talk about this later. You three have fun," Miyuki explained, and stood up.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Miyuki had left. The others had each taken a bath in turn and were sitting in Tsukasa's room in their pajamas.

They were in deep thought, and an unusual silence prevailed. Misao and Ayano tried to read a manga, but couldn't concentrate. Tsukasa was still trying to write her essay, with little success.

Finally, Ayano put the manga away, and said, "If you need a shoulder to cry on, Tsukasa-chan, I'm always available."

"I'd do the same for you, Ayano. I know I'm not little sister Hiiragi, but I can pretend!" Misao noted.

"You can sleep in my bed, Misa-chan, if you need comforting," Tsukasa promised.

The three friends looked at each other. And started to blush.

"Hey, guys …!" Ayano gasped.

"Oh, yeah!" Misao exclaimed.

"We all had the same idea?" Tsukasa asked.

Misao, being the candid one, said it aloud.

She cupped Tsukasa's cheek with her palm, and added, "I just hope you don't wet the bed anymore, little sis?"

"N-no …" Tsukasa gasped.

* * *

I looked up lots of Japanese colleges. Most have English pages as well. Interesting – especially the women's colleges. (*¬*)

Razor Ramon Hard Gay used to perform acts of charity (_yonaoshi_, "social improvement") in his comedy act. So Misao naturally thought of him as a social worker. (°∀°)

Ayano's dream is a little tribute to Arker. I like his stories. I think they are ... cute!

No, I don't know French. But I should learn those phrases Konata said, such as, "My hovercraft is full of eels."

Yes, there is a stew made of all sorts of weird stuff. It's called もつ鍋 (_motsunabe_). I'd like to taste it!

If four Japanese girls share a standard 1.8 liter bottle of sake (14 % abv) they will get drunk.

If you didn't get what is about to happen at the end … sorry, can't tell you. (~_n) I can only say that it is the beginning of one of the M-rated side stories which might get written some day. (°ヮ°)


	8. Where Do The Tears Go?

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 8: Where Do The Tears Go?**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

Yeah, Solarius Scorch and VampireCabbit are right; the girls took it rather lightly at the end of the last chapter. I probably wasn't empathizing with the characters enough while writing that. But, for now, I'm not going to rewrite it.

This chapter is very short. It's just an interlude, written to annoy those other writers who dare to publish just after I did! (≥x≤!) (Just kidding, it's great that people publish Lucky Star stuff! (¯◡◡¯·))

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"_It's been a while since I came to visit,"_ Kanata thought. _"It's probably midnight soon … for some reason, that's when it is the easiest."_

Kanata tried to grab the door handle of Izumi house, but her hand went through it. _"Oh, right …"_ she thought. _"And it's probably locked too."_

Effortlessly, she passed through the door. The lights were still on in the living room. _"Is S__ōjirō-kun staying up late?"_

She flew into the living room and saw that the TV was on, and Sōjirō and a pink-haired woman were on the couch together, sound asleep, leaning onto each other.

"_So you found someone else … she's pretty. And you two seem to get along."_

Kanata sighed deeply and wiped a tear. She looked around, and saw magazines scattered on the floor, an empty pizza box on the table, and dust under the bookshelf.

"_Uh … I guess … as long as you are happy. Just don't forget me completely …"_

She went upstairs and into Konata's room.

"_Oh, my little girl has grown up!"_

The person in the bed turned in her sleep, and revealed her chest.

"_What! Have you taken breast implants, Konata?"_

She screamed, as she realized that the girl was not Konata. Of course, her scream could not be heard, but the girl shifted uneasily.

"_Who are you?! … by the color of your hair … you must be the woman's daughter. So Konata was moved to another room? Or into the cellar? Is she an evil stepmother?"_

Kanata looked around and saw that there was a pile of books on the table. _"Anatomy? Biochemistry? Ah, her name is written here. Miyuki Takara? Studying to become a doctor? That's quite impressive."_

She heard a sound from the next room. Quickly, she shifted through the wall and saw a little girl, even smaller than Konata, holding a cell phone.

"_Ah, little Yu-chan. At least you are still living here."_

"Kona-chan? Yeah, I'm still awake, how did you guess?" Yutaka said.

"_Konata is calling you?"_

"I was studying late with Yuki-chan. We both have tests coming up next week. How was your work?"

"_Oh. Sounds like this Yuki-chan is okay,"_ Kanata thought.

Yutaka listened for a long while, giggling now and then. Finally, she gasped, "No, Kona-chan! Please, I couldn't! And you know my figure wouldn't look any good a maid dress."

"_Konata, what are you suggesting to Yu-chan?!"_

"A demand for my body? Uh …"

"_Konata!"_ Kanata yelled. Yutaka flinched and looked around.

"What, taking a bath so late? Okay, we'll see you tomorrow then. Yui is picking us up. 3-20-1 Ayase, was it? Bye!"

Yutaka closed her phone.

"_An address? I can find that. Thank you, Yu-chan."_

Kanata kissed Yutaka on the forehead before departing. Yutaka blushed and rubbed her forehead. "Wonder what that was …?" she whispered.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

It took Kanata a while to get there, mostly because the city at night was a sight in itself.

She found the building and looked at the mailboxes. _"This must be it … what, Izumi and … Hiiragi? She's living with someone? A roommate? She can't be married yet, no way. I would have known."_

She flew upstairs and into their apartment. There was a single, two-person futon on the floor, prepared for sleeping. Nobody seemed to be around, but a commotion could be heard in the bathroom.

"_Is she taking a bath with someone?"_

Kanata blushed slightly, but decided to take a peek._ "I hope they don't think I'm like S__ōjirō-kun … what am I saying … they can't see me anyway."_

There were two girls in the bathroom. Konata and another, taller girl, with long, lilac hair. Konata was just washing her back.

"Konata, I told you I can wash my back myself!" the taller girl said.

"But I like doing it!" Konata exclaimed.

"I can't relax because I'm afraid you will tickle me or something!"

"Kagamin, there's plenty of time for tickling later on," Konata said.

"_So her name is Kagamin Hiiragi?"_ Kanata muttered.

"I don't like being tickled!" Kagami yelled.

Konata giggled. "Perhaps I meant the other kind of tickling …" she cooed.

"Oh. Well, _that_ kind is okay …" Kagami said, and blushed.

"_K-Konata! Are you two …"_ Kanata gasped.

"I'm ready! It's your turn to wash my back," Konata said.

Kagami turned around and stood up. Konata kissed her on the lips and sat onto the stool.

"_Yes, you are. Definitely …"_ Kanata sighed.

Now, that Konata couldn't see her face, Kagami let a big smile to appear on her face. Gently, she started rubbing Konata's back with the bath sponge.

Konata giggled.

"What's so funny now?" Kagami asked.

"Well, I got this feeling that we are being watched …" Konata explained.

"That wouldn't be funny!" Kagami said, and looked at the vent, but it was of the sort that couldn't be peeked through.

"Secondly, you forgot the mirror," Konata said.

Kagami gasped as she realized that Konata could see her reflection. "I … I was just …!"

"Relax, Kagamin …"

"_I have never seen you look happier, Konata-chan …"_ Kanata said. _"Oh! I'd better let them have some privacy."_

She returned to the living room and sat down at the table. She hung her head down and cried.

"_My daughter has found someone she really loves. That's wonderful. I should be happy … but … she's a girl … two girls … this means … I might never have grandchildren."_

Her tears seemed to pass through the table and through the floor. _"In time, nobody will remember me anymore … gone, like these tears. I wonder where spirit's tears go …"_

Kanata sighed deeply, stood up and looked at the photographs. _"This must be Kagamin's family. Her father is a priest? Four daughters? Tsukasa, Matsuri, Inori? And here's their address …"_

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"_Sorry for the intrusion,"_ Kanata said, as she entered the Hiiragi home. _"Oh, they wouldn't hear me anyway …"_

She looked around, but there seemed to be nobody home. She extended her senses and heard breathing in one of the upstairs bedrooms.

"_Sounds like they are asleep. I guess it's okay to just take a look …"_ she thought, and passed through the walls.

She saw lots of clothes, including underwear, on the floor, as well as stuffed animals, obviously thrown off the bed to make room for not one but three girls cuddling together.

Kanata's jaw dropped. For a long while, she just floated there, staring at them.

"_That one must be Tsukasa. At least those two aren't your sisters …!" _she finally said.

There were sounds coming from downstairs. _"Oh? Someone came home at this hour? Or is it a burglar?"_

Kanata flew downstairs and saw two women in the lobby. A tall, blonde woman had just pushed the younger one against the wall and was kissing her passionately.

"_Just what kind of family is this!?"_ Kanata yelled.

The women kicked their shoes off and moved towards the stairs, stopping to kiss several times, and dropping their coats on the way.

"Ohh, Matsuri …" the blonde sighed.

"_So she's one of the sisters!"_

The pair climbed upstairs, ripping their clothes off, until they only had their underwear on.

"_Oh no … don't go there …"_

In upstairs hallway, Kuroi-sensei pushed Matsuri against the wall again – except that it wasn't the wall, but the door to Tsukasa's room. The door opened and they crashed onto the floor, Kuroi-sensei on top.

The three girls in the bed woke up and screamed in terror.

"Sis!" Tsukasa yelled.

"Tsukasa! And … Misao! And … Ayano!" Matsuri gasped, when she saw them.

"Kuroi-sensei!" Ayano gasped.

"Character printed panties!" Misao yelled.

They all stared at each other for a few seconds that felt very, very long.

"_Is she their teacher?! Oh no, I can't take this anymore …" _Kanata thought, and fled the house.

High above the city, she looked at the millions of lights illuminating it.

"_Your father is a priest and you are temple maidens. Right. Wonder what you had been like if you weren't …"_

"_Ah well … at least you all seemed happy,"_ she muttered, before departing.

* * *

That name is hard. I kept typing "Katana" all the time!

I included an address so that Kanata would find them. It is meaningless; actually an address of a place called Tokyo Budokan. It's not a reference to anything.

So which one was wearing character printed panties? Kuroi-sensei or Matsuri? That's a question that will haunt the readers for the rest of their lives. Or not.


	9. Nothing Would Have Happened

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 9: Nothing Would Have Happened**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

I decided not to overdo this chapter or try too hard, I just took what I had, added whatever more I had in mind, and let go.

Oh no, I wouldn't harm any characters! There might be some slightly more serious moments, but nothing more serious than seen in Lucky Star itself.

EDIT: oh yeah, I forgot Inori. Yes, she was there, and she deserves to be mentioned. So I added that. This also gave me an idea for an entire chapter! Thanks, Silencian.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Well I am shocked! How could you three do such things?" Kuroi-sensei yelled.

The three girls on the bed were all yanking at the sheet, which couldn't quite cover everyone's decency at once.

"Stop playing with the sheet and explain! How did this happen?" Matsuri asked, glaring at Tsukasa.

Tsukasa's eyes widened, but she started explaining, "Umm … first we kissed a lot, and then I started to pull Misa-chan's shirt up –"

Matsuri interrupted her, yelling, "Not that part! I mean how did you three end up in here in the first place, having … oh no, I can't even say it!"

"Why is that a problem? What were _you_ two doing just now? Playing mahjong?" Misao asked.

"That's different!" Matsuri yelled. "My sister, in bed, with _two_ girls … that's just … wrong!"

"Why, sis?" Tsukasa asked.

"Because … because …" Matsuri repeated. The three friends looked at her expectantly.

"… Sensei? Tell them, please!" Matsuri said, turning to Kuroi-sensei.

"Umm … I … it's wrong, because …" Kuroi-sensei said. And stopped.

Everyone was looking at her.

"… I don't know! If it's between consenting adults –"

"Nanako!" Matsuri screamed. "You can't possibly think that this is okay!"

Kuroi-sensei looked sheepishly at Matsuri. "But , honey buns –"

"Don't call me honey buns when there are other people around!"

"Matsuri, I heard you hit Kagami the other day? Why? And why are you at home in the first place?" Tsukasa asked. "I thought you were with mom and dad."

"I … I … never mind all that now!" Matsuri yelled. "This is crazy! First I find out what Kagami is doing with that … that midget, and now this!"

"You made up some lame excuse so that you could stay home and … make out with sensei!" Tsukasa accused.

Matsuri took a deep breath. "Okay. I guess I'm nearly as bad as you! But I'm so going to tell mom and dad about you!"

"If you do that, I'll rat on you and sensei!"

Matsuri slumped down onto the floor and hung her head down.

"Hiiragi, could you move a bit. You're sitting on my bra," Misao said.

"Eww!" Matsuri yelled, and swiped the piece of clothing away. She then buried her face into her hands again. Kuroi-sensei sat down beside her and patted her back.

There was a long silence, while the three younger girls gathered their underwear and pajamas.

Finally, Ayano cleared her throat, and said, "Everyone … let's just calm down. I'll make some hot cocoa."

A few minutes later, they were sitting at the living room table, with cups of cocoa in front of them. They all looked at the cups, but none seemed to be too eager to take a sip.

Kuroi-sensei sighed deeply, stood up, and said, "Since I'm the teacher and supposed to be the responsible one …"

The others looked up.

"Think of what happens if they just find out by accident," she added, eyeing Matsuri, and sat down again. Not even Tsukasa had to ask who Kuroi-sensei meant.

"So …" Tsukasa said, and looked at Matsuri.

"Yeah … I guess …" Matsuri said quietly. "I presume this is not 'just a phase' for you either? That you will grow out of it and become straight again?"

Tsukasa shook her head, so she continued, "We have to tell them. Do they know about Kagami?"

"I don't think so," Tsukasa said.

"Since the family was going to Kagami's place tomorrow …" Matsuri muttered.

"We'll be there too!" Misao announced.

"Yeah, we can't let Tsukasa-chan do this alone," Ayano said.

"Sis, I'm afraid. Will they kick us out of the house?" Tsukasa asked. Tears started flowing on her cheeks.

"They will kick themselves when they find out all their daughters are … queer," Matsuri said.

"What, Inori too?" Tsukasa asked.

"I don't really know, but I wouldn't be surprised," Matsuri muttered.

"It will be embarrassing, but I guess I have to be there," Kuroi-sensei sighed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

It was Sunday afternoon. Konata opened the door and saw the elder Hiiragi sisters. Sōjirō, Yukari, Ayano, Miyuki, Yui, Yutaka and Minami had arrived earlier.

Konata glared at Matsuri, and hissed, "I haven't forgiven you yet!"

"Not now!" Matsuri whispered.

Seeing Matsuri's parents following her, Konata backed off.

As more people gathered into the apartment, the atmosphere seemed to thicken. Not just because it was getting a bit crowded.

Everyone was oddly silent as well.

"It's … a nice place, Kagami," Miki said.

Another knock at the door made everybody flinch. Konata opened the door, saw it was Kuroi-sensei, and raised an eyebrow. "Sensei?"

"Hello, Izumi," Kuroi-sensei said. She didn't explain her presence in any way, she just came in and sat down, at Matsuri's side. The parents took a puzzled look at her.

Everyone felt that there was indeed something strange in the atmosphere. They were feeling more and more uncomfortable. Konata brought cups of tea to everyone, which gave everyone something else to do for the moment.

But they were still waiting for someone.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Misao was almost at the door, but she hesitated.

"Darn. I don't want to go in there. It's going to be so awkward," she muttered.

She stopped at the door, looked at her cell phone for the time, and sighed deeply.

"I bet they are all already sitting there, under brooding silence."

At that moment, an idea came into Misao's head. As usual, she didn't stop thinking whether the idea was good or not, just declared, "I'll do it! It's better to get it over quickly. It only hurts once."

The door was unlocked. "Even better."

She cleared her throat and braced herself.

Noisily, as usual, Misao barged in, and kicked the shoes off her feet. And the first thing she did was to shout, "Sorry I'm late! Anyone in here who is not gay, raise their hands!"

Under the brooding silence, her voice sounded much louder than it really was.

Everyone turned to look at Misao in horror.

"Misa-chan!" Tsukasa gasped.

"What the hell you think you are doing?" Kagami screamed at Misao.

Slowly, Miyuki raised her hand. Everyone turned to look at her, then at the others. Looking confused, Tadao, Miki, Sōjirō, and Yukari also raised their hands, but nobody else did.

"Does bi count?" Kuroi-sensei asked.

Konata laughed so hard that she bumped her head onto the table as she doubled over. Soon, her laughter changed into coughs, and then stopped. She didn't raise her head. A few sniffles could be heard. Kagami knew Konata was getting hysterical – she herself wanted just to scream.

After a long, awkward silence, Miki asked, "Can you explain what's going on?" turning at Kagami.

"First, I'm going to kill Misao," Kagami growled, and stood up.

Misao was still standing on the ceremony. She looked pale and was trembling – doing that had actually taken all her courage. Kagami looked at her, took a deep breath, and slumped back onto the floor. "Okay … I won't kill you … come in," she whispered.

With a loud sigh of relief, Misao walked in and knelt onto the floor because her legs wouldn't carry her anymore.

Kagami counted the seconds, until it was clear nobody else would talk.

She took a deep breath, and said, "I think it all started … will you put your hands down already!" she snapped at her parents.

"Sorry …" she said softly, "… I didn't mean to shout at you. Anyway, I think it all started from the moment I first met Konata. No, much before that …"

Kagami told them basically everything. Trying to fight her embarrassment, to stay dead serious, and to place her words as well as she could, she explained how she fell for Konata and why she now thought there was nothing wrong with it.

Everyone listened to her in silence, except for a few times Konata and Misao burst into laughter at some point. The effort of these fifteen minutes left her completely exhausted at the end, and she had to rest her head onto the table.

Her mother Miki patted her back. Her eyes were in tears, and she said, "I can't say I give my blessings or anything like that – yet. Your father and I have to think this over. And Kagami's story didn't explain –" she looked around. "How come _all _of you are … like that? Did we somehow fail as parents?"

"Wait – no need to answer that!" she quickly added, just as both Misao and Konata were about to open their big mouths. "As I said, we need to think."

Tadao just nodded – he still looked quite shocked and couldn't find anything to say.

Tears were flowing on Sōjirō's cheeks. "I didn't bring my camera!" he groaned.

"Dad …" Konata sighed.

"Sorry. Konata, Yu-chan, you all have _my_ sincere blessing! I can honestly say that this is a father's dream come true!" he exclaimed.

"Sōjirō!" Yukari groaned.

"Umm … I meant …" Sōjirō stuttered.

"We need to talk about this. In private," Yukari said empathically, and stood up.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

After their parents had left, the rest were silent for several minutes, until Kagami raised her head, and yelled at Misao, "You are the most obnoxious, most rude, most big-mouthed jackass I know!"

Kagami's fingers were clutching at Misao on the other side of the table, as if she wanted to strangle her.

Tsukasa moved in front of Misao and said, "Sis, Misa-chan did what she thought was for the best."

"Hiiragi, your story was great. And so touching! 'twas, like, a lawyer's concluding speech in one of them TV dramas!" Misao said in admiration.

"That makes me so annoyed! I did all the labor and now you reap the fruits!" Kagami groaned.

Misao burst into laughter.

"Not funny!" Kagami screamed.

"But Kagami, that was great indeed. Even I was crying at some point. I think we got away with it!" Konata said.

"This is not something we 'get away with'!" Kagami groaned. "And you, sis …" she hissed, turning to look at Matsuri. "You hypocrite! You come here, call me a pervert, slap my face, and then go to have a hot make-out session with Kuroi-sensei! Yeah, Tsukasa told me all about it!"

"Did Tsukasa tell you what she did with Misao and Ayano?" Matsuri asked.

"No … what?" Kagami gasped.

"Sorry … I tried to, but I couldn't find the right moment …" Tsukasa muttered, looking guilty.

Misao tried to open her big mouth, but Ayano slapped her palm onto it before she blurted out anything.

"What Tsukasa means to say, that … uhh … she and I and Misao … we … together … you know," Ayano stuttered.

"All of you? All _three_ of you?" Kagami gasped.

"Wow, hot!" Konata exclaimed. Kagami glared at her. "Yo, Kagamin, maybe we should try that too sometime!"

"Konata!" Kagami yelled.

"But, Kagamin –"

"No! Bad Konata!"

"Ooh, are you going to spank me again?" Konata cooed.

"I never did!" Kagami screamed.

Kuroi-sensei laughed. "I would! Izumi deserves a good spanking now and then. Anyway, Yui, I didn't see you raise your hand," she added, turning to Yui.

"Umm, well, I had my … experiments younger, but am I really in your team … not sure," Yui explained.

"Sis!" Yutaka gasped.

"Why so shocked? I know you and Minami are humping like rabbits all the time," Yui said.

Both of the humping rabbits turned bright red.

"Good thing Hiyori-chan isn't here, it's impossible to get bloodstains off the tatami," Konata noted.

"Hey, your parents left before we served any of the food," Kagami said. "And shut up," she added quickly, knowing that Konata would comment on that.

But Konata was thinking of something else. She scratched her head, and said, "I have lost the thread. Who is humping who now? Guys, you'd better review the situation. And can I take notes? For Hiyori? Hey, maybe I should draw one of them charts they make for the anime series –"

"Just bring us the food," Kagami sighed. "And shut up!"

Konata grinned, stood up, and said, "Tsukasa-chan, could you help me with the plates?"

"Sure, Kona-chan."

They spent the rest of the evening eating, playing games, and generally having fun. Misao and Konata competed on how many times they could make the others blush in various ways. Konata got some revenge as Misao described the tryst between Matsuri and Kuroi-sensei in graphic detail. They also tried to pry into Inori's personal life, but to their great annoyance she refused to tell them anything.

"Oh! I just remembered something!" Tsukasa said, as they were gathering their things.

She fished a bottle out of her handbag and placed it onto the table.

"What's that? An old, dented plastic bottle?" Kagami asked.

"This is the bottle we used to play Truth or Dare with," Tsukasa said.

"A cursed object," Kagami said.

"But Kagamin! Think of all the great things that happened because of that game!" Konata exclaimed.

"I'd rather had those things happening in one's own time," Kagami sighed.

"Nothing would have happened!" Misao yelled.

Her voice got much quieter, as she added, "Knowing you guys …" she eyed the Hiiragis and Ayano, "… nothing would have happened …"

Everyone looked at each other – and they knew Misao got a point.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

A week later, the worst storm had settled, and everyone was still at least talking to each other. It was late afternoon, and Kagami was coming home from college.

Yawning, she opened the door to their apartment, walked in and said, "I'm home!"

Konata was lying on her back under the _kotatsu_, starting at the ceiling, her hands spread on the floor, and her cell phone lying beside her.

Kagami walked up to her, but she didn't react. "Konata? How's the dinner – what's wrong?"

"Oh, hi, Kagamin. I'm okay … rice cooker is on … I was just thinking …"

"Thinking? That's new. What would make you think so hard? Trying to decide which anime to watch?"

"No, I'm just thinking whether it will be a boy or a girl."

"What?"

"Dad just called. I'm getting a new little sister or brother."

Kagami had to sit down.

"… how did that happen?"

"Well, when mommy and daddy get in love and get married, then, one night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug – and mommy has this little egg in her tummy –"

"That's not what I meant to ask!" Kagami groaned. "Wasn't she too old to have more children?"

"Apparently not," Konata said.

Kagami crawled under the _kotatsu_, snuggled beside Konata, and rested her head on Konata's chest. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what kind of kid Sōjirō and Yukari would have. "… that brat is going to be even worse than you. An otaku, who is also bad with household chores," she whispered.

"That was mean, Kagami. Think of the good qualities!"

Kagami tried, but couldn't come up with anything. "… which are?"

"Umm …" Konata said.

After a minute, she said, "Oh! She – or he – might be smart. Like Yuki-chan!"

"A smart, lazy otaku … is that any better than a stupid one?"

"… nope … since there's already one stupid, lazy otaku whom you love."

Kagami was silent for a long while, and then she whispered, "Yeah …"

* * *

Oh, how it would be great to be able to use some Finnish sayings, such as "rento kuin rautakanki".

turtlbrdr noted that Kuroi-sensei was present when Miyuki told about her fantasy. Yeah, continuation begins to be a problem with a ridiculously long story like this. (I'm amazed someone else can remember!) I bet Kuroi-sensei herself didn't remember that, until Konata later told her, not remembering that Kuroi had been present. (Confusing?)


	10. Yuri Goggles

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 10: Yuri Goggles**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

kitmaro: …choosing names?!? Darn, that made me realize I introduced an OC! And _everybody hates OCs._ So, which one would you people rather have: a miscarriage or an abortion? Tell me.

Anyway, this chapter is about the new _ninensei_. This is more of introduction and slice of life than the kinky humor stuff. I'm also writing a chapter about Inori (for those who enjoy kinky stuff (^_-)~*), but that will take some time.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

A tall girl, with long brown hair held by two hair pins was standing at the school gate, glaring at the building with her purple-ish eyes. Despite of the spring warmth, she shivered a bit, and sighed deeply_ "So, this is my new school … I wish I wouldn't have to transfer … so what if it's a prestigious one,"_, she thought.

"_But, first of all, I must not let anyone know!"_ she repeated in her mind again. At the last moment, she realized there were several small anime-related figures hanging outside her bag, and she quickly put them in. _"I don't want to only hang out with just the freaks … uhh … so now I think I'm freak too?"_

Bracing herself, she walked towards the building, trying to feel and look confident and cool. _"I'm Izumi Watase, pleased to meet you! I'm not a freak! …"_ she practiced in her mind. _"No, no! I must not blurt out anything like that!"_

Izumi – that being her first name – visited the shoe lockers, and, holding her head up, marched towards the classroom. From the corner of her eye, she saw a tall, green-haired, slim girl and a very small, very cute girl with ribbons in her pink hair, walking together. _"Oh, what a cute pair! Are they holding hands? So moe … no! Stop thinking like an otaku! Stop it!"_ she commanded herself.

Slowly, she started to realize something was not quite right. All the others here looked even more nervous than she felt. And they seemed somehow … younger.

"Yu-chan … what are we doing here?" the tall green-haired girl asked, and stopped on her tracks.

"Oh no! This is the first floor!" the little girl said, and giggled. "Minami-chan, I bet half the others make the same mistake!"

Still trying to look cool, Izumi Watase also turned around and walked towards the stairs.

On the stairs, Yutaka stopped, leaned onto the railing, and sighed deeply. "I'm tired already … and now we'll have to climb much more stairs every day …"

"Lean on my arm, Yu-chan … I will help you … always …" Minami said quietly.

Hiyori was just behind them, but she was unable to greet them when she saw this scene. She just gurgled and tried to find her sketchbook.

"Here," a voice whispered from behind Hiyori. "I will help you with the sketchbook … always …" Patricia continued, and burst into laughter.

Yutaka and Minami turned to look at them. "Oh, hi, Hiyori-chan, Patty-chan!" Yutaka said. "Umm … is something wrong?"

"Oh, don't mind Hiyori. She just got an acute attack of inspiration," Patricia noted, and practically carried Hiyori upstairs as she was sketching frantically.

Izumi Watase was on the stairs behind all these people, looking at the scene wide-eyed. _"Are these all freaks …? They seem to have fun … I never had fun at school …"_

She sighed again, and stopped outside the classroom. She didn't want to go in until the teacher would call her.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Lots of changes in the classes … it's nice that we all are still in the same class at least," Yutaka said, when they had settled down.

A well tanned, blond-haired, golden-eyed girl approached them. She slapped Hiyori's back, making her flinch, and said, "Yo, Hiyori! So these are the friends you have drawn … told so much about! Nice, nice!"

"Kō-san, please don't do that while I'm drawing," Hiyori muttered.

"But you weren't inking," the girl called Kō noted. "This little one must be Yutaka-chan, and you are her famous protector, Minami-chan."

Minami just glared at the girl through narrowed eyes.

"Oh, what a great expression! You really are scary!" Kō exclaimed, and raised her palms, as if protecting herself from Minami's glare.

Kō turned to look at Patricia. "Hey, you! Wow! Oh my, those really are big! Just like Hiyori draws 'em!" she exclaimed, looking at Patricia's chest region.

"Who gave you permission to admire my boobs?" Patricia muttered.

"Sorry … I just notice things like that, 'cause I'm the president," Kō explained. "Of the Animation Research Club! Would any of you like to join? Although, thanks to Hiyori, we are already getting tons of new members. This year, we are going to make an entire anime episode!"

Hiyori banged her head onto the desk, and groaned, "Last year, she wanted me to draw twenty-four frames per second!"

Yutaka's eyes widened in surprise, and she exclaimed, "Whoa! How could anybody draw that fast?"

"I kept telling her anime is not made that way, but she just didn't listen!" Hiyori muttered.

"I aimed for perfection! Your heart was obviously not into it. That's why you failed!" Kō exclaimed.

"I didn't fail! Nobody could have done that! I drew two seconds of animation, and then my hand cramped so badly that I couldn't draw anything for two weeks."

"Don't worry, this year will be different. We are going digital," Kō said.

"You said there will be tons of new members. Can I please resign this club now?" Hiyori muttered.

"Of course not. You are essential to our club! But I'll make you the artistic director … assistant artistic director! You just need to draw the characters and the others will animate it on computers."

"Students, please return to your seats!" a commanding voice said.

"Kuroi-sensei!" the four friends yelled.

"I am Nanako Kuroi, the homeroom teacher for this class – what is it, Yu-chan?"

"Sensei, please don't call me Yu-chan! I'm a second year student now!" Yutaka said.

"Sorry, Kobayakawa. You just are so small and cute that I couldn't help it."

Yutaka pouted, and exclaimed, "Sensei! Please … anyway, I wanted to ask, where should we sit?"

"Everyone, just sit anywhere you want," Kuroi said.

After the students had all sat down, she added, "Okay! This will be where you shall be sitting for the rest of this term!"

The class muttered and murmured. Fortunately the friends had taken seats close to each other.

"Fill up your name in this chart! Oh, and we have a new transfer student", she added, looking at the door. "Come in!"

A tall girl, with long brown hair held by two hair pins was standing there, looking around with purple-red eyes.

"_Moe_!" both Hiyori and Patricia gasped. Hiyori quickly turned a new page of her sketchbook and started drawing frantically.

"I'm afraid I forgot to look up your name. Come on in, please, and introduce yourself! Don't fear, I won't bite you … hard," Kuroi-sensei said, and laughed.

Hesitantly, the tall girl walked to the lectern, bowed, and said, "I am Izumi Watase –"

Kuroi-sensei burst into laughter again, as did Yutaka, her friends, and half of the entire class.

Izumi Watase turned bright red. "Umm …"

"S-sorry, Watase-kun! It's just … there was someone named Izumi in this school, and she … he he," Kuroi-sensei explained. "Class, please stop laughing. That's rude! And it's not even her surname!"

"So, Izumi Watase, where are you from?" Kuroi-sensei asked, when the class had calmed down a bit.

Stuttering a bit, Izumi explained where she was from. Thankfully, Kuroi-sensei let off the hook after that. The only free desk happened to be next to Patricia, so she sat down there after finishing the introduction.

"Sorry about that," Patricia said. "I'm Patricia Martin. Nice to meet you. The thing is, we have this friend called Izumi – she graduated this spring, though."

"I'm Izumi Watase …" Izumi said. It took some time before she realized the foreigner had spoken adequate Japanese.

"Are you an otaku too?" Hiyori asked Izumi.

"No! I'm not! Definitely not!" Izumi shouted.

Kuroi-sensei was glaring at her, and yelled, "Quiet, please!"

"Don't worry, Izumi-chan. Kuroi-sensei is really nice," Yutaka whispered. "She might hit you on the head, though, if you sleep in class."

"Well well, Izumi – I mean, Watase – since you are already making a lot of noise, why don't you be the class rep for this term?" Kuroi-sensei said.

"Oh. I was a class rep back in my previous school … I guess it's okay … but I don't know this school and the people," Izumi muttered.

"Izumi-chan – sorry, I guess it can't be helped. Everyone will call you Izumi… What I wanted to say, is that me and Minami-chan will be happy to introduce you to everyone and show you around the school," Yutaka said.

"Izumi, c-could you turn your head slightly to the right again! That profile looked so great!" Hiyori gasped.

"Hiyori, you are drooling onto the page," Patricia said, and handed a handkerchief to her. "That's Hiyori Tamura. She's a doujin artist."

"I can see that …" Izumi said.

"Hey! If you got married to Izumi, would your name be Izumi Izumi?" Kō asked.

"I guess …" Izumi muttered.

"That's Kō Yasaka, president of the Animation Research Club," Patricia explained.

"Wanna join?" Kō asked with enthusiasm.

"N-no …" Izumi gasped. _"A-animation research … yes, yes, oh yes I would love to join!"_ she shouted in her mind.

"And I am Yutaka Kobayakawa and this is Minami Iwasaki," Yutaka said.

Minami made a grunt which was probably meant as a greeting.

Patricia giggled. "Oh, hey, Yu-chan, I heard what your big sister said, about two rabbits –"

"Patty-chan! Please!" Yutaka shouted, interrupting her.

"There! Great! This is just great!" Hiyori yelled, and showed the sketch to the others.

"But I don't play guitar," Izumi said.

"I just had to add it! You look so much like Mio. Or Azusa. Patty-chan, do you have the cat ears with you? I must see them on Izumi!" Hiyori said.

"Hiyori, I've got an even better idea! Maid outfit!" Patricia exclaimed.

Hiyori quickly pinched her nose and started to look for a handkerchief.

Izumi felt dizzy. "Is it always like this?" she muttered.

"Oh no – you haven't seen anything yet!" Patricia said, and grinned.

"You mean … it gets worse?"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

At lunch hour, they were waiting in the line at the school cafeteria.

"So, Izumi, what are you getting?" Patricia asked.

"I can't say," Izumi said.

"Why not?"

"Because if I say it aloud, it's always sold out just when it's my turn," Izumi said.

"Your life sounds like it's from some anime," Hiyori noted.

"No, it doesn't! … I mean, how would I know?" Izumi groaned.

The others took a puzzled look at Izumi.

"Anyway, I'm getting spaghetti and meatballs!" Patricia announced. "Reminds me of home, 'cept it tastes fishy. Since you guys put kelp and fish broth in everything. Doesn't bother me, but it's strange."

Patricia giggled. "Now that I thought of that … even the people in here taste fishy!" she said, and winked at Hiyori.

The manga artist blushed, and whispered, "Don't say such things so loudly…"

Izumi had no time to notice anything, because it was her turn to order. "Kitsune udon, please."

"I'm very sorry, but we ran out of fried tofu," the cashier said.

"Good, because what I actually wanted to order was curry udon!" Izumi said, smiling in triumph. "See?" she said, looking at the others.

"That's … weird," Yutaka said. "But not nearly as weird as cousin … I mean, Konata Izumi. She's my cousin, the Izumi everyone in the school still talks about."

"So she is a fr– I mean, otaku?" Izumi asked.

"Yes, she's definitely a hard-core otaku," Yutaka agreed, and added quickly, "But she's a wonderful person! Everybody loves her."

Yutaka's friends looked at her and at each other, but none of them had the heart to disagree.

Carrying the trays of food, they sat down at a table.

"Patty-chan," Yutaka whispered to her hear, "Maybe we shouldn't tell Izumi everything today … all of it might be too shocking at once. Since she isn't even familiar with _yuri_ anime and manga …"

Patty nodded, and whispered the same thing to Hiyori.

Izumi looked at them suspiciously. "Why are you whispering? I got a feeling it's about me."

"Sorry, Izumi-chan. It was not really about you," Yutaka said. "It's … about us."

"Us?"

"We'll tell you all … in time …" Yutaka muttered. "Sorry."

Izumi eyed her new friends for a while, and said, "It's okay … it's not like I'm telling everything about myself at once."

"Oo, Izumi has dark secrets!" Kō exclaimed.

Izumi decided to concentrate on her food for now.

"Look, she's not denying it!" Kō hissed, and stared at Izumi.

"Kō-chan, give her a break. I know I wouldn't tell you anything if I had only just met you," Hiyori said.

"You can tell me everything! Your dark secrets are safe with me! I'm the good guy! Hiyori always draws me as the good guy in the club manga!" Kō exclaimed.

"That's only because you force me to do that," Hiyori muttered.

Izumi stopped eating as she realized something. _"I ended up with the freaks anyway! … but they seem to be really nice people …"_

She allowed a little smile to appear on her lips.

Hiyori started to cough and pulled out her sketchbook again.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The first day of school was over. _"At least I got friends immediately … even if they are freaks … and nobody found out!"_

Nothing would calm her nerves more than a visit to Akiba, so she took the train into that direction.

"_W-what … the foreigner and the manga artist? Of course they would be going there too … I just have to make sure they don't see me …"_ she thought, as she saw Patricia and Hiyori sitting ahead of her.

Quietly, she stood up and moved into another car. There were no seats available, so she had to stand for the rest of the trip.

As she had guessed, Patricia and Hiyori left the train at Akiba. Izumi waited until the last moment before getting out.

Despite that she had to avoid her classmates, being in Akiba made her feel much better. She knew this trip would be a drain on her purse, but it would be worth of every yen.

"Oh, and that new cosplay store … I must go there first!" she muttered. Not that she usually had a chance to cosplay.

"_So they thought I looked like Mio Akiyama or Azusa Nakano. Maybe that store has the K-*n! school uniform. Would be silly to buy another school uniform, though …"_ she thought. Of course, she had known perfectly well what they had been referring to in the class. Naturally, she had bought all the available manga, anime, and soundtracks of it.

She had arrived at the new cosplay store and went inside. Her eyes shined as she looked around, not knowing at first where to start. "Ah, the school uniforms!" she muttered.

"_It's rather mainstream slice, though … except for the implied yuri. I wonder how it would feel without any yuri goggles …"_ Izumi thought, as she was browsing through the school uniform rack.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she saw Patricia and Hiyori entering the shop. _"Oh no!"_

Quickly, Izumi dashed into a fitting-room and pulled the curtain close.

"Patty-chan, please don't make me wear anything weird again," Hiyori said.

"But I love seeing you in kinky outfits!" Patricia exclaimed.

"Patty-chan … don't say such things that loud …" Hiyori whispered.

Patricia giggled, and said, this time only slightly more quietly, "I especially like to rip those outfits off of you and –"

"Patty-chan!" Hiyori gasped.

Izumi peeked through the curtain and saw that Patricia had her arms around Hiyori, and was about to kiss her. "Whoa!" she gasped. Patricia and Hiyori turned to look at her, but she managed to pull the curtain close before they saw her. _"No need for yuri goggles!"_ she thought.

"Patty-chan, someone saw us already … can't you keep your hands off of me in public …" Hiyori whispered.

"Sorry, I forgot all the local rules during our trip to the States," Patricia said.

"Yeah, well … umm … it was great ... when I got used to it … but it's embarrassing in here …" Hiyori muttered.

"Okay, but when we get to our place, you're going to get it!" Patricia exclaimed. Hiyori yelped and turned bright red. "O-oh …" she gasped.

"_Okay, guys. That's too much. … I got it already!"_ Izumi screamed in her mind.

After Hiyori and Patricia had gone away, she left the shop. At the moment, she was not in the mood for looking at anything else.

"I wonder what else is going on in my class …" Izumi muttered.

The little smile returned onto her lips.

* * *

Of course I was just making a cruel joke about the baby. I couldn't do anything like that in this story, even to an OC, and definitely not to a baby. So must I just wrap the story up before the baby comes out?

This is mostly canon, as far as I know, although Izumi Watase was not a transfer student originally. All the friends end up in the same class for the second year. Kuroi-sensei is their new homeroom teacher. Izumi Watase became the class rep. Kō Yasaka is the Animation Research Club president, although in the canon they don't seem to be making anime, but manga.


	11. Better Safe Than Sorry

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 11: Better Safe Than Sorry**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

For a chance, I wanted to try a little chapter of pure fluff and lemon. We return to the night when the parents found out (Chapter 9). Thanks to Silencian for mentioning the "Silent Miko", that gave me the idea.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters (nor any of the songs mentioned). This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"_Why didn't I raise my hand?"_

Hearing about Matsuri, Kagami, Konata, and, apparently, most of their friends also being gay was such a great shock that she was unusually quiet for the rest of the evening.

"_I am straight! I am normal! … Am I? …"_

She just listened to the others' stories. Since everyone else had now come out of the closet, they felt free to talk about their personal life.

"_Disgusting … filthy …"_

However, she couldn't excuse herself. Even when it was embarrassing, even when it made her so uncomfortable, she had to listen. For they were telling about things she had only dreamed about.

"… _I wonder what it feels like …"_

If they had just knew that the eldest sister was the most innocent of them all. Never even kissed anyone. Would they tease her to no end? Maybe. Or would they be sympathetic? Heck, everyone seemed so experienced now. Everyone, except her.

"_Humping like rabbits …? What does that mean?"_

And all of them were taken already. She went into the toilet and sighed deeply. Yeah, no love for the eldest sister. She felt like the evil stepsister, while the younger ones were all Cinderellas. So happy and content. No, she wasn't jealous, really. Just … pining.

"_That does it! I need to find out, once and for all. And I think I know someone who can help me …"_ Inori thought.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The Sunday evening at Kagami's apartment was finally over, and everyone was leaving. Tsukasa and her other friends were going to get a late night snack, while Miyuki said that she wanted to study, and said goodbye.

She was walking along the street, in deep thoughts, and flinched as a voice said, "Yo, Takara!"

Miyuki swung around and saw the eldest Hiiragi sister staring at her. "Oh, hello, Inori-san."

"So you are the smart one?" Inori asked.

"Oh!" Miyuki gasped. "No, not at all! I'm not a genius or anything, I mean … I –"

"Yes, you are. Becoming a doctor and all," Inori said, and walked closer. "And Kagami said you're smart. So don't try to deny it!"

She grabbed Miyuki's hand and started dragging her along. "Come. I need to talk to you."

"S-sure, Inori-san … where are we going?"

"I don't know, actually. Is there a place where we can talk in private?" Inori said, and looked around. "Ah! That's perfect!" she exclaimed, and dragged Miyuki towards the karaoke joint.

"Inori-san! N-not there, please! We can't go there!" Miyuki gasped, and tried to hit the brakes. The thought of a karaoke box made her flustered. "I'm straight!"

This made Inori stop. "What did you say?"

"N-nothing … it's just … I, umm …" Miyuki stuttered.

"Karaoke and dinner are on me! You don't have to sing if you don't want to. I just need to talk you about something, in private. Well, maybe I'll sing a bit – it would be a waste to hire a box and not to use it," Inori said, and forced Miyuki to walk on.

Miyuki's good girl reflexes made her stop resisting. "_A karaoke box. The sound of the beat from the other boxes. That special atmosphere. My favorite fantasy coming true? No, that's just Inori-san, the eldest of the Hiiragi sisters. She couldn't intend to do anything like that? I don't even know her… and she's a … woman …"_

She stared at Inori, who was paying for their stay and the drinks. "What would you like to have, Miyuki?"

Miyuki snapped out of her thoughts, and said, "Oh, ice tea would be fine …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Inori sipped her cola, placed the can onto the table, and stretched her arms. "Ah … I think I'll sing something first, then we can talk."

Before she picked up the catalogue, she became aware of a sound, probably from the next box. It sounded a bit like someone was slaughtering a pig.

"What's that terrible noise?"

Miyuki listened to it for a while, and said, "I think it's Misao – Kusakabe-san."

"So they came here as well. Ah well, I'd better sing something so that we won't have to hear that," Inori said, and used the remote to select the song.

"_There Must Be an Angel?_ Isn't that really difficult, Inori-san?_" _Miyuki said, looking surprised.

"Well, you know, I used to sing in the church choir … actually took singing lessons as well," Inori explained.

With some difficulty, Inori made it through the trills of the song. Miyuki listened through the performance, completely enthralled. She felt as if an actual angel had actually landed into the karaoke box and was performing for her.

"Oh … that was incredible, Inori-san. You are so great …" Miyuki gasped.

"Nonsense, I'm just an amateur," Inori said, sat down and drank some more cola. "That was fun, but I've got to catch my breath … Besides, I had something I needed to talk about."

"What is it you want to talk about, Inori-san?" Miyuki asked.

"First … as a doctor, you have that professional discretion or whatever it was?" Inori said.

"Umm, I'm not at all a doctor yet, Inori-san, so I can't consider you as my patient –"

"Well, if you just promise you won't tell anyone about this, it's fine," Inori interrupted her.

"O-okay … I promise I won't tell."

"You know, today … what Kusakabe did … I didn't raise my hand," Inori said quietly. She had turned much more serious.

"Oh!" Miyuki gasped. "D-do you mean that … umm …"

"No, not really. The thing is … I don't know!"

"You don't know whether you are … uh, gay?"

"Yeah. How does one find out something like that?"

Miyuki's blush turned deeper. "Umm … I think … have you ever been in l-love?"

Inori stared at space for a while, and then turned her gaze at Miyuki again. "Actually, no. I don't think so."

"In that case, eh … do you like looking at girls … or boys?"

"I like to look at anyone who is good-looking," Inori said. Then she smiled, and winked her eye. "I'm looking at one now!"

Miyuki let out a nervous giggle, and said, "I-I don't really know, then … how does one find out? I myself kissed Hiiragi-san … I mean, your little sister Tsukasa, and –"

"What? You made out with my sister!" Inori gasped.

"Sorry, Inori-san! We were just fooling around, playing a game. It wasn't anything serious –"

Inori started to laugh, interrupting Miyuki's explanations. "Hey, I'm not mad at you. Not at all. Heck, if Tsukasa wasn't my sister, _I_ would kiss her. She's very cute!"

"Oh. I'm relieved …"

Inori looked at Miyuki's eyes, and then she grinned. "I know! Let's make out! That's how we find out!"

"B-but Inori-san!"

"What, don't you want to make out with me? Am I so ugly?"

"No, not at all! You are gorgeous, Inori-san. But I am straight. I don't fancy girls …" Miyuki gasped.

"Are you sure?"

Miyuki looked thoughtful, and then she said, "N-no, not really … I don't have that much experience."

"So, let's try it. That way we can be sure," Inori said.

"O-okay. I guess there's no harm in testing … it. H-how should we, ahem ..."

Miyuki gulped.

"Stand up," Inori said. "Unless you want to lie down on the couch?"

"I-I'll … lie down … m-my legs feel kind of weak at the moment …" she whispered.

Inori grinned and stood up, giving Miyuki room to lie down. "Maybe I should take my glasses off …" Miyuki whispered.

"Yeah, they could become misty …" Inori said, not quite knowing what she was saying any more.

Miyuki pulled the glasses off her eyes and stretched her hand to place them onto the table. Inori grabbed her hand and pulled it above Miyuki's head, holding her down. She sat down onto the couch beside Miyuki and bent over her. Using her free hand, she gently brushed a few strands of pink hair off her face, and just stared at her for a full minute.

Being held down and stared at with such intensity made Miyuki's heart pound. She imagined being tied down and unable to move at all. This was one of her favorite fantasies, and now it had almost became reality, in addition to the fact that they were in a karaoke box.

"You are so pretty …" Inori whispered.

Slowly, she stroke Miyuki's cheek with the tips of her fingers. She traced Miyuki's jaw and twirled her fingers around her ear, gently rubbing the earlobe.

"It tickles …" Miyuki whispered. Yes, it did tickle, but those warm fingers also left a tingling feeling in their wake.

Slowly, inch by inch, Inori moved closer, staring directly at Miyuki's eyes. Unwittingly, Miyuki inhaled Inori's scent deeply – it was sweet, spicy, and the slight aroma of sweat only made it better. She couldn't stop a little moan escaping from her lips, as Inori tilted her head and moved closer and closer … and delaying the inevitable kiss until the anticipation became almost unbearable. Inori's hand was now caressing the side of her neck.

Very, very gently, Inori's lips brushed against hers. Hungrily, Miyuki pushed her head up, aching for more contact. Inori responded passionately, and tilted her head left and right, rubbing her face against Miyuki's and crushing her lips. Inori was squeezing her wrist so hard that it felt almost painful, until she seemed to realize what she was doing and loosened the grip somewhat.

Inori threw her legs over Miyuki and rolled onto the top of her, pressing her entire body against her. Miyuki spread her legs, jerked her hand free from Inori's grasp and wrapped both her legs and arms around Inori. The sudden full contact made Inori gasp. As she parted her lips, Miyuki's tongue quickly slipped in.

Inori's eyes opened wide, but she quickly caught on and responded with her own tongue.

They both lost all sense of time. Miyuki could only concentrate on Inori's body against her, her lips, her probing tongue, and roaming hands. It was overwhelming, it felt marvelous, but – it was just physical pleasure.

After several minutes had passed, Inori mumbled, "Hmph. Is this all?"

Inori's face was pressed against Miyuki's chest, dangerously close to her cleavage – several of Miyuki's shirt buttons had somehow been opened during their make out session.

"W-what … else would you l-like to do?" Miyuki gasped, almost panicking.

"No, I didn't mean that, just … this is awesome, but I have the feeling that something is missing," Inori said, and raised her head.

"I know how you feel. That was really, really nice, but not … fulfilling," Miyuki agreed.

Inori got off of Miyuki and they both sat down on the couch.

"Darn. Have you tried any of this with the boys?"

"N-no …"

"In that case, you should. Maybe I should try a boy as well. Who knows, maybe it really feels better than this? Better safe than sorry!"

"Umm, Inori-san, I think you meant something like 'you never know till you try'."

"You _are_ a genius! Wanna go out someday together, to meet boys? … Yuki-chan?"

Miyuki looked thoughtful for a while, and finally said, "Yes. I would like to. That would be great … Inori."

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Inori said, and slapped Miyuki's back. "And now, let's sing!" she exclaimed.

* * *

Lemon isn't something I usually write, so this was good practice.

Inori's song is a famous hit by Eurythmics from the 80's.


	12. Slices of Life

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 12: Slices of Life**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

Almost nothing happens in this chapter.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Konata! Wake up!" Kagami yelled. "You are sleeping at the computer again!"

Konata flinched and raised her head from the keyboard. The keys had pressed a pattern onto her forehead. On the computer screen there was a text document, seemingly containing endless pages of the character 'tsu'.

"Oh, hi, Kagami. I dozed off," Konata stated the obvious.

"You should study and not play games," Kagami nagged. "You spend all night on the computer these days."

"I'm not playing games all the time! I was … umm … what I was doing? I was supposed to look for a van … to rent."

"Van?"

"Yeah, for summer Comiket!"

"Are you planning to buy so much that you need a van to transport it!" Kagami yelled.

"Actually … yes, I am!"

"You can't be serious!"

"No, it's not for me … mostly."

"What?"

"You know how I earned four hundred grand from the stuff I bought at last Comiket? Actually, six hundred grand, I've been selling the rest lately."

Kagami raised an eyebrow. "You are earning that much?"

"Yeah, everybody wants to buy from me. It's thanks to years of hard work in the otaku circles!"

"More like years of slacking off," Kagami muttered.

"Many of the important circles are contacting me. They want me to become a distributor."

"If you earned two hundred grand just like that … you are earning as much as I as a trainee … when I'm closer to graduation … which is, like four years from now!" Kagami groaned.

"Yeah, isn't it great?" Konata said, and grinned.

"It's unfair …" Kagami sighed. "Anyway, come to bed, please."

"Oh! Kagamin!" Konata gasped.

"I didn't mean anything like that … I just want to sleep … except that now I'm fully awake."

"Good, because I need to talk with you. We hardly even see each other these days. Let me fix a cup of tea."

After they had sat down at the table, Konata said, "I need you at Comiket as well."

"But I hate Comiket!"

"I know there are a few doujin you like …" Konata said, and winked an eye. "Besides, we don't need to mix in with the crowd any more. I've got a dealer pass for us."

"Dealer?"

"Yeah, I'm collecting loads of manga from my contacts. That's why I need that van."

"A van full of doujins?"

"That's right. Selling them later makes … about three million in profit. On the average."

"Three million!"

This was hard to swallow. Konata, a lazy otaku, was already becoming more successful than her.

"Don't mind, Kagamin. You know, this might be the only thing I'm suited for."

Kagami looked up and into Konata's eyes. Then she smiled. "Okay. I'll just have to accept it …"

"And don't worry, I'm going to spend lots of it on you as well, mai waifu!"

"Uh. Just put it aside in the bank. I'm …" Kagami cleared her throat. "I'm happy with things as they are …"

"Kagamin …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next Friday, Kagami and Konata were walking home together – by chance, they had left college at the same time and met on the street. Konata said her legs were tired, and they sat down on a park bench. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and lots of other people were enjoying the weather in the park.

"I have a surprise for you, Kagamin!" Konata announced.

"Darn. I know that tone. What have you done now?" Kagami groaned.

"What? Since when I have done anything weird?"

"Since the time we first met!"

"Yeah, okay. Anyway, we are having a double date tomorrow. Tsukasa is coming too, with Ayano and Misao. Umm … so it's not a double date, it's a triple date … no, not a triple date … a quadruple date? No, it's five people … so it's … what comes after quadruple?" Konata asked.

"Quintuple. But I wanted to have some time with you alone …" Kagami sighed.

"Oh, we are just having dinner with them, after that it's just the two of us. I'll take you somewhere," Konata said, and winked an eye.

"I guess it's another surprise?" Kagami said.

"Oh yeah."

Kagami chuckled. She remembered more than one of Konata's surprises. Even when most of them had ended up in some kind of disaster, they had been … fun. Most of the time.

After a while, Kagami muttered, "So. Tsukasa, Ayano, and Misao. All three being together. That's so weird. I can't even imagine it …"

She blushed, because unwittingly she had started to imagine it now.

"… oh yeah … that must be really something," Konata sighed. "I still think we too should try –" Konata was interrupted.

"No, and that's final," Kagami announced.

"You didn't even let me finish!" Konata protested.

"I can guess what you were about to say because of that lewd grin you had again," Kagami said. "Anyway," she continued, "I could have understood my sister being with Ayano. But Misao … isn't she just an extra? Ayano didn't just want to leave her best friend out?"

"Well, I bet Misao is really wild in b–" Konata was interrupted again.

"That's not what I want to talk about! In fact, let's stop talking about them … this is the wrong place, I think a few people were already staring at us … and I need time to think about all this."

"So there's still hope that we too could try a threeso–"

"No!"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yahoo! Tsukasa-chan, Ayano-chan, Fang-chan!" Konata shouted.

Misao said, "Watch out, squirt. Yes, it is a fang and it's a sharp one!"

"Just joking, Misa-chan. If Tsukasa-chan likes you, well – I can forgive all your past transgressions!" Konata announced.

Misao said, "What did I ever do to you? But, okay …"

She added, "Oh, I still don't like you, Izumi!" but she was smiling as she said it.

"The feeling is mutual," Konata said, and smiled as well.

"So, Izumi. You said it's going to be your treat?" Misao asked.

"Yeah, I know you college students are totally penniless, so I'll have to."

"Konata, you are a college student too!" Kagami groaned.

"And a successful businesswoman!" Konata said, strutting proudly.

At the moment Konata looked like anything but a successful businesswoman. All the others burst into laughter.

"Hey!" Konata exclaimed, trying to look hurt. "Maybe I'll take you to M*D*nalds instead of M*rimoto if you are like that!"

"M*rimoto? I'm a huge fan! I watched every episode of Ir*n Ch*f!" Ayano gasped. "Are you really taking us there?"

"I am! I'm practically a regular!" Konata announced.

"We've been there twice, I think …" Kagami corrected.

"But, work before pleasure! Or pleasure before pleasure in this case!" Konata said.

"I'm afraid to ask – no, I don't even need to, knowing you!" Kagami groaned.

"So?" Konata asked, looking at Kagami.

"Akiba?"

"You know me well."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Konata and Kagami left Tsukasa, Misao, and Ayano sitting on a couch while they browsed the floors of a big animanga department store.

"Konata, you have turned me into an otaku," Kagami sighed.

Suddenly, Konata dashed off, having seen someone she recognized.

"Hey! You!" Konata yelled, making several people to turn to look.

"Konata, don't yell like that … it's embarrassing," Kagami muttered.

Heedlessly, Konata exclaimed, "I have seen you somewhere!" while walking towards Izumi Watase.

Izumi quickly put the manga back onto the shelf. She had recognized Konata right away. _"Legendary Girl A!"_ she thought. "Oh no, I hope she doesn't remember me from Comiket … we didn't meet face to face and I was cosplaying, so –"

"You are in Yu-chan's class, aren't you?" Konata said.

"Yu-chan?" Izumi said.

"Yutaka Kobayakawa. She's my cousin. I'm Konata Izumi," Konata explained.

"Oh, … yes, I am the class rep of Kobayakawa-san's class … I-Izumi – I mean, I'm Izumi Watase," Izumi stuttered.

Konata burst into laughter. "Hey, if we got married, your name would be Izumi Izumi!"

Kagami glared at Konata. "That's not funny."

"But sadly we can't get married, because this is mai waifu Kagami Hiiragi!" Konata announced, gesturing at Kagami. Again, a few heads turned and people stared at them.

"Mai … waifu …" Izumi gasped.

Kagami grabbed Konata's shoulder, and hissed, "Konata, please keep your voice down."

"Oh, sorry, Kagamin. I'm just so happy that you are mai waifu that I want to tell everyone …" Konata whispered.

Kagami sighed. "Pleased to meet you, Watase-san. Sorry about that. It must be a shock …"

"N-no …" Izumi gasped. "I do enjoy yuri – I mean, I don't have anything against lesbians! I mean, uhh …"

Fortunately Konata wasn't paying full attention and didn't catch the obvious otaku word. "Yeah, you must have gotten used to it, since there's more than one pairing in your class already! Did you know about Patty-chan and Hiyori-chan? And my cousin and Minami-chan?"

"No – I mean, not really … t-they did seem very close – I didn't think –" Izumi stuttered, and wiped her forehead.

"Konata, you're totally embarrassing her. Let's just drop this subject," Kagami said.

"Okay. See you later, Izumi! Feel free to come over if you want to study with Yu-chan or something," Konata said.

"Konata, you aren't living there anymore," Kagami reminded her.

"Oh. That's right. Anyway, see ya!"

"B-bye, Hiiragi-san, Izumi-san …" Izumi muttered. She was frozen and staring at the departing pair of girls, wide-eyed.

After they had gone, she did what she often did when she needed to talk to someone. She pressed the quick select to call her brother.

"Bro? I'm getting a bit scared. All the girls who have attended this school have become … weird," she whispered into the phone.

"_Weird?"_

"Yeah, they … umm, sort of … i-it's …" Izumi stuttered. She just couldn't say it directly, not even to her dear brother. So she tried a roundabout way. "They all hang out even after graduating …"

"_But isn't that great? You might also make close friends in that school."_

"No! I mean … f-friends, yeah. Sure …"

"_Are you okay?"_

"Fine. I'm just fine. Oops, got to go. I'll talk you later," Izumi said, closed the phone, and sighed. _"Uh … that was awkward. I hope he forgets about this call …"_

"_I guess there are things I can't even talk to my brother about, now!"_

Despite the shock, she felt a bit excited. Before this, she had talked to her brother about everything. Maybe she was becoming a bit more independent. _"I can't rely on my brother forever. He has a life of his own and he's not going to marry me – uh, what am I thinking?"_

Izumi shivered, shrugged her shoulders, and walked on.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"… and Long Island Iced Tea is forbidden!" Konata finished her terms for treating all the four other girls.

"Darn. I've heard stories about its effects on people. I would have liked to try it!" Misao complained.

"No!" the others yelled in unison.

"We all know what you are like if you drink any," Kagami said. "They would throw us all out."

"But, but, alcohol is great! None of us might have gotten together without alcohol," Misao claimed.

Kagami rolled her eyes. For a while, she had managed to forget how things were.

"Misa-chan, Ayano-chan, I need to go to the ladies' room," Tsukasa said.

"Me too!" Misao said.

"I'll come along with you," Ayano said. "Excuse us for a while."

After the others were gone, Konata said, "Kagami, I know that look. You remembered what your sister and those two are up to. Let's just have fun and not think about it tonight."

For a while, Kagami stared at Konata with her mouth open.

"R-right … Konata, that sounded … mature. But …"

"Yeah?"

Kagami grimaced, and continued, "You, behaving like an adult. I know I've been pestering you to do that for years …"

Konata chuckled. "My Kagamin, never satisfied. Not in bed nor outside of it!"

"Right, just behave like an adult! I am satisfied!" Kagami groaned.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Magical Land?" Kagami asked.

"Yes! And it's my treat," Konata said.

"So childish …" Kagami muttered, but she couldn't help smiling a bit.

"I know you love this place," Konata noted, and nudged Kagami.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever …"

For the next couple of hours, they tried a few rides and naturally spent a lot of time at the arcade, where Konata beat Kagami in most of the games.

"At least I rode the rollercoaster and you chickened out," Kagami muttered, after she had been beaten in a beat-em-up game for the sixth time.

"I'm no good with such rides. It would have been a waste," Konata said.

"A waste?"

"Waste of the dinner we ate. It would have came out –"

"Yechh, stop right there."

"Anyway. There's one more ride which we must take together!" Konata announced.

"I hope it isn't anything too rough. I just stuffed myself with cotton candy and snacks …"

"Don't worry, this one won't make either of us throw up," Konata said. "… or if it does, I'm going to be really upset," she added, and giggled.

Kagami glared at her with suspicion.

Konata pointed at a direction and said, "There it is!"

"'Tunnel of Love'," Kagami read the sign. "Oh. That's …"

Konata looked at her expectantly.

"… uhh … weird?"

"No, no, Kagami. Romantic! It's romantic!" Konata declared.

"All right. Romantic …" Kagami sighed.

Konata paid for them and they sat onto a boat, which started gliding through the dark tunnel.

"Why did you take me into this sleazy place? It even smells … I don't want to think of what …" Kagami muttered.

Konata rested her head on Kagami's shoulder and wrapped her arm around her.

"Because this is a place where some college boy might have taken you. I didn't want you to miss this experience just because we both are girls."

Kagami chuckled. "I don't think I have missed anything … I would have refused if a boy had asked me here."

"I'm happy to hear that …" Konata whispered.

Kagami blushed, because she realized the place was actually making her feel romantic. _Deredere_, as Konata would say. "Uh … this is embarrassing."

"Kagamin, you are blushing … maybe this place actually works …"

"I hoped you wouldn't see that in this darkness."

"You know why this place is so dark?"

"I can guess – no, you don't need to demonstrate! Keep your hands off! It tickles!"

"But Kagami, we have to make out in the Tunnel of Love! That's what it is all about!"

"… all right, then. Just keep your pants on," Kagami said, and wrapped her hands around Konata.

Konata burst into laughter.

"I didn't mean it like that! That was just a figure of speech!" Kagami said, but she started to laugh as well.

"Kagami, this is serious," Konata said, but she was grinning widely.

"Okay …"

They concentrated on each other for the next couple of minutes. But then, a strange commotion started to be heard from behind.

"What's that noise?" Kagami whispered.

"Sounds like … uh, someone doing the same what we were just doing. But … they do it louder …" Konata whispered back.

They turned to look back, and saw not two but three persons occupying a boat and obviously having a lot of fun. It looked a bit dangerous, as the boat was rocking from side to side.

"I think it's your sister and her two babes," Konata whispered. "I think I saw them in the park earlier."

"If Misao is there, that explains the noise – wait, my sister is …! I didn't want to see that! I didn't want to hear that!" Kagami groaned.

Konata giggled. "I guess it can't be helped."

"They ruined the mood …" Kagami sighed.

"Well, at least you got into the mood, snugglemuffin," Konata whispered.

"Don't call me that, it hurts my teeth."

* * *

Of course I had to test it; Tsu (っ) is what I got when I rested my forehead on the keyboard. Probably it also depends on what program you are using (this was JWPce).

Remember that Konata is talking about yen, not dollars.

Izumi Watase's character profile says that she has a, uh, brother complex (ブラコン). In the manga she's talking to her brother over the phone all the time. Well, LS has some … weird stuff, like Konata's dad.

Tsukasa, Ayano, and Misao in the ladies' room – another of the M-rated side stories, maybe?


	13. Dumped!

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 13: Dumped!**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Misao yawned. This Saturday morning, Ayano had asked her over the phone to accompany her and Tsukasa to the mall. But she was supposed to study for the big test next week, so she declined, reluctantly. But of course, after fifteen minutes of study, she was already utterly bored, and had decided to go anyway. She had forgotten her cell phone at home, but she knew Ayano and Tsukasa were bound to come to look at these shops, so she just sat on a bench nearby.

Indeed, she soon heard Ayano and Tsukasa approaching. Before she made her presence known, she heard Ayano saying, "But it's good that she's getting more responsible, though. I was getting a bit worried already."

"How so?" Tsukasa asked.

"_Are they talking about me? Interesting. I think I'll listen to this before letting them know I'm here," _Misao thought, and hid behind a plastic potted plant. She couldn't see her two mates, but from this close it was easier to hear what they were saying.

"Like, she would have dropped out of college anyway and then we would have to support her and earn all the money," Ayano explained.

"We would have to kick that lazy bum out!" Tsukasa said.

"_What?!"_

"But it will not just be the same without Misa-chan," Ayano said, and sighed.

"Honestly, why do we keep her around? Only for the sex?" Tsukasa exclaimed.

"Tsukasa!" Ayano gasped, but added, "… well, okay, sex is great, but otherwise – she's just a burden. Yeah, why do we let her to tag along?"

"For comic relief?" Tsukasa piped.

"_They keep me just for the sex! I'm the comic relief! I'm just tagging along!"_ Misao screamed, in her mind, that is. Only a gurgle came out of her mouth.

"_That devil! That devious bitch! All the Hiiragi are the same!"_

Misao got up and ran away, through the mall exit, and onto the street. And then she just ran, ran as the athlete she was, dodging people, tears flowing on her cheeks.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Matsuri was in fact at the same mall, just on another floor, with a schoolmate of hers. She heard the ring tone again. She sighed and took out her cell phone, but smiled slightly as she saw who was calling.

"Yes, Nanako? I'm kind of busy now –" she said into the phone. Her schoolmate looked annoyed, because Matsuri seemed to be on the phone half the time of their shopping.

"Sheesh. Why don't you let me be with someone of my own age?" Matsuri said. She tried not to giggle. This was part of a game they had been playing – she played the childlike, bratty girl and Kuroi-sensei was her possessive old husband.

"_What?"_ – Kuroi-sensei's yell was audible even to Matsuri's friend, but she couldn't hear the rest of it.

"Yes, in fact, she _is_ a girl, why?" Matsuri said. "So you are jealous, eh?" she added.

Her schoolmate's eyes widened.

Matsuri took the phone a bit away from her ear. _"She's really into this role,"_ she thought.

"Okay, sensei. I might be there tonight, or maybe not. Whatever," Matsuri said, and closed the phone.

Matsuri's schoolmate tried to look as if nothing had happened. _"I'm not even going to ask …"_ she thought.

Suddenly, Matsuri flinched.

"Umm, is everything okay?" her schoolmate asked.

"Yes, I think…" Matsuri muttered. She had just had a disturbing thought. _"I hope she knows we are just playing? I did explain it to her … didn't I?"_

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Finally, Misao had to stop. She leaned onto a wall and drew deep breaths, trying to catch her breath as well as calm down. Passersby took odd looks at her, but she didn't care.

She wiped her tears into her sleeve and looked around. She had not thought about where she was going, but it was a familiar street. "Oh. Izumi and Hiiragi live over there. And this …" she muttered.

"Sensei!" she gasped. Yes, Kuroi-sensei's apartment was in this house.

Misao remembered last year. She and Kuroi-sensei had become … acquainted. Not exactly friends, but … something. _"What the heck. I can't exactly talk to my mother about this, since she doesn't even know about me and …"_ Misao thought.

She sighed deeply, and entered the building.

It took her a while to climb the stairs. She almost turned back, because it didn't feel right to disturb sensei with this. Besides, why would she even be home at Saturday?

Unusually for her, Misao just quickly brushed the doorbell, now hesitant to do this at all. "What am I doing here? Good, she doesn't seem to be home. I should just leave and –"

The lock rattled and the door opened before Misao had time to escape. Kuroi-sensei stared at her with bloodshot eyes.

"Sensei, you look terrible," Misao said.

"Oh, thank you, Kusakabe," Kuroi-sensei said with a touch of sarcasm in her voice.

"Sorry! I am disturbing you! I'll just leave –"

"You've been crying too. Why? … heck, just come in. I think I company is just what I need at the moment," Kuroi-sensei said, grabbed Misao's arm, and dragged her in.

After Misao had kicked her shoes off her feet, Kuroi-sensei lead her into the living room.

"Sit down. Tell me all about it. I'm glad to listen to someone else's problems for a chance. Want sake?" Kuroi-sensei said.

"S-sake? No, thanks –"

"You sure? Well, I'm opening another bottle! Help yourself if you change your mind," Kuroi-sensei said, and brought a bottle and two glasses from the kitchen.

Misao stared at the floor. For once in her life, she felt embarrassed and ashamed about something.

"You can tell me anything, Kusakabe. No matter what it is. I'm a teacher you know … I've been trained in this," Kuroi-sensei encouraged her, and then laughed aloud.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's just … ironic. I can help everyone else, but what comes to myself –" she didn't finish the sentence and took a large gulp of sake instead.

"I-I was dumped today," Misao finally muttered.

"Oh? Your boyfriend left you?" Kuroi-sensei said, raising an eyebrow.

"N-no … my girlfriends."

"Knowing you girls … you don't mean just friends – what, you had more than one?"

"Y-yes. Hiiragi … I mean Tsukasa, and Ayano were both … umm …" Misao stuttered.

"And they both dumped you just like that? Why would they do that?"

"It wasn't quite like that. Sensei, I –"

She was interrupted. "So they left you for a younger woman! Just like that! So typical of Hiiragi … she left me too!"

"W-what, Tsukasa left you?"

"No, not her! Matsuri! She found someone closer to her own age and …" Kuroi-sensei burst into tears, and took another long sip from her sake bottle.

"Sensei … I'm sorry that I bothered you with my own problems at a time like this –"

"Nonsense. I'm just happy that someone else is as miserable as I –" she again burst into laughter. "Oh my, what a strange contradiction!"

Misao buried her face into her palms.

Kuroi-sensei took her cell phone and started writing a text message.

"There! That ought to teach the bitch a lesson!" she announced, and sent her text.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Matsuri had came to visit Kagami's and Konata's home.

"It's about time you apologized to Kagami," Konata said. "And since you brought Chinese takeout … I too am almost forgiving you."

"I already said I never meant it. I was just shocked. I shouldn't even be apologizing! I was an accident!" Matsuri protested.

Her cell phone made a sound.

"Oh, it's a text message. I bet it's Nanako, I sort of promised to go –" she stopped talking, her eyes widened, and she turned bright red.

"What the hell! Nanako says she's going to have comfort sex with Kusakabe because I dumped her!" she yelled.

Kagami's and Konata's mouths fell open. "W-what?" Kagami gasped.

"I must go there at once!" Matsuri screamed, and started collecting her things.

"What the hell is Misao doing! I'm coming with you and beat the crap out of her!" Kagami yelled.

"I'll tag along," Konata said. "I don't want to miss an event like this!"

Both the Hiiragi glared nastily at her.

In the stairwell, they bumped into Tsukasa and Ayano.

"Oh, hi, sisters, Kona-chan, we were just coming –" Tsukasa said, but the others barely stopped.

"What's the big hurry?" Ayano asked.

"Your Misa-chan is having sex with Kuroi-sensei right now," Konata explained.

"WHAT!" both girls screamed.

All the five girls started running towards Kuroi-sensei's apartment.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

After Kuroi-sensei had recovered for a while, she filled her glass, wiped the tears of laughter – or sadness – moved closer to Misao, wrapped her arm around her, and whispered, "Wanna have comfort sex?"

Misao pulled her head back because the thick sake fumes coming out of Kuroi-sensei's mouth made her feel dizzy. "N-no … I'm not that desperate – no, not that! I mean, I don't even really know whether they are really breaking up with me!" Misao tried quickly to fix the slip of her tongue.

"Desperate! I'm not desperate! There'sh plenty of fish in the shea … maybe I'll find a man next! A rich man! Th-that would be a lesshon for her!" Kuroi-sensei muttered. "I'll invite her to the wedding! T-then … she'll realizshe I wash the only one she loved … and she will be alone and m-misherable for the resht of her l-life…"

"Sorry, sensei, maybe I'd better leave. I see now that I came here at a bad time," Misao said, and tried to pry Kuroi's arm off of her.

"No, Kusakabe, pleashe shtay! I'll pay you! I'll … I …" Kuroi muttered, and collapsed onto the tatami.

Misao sighed deeply. She wanted to leave, but at the moment this place was as good as any other. She leaned her head onto the table and closed her eyes.

There was a knock at the door.

Matsuri's eyes narrowed as she saw Misao opening the door, and she yelled, "What are you doing with my Nanako!"

"The same could be asked from you!" Misao growled.

"What!" Matsuri gasped. "How rude! Nanako is my … dear friend! I have every right to be here! Unlike you –"

Misao interrupted. "You left her for a younger woman! You sure have some nerve barging in here after that!"

"What!" Matsuri screamed.

Once by one, Kagami, Konata, Ayano, and Tsukasa also appeared. Misao glared at them.

"Misa-chan … what's going on?" Ayano asked.

Misao didn't answer. She just turned around and walked back in. The others followed.

Misao collapsed onto the floor, howled with anguish, and then shouted through her sobbing, "You said I'm just a burden! And that you let me tag along, for the s-sex and for comic relief!"

Ayano and Tsukasa had both turned pale.

"Misa-chan! We never said such things!" Tsukasa gasped. "… oh!"

"Oh no … Misa-chan, we never meant anything like that! You misunderstood it all!" Ayano yelled, and lifted Misao up by her shoulders. Tsukasa came closer as well and hugged Misao. "Yes, misunderstoop!" she gasped.

Ayano said empathically, "Please listen! I will tell you what happened. We were at the mall and …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Tsukasa blushed brightly. She never knew Ayano would look so hot _with_ clothes on. Then again, it wasn't really clothes but lingerie.

"Uh … t-that color is just perfect for you … brighter red is too big a contrast," Tsukasa stuttered.

"Oh, you think so?" Ayano said, grinned, and twirled around. She had noticed the impression her present attire had made.

Tsukasa could only make an approving whimper.

"Misa-chan will like this too, wouldn't she?" Ayano cooed.

"S-sure …" Tsukasa gasped.

Ayano dressed up again, paid for her purchases and they got out of the shop. They walked through the mall, stopping to look at about every other display window.

"I never thought Misa-chan would stay home and study for a test," Tsukasa said.

"Yeah, for some reason she isn't too keen on window shopping."

They had stopped to look at yet another store window.

"But it's good that she's getting more responsible, though. I was getting a bit worried already," Ayano continued.

"How so?"

"Like, she would have dropped out of college anyway and then we would have to support her and earn all the money," Ayano explained.

"Yeah, and then we would have to kick that lazy bum out!" Tsukasa said, jokingly.

"But it will not just be the same without Misa-chan," Ayano said, and sighed.

"Honestly, why do we keep her around? Only for the sex?" Tsukasa exclaimed. She grinned widely, because she was obviously just joking around.

"Tsukasa!" Ayano gasped. This was an unusually bold joke, coming from Tsukasa. She decided to add to the joke, "… well, okay, sex is great, but otherwise – she's just a burden. Yeah, why do we let her to tag along?"

"For comic relief?" Tsukasa piped.

Ayano and Tsukasa didn't notice Misao running away. They started to laugh, and Ayano said, "Maybe it's for the comic relief … and for the sex … but I can't imagine being without her!"

"Yeah, I love Misa-chan too …" Tsukasa said quietly. "She's the best."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"So that's how it was. I think you heard only the wrong parts … and you didn't see that we were just joking," Ayano explained.

"Please forgive us, Misa-chan!" Tsukasa sniffled, and hugged Misao tighter.

" … I want to see that lingerie," Misao finally said, and forced a smile on her lips.

"Misa-chan, we both love you so much!" Tsukasa yelled, and showed Misao exactly how much she loved her – in a French way. Ayano pressed herself against both of them and started kissing the side of Misao's neck.

"Aww, how cute!" Konata exclaimed.

"Yech! Eww! Gross! I didn't want to see that!" Kagami yelled.

"But Kagami, seeing two … three girls making out is beautiful!" Konata said.

"Not if it involves my sister!" Kagami groaned.

"Kagamin, I have some manga and anime which could enlighten you on the subject of sisters –" Konata suggested.

"Eww! I don't want to know!" Kagami groaned.

Konata's expression changed suddenly.

Kagami was looking at her – rather than looking at her sister at the moment – and said, "What?"

"You were perfectly fine when she was doing that with Yuki-chan!" Konata said. She was still staring at the three girls making out.

Kagami's mouth fell open. "… but, but … that's different!"

"Why?"

"… Miyuki is so … pure … well, I don't know! That's just how it was!" Kagami groaned.

"Yeah, I know what you mean! You just can't imagine Yuki-chan in bed with Tsuka–"

"Shut up!"

"Nanako? Are you asleep?" Matsuri asked. She had knelt down beside Kuroi-sensei, and tried to wake her up.

"Yesh … I mean, no. I'm wide awake. You traitor!" Kuroi-sensei hissed.

"What? What have I done?"

"You switched to someone of your own age. Just like that!"

"Nanako! I would never do something like that! It was just a game! I wasn't serious!" Matsuri gasped.

"A game? What kind of game is that?" Kuroi-sensei muttered.

"Role-playing … kind of … I was playing the delinquent kid and you were the jealous, old husband … oh my God …" Matsuri gasped, as she realized Kuroi-sensei had not been aware of it. "You thought I was serious ...?"

The shock had made Kuroi-sensei sober up somewhat. "… I didn't get it! I was wondering why you behaved so strangely. Maybe I'm too old for you. Maybe you really should find someone of your own age."

"No! It's you who I want to be with," Matsuri said, and embraced Kuroi-sensei. "You have taught me so much … and I don't mean world history …"

"Matsuri-chan …" Kuroi-sensei sighed, and locked her lips with Matsuri's. "Yech … you reek of sake," Matsuri muttered, but she returned the kiss.

"Not you too! That's … even more gross!" Kagami yelled.

"… your game … you know, it really got me going … now I'm taking you into bed and teach you another lesson!" Kuroi-sensei declared.

"Ha. As if. You're far too drunk," Matsuri said.

"Why, you little … you will soon be begging for mercy – no, your _ancestors_ will be begging for mercy!" Kuroi-sensei yelled. Wobbling a bit, she stood up, lifted Matsuri on her arms and started to carry her towards the bedroom.

"Eww! Konata, we are leaving. Now," Kagami said, and started to drag Konata by her arm.

They walked home, both in deep thoughts.

After they had returned home, Konata said, "Hey, that was a good ending!"

Kagami glared at her, but after a moment of thought, said, "Well, maybe. But can that go on?"

Konata sat down onto the floor. She started to look unusually serious. "I'm afraid not," she said quietly.

Kagami sat down beside Konata and hugged her. "I have never seen you like this."

"Matsuri-chan and sensei, well, maybe it will work out. But Tsukasa-chan and those two …" Konata muttered.

Kagami sighed. She too had had ominous thoughts about the affair. "Yeah … I just can't see those three living together, happily ever after."

Kagami's eyes watered as she thought of her twin sister.

"Are we going to live happily ever after?" Konata asked.

"I'm sure of it!" Kagami said. "You know, we two … despite being like night and day – uh, maybe that was a bad choice of words –"

Konata giggled. "Am I the day?"

"Ha ha. Anyway, we _will_ be happy. We are perfect for each other. I can't really understand it, though –" Kagami sighed.

Konata had turned bright red and looked at Kagami wide-eyed. "Ka-Kagami …"

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Everything is fine … I'm going to take a bath!" Konata said, and scurried off.

"What was all that about?" Kagami muttered.

She shrugged her shoulders and started to study, while Konata took her bath and went to the bed.

In the small hours, Kagami started thinking about Konata's reaction. _"We were talking about living happily ever after … living together … as a couple … but we are already –"_

Suddenly, she realized what Konata had been thinking of.

"Proposal," Kagami gasped.

She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. _"So sweet … and so bitter … I didn't imagined it to be like this … heck, which one of us should propose in the first place? Should I buy the rings …?"_

* * *

Thanks to StaminaRose for ideas! Yeah, Misao is good for only two things (#~_n#)… but that's quite enough. (Or is it?)


	14. Nurse's Advice

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 14: Nurse's Advice**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

No need to worry, by the way: this story will never turn into a tragedy.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Matsuri had a hard time remembering where she was and what else was going on, but at the bedroom doorway, she spread her arms and legs like a cat and clung onto the door frame. "Nanako! Stop! Wait a moment!"

"Stop struggling, I want to –" Kuroi-sensei groaned, and tried to push Matsuri through. Had she not been drunk, she would have easily subdued the younger woman.

"I can't do anything while my sister is here! Hey, Tsukasa! Tsukasa! … What the heck are you three doing? Stop that right now!" Matsuri screamed, and struggled, but Kuroi-sensei refused to let go.

"Oh!" Tsukasa gasped. "That's right – Misao, let go of my panties –"

"Mm, I don't want to stop!" Misao complained.

Sighing, Ayano pulled her hand away from under Misao's shirt and her silky, smooth skin, saying, "Misa-chan, she's right, we can't do this here …"

"Why not?" Misao whined. "I was just getting into the mood!"

"First of all, _I_ don't want to see it!" Matsuri yelled. "And I certainly don't want you here when me and Nanako – uh, please, just leave!"

Misao sighed, and started to button her shirt, eyeing Matsuri. "So … there's three of us already. Why not five, as we are on the subject?"

"Misa-chan!" both Tsukasa and Ayano gasped.

"Hm. Of course, she's your sister … but I don't mind!" Misao said.

The others looked at her in horror. Even Kuroi-sensei stopped trying to push Matsuri into the bedroom and stared at her. Misao laughed, and winked an eye at Tsukasa. "I'm just joking! A little payback for the jokes you two told today."

Misao's expression changed. "What, did you really think I would be that bad? Come on, I'm not Izumi!"

Kuroi-sensei looked at the three girls. "Hmm … maybe … Matsuri, how about –"

"No! Never!" Matsuri screamed.

"Sorry, it seems my shrine maiden is too prude. So, scram, kids!" Kuroi-sensei said.

"Prude! Shrine maiden! I'll show you prude! After those three brats have left …!" Matsuri yelled.

The three brats escaped the building.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

It was late afternoon, some day next week. Kagami was sitting at the table, completely submerged into inheritance laws – or actually she was just staring at the unintelligible law text and thinking of certain completely different laws.

Suddenly the front door burst open, and Konata yelled, "I'm home, Kagami-sama!"

Kagami flinched and accidentally swept the book off the table, losing the page she had been on. As usual. This was the third time this week she had been startled by Konata's entrance.

"Kagami-sama, you've been really twitchy lately. And you always get that cute bright red blush whenever I surprise you. It's hilarious! Wonder what you are thinking that makes you blush like that?" Konata said, and leaped onto Kagami's back, hugging her from behind.

"I just … I'm studying a lot these days! And I concentrate, unlike some people! That's why I'm startled each time."

"Naah … something is up, obviously. Are you pregnant? Or is it a surprise for my birthday?" Konata cooed, and pressed herself tighter against Kagami.

"Of course not! … what did you say? Besides, your birthday is gone already, silly. And who celebrates bi-bi-birthdays a-a-anyway?"

Kagami stuttered because Konata was running her tongue along the back of her neck.

"Cake! Think of the birthday cake, Kagamin! Lots of cream! Anyway, something _is _up. You didn't deny it! … hey, actually, you taste like cake today!"

"I shouldn't have used that shampoo…"

"Strawberry? You know, whipped cream is great with strawberry!"

"Konata! … I'm afraid … we've ran out of spray cream … again …"

Konata giggled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next afternoon, Kagami had come to visit her former home after school and was just entering Tsukasa's room. To her surprise, she found Tsukasa at her desk, apparently, studying. She greeted her and curiously peeked over her shoulder, only to see a spread of colorful and explicit pictures on the pages – depicting childbirth.

"Whoa! Why are you watching something like that?"

"I'm trying to get used to this. And they told me I'll have to stick needles into people as well," Tsukasa explained. She yawned and leaned back on her chair.

Kagami smiled. For once her sister was getting ahead of her, at least in something. She had also realized her sister probably knew more than herself about the thing that had been in her mind a lot recently.

So, she had decided to tell her. "Tsukasa, I need your help," Kagami said.

Tsukasa stared at her for a moment, and burst into laughter.

"Hey!"

"S-sorry, sis, I thought I heard you saying 'I need your help'!"

"No, I _do_ need your help."

"What?"

"I have to ask your advice in … something."

Tsukasa's mouth fell open. "I'd better clean my ears. I thought I heard that you want to ask my advice in something."

"Okay. Maybe I deserved that. I might have been patronizing you and not appreciating your talents … except for cooking."

"Oh, do you want to cook up something for Konata?"

Now, it was Kagami's turn to chuckle. "Yeah, sort of ... I want to propose. I mean, ask her hand. In marriage."

Tsukasa had been tilting her chair back to relax. Kagami reacted just fast enough to stop her sister from hitting the back of her head as she fell backwards along her chair.

"Tsukasa …" Kagami sighed. "Calm down."

Tsukasa sat down on the floor beside her fallen chair. Tears flowed on her cheeks. "M-m-my elder s-s-s- sister g-getting married –" she stuttered.

"Isn't that the way it should be? Eldest sisters should be married first. Though, I don't think Matsuri or Inori will beat me to it … or, in a way, they could … because I can't really be married to Konata. Unless I find a loophole in the law," Kagami muttered, mostly to herself, because Tsukasa didn't seem to listen to her anyway. "But I don't care … whether it's legal or not!"

Tsukasa drew a deep breath, and said, "Well, that was a surprise. But what did you want to ask me, sis?"

Kagami started to blush. "Umm … it's this proposal thing … I, ehh …"

Tsukasa blinked her eyes. No, of course she wouldn't get it.

Kagami sighed, cleared her throat, and said, "How _do_ you propose to someone?"

Tsukasa tried to hold back, but she couldn't help bursting into laughter.

"Tsukasa!"

"Sorry, sis … it's just so funny … isn't it obvious? You just go to her and ask. 'Would you marry me, Kona-chan?' Or something like that," Tsukasa explained.

"Yeah, I know … but where, how, and when I should ask that? Do I need any … uhh, props?"

"Oh, yes you do. You need engagement rings for both of you. Usually, the man … I mean the bridegroom … I mean –" at this point, Tsukasa had to laugh again.

"I-it's not funny …" Kagami muttered.

"Sorry, sis, but it _is_ so funny … when it's you and Kona-chan. You, p-p-proposing … dressed in a suit, kneeling in front of Kona-chan … I can't even imagine what she will say!"

"I hope she will say yes! Wait, what suit? Kneeling?"

"Of course you have to dress up! No, not in suit … but, I mean, it's usually a man who is proposing, that's why … oh!" Tsukasa gasped. She stood up, picked up her chair and sat down at her desk again.

"What?"

"Remember how you dressed into the boy's uniform at school?"

"She made me do it! That's something I can never forget!"

"But you can't dress in a suit, it would ruin the surprise. Kona-chan would guess what you are up to, right away."

"What, do I need to surprise her?"

"Of course! That's a must!"

"Wait, I need to write this down. Engagement rings … suit … no, no suit … surprise … kneeling … what else?" Kagami said, scribbling into her notebook.

Tsukasa grinned, and started explaining.

After the lecture, Tsukasa leaped onto Kagami's neck and hugged her warmly. Kagami's eyes widened, but she returned the hug after a moment of hesitation.

"I'm so happy … for once I had a chance to help you …" Tsukasa said, but then she thought of something and her expression turned sour. She made sure her sister wouldn't see it.

"Not a word to Konata, okay? I don't want her to know about this!"

"Okay, sis. I promise I won't tell her," Tsukasa said.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Later that same evening, Tsukasa woke up – she had been dozing off at the table again – wiped drool off of her cheek, yawned, and picked up her cell phone which was ringing.

"Hi, Tsukasa-chan! It's Konata. I have to ask you something, are you at home?" Konata's voice said.

"Yeah … what time is it? Oh, nine o'clock already … can't you ask it over the phone?" Tsukasa mumbled.

"No, I have to see you. In fact, I'm already here! Come open the front door."

"Okay …" Tsukasa sighed, dragged herself downstairs and opened the front door.

"Sorry, I was dozing off and just woke up …" Tsukasa muttered.

"Hi. Let's go into your room. I bet you will be wide awake really soon," Konata said, and grinned.

"Yeah, okay …" Tsukasa mumbled.

They climbed the stairs and entered Tsukasa's room. Tsukasa sat onto her bed while Konata closed the door. Tsukasa was too sleepy to notice, but Konata actually looked along the hallway and made sure nobody would listen behind the door.

"So what did you want to ask…?" Tsukasa said, and yawned again.

"I'm going to ask Kagami to marry me! Do you have any ideas where and how I should do it? I mean, I can't exactly be overcome by angst, break my knuckles against a wall, be stopped by Kagami, and then ask. 'cause I'm not feeling any angst these days," Konata explained.

"Tsukasa?" she added, when she saw Tsukasa's weird expression. Tsukasa's mouth was open, and her eyes were rolling.

"Haah …"

"You look like you are about to burst, Tsukasa-chan. Hey, come on, it's not that serious!"

"Haah … haah …"

"Is that hyperventilation? Do you have a paper bag anywhere?" Konata asked, and started to look around. She pulled a foil pouch from the wastepaper basket.

"Here, breathe into this. Sorry, it seems to have been bacon-flavored snacks or something," Konata said, handing the pouch to Tsukasa.

Tsukasa took the bag, and held it on her face with trembling hands. After a minute, she calmed down enough to be able to say, "K-Kona-chan, you shouldn't make a hyperventilating person to breathe into a bag. That's dangerous …"

"I see you have actually learned some of that nurse stuff. Feeling better now?"

"Eww, my face is all greasy!"

"Mmm … bacon!" Konata said, and approached Tsukasa.

Tsukasa quickly moved away.

"Just kidding, I'm not going to lick your face. Kagami wouldn't like it," Konata said. "Besides, the good old days of fooling around are gone, I guess."

Konata scratched her head. "Anyway, were was I? Oh. The proposal. I've seen it in anime a lot, but there it always happens in some really weird situation. It's not, like, I will ever have Kagami's drunk dad on piggyback, or something. How do you propose in real life? I thought you would know."

"Uhh … I think I do know, but …"

"Aww-right! You must tell me all about it! How about if we practice –" Konata stopped, as she noticed Tsukasa's expression. "Why are you crying?"

"… t-these are just … tears of joy! Right, I'm so h-happy for you both …"

As Konata had already thought about Tsukasa's situation, she realized what was wrong. She turned serious.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked you about this. Since you got a threesome … marriage is definitely not an option for you guys."

"Yeah …" Tsukasa sobbed.

"Don't worry about me, then. I'll just look it up in the 'net or something," Konata said, and patted Tsukasa's back.

"No, it's okay. I'll help you. First you will need engagement rings – I mean … ehh … if you buy the rings, make sure you save the receipt."

"How come?"

"If you need to return the rings …" Tsukasa said. Right away, she realized she had screwed up.

"Why would I need to return the rings? Kagami is not going to accept my proposal, you mean? Tsukasa! Do you know something about this? Kagami was here earlier today. What did she say to you?" Konata yelled. She looked very agitated.

"No, I didn't mean that! I'm sure sis will say yes. I'm certain she will! She …"

"And I didn't even know we had a crisis. She never said anything!" Konata shouted, tearing her hair.

"Konata, it's not what you think!"

"So what is it?"

But Tsukasa couldn't answer. "I … ehh … I … I promised not to …"

"I see. I can't understand what went wrong … I thought we were doing so well! I guess I'll text her and say I'm going home, I mean Izumi house, for tonight," Konata said.

Tsukasa's heart ached when she saw how sad Konata looked. But she had promised not to tell, so she couldn't say anything.

* * *

In fact, Japanese people don't usually celebrate their birthdays.

Inheritance laws … really boring stuff, and incomprehensible to humans. I doubt Japanese ones are any less boring than ours.

Konata describes a scene from Clannad After Story, and her another example is from Maison Ikkoku.


	15. Ample Bosom

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 15: Ample Bosom**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Konata was walking along the quiet streets towards her former home, as the sun set below the horizon and the darkness set in. Like the darkness in her heart. Still, deep down she could not yet believe that Kagami had stopped loving her. True, Kagami had been strangely twitchy and nervous the last days. Maybe something was really wrong. However, they had slept – which didn't mean "sleeping" only – together all the time. Even this week. And it had been as great as ever … so if something was really wrong, Kagami had hidden it really well.

At the doorstep of her former home, Konata sighed deeply, drew herself up to her full height – of almost five feet – and tried to cheer up.

"Oh, it's Konata-chan!" Yukari exclaimed when she peeked into the lobby after hearing the door.

"Hello, Takara-sa – I mean Yukari-san –" Konata said, but was cut short as her dad dashed into the room and grappled her daughter into a bear hug. "Konata! I have missed you so much," Sōjirō yelled.

"Hi, dad … umm, you are crushing me …"

Sōjirō loosened his grip slightly, and said, "So, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to come here for a change. I think I'll even stay the night," Konata said.

Konata's dad still knew her daughter well. Her _ahoge_ was drooping – something was wrong. Sōjirō also knew she probably wasn't ready to tell about it yet. So he just smiled, and didn't try to appease his curiosity with more questions.

After prying her dad off, Konata walked upstairs and absent-mindedly entered her room – and found nude Miyuki inside, screaming and desperately trying to cover herself. The exquisite sight made Konata feel better immediately, although she couldn't help thinking about Kagami at the same time. _"Kagamin, Kagamin … I can't even enjoy these things as much as I used to,"_ Konata thought.

Aloud, she exclaimed, "Wow! Have those grown even more? … uh, I mean, sorry, Yuki-chan. I completely forgot that this is now your room."

Not that Konata was that sorry to be treated to a sight like this.

"I-It's okay, Izumi-san … I just took a bath …" Miyuki said, and quickly put on her nightgown.

Konata kept staring at Miyuki. Another thought made her sigh. She placed her palms on her own chest region. "Why haven't _I_ still grown at all? Maybe Kagami would have liked me more if I had curves like that."

"Izumi-san, you are thinking aloud …" Miyuki noted.

"Okay …" Konata muttered, and sat down onto the rodeo chair. "So, how's your love life, Yuki-chan?"

Miyuki gasped, blushed even more, and said, "Uh … it's … fine, actually. Me and Hiiragi-san, I mean, Inori, have been going out …"

"Aww-right! Inori is really hot! … umm, I thought you were straight?"

"Yes, I meant we go out together and meet boys."

"Great. In that case, you can help me with something. I'm afraid that … Kagami doesn't love me anymore," Konata said quietly. The thought brought tears into her eyes again.

"That can't be true! Yesterday I talked to her over the phone and –" Miyuki snapped her mouth shut.

"What? What? Not you too!" Konata gasped. "Let me guess, she asked you not to tell me anything?"

"S-sorry, Izumi-san, but … that's true. However –"

She paused, because she couldn't really think of anything else to say after the "however". Fortunately, she was interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Miyuki's new little sister, and Konata's cousin Yutaka.

"Hi, oneesan! … oh no, why are you crying? Are you okay?" Yutaka said, walked up to Konata and hugged her from behind. Slightly hesitantly, Miyuki decided to hug Konata as well. Since she was only wearing a silk robe and nothing else, the contact felt a bit too intimate for her liking. But from Konata's reaction she thought it would make her feel better.

And it did. As expected, Konata eagerly buried her face into Miyuki's ample bosom, and muttered, "These really have grown …"

"_Oh. I'm turning into my dad,"_ she thought. But, at least this warm, soft place, the feeling of silk and the softness beyond, and being hugged by not one but two _moe_ goddesses at once, took her mind off the burning issues for the moment.

Speaking of the devil, he had sneaked behind Yutaka and was secretly peeking in through the door Yutaka had left slightly open. Sōjirō didn't dare to disturb this unique scene with the sound of a camera. So, he just tried to imprint it on his mind as well as possible. He quickly glanced around, hoping that her new wife wouldn't see him.

"Izumi-san, it's not what you think," Miyuki said.

"What? No way! These can't be fake!" Konata gasped.

"No, I mean … about Kagami. She … loves you very much."

"Why?"

"Sorry, Izumi-san?"

"Why would she love me … she's so bright and cool and beautiful … and I'm just a stupid otaku …" Konata whispered.

At this point, even Sōjirō realized this was not meant for his ears. He closed the door quietly and walked away.

Gently, Miyuki stroke Konata's hair, and after a while, said softly, "… Konata-san … you brighten up everyone's lives. You are so much fun to have around. Life is never boring when one has you as a friend. Everybody loves you, but Kagami loves you the most."

"Yuki-chan is completely right … and I love you too, Kona-chan," Yutaka said.

Konata didn't answer.

"Oneesan? … umm … Yuki-chan, I think she fell asleep," Yutaka said.

Gently, Miyuki and Yutaka lifted Konata up and carried her to the bed. Half-asleep, Konata grabbed Miyuki and refused to let go of her comfortable pillow. Miyuki lost her balance and fell onto the bed, face up, with Konata on top of her.

Yutaka giggled. "Oh, that looks so comfortable. I think oneesan wants to use you as a pillow, Yuki-chan."

But, she sighed at her next thought, _"Too bad Minami-chan isn't as soft and fluffy …"_

There was a sound of cell phone ringing. "Oh. It's my phone. Could you hand it to me, Yutaka-san?" Miyuki whispered. "It's Kagami."

Drowsily, Konata lifted her head a bit and opened one eye.

"Good evening, Hiiragi-san … yes, Izumi-san is here … do you want to talk–" Miyuki said into the phone. The next minute, she just said, "Oh?", "I see," and "Yes, Hiiragi-san." and then closed the phone.

"What did she say …?" Konata muttered sleepily.

"Hiiragi-san says it's all right that you stay the night here. She said she will talk to you tomorrow," Miyuki explained. Konata buried her face into Miyuki again and clung onto her even tighter.

"_Oh no, she didn't even talk to oneechan … that sounded so cold …"_ Yutaka thought. "Good night, oneechan, Yuki-chan!" she said, got out and closed the door, before the others would see her tears.

Miyuki didn't have the heart to move, so she stayed awake for a long time, letting Konata to sleep, until she herself finally dozed off.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next morning, Saturday, Miyuki woke up and found that Konata had moved enough so she could slip away without waking her up.

Around noon, the doorbell rang, and Miyuki opened the door to find serious-looking Kagami standing there. Miyuki realized that Kagami was dressed unusually well – lately Kagami had mostly dressed in jeans and shirt, but today she wore a light lilac dress Miyuki had never even seen before and carried a handbag.

"Welcome, Hiiragi-san, nice to meet you," Miyuki said. "I'm afraid Izumi-san is still sleeping. She was … a bit upset last night. Should I get her for you –"

"No," Kagami said, kicking her high heels off her feet.

Yutaka was secretly peeking at from the stairs, and her jaw twitched when she heard this. She swallowed her tears and kept silent, listening to Kagami.

Kagami drew a deep breath, and said, "Sorry, Miyuki. I didn't mean it like that. I mean, don't wake up Konata yet. I need to talk to … her father and his wife. Are they at home?"

Miyuki wanted to ask Kagami about the dress and the shoes, but she realized something was wrong. Kagami looked strange. Her hands seemed to tremble and Miyuki saw beads of sweat on her forehead. _"She's really, really nervous! Why …?" _Miyuki realized. Being a considerate person, she didn't start asking questions, but instead just said, "Yes, Hiiragi-san. I believe they are in the kitchen. Should I –"

"Could you ask them to come to the living room and … to sit down. It's … important," Kagami said, took a tissue from her handbag, and wiped her forehead. "I need to talk them … alone."

Kagami let out a little, nervous giggle, and added, "Sorry, Miyuki – and Yutaka, I see you there! – I will explain everything to you, later. Okay?"

"Of course, Hiiragi-san. I understand … that it is important. I will tell them and I and Yutaka-san will go upstairs."

"Thank you, Miyuki. You – you are a great friend …" Kagami said quietly. Now she seemed to be holding back tears.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Miyuki and Yutaka waited in Yutaka's room. Both had grabbed a book – Yutaka had a manga and Miyuki had a schoolbook – and tried to read. Actually, they both just kept quiet and subconsciously tried to listen to what was happening. After a couple of minutes, they heard some screaming and looked at each other.

"What was that?" Miyuki muttered.

"I think there were more than one people screaming," Yutaka said.

They couldn't tell whether those were screams of joy, anger or anguish. However, the screaming stopped quickly and then it was quiet again for a few minutes.

There was a knock at the door, and Kagami, face blushing bright red, entered.

"Is Konata in your room?" she asked.

"Yes, I think she's still asleep," Miyuki said.

"I'm taking her out but … is there a back door or another way out? … Sorry, I know all this is very strange. There's no time to explain it right now," Kagami said.

"Oh, the back door is in the kitchen," Miyuki said.

"No good, she will be there," Kagami muttered. "Anything else?"

"I think oneesan said something about her room once," Yutaka noted. "C-could you ask her?"

"Sure, I must wake her up anyway," Kagami said, peeked into the hallway, and slipped into Konata's room.

"Konata … you've got a pretty cute face when you sleep …" Kagami whispered.

Konata snapped awake and let out a little scream, surprised by seeing Kagami watching her at a close distance.

"What are you doing here?" Konata gasped.

For some reason, Kagami had that strange feeling of déjà vu.

"No time to explain! We've got to get out of here. Fast. Is there a way out other than the front or back door?" Kagami asked, and grabbed Konata's hands, pulling her up from the bed.

"Umm … what?" Konata asked, and blinked her eyes. "… there's a tree under that window. I used that to, eh, get out secretly …"

Kagami yanked the window open, peeked out, said, "Right," and began to take her dress off.

"Ka-Kagamin! What are you doing? My parents are home –"

"I don't want to ruin this dress. I brought both of our shoes," Kagami said, and promptly threw both of their shoes out of the window.

Konata stared at her with her mouth open, rubbed her eyes, and stared again.

"Wake up, Konata! Let's go!" Kagami said.

Konata couldn't stop staring. Kagami was wearing panties with blue and white stripes and a light blue, laced bra.

"K-Kagami … are you a goddess, by chance?" Konata gasped.

"Yes, of course I am. Now, let's get out!" Kagami said. The tree looked sturdy enough, but she hesitated a bit. Not that she was afraid of heights, but she had not climbed a tree since she was a child. Sighing, Kagami let her handbag and dress drop onto the ground, braced herself and jumped out and onto the large branch almost reaching the windowsill. "Come on!" she beckoned Konata.

Konata watched her with her mouth hanging open. A sight of Kagami hanging on a tree in her underwear, and she didn't have her camera! For a second, she considered calling her father to take pictures, but by now, Kagami's words had finally started to get through into her sleepy brain, and she realized they were eloping.

"Eloping?" she asked.

"Stop staring already and follow me!" Kagami yelled. Nervously, she took a look around, but fortunately there was nobody around to see them.

Quickly and nimbly she climbed down, and put on her dress again. Konata followed equally easily, and put on her shoes. Kagami noticed Yukari staring at them in the window, grabbed her high heels and Konata's hand, and started to run, before Konata's parents would start yelling or coming out.

Kagami dragged Konata along, through the

"Where are we going?" Konata said, and started to slow down.

"Oh. I don't know, actually. Let's get into that park over there and … umm, rest a bit," Kagami said. What she was actually thinking made her nervous again.

By a stroke of luck, the park was virtually empty. Konata sat down on a bench, but Kagami remained standing and turned away from Konata.

"Kagamin?"

"Just a moment," Kagami said. She took a few deep breaths, and turned around.

Konata stared at her wide-eyed. Without even realizing why, her heart started pounding. Something was up. Something … important.

Kagami cleared her throat, pulled something from her handbag, and knelt in front of Konata.

Konata gasped and her eyes opened even wider.

Kagami raised her hand and Konata saw that she was holding a small box.

"Konata Izumi …" Kagami said, but her voice broke.

Konata was unable to say anything, even if she had wanted to.

Kagami cleared her throat again, and sniffed, trying to hold back tears. She felt as if all the things she had experienced with Konata flashed before her eyes. From the moment she first met Konata, to last night, when they had been apart. Lots of awkward moments, lots of embarrassing moments, lots of frustration … but all of that didn't matter. It had all definitely been worth of it.

She smiled, and started over. "Konata Izumi, would you marry me?"

Konata felt like she had just ascended to heaven, and instantly regained the ability to speak. "Ooh, Kagami … this came so suddenly! This is a big step, and I need to think it over," she said, but her eyes shining like stars, and the huge grin on her face gave her away.

"Damn it, Konata, just say it already …" Kagami said. As all the stress and tension of the day was relieved, Kagami felt so weak that she staggered. Konata caught her by the arms.

"Sure, why not …" Konata said.

"What?" Kagami hissed. She almost wanted to scream.

"Of course I will marry you, stupid," Konata said.

Despite it had been perfectly obvious, Kagami's heart still skipped a beat. She felt the strength returning to her limbs.

She took the ring – just a plain silver ring, but already engraved with their names and the date of this day – from the box, and slipped it into Konata's ring finger.

"I got another one for myself. Oh, and I already talked to your father and mother," Kagami said quietly. "It was … hard. And I had to take you away before – anyway, I'll tell you about it later –"

"Oh? … Hey! Wait! We are both girls!" Konata exclaimed.

"So you finally noticed?" Kagami said, and giggled.

Konata chuckled too, and said, "No, I mean, do they allow two girls to get married?"

"No, but I will change the laws!" Kagami announced. "Anyway, Miyuki said that you were a bit upset yesterday. If she says that, you must have been very upset. Was it my fault?"

"No, it was something Tsukasa said – ah, scratch that. It wasn't Tsukasa's fault. It was … me," Konata said. The corner of her mouth twitched.

Kagami knew the expression. It was very rare, but she had seen it a few times. Konata was being really, actually serious about something.

"What do you mean?" Kagami whispered.

"This will be a bit hard to explain …" Konata muttered.

"Take your time."

Konata cleared her throat, and said, "The last months have been pure ecstasy, bliss, joy, happiness –"

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

"In manga and anime, these kinds of things usually end up in a tragedy."

"Konata, you shouldn't mix manga and anime into real life!"

"But manga and anime are real life!" – quickly, before Kagami had time to shout at her, she continued, "Okay, okay, let's not argue about that now. I – uhh …" Konata blushed a bit.

"You can tell me, no matter what it is. You know you can …" Kagami whispered, and brushed a lock of hair off of Konata's face. Reflectively, Konata pressed her cheek against her palm.

"Deep down I knew you had not suddenly stopped loving me, but I had to try … try what it would feel like."

"So?"

"I would have survived."

"That's … good," Kagami said. "Your entire life shouldn't depend on someone else … even if it's the most important person to you – I-I mean for me – I mean you are –"

"K-Kagami, you are the most important person to me too …" Konata found herself stuttering as well.

Kagami looked around quickly, and saw that there was nobody around, so she pulled Konata closer.

The deep and wet kiss lasted for ages and felt extra special for them. Finally, Kagami had to draw her lips away to catch her breath.

"Mmm! You are so delicious I want to eat you," Konata whispered.

"You can do that when we get home," Kagami said, and enjoyed a rare moment of making Konata blush.

Konata buried her face to Kagami's chest and rubbed her face against it, mumbling, "Yours are every bit as nice as Miyuki's …"

"What!" Kagami yelled.

* * *

Hey, Miyuki _is_ really nice! Inside and out! She is not actually an evil, dark bitch. (I still haven't had the energy to read Tastychainsaws' Miyuki fic…)

Yui sits on Izumi house's rodeo chair in some episode. The chair is supposed to make your abs stronger, but it has other uses. Such as, they put girls in bikinis on those and make them throw pies at each other – that's Japanese TV for you. And there's a lot of … interesting anime-like stuff about it.

Kagami waking Konata up is from episode 1 – except the roles are reversed.


	16. Duels

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 16: Duels**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Kagami and Konata were walking home, holding hands. Kagami was still sulking a bit because of what Konata had done with Miyuki. Even when it had been relatively innocent. "Like father, like daughter …" she sighed.

Konata couldn't quite hear what Kagami was mumbling, but decided to ask about something else. "So … what happened back there? I mean, why did we have to elope?"

"Well …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Sōjirō and Yukari were sitting on the living room couch, looking perplexed.

"I know this is a big step, and I'm not expecting an answer right this minute. If you'd like some time to think about it, I understand. Your daughter, Konata, is the most important person in the world for me. I promise I will take care of her and that she'll always have what she needs. I know this is a serious issue with serious responsibilities …" Kagami said.

Of course, Sōjirō and Yukari didn't look like they got it, at all. They still had if possible even more puzzled look on their faces.

Kagami sighed and forced herself to say it, loud and clear. "Izumi-san, Takara-san, I am asking your daughter's hand in marriage."

For several seconds, there was silence. Then, a huge grin spread onto Sōjirō's face. "Are you both going to wear a dress? Or a kimono? Or do you wear that miko outfit for weddings?" he asked with enthusiasm.

Yukari's eyes bulged and she turned bright red as Kagami's words finally sunk into her brain.

"What the HELL did you just say?" she screamed, and jumped up. "It's all fine that you two play your little perverted games in private before getting on with your adult lives, but this … this goes against all that is decent and proper in this country! That can't even be legal!"

"Takara-san, I know it's not allowed in the law, but we will think of something –"

"You are putting both of our families in shame!" Yukari yelled.

Kagami's eyes narrowed. She wasn't feeling ashamed at all, but angry. "Oh yeah? Well maybe you should have reconsidered before –"

However, she decided not to finish that sentence, "having an affair, getting a divorce, and joining a family not as posh as yours used to be". It wouldn't be a good way to start a relationship with her new mother-in-law. Instead, she said, "I mean, I don't think there's anything to be ashamed about. This is a new millennium. It's about time we start to accept same-sex relationships. Lots of famous people –"

"Wait until your parents hear about this!" Yukari yelled.

Kagami thought of that. Since her parents already knew, well, not about the marriage, but about their relationship, her only concern was that it would be Konata's duty to ask her hand from her parents.

Imagining that scene was just far too funny. She couldn't help bursting in laughter. "S-sorry, Takara-san. I'm not laughing at you –"

"We need to have a serious talk with _your_ daughter," Yukari said, and turned to Sōjirō.

"Yes, dear," Sōjirō sighed.

"And don't you just yes dear me and sigh there! We both are strictly against this crazy marriage idea, aren't we?" Yukari hissed, and took a step towards her husband.

"Yes, dear … I mean no, dear … I-I mean …" Sōjirō stuttered.

As Yukari's attention was now completely on her husband, Kagami slipped away and ran upstairs. She didn't want Sōjirō and Yukari to have a serious talk with Konata. That would ruin the surprise. _She_ would have a serious talk with Konata. In private.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Ouch," Konata said. "I'd better call her later. Don't worry, she'll change her mind. I've seen her do the same before. She wears her heart in her sleeve. At the moment she was upset, but when she thinks it over, she'll calm down and be more understanding."

"I hope so," Kagami said, not sounding too convinced.

"Or you can put her into a choke hold until she submits," Konata added.

"Konata, that's against the rules of my art and you know it," Kagami noted.

Konata grinned.

"Hey, that one time doesn't count!" Kagami groaned.

They were talking about aikido, something Kagami had taken in middle school and junior high and recently started again. She had insisted that Konata must start going to karate, which she had experience with.

Konata demanded that Kagami must win her in a fight or she wouldn't go. And that's why Kagami had to wrestle her down. While Kagami had enjoyed it a lot, Konata had enjoyed it far too much – in particular, she had mostly tried to remove Kagami's clothes, instead of trying to win. Finally Kagami had to _almost_ use a choke hold before Konata submitted.

"Oh yeah, practice tomorrow!" Kagami said.

"Bah, I wanted to forget that," Konata groaned. "Why did you remind me of that … at a time like this …"

"But it's something we do together, now that the café is out of business," Kagami said.

Now, Kagami was referring to their part-time job, which had to close its doors, because it had become _too_ successful.

"But can't we just exercise at home?" Konata suggested, and winked.

Kagami couldn't avoid thinking about it, and blushed. "I guess … but you are still coming with me tomorrow!"

"Sure, I'll come with you," Konata said innocently.

"I didn't mean _that_!" Kagami groaned.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"I'm impressed, Konata. You actually look like you have done something," Kagami said, and wiped her forehead with the towel. They were at the dojo, sitting on a bench, and taking a break before the next half of their practice session.

Konata was drenched in sweat, blushing, and breathing heavily. To her embarrassment, Kagami found the sight to be strangely erotic. Maybe because she usually saw Konata like that often, in a completely different situation –

Her thoughts were interrupted, as Konata muttered, "Actually … I guess I have to tell you …"

"What? What now?" Kagami groaned. This kind of line from Konata usually heralded something bad.

"I started this because I need to be in good shape for Comiket," Konata muttered, looking slightly guilty.

Kagami sighed. "Fine, but don't give it up after Comiket. What's so hard about Comiket anyway? Has it gotten even bigger or something?"

"Well, we need to haul hundreds of heavy boxes full of doujins. That's going to be hard," Konata explained.

"We? WE!" Kagami yelled.

"But, Kagamin! I'm definitely going to need your help! Three million yen's worth of doujins is a lot."

"Three … million … yen …" Kagami gasped.

"Yeah, that's my budget. And that's why I've been at the computer so much. I've been contacting all the best circles."

"I-If you make as much profit as last time … three million times four … t-that's …"

"A year's salary, roughly."

"That's so unfair," Kagami groaned.

"Hey, I'm going to use a lot of it on you. I want to keep mai waifu satisfied. Oh!" Konata gasped, and looked like she had just remembered something.

Kagami glared at her and hissed, "Konata, you look like you just remembered something. What is it now? I know that look. It's something embarrassing."

"It's just … if you feel that you don't make any money … the café owners e-mailed me. They are reopening, and it's a far bigger place they got before. And they asked us to work again," Konata explained.

Kagami sighed.

"Hey, Kagami, you love the job! And we're getting a big raise. Of course I –"

"Yes, of course you signed us up already. And I hate it. Except –" Kagami stopped and blushed.

Konata decided not to embarrass Kagami further, because she knew perfectly well what she was thinking. She would have hated the job, except for the fact that there they had a chance to be together.

"Yo, Hiiragi!" a piercing voice called. It sounded strangely familiar, but also somehow odd and muffled.

Konata and Kagami turned around and saw a person in armor and a meshed helmet, the types that are used in kendo.

"Uh, can you guys help this helmet off of me? I had to go to the bathroom and I couldn't get it off and I couldn't even see where I was going but then I saw the fearsome Hiiragi!" the person said.

"Oh, it's Misao!" Konata noted.

"Kusakabe? What are you doing in that outfit?" Kagami asked, and walked around Misao, trying to figure out how the helmet is taken off in the first place.

Misao tried to wipe her forehead, but of course she just banged her hand onto the helmet. "Ow. Ayano – she told us she had taken kendo in school – dragged me and Imouto here."

"Imouto? Oh, you mean my sister?" Kagami asked.

"Yeah."

Konata and Kagami looked at each other. They knew what each other was thinking. _"Tsukasa … in kendo? It sounds completely unlike her."_

"We've got to see that!" Konata announced.

Kagami had grabbed the helmet on both sides and tried to pull it straight up. Misao started to gurgle as the helmet strangled her neck.

"Hm. That doesn't seem to work. How did you manage to get this stuck onto your head anyway?" Kagami asked.

"Maybe it happened when Ayano knocked me onto the head with that wooden sword. She hits really hard!" Misao exclaimed.

"I thought you had already been hit on the head a lot," Konata said.

Misao was too preoccupied to take offence at Konata's innuendos. She leaned on Kagami, gasped for air, and said, "Hey, guys, I'm going to pass out. Or throw up."

"Yuck. Please, don't. It will look really gross if you do that while wearing the helmet," Konata said.

"Konata, please don't give us mental images like that!" Kagami groaned.

"Good thing that the threesome are here. I just remembered I've got to ask them something," Konata noted, just as the other two of said threesome arrived, walking from around the corner.

"Oh, hi, sis! And Kona-chan!" Tsukasa said. She really was wearing kendo armor and fumbling with her bamboo sword and helmet. Ayano, wearing the same kind of outfit, followed behind her.

Kagami just nodded at them because she was still busy trying to get the helmet off Misao. With a sort of a plopping sound, it finally came off, revealing Misao's reddened face and messy hair. Misao slumped onto the bench, panted heavily, and wiped her forehead.

"Hello, Ayano-chan, Tsukasa-chan. Did you finish your practice already?" Konata asked.

"No, I just showed these two the basics. Next, we will try some sparring," Ayano explained.

"Great! Kagami, we absolutely must see this!" Konata yelled, bouncing with excitement.

"You just want to skip the second half of the class," Kagami muttered.

"If you guys are going to watch us sparring, we want to see you two have a bout!" Misao announced.

"Bout? What, you want us to have a fight?" Kagami said. "But I'm in aikido and Konata is in karate."

"That's what makes it interesting! Besides, I bet you can't win the squirt. She's much stronger than she looks!" Misao said, slapping Konata's back.

Konata giggled, and said, "But I never thought of spanking Kagami."

"Spanking? This isn't spanking!" Kagami groaned.

"Sorry, sis, but I think Kona-chan will win. Aikido is no match for karate," Tsukasa noted.

"But Kagami is bigger and heavier," Ayano said.

Kagami glared at Ayano from under her brow.

"And scary!" Ayano added. "I bet Kagami wins!"

"You're on! I bet a hundred yen that Konata wins!" Misao yelled.

"A hundred yen? …hey! Stop making bets! I never agreed to fight with Konata!" Kagami shouted.

"Oh, Hiiragi is going to fight Izumi!" a girl passing by shouted.

"What? That's something I must see!" another girl yelled. "Wait, I'll tell the others!"

"Kagami, we can't let these people down! We must have the fight!" Konata said.

"Okay! I guess I have to teach you a lesson," Kagami sighed. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you … too badly."

Konata gulped. Kagami really was scary. But now she couldn't back down. "I hope you tap out before I knock you out," she just said, but she didn't sound very convincing.

In a few minutes, the entire dojo knew about "the match of the century" and even the instructors seemed eager to see it. A tatami was emptied and everyone gathered around to watch. A thai boxing instructor volunteered to act as a referee.

"Even sensei looks excited," Kagami sighed, seeing her aikido instructor sitting in front row.

"Okay. This is full contact. You can use punches, kicks, throws, grapples, and locks, but no headbutts, no elbow or knee strikes, no hitting when on the ground. Three three-minute rounds, you can tap out at any time. Okay?" the referee said.

"No tickling!" Kagami said, making the audience burst into laughter.

"Darn," Konata said. They were using mixed martial arts gloves which would have allowed tickling. "Oh, Patty and Hiyori are there too! Yahoo!" she added, and waved at them.

"How come everyone is here tonight?" Kagami groaned.

"Okay, get ready! Bow … and, fight!" the referee yelled.

The audience roared, as Kagami and Konata started to circle each other, with their hands raised, trying to look for an opening.

"I can't believe we are actually doing this …" Kagami sighed. Konata used this moment to rush forward and place a few punches on Kagami's sides. "Ouch!" Kagami yelped, but she made an uppercut with her left hand and managed to hit Konata's jaw. Konata quickly took a few steps backwards.

"Oh, so you are a leftie! How devious!" Konata yelled through her mouth guard. The audience muttered.

"We live together! You know I am left-handed!" Kagami groaned. Immediately, she realized she had told everyone in the dojo that they lived together.

Kagami was momentarily distracted again, so Konata took the opportunity and slipped past Kagami's defense, again punching at her body.

Kagami grabbed Konata's hand and pulled it, trying to sweep Konata off of her feet. Konata jumped over Kagami's sweep, into the air, twisted herself and hit Kagami's chest with her left shoulder. Kagami lost her balance, but she didn't let go of Konata's hand, and pulled her onto the tatami with her.

For a while, they tried to grab each other's hand, leg or head into a hold or a lock, but neither could get through the other's defense. "Uh … let's spend the entire honeymoon in Akiba!" Konata said, trying to distract Kagami.

"… No! … The winner decides where we will travel to!" Kagami responded, pushed Konata off of her and jumped on top. The audience cheered and started taking pictures. Kagami looked up and shouted, "Hey!"

Konata used the moment to her advantage; she managed to wrap an arm around Kagami's neck. At the same time, Kagami caught Konata's leg in between her thighs and pulled it. They ended up entangled, neither unable to get a good hold. Kagami started to blush because Konata's leg was rubbing against a private area.

"Time's up!" the referee shouted.

"What, already?" Kagami groaned.

"Oi, Kagamin, did you enjoy that? You didn't want to stop?" Konata asked.

"No … and no! I would have won in a few seconds!" Kagami groaned.

"Yeah, sure … I guess I was saved by the bell, then," Konata said, and stuck her tongue out at Kagami.

Kagami glared at her, and Konata suddenly remembered that they still had two more rounds ahead. "Uh-oh …" she said.

After one minute break, they faced each other again. Again, they circled each other for a while.

Konata made a few swings, but Kagami deflected them with her arms. She was leading with her left fist, which made Konata forget that she was facing a left-handed person.

So, Kagami's quick left hand jab landed on Konata's cheek and she staggered. The referee stepped in between them and started counting.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Konata yelled, and rubbed her face. "Kagami, you tricked me!"

"Maybe now you remember that I am left-handed," Kagami said.

"Right. I'm not going to pull any punches. This means war!" Konata announced.

"… and eight! You okay?" referee asked, and grabbed Konata's gloves.

"Yeah, yeah. Let me finish her!" Konata hissed.

Kagami switched back to left-handed boxing. Next it was her turn to forget something, that is, which martial art Konata had been practicing. So, Konata surprised her with a high kick to the side of her head. She just managed to turn her head so that it landed on her skull and not on her face. Ignoring the pain, she grabbed Konata's raised leg with her right hand and threw a powerful cross with her left hand, which Konata deflected.

Konata pushed her foot against Kagami's shoulder and threw herself backwards. The surprising move made Kagami's hand slip and she let go of Konata's leg. Konata's other foot barely missed Kagami's jaw as she made a full somersault backwards, twisting in the air so that she landed on her feet facing Kagami again. The audience, referee, Kagami, and even Konata herself were stunned by this maneuver for a few seconds.

"H-how did you do that?" Kagami gasped, while the audience exploded into applause.

"I was thinking about this anime –"

"Of course," Kagami sighed.

Konata rushed forward and tried a couple of other kicks, but Kagami easily deflected them. The audience stomped its feet, whistled, and screamed – most of them seemed to cheer for Konata.

Realizing that her kicks were too slow and easily deflected, Konata slipped under Kagami's arms and into close contact, pounding Kagami's sides with her little fists. She protected her face by burying it into Kagami's chest, and had time and nerve to mumble, "Ohh, nice …"

While those hits were not very powerful, they started to wear down Kagami. She managed to push Konata away. _"I can't last much longer … I must do something!"_ Kagami thought. And, at that point, she got an idea.

Both combatants were catching their breath at the moment. Kagami glared at Konata and hissed, "Every day, you embarrassed me at school in a way or another … you copied my homework … you made me cosplay, in front of people … you dragged me into Comiket and wherever without even asking beforehand …!"

Konata's eyes widened, and she yelled, "Oh no! Tsundere Rage Building Meditation!"

"Stop referring to anime!" Kagami groaned. She felt as if adrenaline was being pumped into her veins. She was definitely getting into the mood.

"Kagami, that was not –"

Kagami's voice was getting louder, and she was spewing the words out quicker, "Calling me tsundere … stalking me on a shopping trip … cracking jokes about my eating and my weight … making me do weird things in that stupid truth or dare game … giving me alcohol and taking advantage of me in a love hotel …!"

"Kagami! I didn't –"

"Sayingthat … that _stuff_ while milking the cow!"

The audience had fallen silent.

"… and using Miyuki as a pillow! Just before the day I proposed to you!" Kagami screamed at the top of her lungs.

Kagami's eyes were burning like red-hot coals. A vein was throbbing on her forehead and all her muscles and tendons looked tightened. By now, even the audience was scared by her appearance, and some people from the front row quietly slipped away.

"A-and copying a collection of your cosplay pictures to dad!" Konata shouted. She had turned pale.

Kagami's jaw fell open for a split second. Then, she screamed, and rushed forward, unstoppable, like a juggernaut, and punched right through Konata's defenses. A straight punch into Konata's tummy, a left had uppercut into her cheek, and finishing with a right hand hook into her jaw.

Everything went black in Konata's eyes as she lost consciousness.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Something dropped onto her cheek. _"Is it raining?"_ Konata thought. Slowly, she became aware of the pain. Her muscles were aching, her stomach was aching, and her face was aching. Also, it was pitch black in here. Until she realized it was dark because her eyes were closed. She felt another drop on her face, and slowly and painfully, opened her eyes.

Kagami was sitting on the tatami, and Konata was lying on Kagami's arms. Kagami's face was above her. The drops on her face came from Kagami's eyes, for she was crying silently.

"Hiiragi, won't you let the doctor look at her?" Misao, standing aside, asked.

"Not now! Go away!" Kagami growled. "Oh, Konata … you are awake?"

"Yeah. Was I hit by a truck?"

"Sort of," Kagami replied, and smiled slightly. For a long time, Kagami had wanted sometimes to beat up Konata, after all the frustration and embarrassment she had given her. Now that she had actually done that, she knew she would never really do it. She could never hurt Konata. Her love and her good points surpassed all the annoyances, by far. Kagami just looked Konata in the eyes and tried to tell her all this without speaking aloud, because now she was again aware that there was an audience.

"Kagami-chan, that was amazing! You should enter a competition or something," Ayano said.

"I don't want to," Kagami muttered.

Someone cleared his throat nearby. "Excuse me, but I have to examine miss Izumi," the local fight doctor said.

"Mrs. Izumi!" Konata said. The girls around them started to laugh.

"Oh? Sorry, mrs. Izumi. I – uh – didn't realize you were married," the doctor said, and bowed.

"Konata, we're not married … yet. And I decide where we go to on our honeymoon!" Kagami announced.

"Darn," Konata said, and Kagami started to help her up.

"Hey, wait a minute! What did you say about cosplay pictures?" Kagami gasped.

"Uh … I copied them to my dad because I needed a favor … I thought this was a good time to tell you, since, well …" Konata mumbled. Seeing Kagami's expression, she quickly added, "I only gave him the clean ones!"

"If you ever do that again, you will be hurting much more than now," Kagami muttered.

Konata gulped.

* * *

I thought about what martial art would suit Kagami. MMA, Muay Thai (Thai boxing), kickboxing … but actually, I don't think Kagami is as violent as others think. She's just scary. Besides, she's got too much hair for those styles. Note that I'm not an expert with martial arts or any sports in general, so I might have gotten things wrong.

I don't watch sports or combat anime, so I have no idea what Konata was reminiscing.

Tsundere Rage Building Meditation is not from any anime as far as I know. :P


	17. Jedi Knight

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 17: Jedi Knight**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

Yeah, I know this is _really_ short and no good at all. But I just _have_ to move on. Otherwise I will get stuck forever.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Tsukasa, Misao, and Ayano were sitting on a bench outside the room where Kagami had taken Konata to see the doctor. They were rather quiet, thinking about what they had just seen.

"Oh, hi, Patty-chan and Hiyori-chan," Tsukasa noted.

Patricia had to support Hiyori, who looked pale and had tissues stuffed into her nose. Kagami peeked from the room, stared at her, and muttered, "Seems like the audience bled more than us…"

"Dad wad ingedible! Id made me wand do dwaw a spowts manma," Hiyori mumbled.

"What?" Misao asked.

"She said that that was incredible, and that it made her want to draw sports manga," Patricia explained. "I'm taking her to see the doctor, she almost fainted out there."

Kagami sighed, and muttered, "How could anyone be so excited by that?"

"Uh, sis … I too thought it was … umm … hot. Especially the part where you two wrestled …" Tsukasa said quietly. A rosy tint rose onto her cheeks.

Kagami rolled her eyes at her little sister.

"I think Hiyori liked the most what happened after you had knocked Izumi-san out. It was so sweet …" Patricia said. Hiyori just mumbled something and stared at the floor.

"Well, _I_ liked the punches and the kicks most!" Misao announced.

"I didn't want to hear any of that!" Kagami groaned. "Stop! Not you too!" she yelled at Ayano, who was about to open her mouth.

"I wasn't going to say anything about that! Kona-chan said she wanted to talk to us, that's why we are waiting for her here," Ayano said.

"And here I am," Konata said, as she staggered out of the room. She had a couple band-aids on her face, and was holding an ice bag in both of her hands, another on her head and another on the side of her jaw.

"Kona-chan, you look terrible," Tsukasa said. "Are you okay?"

Konata drew a deep breath, and said, "Well, I have concussion, I lost a tooth – we never even found it – I'm getting a black eye or two, my nose was not quite broken, one or two of my ribs are probably broken, there's a huge bruise on my bum – I don't even know how I got that – they said I can't have another fight for six months –"

"Stop, I'm feeling guilty enough already!" Kagami groaned, and wiped a tear off the corner of her eye.

Konata stopped smiling and turned unusually serious.

"No, no!" Konata exclaimed. "I deserved this. I … I made you cry. No, I don't mean now. I mean back then, when were playing that … stupid game."

"You made me cry?" Kagami asked. It took her some time to remember the incident. "Oh, that. Umm … it doesn't matter anymore ..."

There was a moment of awkward silence, until Misao asked, "Does it hurt?"

She sounded more interested than sympathetic.

"Only when I laugh," Konata said, and when she tried to laugh on that, it did turn into a grimace.

Ayano looked behind her and noted, "Hey, sensei is calling us. We were supposed to have sparring matches or something."

"Okay, see you later, guys. We are going home," Kagami declared.

"No! I must see Tsukasa in kendo!" Konata exclaimed, and tried to walk. Kagami caught her by the arm before she fell. "Really?"

Hiyori also said something, which Patricia again interpreted. "Oh, Hiyori says she have to see it too, even if she bleeds to death."

Kagami sighed. "All right then …" She didn't mention that she was getting rather curious herself. It seemed totally unlikely that Tsukasa would be in kendo. But she was, and had apparently completed be basic course successfully.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Okay, all who completed the basic course today, gather here!" the kendo teacher yelled. This group included Tsukasa and Misao, who joined the others. "Now we will have a little contest. I will randomly select pairs, and the winners advance to the next round."

"Knowing my luck …" Misao muttered.

"Kusakabe, you will fight Hiiragi," the teacher said.

"I knew it."

"Why, is my sister that good? So you don't like to face her?" Kagami asked.

Tsukasa rubbed the back of her head and giggled.

"No … you'll see why …" Misao muttered, and started putting on her helmet.

Soon enough – it looked like too soon for Misao – it was hers and Tsukasa's turn to take a bout.

While they couldn't see Misao's face, her posture looked somehow … uncertain. Kagami and Konata looked at each other, but neither seemed to have any idea what was going on.

Sensei ordered them to start. Right away, Tsukasa stepped forward and swung her shinai – bamboo sword – wildly from side to side. She knocked Misao's bamboo sword out of the way and hit her side on the return swing.

"Stop!" sensei shouted, and ordered the combatants to return to the starting positions.

Again and again, Tsukasa attacked in a completely unpredictable way, and Misao got hit on various ways. After three times, sensei said, "Hiiragi-kun … I'm afraid I'll have to disqualify you."

"What! No way!" Konata yelled, and grimaced in pain.

"But she destroyed Kusakabe!" Kagami exclaimed. "… I never thought she would be that good," she added.

"No, Sensei is right. This isn't Tsukasa-chan's sport," Ayano said quietly.

"Hiiragi-kun, while you attack very bravely, none of your strikes are made cleanly. You don't shout at all. You don't specify your target as you strike. And we've been trying really hard to teach you … wait, did you again hold your eyes close all the time?" sensei said.

Tsukasa pulled her helmet off her head, and smiled uncertainly. "Umm … well, sort of … yes, I did … I just can't help it. If I open my eyes I just get panicked and try to run away …"

Sensei scratched her head. "How can you win without even looking? That's amazing … but it just won't do, not in this sport."

"Yes, sensei …" Tsukasa sighed.

"She's a jedi knight …" Konata mumbled.

"She's what?" Kagami and Ayano asked.

But Konata didn't answer – she had a fit of coughing. Kagami noticed she looked quite pale.

"Konata, this is quite enough for tonight. We are going home, right now," Kagami said, and gently pulled Konata up.

As Kagami was leading Konata out, she suddenly stopped. "Wait! – ouch …" Konata said.

"What now? You are not feeling good at all. We should go," Kagami said.

"I remembered what I had to ask the threesome!" Konata yelled. "Misa-chan! Ayano-chan! Tsukasa-chan! Could you come to Comiket with us! I'll give you a lift! You don't have to pay anything!"

"Comiket? What's that?" Misao asked.

Tsukasa looked flustered.

"Comiket? That otaku gathering? Why?" Ayano asked.

"I … I, uhh …" Konata muttered, and grasped her side.

"Just say yes or no! Or she'll die before we get out of here," Kagami groaned.

"Okay! It sounds fun anyway," Misao exclaimed.

"Well … I haven't ever been in Comiket. I guess I'll see what it is like, then," Ayano said.

Tsukasa just gurgled and leaned on Misao and Ayano.

"We'll be there too, of course," Patricia said. Hiyori was still unable to speak, she just nodded.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"We are taking the taxi," Kagami said.

"No, that's expensive – I can –" Konata protested, but Kagami interrupted her. "No, you don't look too well – I meant, I'm tired! Tonight I don't want to walk any more than is necessary."

Konata chuckled. "Oh, Kagamin is worried about me!"

"Hey, we are not in high school anymore! We live together! We are engaged, for heaven's sake! So why am I embarrassed, anyway?" Kagami groaned.

"You are so cute when you blush," Konata cooed, making Kagami's blush even deeper.

Kagami glanced at her, smiled slyly, moved closer to Konata, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and whispered into her ear, "Of course I'm worried about you. Because, I love you, Konata…"

"Darn!" Konata said, as she felt her own cheeks burning.

It was Kagami's turn to chuckle.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Konata looked at the stairs. "Uh, Kagami. I'm really sore. C-could you carry me upstairs?" she said quietly.

Kagami stared at Konata, trying to see whether she was just trying to win the game of making the other person blush.

Konata just stared back, innocently, with pleading puppy eyes look.

Kagami sighed, turned her back and bent her knees.

"Not piggyback … carry me on your arms …" Konata whispered.

"That's … that's …" Kagami started, but when she thought about it, it didn't feel silly or stupid. At all.

"… okay …" she whispered, and lifted Konata onto her arms.

Konata didn't crack any jokes. She just stared into Kagami's eyes as she started to climb the stairs.

"Konata …" Kagami whispered. "… th-this is …"

"Hush. I know ..."

"_So sweet …"_ Kagami thought. Yet again, Konata had made her heart pound. "I guess you are hurting too much for any of _that_ …" she whispered, absent-mindedly.

Konata giggled.

"What, what? Did I think aloud again?" Kagami groaned.

"What have you done to my daughter?" a male voice asked, making both of them flinch.

Kagami looked up and saw Sōjirō Izumi and his new wife Yukari standing at their door.

"Hiiragi, did you beat up my stepdaughter?" Yukari gasped.

"No, I didn't!" Kagami exclaimed.

"No, she didn't," Konata confirmed. "Or, well, yes, she did, but it wasn't like that, you see –"

"Konata, could you let me explain this," Kagami groaned. "Come on in, then," she added, and sighed deeply.

* * *

On top of everything else, I realized I knew nothing about kendo, save the way how the bamboo sword is held, so I had to research that. Couldn't find out much…


	18. Cupidity

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 18: Cupidity**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Minami saw that the door to Izumi house was already open – she hesitated a bit, and stepped inside. Before she had time to shout anything, Yutaka ran towards her and threw herself onto her arms. "Minami-chan! Minami-chan!" she shouted.

"You sounded really weird in the phone … I came as soon as I could. What's wrong, Yutaka?"

"Sorry I didn't call you earlier, but I didn't want you to come before they left. Yesterday was horrible! They were swearing and shouting … I have never seen Yukari-san so angry …"

"What? That … evil stepmother! What did she do to you?" Minami gasped. She looked over Yutaka's shoulder, but didn't see the "evil stepmother" Yukari. Which was good, because at the moment she wanted to strangle her. "How she dares to make you upset!"

"No … she didn't do anything to me. She was shouting at cousin and Hiiragi-san. Can you believe it, they want to get married! And she totally lost her temper …"

"M-married … umm, who are getting married, Yutaka?" Minami stuttered. Marriage was something she had not thought about, and she had to stop herself from kneeling in front of Yutaka right away.

Yutaka felt a touch on her behind, in a _very_ private place. Her eyes widened, she turned bright red, and gasped, "M-Minami-chan! Not _there!_"

"What?" Minami asked. She felt a tug in her right wrist – the hand that was holding the leash. She had already forgotten that she had taken Cherry with her today. Peeking over Yutaka's shoulder, she saw that Cherry had stuck her head under Yutaka's skirt.

"Cherry! S-stop that!" Minami yelled, and pulled on the leash.

"Oh, it was Cherry-chan … that's why your hand felt so cold and damp …" Yutaka sighed, sounding a bit disappointed. Minami's blush turned bright crimson, and, realizing what she had just said, so did Yutaka's.

"A-anyway!" Yutaka exclaimed. "Izumi-san and Yukari-san didn't catch them, because they had ran away –"

"What? Yutaka, could we please sit down and then you could tell me the entire story … I'll put Cherry into the backyard."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Inori-senpai … I'm sorry about this evening. It's probably my fault," Miyuki said. They were walking towards the train station side by side.

Inori grabbed Miyuki's shoulder, stopped her, and turned her around. Then, she took a very long look at her, starting from the feet and ending up to her face. "S-senpai?" Miyuki gasped. It felt like she was being thoroughly inspected.

"At least it's not your looks!" Inori exclaimed. "I mean, you could dress up a bit more. You look way too nice … though, I don't know if there's a way to make you look anything else but innocent. High heels? A miniskirt? Fishnet stockings?"

"Inori-senpai! I couldn't! I'll just fall down if I wear high heels. And I catch a cold if I wear a miniskirt."

"Ah well. But, but the talk … you scared those two guys away. They looked like they had no idea what you were talking about."

Inori would not admit that she had had absolutely no idea about what Miyuki was talking about, either.

"They said they were in college, so I thought they would be interested in the philosophy of science."

"The … what? … Bah, never mind that! That's not something you should talk about if you just want to get laid."

"Inori-senpai!" Miyuki gasped. She cleared her throat, and continued, "I'm sorry that I ruined this evening. But … there was something in my mind. It's something … I guess I have to tell you. In concerns your sister Kagami-san."

Inori grinned and made a sweeping motion with her hand. "Never mind about tonight. I didn't really care about those guys anyway. So, what's the giant lesbian up to now?"

"She asked Izumi-san to marry her."

Inori's eyes widened. "Crap!" she yelled. "Kagami getting married before me! That's really embarrassing. We've _got_ to find ourselves men! And quick!"

"Oh, they won't be getting married very soon, because it's not allowed in the law for two women to marry. And my mother was quite … vocally against it too," Miyuki explained.

"That's a relief. We can keep on being picky, then," Inori concluded.

"Inori-senpai …" Miyuki said, and sighed.

Slowly, Inori developed a sly expression, which turned into a huge grin.

"I can't wait to see what Matsuri does when she hears about this."

Miyuki's cell phone started to ring.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Kagami sighed deeply. _"Awkward … why is everything always awkward, when it involves Konata …"_

At least Yukari wasn't shouting at them this time. Konata's dad – and "evil stepmother" – had came inside and sat down at the table like civilized folk. Konata had had to lie down on their futon, and so it was Kagami's duty to make tea, hoping it would taste at least half as good as Konata's.

Konata quickly explained why and how Kagami had beaten her up.

"So, I guess I own you an apology for yesterday," Yukari said sheepishly.

Kagami looked at her, surprised, but just muttered, "You were just shocked because it all came so sudden. I can understand."

Not that she felt particularly understanding. She slammed a tea cup on the table in front of Yukari, almost breaking it by accident.

"I'm sorry that I said all those things! But, you see … me and Sōjirō-kun are not actually married yet. And I just couldn't bear the thought that you would marry before me!" Yukari exclaimed.

Both Kagami's and Konata's jaws dropped.

The ability to speak returned to Kagami first. "But you were already married to Miyuki's dad for nearly twenty years!" she yelled.

"Oh, that. I forgot," Yukari muttered. "I guess I have to let you marry before me, then …"

"Besides, we can't get married. Not for now," Kagami added. "It's not allowed in the law."

"What? I didn't know that!" Yukari exclaimed, and her expression brightened considerably. "I guess I _am_ getting married first after all!"

Kagami sighed deeply. "You, Izumi-san" – she was talking to Sōjirō, of course – "… have you even asked her –"

"Oh yes, he did. He was on his knees and all," Yukari said.

"He was probably just trying to see under your skirt," Kagami muttered. Sōjirō just grinned.

"What?" Yukari asked absent-mindedly – she was admiring her engagement ring.

"Nothing!" Kagami gasped. _"I got to stop thinking aloud…"_

"Anyway, aren't you in a hurry? I mean, with the marriage. When is the baby coming out?" Kagami quickly added, trying to change the subject.

"Gosh, you're right, Hiiragi-san!" Yukari exclaimed. "If we don't do it really soon, I'm not going to fit in my dress! We need to reserve a place … a wedding cake … uh, what do we need to do? I have no idea. I have to call Miyuki!" she said, searching for her cell phone. "Oh no. Did I leave it somewhere?"

Konata, whimpering in pain, fished out her own cell phone. "I didn't misplace mine!" she announced. "Oh. The battery is out. I can't remember where the charger is."

"I left mine at home," Sōjirō said. "Its camera is so poor compared to digicam's so that I don't like to carry it …"

"In anime, the bride often has a maid of honor who takes care of things," Konata noted. "Miyuki would be excellent for the job! Hey Kagami, maybe we should ask her too when it's our turn?"

Kagami glared at her, sighed audibly, took her own cell phone and dialed Miyuki's number.

"Bridesmaids!" Sōjirō shouted. His – and Konata's – eyes where suddenly shining with excitement. "Not in yukatas," Konata noted. "No, of course not. Miniskirts?" Sōjirō asked.

"Yeah, we must see the absolute territory …" Konata muttered, eyeing Kagami.

"And Konata, you will be one of them!" Sōjirō's expression got even more excited.

"And Yutaka too? … So, I don't want you to try taking panty shots of her!"

"What kind of panties does she wear, usually?" Sōjirō asked innocently.

Unable to resist, Konata found herself starting to think about Yutaka's panties, and then she started to fear she was becoming like her father.

"Dad!" Konata yelled.

"What? What did I hear you two just say?" Yukari asked.

"Shut up, all of you," Kagami yelled. She sighed again, deeply, before Miyuki finally answered. "Miyuki? It's Kagami. Sorry to bother you … but your mother has something to ask you …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Konata's parents had finally left and they were alone again.

"Ow!" Konata exclaimed, yet again.

"Come on! You can't possibly be that sore!" Kagami groaned. She had already had to help Konata up, help her undress and bathe – not that she didn't enjoy that – help her dry herself, help her to dress up into her pajamas, and now Konata seemed unable to use a toothbrush.

"But I am, Kagamin! You beat me up so badly. I can't even lift my right hand. Maybe it's broken too," Konata complained.

"Just use your left hand. Weren't you ambidextrous anyway?" Kagami said.

"But, Ka-ga-miin …!" Konata moaned.

That particular pleading voice of Konata – it was the one she couldn't resist. Sighing, Kagami took Konata's toothbrush, put some toothpaste on it and stuck it into Konata's mouth. She tried her best to brush Konata's teeth by looking at the mirror, but mostly she just made a mess – and Konata trying to tell her what to do just made more foam to splutter all over the sink.

Kagami sensed the familiar burn on her cheeks, and realized that sticking something into Konata's mouth and pushing it in and out felt strangely … erotic. And the thought made her blush even brighter. Of course, Konata noticed what was going on and winked an eye at her. She grabbed Kagami's hand and guided it.

"Hey! You could have done this yourself!" Kagami groaned.

Konata mumbled something, probably, "Yeah, but I wanted to try this…"

"Finish it yourself. I need to brush my teeth too."

Konata rinsed her mouth and said, "I can do it for you, if you'd like?"

"I, I, uhh … I mean, no, I would not like that! Of course not! Sheesh!" Kagami exclaimed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Your parents … both of them are … well, different," Kagami said. That was the kindest description she could think of at the moment. They had finally gone to bed, and were lying side by side in the dark room.

"Yeah. Hey, remember I called Tsukasa a jedi knight? I meant … she threw herself into the fight … and won … with her eyes closed! Why didn't we do that?" Konata asked.

"Because we are not airheads?" Kagami said. She didn't quite know what Konata meant.

"No … I didn't mean fighting, actually … think of it, Kagami … we could have gotten together so much sooner … saved us those years of anxiety, loneliness, unhappiness …" Konata whispered. "I think I loved you from the very first moment I saw you, but it took almost three years before …"

Kagami turned, leaning onto her elbow, and put her palm on Konata's forehead. "I knew it. You are delirious. You have a fever."

"No … I'm serious. Why did it take us years to be honest, straight, and open to each another …"

"I understand your point, but that just isn't the way we are. We are Japanese. Not jedi knights. Or whatever."

Konata giggled. "At least we didn't wait until my deathbed."

"You're thinking of some anime again?"

"You know me well, Kagamin …"

Kagami lied down again and thought about it for a while.

Finally, she said, "That's nonsense. It would never have worked. We wouldn't have been ready – for anything! And think of what our parents would have said about two _15-year olds_. No way! They would have had us transferred, or something. Or … put me into a cloister."

Konata had a mental image of Kagami in a nun outfit. She shook it off and said, "So we had to suffer for such a long time …"

"We can't just close our eyes and throw ourselves into everything. And the longer we waited, the better it tasted at the end."

Konata chuckled.

"You pervert, I didn't mean _that_."

"Ouch," Konata said, stopped laughing, and pressed a hand onto her side. "Darn. It would hurt too much at the moment."

"I _said_ I didn't mean…! Oh, what the heck. Yes, I did. Of course I did …" Kagami sighed.

* * *

And also, Konata wasn't thinking of a shintō or a buddhist nun…


	19. The Hen and the Stag

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 19: The Hen and the Stag**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic, and this is also the longest chapter ever.

Akira and Minoru make an appearance. And, as weird as it may sound, so will Kenta. The boy who asked Kagami to give him the doll during their school trip, in Episode 21! I had to come up with a name because he had to have one in this chapter.

I hope you don't be confused too much when they view 'We Love Yukari!' video. That part was really hard to write.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

It was well past midnight before Inori was at home. She stretched her arms and yawned while she dragged herself upstairs. She saw light coming out of Matsuri's open door, knocked on the door frame, peeked in, and said, "You're still up?"

"Yes, I actually have to study for this exam," Matsuri groaned.

"Oh my, what a calamity," Inori said, and grinned. Matsuri glared at her. Inori was wearing a skimpy evening dress, and lots of make-up. It only served to annoy Matsuri more, seeing that Inori had been having fun while she had only studied – on a Saturday night.

"Anyway, have you heard that Izumi-san – I mean, the father – and the mother of my friend Miyuki are getting married?" Inori asked.

"I figured they would. So what?"

"Well, there's new development. Our dear little sister Kagami is also getting married, to that blue-haired maniac," Inori announced.

Dot – dot – dot …

Inori silently counted the seconds to Matsuri's explosion. As expected, she screamed something incoherent, which was a cue for Inori to duck the schoolbook hurled at her.

Chuckling to herself, Inori fled into her own room.

"What's the matter, dear?" Matsuri's mother Miki said, as she hurried upstairs.

"I don't want to talk about it," Matsuri muttered. "I decided to go out after all."

Her chair grated against the floor as she pushed it back and stood up.

"Shouldn't you be studying?" Miki asked.

"… I'll take the book with me," Matsuri sighed.

Kuroi-sensei – which she had begun to call the _old woman _in her mind – had called her earlier and asked her to a sleepover, but she had declined because she really had to study. But the thing she had just heard…

Slowly, Matsuri realized why she really wanted to go. It wasn't like she only wanted to be with the old woman.

She wanted to share the news with her.

Quickly, Matsuri moved around her mother, downstairs, and, grabbing her coat and shoes, got out of the house. Miki went into her room to turn the light off, and sighed, as she saw her book still on the table.

Matsuri was walked along the quiet streets in deep thought. "Maybe _she_ will ask me to marry her," Matsuri muttered, and frowned. It was a disturbing thought. She hadn't thought of their relationship being that serious. "Yech. What will I say if she _does_ ask? The old woman is totally desperate … she might actually do it."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" a familiar voice screamed.

Matsuri turned around and saw Kuroi-sensei's blazing eyes glaring directly at her.

"H-how long did you lis– I mean – O-oh, hi, sensei … I was c-coming over after all, I-I mean …" Matsuri stuttered.

"I was coming over and followed you and – … so, you say the _old_ woman is _desperate!_" Kuroi-sensei shouted, and grabbed Matsuri's collar. "I'll show you who's desperate … I SWEAR I WILL FIND A HUSBAND … this year!" Kuroi-sensei hissed. "Yes, I will be married before the end of this year!"

"Sensei!" Matsuri gasped.

"And you will be invited to the wedding! I can't WAIT to see your long face!" Kuroi-sensei shouted, pushed Matsuri backwards, turned around, and marched away.

Matsuri took a couple of deep breaths, but managed to come up with a reply. "I … I will find a man as well! Before you do … OLD WOMAN!" Matsuri screamed.

Kuroi-sensei had already turned around and went around a corner, apparently not reacting to what Matsuri yelled.

"Good riddance. I guess this wasn't meant to last," Matsuri muttered.

Yet, she felt a sting in her chest. "No, I didn't really like her! She's too old and … stuff," she assured herself. For now, she didn't even start to think what being at Kuroi-sensei's wedding would feel like.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next Friday, the four friends and Yutaka had gathered to Izumi house, into what had formerly been Konata's room but was now Miyuki's. Yutaka had just gone to get something from the kitchen.

"This is so fun … it's like one of our study groups again!" Tsukasa said.

Konata opened her mouth, but Kagami cut her short, "Konata, before you even _try_ to suggest anything, I say no!"

"Okay, so I won't take the snacks out of the bag then," Konata said.

"I didn't mean snacks and you know it!" Kagami groaned.

"They would have been healthy ones, too. Vegetable sticks and dip sauces," Konata muttered, pursing her lips.

"I know, I saw you preparing them! Give me the bag!" Kagami said, and tried to snatch it from Konata. It quickly turned into a wrestling bout. Tsukasa and Miyuki smiled as they watched them.

"So many memories …" Miyuki sighed.

"Yes, it feels like we're back in high school, but better - there's no homework!" Tsukasa said, grinning widely.

"You would have just copied me anyway, Tsukasa!" Kagami groaned. "And no tickling!" she yelled at Konata.

"Ow! Ow! Kagami! You're hurting me again! My ribs are still broken from the last time you spanked me!" Konata yelled.

"I never spanked you! And you are completely healed already! I should know –" Kagami groaned.

"Oo, Kagamin, are you going to describe the last night to your little sister and Yuki-chan?" Konata whispered, so loud that everyone could hear it.

Said little sister wasn't inexperienced with these things anymore, so she blushed just slightly and smiled knowingly.

After a minute, Kagami and Konata had finally disentangled their limbs and Konata was laying the snacks onto the table. Yutaka had bought a can of tea and cups from the kitchen.

"Ahem. As the maid of honor for my mother, I have called this meeting to plan the wedding," Miyuki announced. "The wedding ceremony will be at your shrine, Hiiragi-san, and I already made arrangements with Iwasaki-san. The reception will be at their house."

"What's the day?" Konata asked.

"It's at Midsummer day. Oh, and we have to hurry with the invites. I've got the cards and the list right here," Miyuki explained.

Quickly, she added a few names to her preliminary list and showed it to the others.

"Did I miss anyone? The entire Hiiragi and Kobayakawa families, all my mother's relatives, Iwasaki-san, Martin-san and Tamura-san, Minegishi-san and Kusakabe-san …"

"Kō-chan-senpai?" Yutaka suggested. "Kō Yasaka, I mean. She's a senior who always barges into our class to talk to Hiyori-chan, and she's become our friend too. Cousin, you'd like her – she's a huge otaku, always talking about manga and anime. I have her address."

"Is that so?" Konata said, looking thoughtful. She scratched her head, and muttered, "Isn't she that tanned blonde girl? I think I know her, from somewhere … other than high school …"

After a while, shrugged her shoulders, and said, "Well, I can't remember right now. Weird. I guess you should invite her and I'll find out."

To that, she quickly added, "Oh, don't be jealous, Kagamin. She's not my secret lover or anything. I'm sure I would remember that!"

Kagami's eyes narrowed as she glared at Konata. "Kagamin! … I'm just kidding!" Konata said, and giggled nervously. But, she made a mental note to try making Kagami jealous at some point. It might be fun.

"Oh, and, Kuroi-sensei, of course. We must invite her," Miyuki muttered, and added her name into the list.

"Oh, Yuki-chan, you are cruel!" Konata exclaimed.

Miyuki looked up, puzzled. "I don't know what you mean, Izumi-san," she said.

"Devious! You know what I mean!" Konata said, and laughed. "Anyway, Matsuri will be there too, so she should be okay."

Kagami flinched. "Matsuri. Uh … are those two still … friends with benefits?"

Konata burst into laughter. "What a funny way to describe it. But … I think they are. Sensei keeps rambling about her in the wee hours. In the online game, I mean."

Konata didn't mention how Kuroi-sensei's attitude toward Matsuri felt somehow different lately. As in, Kuroi-sensei seemed to want to strangle Matsuri.

"Oh, what does she say about our big sister?" Tsukasa piped.

"Umm …" Konata said, but, despite what had been going on, Tsukasa still seemed so pure and innocent. Konata blushed slightly, muttered, "… nothing important …", and giggled nervously. "Anyway!" she quickly added. "Who else we must invite?"

"Amahara-sensei?" Yutaka suggested.

"Ryōō school nurse? I guess we could," Miyuki said, and scribbled the name down.

"If we invite her, we must invite my former homeroom teacher Sakuraba-sensei," Kagami said.

"Oh, why is that?" Konata asked, looking curious. "Kagamin, you are blushing. Did you like Sakuraba?" she said, grinned, and nudged Kagami.

"Of course not! I just overheard something, that, uh –" Kagami muttered.

"Sis, you know you have to tell us," Tsukasa said.

"Yeah! It's something saucy, isn't it?" Konata asked.

"It was last year. I needed to ask Amahara-sensei something, and waited outside. She was talking with Sakuraba-san, and Sakuraba-san asked 'Would you marry me?'" Kagami explained.

"Oh," Konata said. "I couldn't think of two more different people than those two."

"I think they are good friends," Miyuki said. "And both are still unmarried. To tell the truth, I am a bit curious myself too … so let's invite them both."

"Yeah! More pairings!" Konata yelled. "That was one of my favorite teacher, I mean, staff, pairings at the old Ryōō."

"Konata … did you have enough time to think of such things at high school? No wonder you didn't do that well," Kagami said.

"Well, no. Thinking of pairings took just, like, five percent of my time in there. Do you want to hear about my other favorite pairings?"

"No," Kagami said, while Tsukasa said, "Yes," at the same time.

"Miyuki, please stop her," Kagami pleaded.

"Umm … I think I'd like to hear about, ahem, these pairings …" Miyuki said, not looking at Kagami.

"M-me too," Yutaka piped.

"It's a majority decision! Sorry, Kagami. So, I would have liked to see Kuroi-sensei, not with a teacher, but – sorry, Yu-chan – with cousin Yui," Konata announced.

"Yech," Kagami commented.

"Why? What's wrong with that?" Konata said. "Do you think it's better that sensei is … umm, getting off with your big sister?"

Tsukasa gasped and Kagami glared at Konata.

"No, definitely not! But … I just didn't even want to imagine those two airheads together. Remember our trip to the beach?" Kagami said.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I thought about. They both looked so sad and lonely on that trip. If they just had noticed each other," Konata reminisced. "It would have been so hot!"

"Yech," Kagami repeated. "Besides, your cousin is married."

"Well, how about the male teachers? Such as our Japanese teacher?" Miyuki asked.

"Miyuki!" Kagami and Tsukasa gasped.

Konata scratched her head. "Well, I didn't exactly pair up everyone in my mind. But, maybe … with the sports teacher!"

"Konata, why do you only have same-sex pairings in your mind?" Kagami muttered.

"Kagami, we got to be fair. If we pair up women, then obviously we have to pair up men as well. Besides, I like _yaoi_."

"Right … so who would have been your _father's_ ideal male partner, then?" Kagami asked.

"Kagami! That's … that's perverted!" Konata yelled, eyes wide in horror.

"Why is _that_ perverted, after all that you're been suggesting!" Kagami shouted back.

"Well … if you insist … his pair would have been … your father!" Konata concluded.

"Ewwwwww!" Kagami screamed. "Take that out! Take that image out of my head!" she continued, squeezing her head in between her palms.

"Um, girls, should we continue planning …" Miyuki muttered. "What about music? Should we hire a DJ or a band?"

Of course, Miyuki had to explain the concept of "_disukujokkii"_.

"I know!" Konata yelled. "Let's get Akira-sama! I've heard she's cheap."

"I hope pun was not intended," Kagami muttered.

"Our former classmate Shiraishi-san would know if she's available and how much it will cost. I've heard he's … sort of her manager, now," Miyuki said. "I can call him tomorrow."

"Mother said we can decide about the cake, catering, flowers, and things like that," Miyuki said, after finishing writing a note.

"A big strawberry cake!" Tsukasa exclaimed.

They looked at each other.

"Come on, couldn't we come up anything more imaginative?" Kagami asked. But nobody else seemed to protest.

"Kagami, you tell us, you are the expert on cakes," Konata noted.

"No, I'm not!"

"Oh, Anime figures on top!" Konata yelled. "I think I've got a pair who are just like dad and Yukari!"

"Strawberry cake, anime figures – Izumi-san, I am visiting the confectionary tomorrow. Could you find those figures and come along?" Miyuki asked.

"I hope they aren't among _those_ figures that –" Kagami started, but snapped her mouth shut.

"Kagamin, so _that's_ what it was. I saw you playing with some of them!" Konata said.

"I-I was just … cleaning! That's what it was!" Kagami protested.

"No, you were definitely stripping one of them, trying to see whether it was anatomically correct –"

"Shut up!" Kagami yelled, raising her fist.

"Kagamin … we can play with the figures together, if you want …" Konata cooed, and leaned on Kagami.

Kagami let her hand drop. She already knew she didn't want to hit Konata anymore. "Okay, okay … you don't have to tell all our private matters to others … not even to Tsukasa."

"It's all right, sis. I won't tell anyone," Tsukasa said. Secretly, she crossed her fingers under the table, and added in her mind, _"Except Ayano-chan and Misa-chan."_

Yutaka just listened to their conversation wide-eyed, hoping they kept ignoring her presence. The grown-up girls had such interesting … ideas.

"Anyway, we were talking about catering … and something," Kagami quickly tried to steer them back on track.

"And flowers and decorations," Tsukasa said. She grinned, because for once they were doing all sorts of things she knew more about than her sister – or Konata for that matter. However, she didn't say anything else. Instead, she turned her head, looked at Miyuki and secretly held her finger to her lips for a moment. Miyuki nodded, just so slightly.

"So?" Kagami asked.

Tsukasa and Miyuki both looked at her expectantly.

"What? Cat took your tongue?" Kagami said.

"Sis, we don't own a cat?" Tsukasa said, looking puzzled.

"You don't have any ideas? Well, then …" Kagami looked at Konata for assistance, but Konata seemed completely lost in thought as well.

"Uh, since Yukari-san has pink hair, t-the decorations and flowers should be … pink?" Kagami suggested.

Tsukasa burst into laughter, Miyuki tried not to.

"No, no, sis! That's completely wrong!" Tsukasa said, and wagged a finger at her big sister.

"Tsukasa!" Kagami groaned, but her expression changed quickly. "…I guess I deserved that. I've been playing you down all the time. You two should decide about the decorations," she said, looking at Tsukasa and Miyuki.

"Don't worry, sis. You are good with everything else. Except … cooking and cleaning … and girly things … and make-up," Tsukasa said, and patted her sister on the back. "… and looking after children … and ironing … and fashion, tea ceremony, flower arranging, and –"

"Thank you Tsukasa, that's quite enough," Kagami groaned.

"She tried to wash dishes once and broke two plates," Konata added. "Oh! And the thing what happened with the laundry!"

"Konata, please don't tell –" Kagami groaned.

"She put her deep red lingerie in the machine along with all the white ones. So we've got a nice, big collection of pink underwear now –"

All the other girls guffawed.

Kagami banged her head onto the table. "That was _really_ embarrassing, you know …" she muttered.

"But, Kagamin … you like to be embarrassed," Konata said.

"No, I don't!"

"Sis, you had red lingerie?" Tsukasa asked, blushing slightly. "When did you get that? It doesn't match your complexion at all!"

"I-I got it a long time ago. I went to the mall and into the lingerie shop … and I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't mean to buy those things! It was temporary insanity!" Kagami claimed.

"Kagamin … I know why. You wanted to surprise me with sexy lingerie! I bet that's what you were thinking at that time. Even when we weren't together yet. Well – and you did surprise me, in a way. It's the thought that counts. And, for once, Kagamin looked really _moe,_ when it happened!" Konata concluded.

Kagami just groaned, keeping her face firmly on the table.

"Yu-chan!" Konata suddenly gasped. "How long you've been sitting there and listening?"

"All the time, cousin …" Yutaka piped.

Konata tried to remember what they had talked about. "I hope we didn't say anything not suitable for minors."

"Cousin, I'm not quite as … inexperienced you think," Yutaka noted.

"Oh, right. Still humping like rabbits with Minami-chan?" Konata said, and winked an eye.

"Cousin! We don't –" Yutaka closed her mouth, but it was too late.

"You haven't even done it yet?" Konata asked, looking a bit surprised. "Well, if you need any advice at all, just ask me and Kagami! We will explain everything in graphic detail!"

Kagami groaned again.

They took a little break, then, Konata and Kagami started to write the invitation cards and envelopes, while Yutaka, Tsukasa and Miyuki planned the "girly things" for the reception.

"Bachelor party!" Konata shouted, startling the others.

"Konata! I almost ruined this card!" Kagami groaned. "Why did you shout like that all of a sudden?"

"We've got to have a bachelor party for Yukari-chan!" Konata yelled. "There was this anime –"

"Konata, stop living in anime!" Kagami yelled.

"I think you mean the hen night, Izumi-san. A bachelor party is for the fiancé, and hen night is for fiancée," Miyuki noted.

"What?" the others asked in unison.

"Bachelor party is for fianc_é_, and hen night is for fianc_ée_," Miyuki repeated, trying to pronounce the French words as well as she could.

Konata shook her head. "Nope. Those still sound exactly the same."

"…never mind that!" Kagami said, but she continued, "… what's a hen night?"

"Hen night! Actually … that sounds kinky!" Konata exclaimed.

"Konata, it's in English. It's not Japanese _hen_, but English hen. It means a chicken, basically," Kagami said.

"The hen night, or bachelorette party, is a party for a woman to be married, held by her friends. And a bachelor party, or stag night, is for the man, _id est_, the bachelor. But those are Western traditions," Miyuki explained.

"What?" Tsukasa asked, since Miyuki's explanation had sounded like gibberish to her.

"I have seen those parties in anime!" Konata announced.

"Yeah, we got it already," Kagami muttered.

"But what happens if we give Yukari-san alcohol?" Yutaka asked.

The others stared at her.

"What? I know how most of us, uh … fared, when given alcohol …" Yutaka muttered.

"It's no use. When my mother drinks alcohol, she just blushes and giggles. That's all," Miyuki said.

Now everyone was staring at Miyuki.

"Did you say, 'it's no use'? _No use!_" Kagami exclaimed. "Miyuki, you really are evil."

"Ahem … I mean, it is the point of a hen night to have fun, before you get into married life," Miyuki explained, strangely emphasizing the word _fun_ in that sentence. "I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression."

"Yuki-chan is right. You're supposed to get drunk at a hen night," Konata declared

Kagami gasped and put her hand on her mouth.

"Kagamin? What's wrong?"

"It's mom … she goes crazy when drunk …"

"Oo! We must have her at the hen night! That's something we got to see!" Konata yelled in excitement. "Anyway. Another thing. In America, they always hire a male stripper for that party."

"Eww!" was the others' reaction to that.

"What, you'd like a female stripper more? I bet Kagamin would!"

"That's not the point!" Kagami groaned. "I mean, I don't like any kind of stripper!" she quickly added, but she had the tell-tale blush on her cheeks.

"How about a cosplay stripper? Like, Yuko Littner from Gurren –"

"There isn't much for her to strip, is there?" Kagami blurted. "I-I – what I meant, is, no! No stripper at all! … and this is not _our_ hen night we are planning!"

But now Kagami's eyes were wide open and she was breathing slightly heavier than usual.

Konata chuckled. "Kagamin, have you forgotten when I dressed up like Rikku and then stripped for you? You loved that! Just looking at me almost made you c–"

Kagami's blush deepened into crimson and she groaned, "Stop right there! Not again! I didn't want my little sister to hear that! Or _anyone!_" Of course, she had been thinking exactly what Konata said.

Tsukasa was also staring at Konata and blushing brightly, while Miyuki just seemed lost in thought. Konata glanced at her. "Yep, you're straight all right."

"What? Oh, I was thinking of a Finnish tradition. They put the fiancée into sauna and … maybe we could have the hen night at Iwasaki house as well?" Miyuki asked.

"I'm sure it will be okay. I'll call Minami-chan later and ask her," Yutaka said.

"We can have the hen night at week before the wedding, at Sunday," Miyuki said, checking her calendar. "Yutaka-san and I can handle the invitations for that one? It's not a formal party, so we just call everyone."

Yutaka nodded.

"This will be so awesome!" Konata yelled.

"You just want to see all the girls nude," Kagami muttered, remembering the sauna and pools at Iwasaki house.

"Don't you?"

"Yes – I mean, no! And many of them are my relatives!"

"Kagami, it's okay if you look. Heck, you know _I_ will look anyway," Konata said, and patted Kagami's back. She was glancing at Miyuki, who blushed.

"All right. You can look but not touch … what am I saying? Konata, you have truly turned me into a complete otaku," Kagami groaned.

"Mission accomplished! First place on high score list!" Konata announced. "Though I don't think this is exactly an otaku-specific thing …"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kagami sighed.

"Okay, sis, Kona-chan. How does this look?" Tsukasa asked, and showed her notepad to them.

"What is this? A dress?" Kagami asked.

"Wow, Tsukasa-chan! I didn't know you could draw that well!" Konata said in awe.

"Well, I can draw clothes and dresses … and princesses and other cute things," Tsukasa said. "This dress is for the bridesmaids."

"Bridesmaids?" Kagami asked.

"Kagamin, don't you even know what that is?" Konata asked.

"You definitely know I'm not good with household chores!" Kagami protested.

"Bridesmaids are not maids –" Konata started, but seemingly forgot what she was saying.

"What now?" Kagami sighed.

"Maids … maid dresses … sorry, I was just daydreaming. Anyway, bridesmaids are members of the bride's wedding party. They are usually unmarried, young friends or relatives of the bride," Konata explained. "At the wedding, their jobs is look nice … and to entertain –" Konata's mouth remained open as she froze yet another time.

Kagami knew this look. "Konata! Stop thinking of hentai!"

Konata chuckled nervously. "You know me well, Kagami. In this case, the bridesmaids won't be doing _that_ … uh, what exactly they _are _doing, Miyuki? The anime didn't show it."

"Nothing much, really. They assist the bride and in the wedding-related events, such as the bachelorette party and the bridal shower."

Immediately, the four other girls had a mental image of Yukari standing in the shower in her wedding dress. Konata burst into huge laughter, and the others giggled.

"Uh, she's not actually taking a shower. A bridal shower is a gift-giving party for a bride-to-be," Miyuki explained, when she saw their confused and amused expressions.

"I don't think we need yet another party," Kagami said. "Since if we are having a hen night and a wedding reception already."

"And your mother doesn't need more gifts, she's filthy rich!" Konata noted. "Besides, she's got my dad's wallet now as well."

"Konata!" Kagami groaned.

"That was a bit hard, Kona-chan," Tsukasa said as well.

"I don't mind if she spends it. I don't need my dad's help – I'm earning more than him!" Konata announced.

Tsukasa, Miyuki and Yutaka gasped.

"Yes, it's true," Kagami sighed. "She is a big doujin dealer now."

"But, that's great … I think," Tsukasa said, looking at her sister worryingly.

"It is great. I just have to study and practice for ten years or so before I will be earning that much," Kagami muttered.

"I don't think I will ever be rich," Tsukasa said. "But that doesn't matter. I like taking care of people."

"Tsukasa-chan!" Konata yelled. "I just remembered I haven't yet seen you in nurse's outfit!"

Tsukasa giggled. "Sorry, Kona-chan, but you will be disappointed. It's not that pretty, like the dresses of those, uh, anime nurses."

"Hey, could we get back to the subject!" Kagami said. "… umm … what were we talking about?"

"Dresses. Bridesmaids' dresses," Miyuki said.

"I think Tsukasa's suggestion looks very pretty," Yutaka said.

"Yeah, me too!" Konata agreed. "Unless we could, like, cosplay as maids?"

"No, I don't think that would be appropriate," Miyuki said. "Tsukasa, could you handle the bridesmaids' dresses? We need to get them fitted."

"Sure. I know where to get these!" Tsukasa said. For once, she was an expert in something. "These won't be too expensive. Maybe we can buy them?"

"We can pay part of the costs from the budget, and bridesmaids can pay the rest, since they can keep the dresses," Miyuki said. "There's us five, and, Iwasaki-san, Kusakabe-san, Minegishi-san –"

"Patty and Hiyorin did say they want to come," Konata said. "I'll text them about this right away. Yes, Kagami! I remembered to bring my phone, and I even charged the battery!" she added, waving her cell phone in the air.

"Should I be impressed when you manage something like that?" Kagami muttered.

It didn't take many minutes before Konata got a reply. "Patty says that if you're dressing girls in miniskirts, they definitely want to be part of it!"

"How about your big sisters?" Miyuki asked the Hiiragi twins.

"Well, they are unmarried, so – I think they might like to be bridesmaids," Kagami pondered. "I guess I will call them."

Kagami fished out her cell phone and selected Matsuri's number.

"Matsuri? We are planning the wedding –" at this point, Kagami moved the phone away from her ear for a while. "Why are you screaming?" she hissed, after the noise level had toned down a bit. "Izumi-Takara wedding is at Midsummer Day and they want you as one of the bridesmaids."

Of course, Kagami had to explain what a bridesmaid was. After some more discussion, including talk about the hen night, she ended the call. "I don't know what's bugging her, but she agreed to be a bridesmaid. And she's coming to hen night."

Next, she called Inori, and got an approving answer, with much less explaining and screaming involved.

"That's that. Is there anything else we need to plan tonight?" Kagami asked.

"Just the hen night. What should we do? It has to be something saucy! It's her last night as an unmarried virgin," Konata noted.

"Konata … she's not exactly, like, you know …" Kagami muttered. "Uh, never mind … I must stop thinking of that."

"Yutaka-san, could you handle the food and drinks with Iwasaki-san?" Miyuki asked. After Yutaka had nodded in approval, she continued, "Konata and Kagami can handle the entertainment. And I have something we can do in the sauna. Is this okay?"

"Aww-right! It's going to be a sensation!" Konata yelled. "I've got a ton of ideas already!"

"Fine, but one thing … Truth or Dare. That is out of the question! Got that?" Kagami growled.

"Why, of course. I'll come up with something much better!" Konata announced.

"That's what I'm afraid of! You will discuss it with me first!" Kagami declared.

"Sure," Konata said, and winked an eye.

"I mean it!"

"Hey, what was that you said about the sauna, Yuki-chan?" Konata asked, changing the subject.

"It's just something boring … something I heard about in Finland and researched later. Umm … you'll all see what it is, at the party, okay?" Miyuki said, and coughed.

"Oo! If even Yuki-chan is keeping a secret, it must be something really saucy!" Konata yelled.

"Sauna … that place is far too hot for anything saucy," Kagami muttered.

"Sis, you tried it too?" Tsukasa asked.

"Tried it … too? Too! You mean, you have – no, I don't even want to think about it! I didn't even want to know!" Kagami gasped. "And _just_ when I had temporarily forgotten that you are with Kusakabe!"

"Yes, and with Ayano-chan too!" Tsukasa corrected.

"Minegishi I don't mind, but Kusakabe …" Kagami muttered.

"Why, sis? I think Misa-chan is a lot like Kona-chan," Tsukasa said.

"Hey!" Konata yelled.

Kagami slowly turned her eyes at Konata "Hmm …" she muttered.

"Kagami!" Konata groaned.

"I can see a few similarities…"

"No! Bad Kagamin!" Konata yelled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yes, it fits, but it's too short. Much too short!" Kagami complained. It was afternoon sometime next week, and everyone had gathered at the shop for fitting the dresses. Kagami had reluctantly put on the bridesmaid's dress. She refused to show it to anyone, but Konata had just barged into the fitting-room without missing a beat.

"But Kagamin, they won't even notice how fat your thighs are. They will just look at all the bare skin and forget –"

"My thighs are not fat! And I didn't like the sound of that … wait, what? Who are 'they'?"

"Oh. That's right. It's not the cosplay café! It's a wedding," Konata remembered. "I guess it's just dad, then. Or does your father like to look –"

"My dad is a priest!" Kagami screamed. "He doesn't look at girls' absolute territory!"

"Kagamin! You remembered 'AT'! Just because I like it!" Konata yelled, and leaped onto Kagami's neck.

"What? What did I say? … oh, crap. A lawyer shouldn't be using otaku slang!" Kagami groaned.

"Don't worry, in a few years _everyone_ will know what that means!" Konata announced. "Anime will take over this country!"

"Hey, lovebirds. Come out and show yourselves," Matsuri's voice said, and the curtain was pulled away. "If I have to embarrass myself with this dress, you must do it too."

Indeed, everyone was now wearing similar dresses. And everyone was showing more or less of their absolute territory. Konata whipped out a digital camera from nowhere and began snapping pictures.

Matsuri screamed and started to chase Konata, but she ducked in between the other girls and ran around the shop, far too slippery for Matsuri to catch. "Delete those pictures!" Matsuri screamed.

"Hey, don't you know you'll be filmed at the reception anyway!" Konata yelled.

"That's different! I had to time to set my hair! I'm not wearing nearly any makeup!" Matsuri yelled, and bumped onto Miyuki as she chased after Konata. Matsuri turned red as Miyuki cushioned her impact with her buxom body, took a couple of steps back, and couldn't help comparing her own figure to that of Miyuki's. Secondly, Miyuki's figure reminded her of Kuroi-sensei, which didn't exactly improve her mood.

"You … you midget. If I ever see those pictures anywhere, I'm going to beat you so badly that you look as blue as your hair!" Matsuri growled at Konata.

Konata gulped. Matsuri had sounded quite convincing. "R-right-o … I won't upload those ones, then …"

"Konata. Have you been 'uploading' pictures somewhere?" Kagami said, with a tone that approached Matsuri's.

"Yes … no! Not yours! I edited your face out!" Konata stuttered.

"Konata!" both Kagami and Matsuri yelled.

Quickly, Konata thought up a defence, as both Hiiragi sisters approached with an intention to strangle her. "Kagami, you do know that you've been photographed like crazy at the café?"

"… wait, what? Me, in a maid dress, all over the internet?" Kagami gasped.

"Of course. Me and you both. And –" Konata shut her mouth.

"And? And?" Kagami asked with enthusiasm.

"Uh, there's lots of software which is used to edit photographs … um, creatively …"

Kagami groaned and pulled her hair.

"Don't worry, I haven't found anything too bad yet," Konata tried to console Kagami.

"I guess wedding photographs won't make things any worse," Kagami sighed.

"Hey, could you edit my photographs so I would look prettier?" Matsuri asked.

"I'm not an expert, but sure, I can improve them a lot," Konata said.

"I didn't like the way you said 'a lot'," Matsuri noted, glaring gloomily at Konata.

"Hey you three! Have you stopped fighting already? We're going to take group photos!" Inori shouted.

Kagami and Matsuri bumped into each other as they tried to enter a fitting room with had a mirror.

"Kagami, get out! Since when _you_ have needed a mirror?" Matsuri complained.

"Since Tsukasa said I was ugly!"

"Sis! I never said that!" Tsukasa protested.

"Don't worry, Kagamin, just a little make-up and you will look almost pretty!" Konata exclaimed. "Just leave everything to me, like at the part-time job."

"I didn't like the way you said that, but all right …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Konata parked her Subaru Vivio and she and Kagami, as well as Matsuri and Inori, stepped out. The elder sisters gasped in awe when they saw the huge yard, and the awesome size of the Iwasaki house. "The venue of the hen night that became a legend throughout the country!"

"Konata, please don't insert weird narrative," Kagami muttered.

"Anyway, it's a great place, isn't it?" Konata said, looking smug.

"Why are _you_ so proud of it?" Matsuri muttered.

The elder sisters decided to take a walk in the garden, while Konata and Kagami stayed in the yard.

"So many memories," Kagami said quietly.

"Our first kiss?" Konata asked.

"Yeah … I kissed you …" Kagami said, and wrapped a hand around Konata's shoulders. Her jaw twitched and her eyes watered – never mind what Konata thought, for Kagami it had been one of the most important moments of her life.

"I will never forget it!" Konata announced. A moment later, she added, "Umm … did it happen here?"

"Yes! Last Christmas! Inside! Under the mistletoe!" Kagami groaned.

"Just kidding! Of course I haven't forgotten it. How could I? Your lips were dry and cracked. Your breath smelled weird and you tasted like burnt popcorn. But it was really, really warm …" Konata whispered.

"Yeah, well, I had just taken a sip of barley tea which was too hot and burned my lips … hey, you took those lines from some anime, didn't you?"

Konata was actually blushing a bit, to the amusement of Kagami. She whispered, "Yeah, well, we watched Toradora together, and you liked it too. But, I, umm, wonder how it would feel … like, now…?"

Kagami looked around, and since there was nobody in sight, decided to let Konata know.

"Toothpaste. And coffee," Konata noted.

"And you obviously didn't even brush your teeth this morning," Kagami muttered.

"Wo-hoo! You two lovebirds just can't keep your hands and lips off of each other!" a piercing voice called.

It was Patricia. She and Hiyori had just arrived. Hiyori was quickly scribbling something onto her notepad. Everyone's jaw fell open as they saw them. Because, Patricia was holding a leash, which was in turn attached to Hiyori's collar. In addition to a collar, Hiyori was wearing a corset and a black skirt.

"What's with that attire?" Kagami asked.

"Oh, since we've got so many queer girls here, I wanted to make sure everyone knows she's mine," Patricia explained. "Besides, she asked me to."

Hiyori just smiled briefly, she was too busy writing ideas down at the moment.

"Anyway, Hiyori, next time you put us into one of your doujins, please change our appearance more," Kagami growled.

"But Kagamin, didn't you like her doujin which featured us?" Konata asked.

"It's not about whether I liked it or not! I'm afraid someone recognizes us."

"Don't worry, I'm sure lawyers and judges don't read doujins," Konata consoled her.

Hiyori looked at Kagami and Konata, gasped, and started scribbling furiously.

"Great. Now you inspired her to do a lawyer-manga," Kagami groaned.

"This will be an original work! A gorgeous _tsundere_ lawyer, brilliant in court, yet so hopeless with her love life…" Hiyori muttered.

Patricia giggled, being familiar with American TV. "Hiyorin, all that has been done a thousand times…"

"Speaking of lovebirds, there's three more," Konata noted. They turned to look and saw Tsukasa, Misao, and Ayano coming through the gate, hand in hand.

"Hello, guys … oh, she's your dog now?" Misao noted as she saw Patricia and Hiyori. "Anyway. This place sure brings lots of memories in mind. Like the time you forgot me inside the fridge!"

"Too bad that we've got grown-ups here this time, so it might not be that fun," Konata said.

Kagami shivered. Her mother would be attending too. She was afraid it would be a bit _too_ fun. "And my big sisters are here too. I'm not sure how Inori and Matsuri will react …" she muttered.

"Speaking of the devil –" Konata added, turning to look in the other direction.

A devil she was referring to had just walked from behind the house, and glared at her with narrowed eyes.

"Ooh, scary!" Konata said, and sought shelter from behind Kagami.

"I need a drink," Matsuri muttered, and walked indoors. The others looked at each other, puzzled.

"She didn't even greet us?" Ayano said.

Inori, who was following Matsuri, said, "Hello, everyone. I don't know what's wrong with her. She's been like a bear with a sore head for weeks."

"I can guess why," Konata said. "Don't tell anyone, but Kuroi-sensei slipped out that they broke up. And I think it wasn't pretty."

The other girls gasped. "But sensei is coming here tonight!" Tsukasa exclaimed.

"Yeah, exciting, isn't it!" Konata said.

"Miyuki arranged this. I really suspect she's not as nice as she looks," Kagami claimed.

"Yuki-chan is the nicest person I know!" Tsukasa protested. "I'm sure she just wants them to make out."

The others burst into laughter.

"Tsukasa, I think you meant, 'make up'," Kagami corrected.

Another car stopped by the gate. It was Tadao Hiiragi, giving a lift to his wife Miki and the hen herself, Yukari.

"Weird. This is so weird. I couldn't imagine having a wild party with my mother," Konata said.

"Konata, this isn't going to be a wild party," Kagami said, but she wasn't too confident herself.

"Hi, girls! We brought loads of more drinks! Tonight, we are going to have so much fun!" Miki yelled. There was a faint aroma of sake wafting towards them already. She was leaning on Yukari and carrying a huge bag, which tinkled as she put it down to rest her arm. Miki was wearing a rather skimpy black dress. Yukari, on the other hand, was wearing sweats and an apron.

"Mother!" Kagami and Tsukasa gasped. "Oh no, she's getting drunk," Matsuri and Inori both muttered.

"Kids, I bet you haven't even seen real partying yet! You know, when I was your age –" Miki started to recite a tale.

"Mom, no! We don't want to hear!" Tsukasa interrupted and blocked her ears.

Konata guffawed shamelessly, while the others laughed.

"Kagami, was your pure image of your mother shattered?" Konata said, and nudged Kagami with her elbow.

"I didn't have that kind of image …" Kagami muttered.

"Kagami-chan, what kind of image you did have of your mother?" Miki asked.

Kagami turned red. "Uh, I …" she stuttered, but couldn't find the words.

"I need to get you drunk to hear the answer, it seems," her mother said.

"Yeah, that works!" Konata agreed.

"Mom! Konata!" Kagami groaned.

Kuroi-sensei was walking in, behind Miki and Yukari. She was wearing only a bikini top, a wraparound skirt, and sunglasses. She dragged a huge and heavy-looking cooler along her.

"Hi, Izumi, and all the others," she said. When she said, 'all the others', she also somehow managed to exclude Matsuri from the greeting and denying that she was present at all. Likewise, Matsuri succeeded in not seeing or hearing Kuroi-sensei at all. She didn't look interested at all and was currently chatting with her big sister Inori.

"Where's your cousin, Yui, by the way? I tried to call her but she didn't pick up," Kuroi-sensei asked Konata.

"Oh, she's working. She dented her car – police car, I mean – and she has to work an extra shift," Konata explained.

"Ah well. I guess I will just to have fun with just you guys, then," Kuroi sighed. Again, 'you guys' definitely did not include Matsuri.

"What's in the box, sensei?" Tsukasa asked.

"Beer! I remember that this posh place didn't have any in the fridge the last time, so I came prepared," Kuroi-sensei said. "Want one?" – a question she directed at Tsukasa.

"Sensei!" Kagami groaned.

"Come on, Kagami. Tsukasa is getting drunk anyway," Konata said.

Kagami decided not to argue, because, well, she knew it would probably happen. It was not really her duty to watch over her sister, since she had two girlfriends now. _"Except … one of them is Misao…"_

Kuroi-sensei took a canned beer from the cooler and tossed it at Tsukasa. Of course, she didn't catch it, but it landed softly on the grass and she picked it up. "T-thanks, sensei … I have never tasted beer!" Tsukasa commented.

Everyone else went silent and turned to look at her.

Tsukasa giggled nervously, pulled the tab open, and took a sip – but failed to swallow it. A mouthful of foam burst out of her mouth, and she coughed violently.

Kagami patted her sister's back and asked, "Was it that bad?"

Tsukasa coughed a few more times, and said, "N-no, I think, but I can't drink from a can … I need a straw."

"Aww, that 's so _moe_!" Konata said. She and Kuroi-sensei clinked their cans together, before taking a swig.

"Konata, don't drink that stuff. It makes you, uh …" Kagami muttered.

"What?"

"Flatulent!" Kagami whispered.

"Yeah, this does make me fart!" Konata said, not lowering her voice at all. "I'd better move on to sake, then."

"Just don't drink too much. You're so light that you get drunk easily."

Before Konata replied anything, Kagami added, "And no jokes about my weight!"

"Great Hiiragi, I'm not afraid of you bulk!" Misao shouted. "I challenge you to a drinking contest!"

"I won't take part in a drinking contest!" Kagami said empathically.

"A quitter!" Misao shouted. "A quitter will get a forfeit!"

"I didn't agree to play this game!" Kagami groaned.

"Hey, everyone, Hiiragi here has to be punished! What should we do?" Misao shouted.

"She has to drink one bottle of sake!" Miki announced.

"Mother!" Kagami groaned. But, under all the peer pressure, she soon found herself in the living room, surrounded by everyone, and swigging it down.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The Izumi house felt eerily quiet and the ticking of the wall clock sounded really loud. All the females of the house – and there had been plenty in Hiiragi residence – were having the "hen night". Izumi's blue-haired daughter had insisted that Tadao and Sōjirō should have a "bachelor party" while they were away. The women of neither household were expected not to return until next day.

Tadao Hiiragi had greeted Sōjirō at the door, and … that's about it. They were sitting in the kitchen, having some sake in silence. The only thing they had in common was that their daughters were lovers, and that's generally not a pleasant subject for their fathers to talk about. Sōjirō did have some ideas about what a stag night should be like, but he didn't feel that those ideas were presentable to a Shinto priest.

The doorbell rang; Tadao was happy to have something to do and rushed to the door.

Two rather timid-looking young boys were standing there. One, taller one, had short, brown hair and another was a slightly pudgy one. Tadao recognized the first one – that boy had been in the same high school as her youngest twin daughters.

"Yes?" Tadao said.

The boys bowed and the first one spoke, "Sorry for the intrusion … Hiiragi-san? Is Izumi-san here as well? I'm Minoru Shiraishi. Izumi-san, I mean, Konata Izumi, asked me to, umm … come here for, uh, a bachelor party. She said you two don't have any male friends –"

Tadao frowned.

"S-sorry! But that's what she said! I didn't believe her! She's, uh, you know …" Minoru stuttered.

"Yes. In fact I know," Tadao said, and sighed. _"She's right, in a way. All my mates are priests … except for __Sōjirō…and I don't even know him!"_ he thought, and said, "Okay, come in, Shiraishi-san, and – ?" he looked at the other one questioningly.

"This is my friend Kenta … Izumi-san asked me to bring friends, but everyone else was busy," Minoru explained.

"H-Hiiragi?" Kenta gasped, and looked like he was about to panic. Now, he realized whose house this was. Kagami Hiiragi's! Of course, after a few months, even he had realized in his pudgy head what impression his letter to Kagami had had and how stupid he had been. Now, he could just hope that Kagami wasn't present. "I-is Kagami your d-daughter?"

Tadao took a sharp look at Kenta. "Yes, do you know her?"

"No! I mean, only from school … I went to same school …" Kenta muttered.

"Well, Kagami isn't here tonight," Tadao said. Kenta sighed in relief. "Why don't you two come in, then," Tadao added.

If possible, it had gotten even more awkward, and the ticking clock sounded even louder. Now, there were _four_ men who had nothing in common and nothing to talk about, sitting an evening. They could just drink sake to pass the time.

"I'll get it!" Minoru quickly yelled and ran to the door as the doorbell rang again.

A young – too young, as she looked in Minoru's eyes – pink-haired girl, in a miniskirt, skimpy top, with a cigarette in her hand and a designer handbag in the other was at the door. Glaring angrily at Minoru, as expected. Minoru would have been worried if Akira had looked anything but resentful.

"Welcome, Akira-sama! We are honored to have you here, Akira-sama," Minoru said, and bowed deeply.

"What is this address? Why is there a temple right next to it? Why is my gig at a private home?" Akira growled, and inhaled from her cigarette.

"But, Akira-sama, I told you this was a private party –" Minoru tried to explain.

"I had to pay for the taxi myself! Where's the band? I don't see the van anywhere!" Akira hissed, blowing a cloud of smoke at Minoru's face.

Minoru coughed. He was so used to Akira's temper that he had to stop himself from smiling. _"Yet you did come, when I asked you to…"_ he thought. It was a heart-warming thought. He cleared his throat, and explained, "We couldn't afford to have the band tonight –"

"Don't tell me this is karaoke again! I hate listening to amateurs! _I _am a singer! A professional!" Akira screamed.

"Akira-sama, these are the clients of that wedding party next week. T-they are your huge fans! They are _extremely_ honored to have you here! They wouldn't _dream_ of insulting you by singing themselves, unless you gracefully permit it," Minoru said, loudly, and hoping the others would hear this and take heed.

Akira snorted, dropped her cigarette butt and stomped on it. She stepped inside, sat onto the porch and held out her leg. Her miniskirt showed plenty of it, from the cute ankle to well over half her thigh. "Take my shoes off!" she commanded.

Minoru crouched in front of Akira, took a hold of her slim leg, covered with pantyhose, and slipped her high heels off. Lately, Akira had started to make him do these things – taking her shoes off or putting them on, and even helping her with costumes. _"Is she just teasing me or does she want me to touch her, or see her half-dressed…"_ Minoru wondered. Yet, Akira never showed any sort of reaction to his touch or his gaze, so he concluded that she was doing it just to torment him.

"Akira-sama, you shouldn't be smoking. It might hurt your voice," Minoru muttered.

"Shut up!" Akira yelled, and squirmed a bit. "And you're tickling me! Stop fondling my foot! Are you one of those perverts who like feet?"

There was definitely one in the kitchen. Sōjirō heard their conversation and cried silently, because he had forgotten to prepare his camera in time.

"Enough! Stop it, you clumsy oaf!" Akira screamed, and kicked at Minoru, who dodged and moved away. He was accustomed to Akira's sudden bouts of violence. Akira scratched her itching foot and removed her other shoe herself, stood up, and, beckoned by Minoru, entered the living room.

"What a simply ghastly place!" Akira exclaimed. "Do you expect me to perform in this place?"

"Akira-sama! I'm a huge fan of yours! M-may I take a picture?" Sōjirō gasped, fumbling with his camera. "And could you sign this CD …"

"No! Put that camera away! I must use a mirror first! Where's the bathroom?" Akira yelled.

"This way, Akira- uh – sama," Tadao said. He wasn't comfortable calling this kid with such honorific.

While Akira was preparing, Minoru instructed the others to move some furniture to arrange at least some sort of a stage for her, and set up the equipment he had bought.

"Akira-sama, which song you want to perform? _'Misoji Misaki'_?" Minoru asked as Akira came back.

"You should already know that I will never sing that again! It didn't even make the top fifty singles! I hate that song!" Akira screamed.

"But, Akira-sama … fifty-first place on the list is very good –"

"Quiet! I shall sing _'17 Sai No Wakai'_!" Akira growled. "Put it on!"

"Yes, Akira-sama! Right away, Akira-sama!" Minoru said, and fumbled with the touchscreen, making Akira tap her foot impatiently.

All he got out first was three seconds of ear-piercing audio feedback. At least it masked Akira's swear words, until she moved a bit and pointed the microphone away from the speakers.

"…ing clumsy oaf! I hate amateurs!" Akira screamed, but as the intro finally started playing, she instantly seemed to transform into a professional singer and snapped her mouth shut.

_"Kagami o mite mo hakuhatsu…"_ the song started.

Minoru sighed, and sat down, getting a moment of rest while Akira sung. Like an angel. And not looking into the screen for words. _"She actually trains hard…"_ Minoru thought, and smiled, which made Akira glare at him, but she still didn't miss a beat.

As the song ended, all the four men applauded with sincere enthusiasm.

"Akira … -sama! That was incredible! Umm … Akira-sama, may I ask … how old are you?" Sōjirō said.

"Almost seventeen, why do you ask?" Akira said, glaring at Sōjirō.

"Oh, that much?" Sōjirō blurted out. "So that's what the song was about…"

"I don't like your tone! It sounded like it's a bad thing that I'm so young!" Akira screamed.

"No, old. I mean, you're already that old," Sōjirō muttered. "Weird, you don't look that old!"

"What the hell!" Akira screamed.

Unknowingly, Minoru had developed a big grin on his face. _"Yes, that's true, she's sixteen! Hey, isn't that … legal?"_ he thought. _"Uh, what a weird thought."_

"And why the hell are YOU smiling again!" Akira screamed at him.

Quickly wiping the grin off his face, Minoru shouted, "Sorry! Sorry, Akira-sama! I'm sure Izumi-san just meant that you are very cute and that you look so much younger than sevent – I mean sixteen!"

"Uh, yeah! That's what I meant!" Sōjirō confirmed. Suddenly, he was thinking of his new wife. Yukari was rarely angry, but when she was, she was quite like this Akira girl. Just not all the time, like this one. All sorts of anime definitions for the singer came to his mind, but he decided not to vocalize any.

"Hmph," Akira snorted, and sat down at the table, beside Minoru. "How rude. I won't be singing any more. Pour me sake!"

"Akira-sama? I-isn't that … you are just sixteen, I mean, sake …" Minoru muttered.

"Shut up and pour me sake!" Akira screamed.

"Yes, Akira-sama!" Minoru said, and took the closest cup he could find. It was his own sake cup, but he didn't quite register it at the moment. Quickly, he poured sake into it and handed it to Akira.

Akira was checking her face with a pocket mirror and didn't realize what happened until she had taken a sip from the cup. Immediately, her cheeks turned bright red.

"What the hell are you thinking, you stupid ass!" she screamed. "Giving me your own cup to drink from! Did you think to give me an indirect k-kiss, you pervert!"

Minoru's cheeks turned red as well. "S-sorry! I wasn't thinking of anything like that! I just made a mistake with the cups! I'll get you a clean cup right away!"

"Never mind! It's too late, I already used this disgusting slimy cup!" she shouted, downed the rest of the sake, and hissed, "Pour me more!" Minoru knew her expressions thoroughly; she didn't look so much angry but embarrassed. Minoru himself had rather mixed feelings as he realized that they had indeed shared an indirect kiss. _"Akira-sama … no way …"_

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"My new mother is really hot, isn't she?" Konata asked Matsuri, who happened to sit on her other side.

Matsuri looked at Yukari. "Indeed she is! For her honor … I'll toast to …" Her eyes traveled – carefully avoiding Kuroi-sensei – until she stopped at Patricia at the end of the table, and gave her an approving nod. Kuroi-sensei glared first at Matsuri, then at Patricia, snorted, and took a large swig of beer.

"… to her all the beautiful girls of both hemispheres of the world!" Matsuri concluded, and sipped from her glass.

"In that case, I'll toast … to the beautiful both hemispheres of all the girls in the world!" Konata announced loudly. Some of the others – those who weren't too drunk not to understand – burst into laughter.

After Konata had emptied her glass, she added, "Especially Kagamin's."

"Konata … please, my mother is here!" Kagami whispered.

"What? I haven't even seen her pair yet," Konata said.

"Kona-chan, you will be surprised to see how perky they still are!" Miki shouted, cupped hers with her palms, and wiggled them. "And, mind you, I breast-feeded all my daughters!" Miki shouted.

"Mom!" Tsukasa yelled.

Kagami banged her head onto the table and groaned.

"Kagami, how about the show?" Konata asked.

"Ah, that," Kagami said, and raised her head. "Konata suggested all sorts of entertainment … but at least one of them was, uh, not too weird. So, as you know, we visited you all with a video camera and forced you to answer questions … honestly."

"And I put together a compilation!" Konata announced, and waved a DVD in her hand. "So, let's gather to Minami-chan's huge TV set and watch it."

Konata turned the TV on and put the DVD into the player.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

First, there was just static on the screen, next, a title "We love Yukari!" appeared, with 'The Mikuru Legend of Love' as the background music.

The audience cheered and applauded.

The next things was Kagami appearing on the screen and saying, "I can't believe her taste for men!"

Kagami in the audience screamed, "Konata! I told you to cut that part!"

"But Kagamin, let's be honest, as you said!" Konata said.

"I will –" Kagami growled, but she shut up as the Kagami on the screen continued, "Anyway … I guess I can only say, congratulations. And I hope you all are happy together. Basically … that's what I'm going to say. Okay, Konata?"

"Perfect, Kagami!" Konata's voice said, and the screen went blank.

"Konata, you cut my actual lines!" Kagami groaned.

"But I thought that was the better take. You honestly said what you thought!" Konata explained.

"Konata! What have you done with the other –" Kagami was interrupted by Miki. "Hush, Kagami. I want to hear what they say."

Konata's grinning face filled the screen. "My new mom! I never thought I would get a new mom like you! Please take good care of dad! And Yutaka! And … hmm …"

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything else?" Kagami's voice said.

"You told me not to say _those _things," Konata muttered. The screen turned black again.

"What? What would you have said?" Yukari asked Konata.

"I'll tell you later –"

Minami's blushing face filled the screen. Mercifully, the camera was zoomed a bit backwards. "Go on, Minami-chan!" Yutaka's voice said. "Please say the same thing you told me … it was so nice …"

"Yukari-san, I – uh …" Minami stuttered. "I mean, that … you have … umm … always been like a mother to me too …"

Both the Minami on the screen and in the audience was now staring at the floor.

"Good job, Minami-chan," Yutaka's voice said.

"Aww!" Yukari yelled. "That was so adorable!"

The camera turned, pointing at Yutaka.

"Uh, is it my turn? O-okay … Yukari-chan – oh! It's okay to say Yukari-chan? You are so honest, kind and fun person. And my uncle seems so happy with you … what else can I say? Umm, have a good life with him … and I'm happy to get a new sister …"

"I believe she, or he, will be your cousin," Miyuki's voice said. The camera turned to Miyuki, firmly focusing on her chest region.

"Konata! I shouldn't have let you film!" Kagami groaned.

"Mother, I'm sorry that you grew apart from dad …" Miyuki muttered. "I will keep in touch with him, I hope you don't mind. After all, a person has only o-one dad …"

At this point, the camera finally turned to show Miyuki's face.

Miyuki sniffed, and continued, a bit shakily, "But you deserve to be happy, and I give you my blessings. And I too am very happy to have a new sister or brother … Izumi-san, could you turn it off now …"

There were multiple "aww"s from the audience. Yukari was wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, and then blowed her nose into it noisily.

"Wow, is that shorty's new mom? She's hot! I mean, really hot!" Misao's loud voice announced. The camera waved around, until it finally focused onto Misao, who, in the video, was looking at a photograph.

"Misa-chan, you have met her already, don't you remember?" Ayano's voice said. "And couldn't you say anything nice to her?"

"What's wrong with saying she's hot! 'cause she is! I can't believe she's, like, forty years old!" Misao yelled.

"Hey!" Yukari shouted. "I'm not forty yet!"

The audience was laughing.

"Yukari-san, take it as a compliment!" Miki yelled.

"Ayano?" Konata's voice said, and the camera turned to point at Ayano. "Well, I don't know you very well. So, I just say, congratulations, I guess."

"How about you, Tsukasa?" Konata's voice said again, and Tsukasa was displayed on the screen.

"Wait! You didn't give us any time to think what to say! I – umm, I myself can't imagine their child … is it, like, half Kona-chan and half Yuki-chan? No, no, I can't say that! You will cut this, won't you, Kona-chan?"

"I'll do my best," Konata's voice said.

"Kona-chan!" Tsukasa moaned.

The screen blinked and the view was blurry, for the camera was being waved around.

"I couldn't get to Kuroi-sensei in time, but now I and Kagami are here at Hiiragi household. Mr. Hiiragi is busy today, but here's Miki Hiiragi –" Konata's voice reported. The camera finally focused at Miki in the kitchen, wearing an apron and drying her hands.

"Konata-chan, what are you doing? No, don't film me now! I'm not prepared!" Miki said.

"Don't worry, I'll edit it!" Konata's voice said. "So, what do you think of Yukari Takara, my new mom?"

"Her daughter is smart," Miki said. "Wait, I can't say something like that! Let me think … okay, start from here, okay? Yukari-san, you are a honest and good person. I hope you and Izumi-san will have lots of happy years ahead. Just don't have four daughters!"

"Mom!" Kagami's voice moaned.

"As they say, few children, little joy, many children, many sorrows!" Miki added.

"Stop it, mom! It couldn't have been that bad! Konata, please cut all that out from the finished video, okay?" Kagami groaned.

Miki in the audience giggled. "I wasn't really serious. We've had so much fun at the expense – I mean, with the children …"

The camera was moving upstairs, and came to an open door. As it stopped, Matsuri was seen sitting at her desk.

"What's this? Konata, Kagami, why are you filming me?" she growled.

"We want you to say something for my new mom," Konata explained.

Matsuri scowled at the camera. "I'm not in a mood for that. Come again later."

"Matsuri, we won't have time to do this later," Kagami explained.

Matsuri sighed. "Bah. So what do you want me to say?"

"What do you think of my new mom? And this marriage?" Konata asked.

Matsuri muttered, "Yeah, she's great … congratulations and so on. She's pretty hot for someone that old. I'm a bit envious, actually. Your dad, on the other hand … brrr! …" Suddenly, Matsuri flinched. "Hey! Are you going to show this to them?"

"What are you doing?" Inori's voice said.

The camera turned to show the eldest Hiiragi daughter who was peeking into the room. "Oh, hi, Inori. Do you want to say something to my new mom?"

"Konata, you'd better cut what I said earlier!" Matsuri's voice yelled.

"I visited Miyuki earlier this week and had a long talk with Yukari," Inori said, and looked thoughtful. "If you are going to show this to her, I'll just say, she's great fun to be with. And, congratulations! I really hope you will be happy with _him_."

"Inori, the tone you used when referring to my dad …" Konata muttered.

"Well, he is quite –" the screen went black at this point.

"Konata-chan, why did you cut that just when we would have heard something interesting!" Miki said.

"You can ask Inori. I think Patty-chan and Hiyorin are next," Konata commented.

"Yahoo! Thanks for treating us, Yukari-san!" Patricia yelled at the screen. She was wearing a fluffy pink dress with a very generous neckline – and soon enough, the camera was pointing at there.

"Konata! Not again!" Kagami groaned.

"You mean the fireworks festival day last year?" Hiyori said. Patricia nodded, and the camera turned to Hiyori, who was wearing only a towel wrapped around her.

"Konata, don't film me … you should have given us time to prepare! Anyway, I think we haven't met you since, Yukari-san, but we had fun … and you gave me a few nice ideas for my doujins … uh, sorry, is it okay to say that?" Hiyori added.

"Of course!" Konata declared from behind the camera.

"What else? We look forward for the wedding!" Hiyori said.

"And the miniskirts!" Patricia noted.

"And that concludes our 'We Love Yukari' video!" Konata's voice said.

The screen went black and a nearly endless list of text scrolled on the screen at lightning-speed, accompanied by 'Hare Hare Yukai'. Most of the credits, from 'Director' to 'Producer' seemed to been given to Konata Izumi.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The audience applauded and cheered at the film, although more than one viewer had something to say to Konata, who apologized profusely. "Sorry, I got carried away. But my new mom isn't angry, are you?"

Yukari just waved her hand as if brushing the thought away. "Not at all … I lost track of who said what anyway – that video was a bit confusing. But thank you, everyone!"

"Uh, at least it was short," Kagami muttered. "Except the end titles … Konata, did you copy all that from Suzumiya Haruhi?"

Miyuki stood up and raised her voice, "Listen, everyone – after dessert, we are giving mom a Finnish Bridal Sauna! I heard about it in Finland and made research."

"I-is it going to hurt?" Yukari gasped.

"Just a little," Miyuki admitted. "But it brings a lot of good luck for marriage."

"I haven't ever been to a Finnish sauna! What is it like?" Miki asked.

"Extremely dangerous, when Konata is around," Kagami muttered, still resting her head on the table.

"Hey! It wasn't my fault alone!" Konata protested.

Minami and Yutaka came into the living room, already wearing bathrobes. "Sauna is hot and ready," Yutaka announced.

"Everyone, let's prepare for sauna!" Miyuki said.

"You mean, let's get naked! Last one in the showers is a rotten egg!" Konata yelled, and started to unbutton her shorts.

"Yuck! Rotten eggs smell terrible!" Tsukasa yelled, and quickly removed her skirt.

"Hiyori, turn around, so I can unlace your corset," Patricia commanded.

Kagami just sighed and started to unbutton her shirt. "And, Konata … no comparisons … and no comments about mine or my mother's …"

"Comments of what?" Konata asked.

"You know what!"

Soon enough, everyone had undressed, although most of them modestly wrapped a towel around them or wore a bathrobe.

"What are all these things?" Tsukasa asked. Miyuki had handed them several things to carry into the sauna.

"You'll see. First of all, mother, please step in and sit on the highest level. We'll throw water on the stones," Miyuki said.

Giggling a bit, Yukari removed her towel and sat down. "There's hot in here!" she noted.

Miyuki took some water and threw it onto the stones.

"Whew! It's getting even hotter," Yukari commented.

"Please, close the door," Miyuki said. "Lots of the steam is getting out."

The others closed the door and continued peeking through the glass.

"Next, I have to whip you with this," Miyuki explained.

"What? Whip me?" her mother gasped.

"This is a bunch of fresh birch branches –"

"Oo, so it's like a switch! My own daughter is going to whip me! Is this a punishment?" Yukari asked, but she didn't look particularly distressed.

"No, it's good for the circulation," Miyuki said, and gently whipped her mother's back. "And it cleanses the person so that she is ready to wear the white bride's gown."

"Oh, I see. It smells nice too," Yukari commented.

There was a flash – Konata had opened the door slightly and taken a picture.

"Izumi-san … please don't upload these pictures anywhere," Miyuki noted.

"Don't worry, these are for our private use," Konata explained.

"Konata …" Kagami sighed. "No, don't elaborate on that!" she added, as Konata opened her mouth.

"Next, I'll rub this flour onto your hair, mom, so that there would always be bread on the table," Miyuki said, and poured a generous handful of flour onto Yukari.

"Great! I like bread!"

"Although we Japanese should probably use rice for this. Next, salt," Miyuki said, and rubbed a handful of sea salt into her mother's back.

"It tickles!"

"Why salt, Yuki-chan?" Konata asked.

"There's a Finnish saying 'old salt makes you thirsty', meaning someone thirsts for her old love. This prevents it," Miyuki explained.

"I don't think I would have done that … but better safe than sorry," her mother commented.

"Then, I'll pour honey on you. It makes the marriage sweet," Miyuki said as she squirted honey from the bottle.

Yukari giggled again. "This is like … like food play!"

"Mom!" Miyuki gasped, and blushed since she had made it perfectly obvious being aware of what it meant.

Konata laughed aloud, the others looked more or less puzzled. "Come on, guys. Haven't you ever heard of food play? We did it too, remember? I think someone licked whipped cream off of Patty-chan's –"

"Okay, that's enough! More things I don't want to remember," Kagami groaned.

"Kagami, I want to hear about this!" her mother Miki exclaimed, looking more curious than shocked.

Kagami sighed. "I guess someone will tell you, so maybe I should before the others exaggerate the tale. But it's a long story…"

"And last, I must do this!" Miyuki announced, and slammed a raw egg onto her mother's head.

"Oww!" Yukari exclaimed. "That hurt! … what is this? It's all slimy!"

"It's an egg. A symbol of, uh, fertility …" Miyuki stopped since she realized that it was a bit late to assist her mother's fertility.

"Yuki-chan, I don't think I'll have any more children after this one," Yukari said.

"Yes, mom … well, it's just part of the tradition. Now, you can wash yourself."

"Thank you, Yuki-chan. This was, hm, interesting," Yukari said, and stood up.

"We'll need this birch whip later, so I will take it. Girls, if any one of you wants to get married soon, you should sit on the same spot that my mother used. It brings good luck for marriage," Miyuki explained.

Inori was the quickest to take advantage of the opportunity, with Konata on her tail. "Darn! Missed it!" Konata shouted.

"Now, mom, if you have any ex-boyfriends you might yearn after, you should run around the house naked and shout their names. One lap per boyfriend," Miyuki said.

"Ha! Ha!" Matsuri laughed. "Maybe I should run around shouting Kuroi-sensei's name –"

She snapped her mouth shut. "Damn, damn alcohol!" she groaned.

Kuroi-sensei glared at her, turned around and stomped out.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Akira slammed her sake cup onto the table and announced, "I hate your party. It's totally dead! I want to go to a nightclub!"

Tadao and Sōjirō first looked at each other, then at the two young men. All of them shook their head.

"Well?" Akira said, sounding slightly more impatient.

"Sorry, Akira-sama, but none of us has been to a nightclub…" Minoru said.

"Not recently," Sōjirō added. _"Like, in twenty-four years,"_ he thought, but didn't say that aloud. "We don't even know any nightclubs."

"Gosh, how boring. Don't you know anything? _Womb_ is not very far from here … and _Satyricon_," Akira listed, counting with her fingers. "I think I'd like to go the _Dungeon_ tonight. And I'm not going to walk there, so you'd better call a taxi!"

The men looked at her wide-eyed. Even the names sounded scary.

"Hey," Tadao gasped, "Aren't you underage?"

"Who cares about that! I'm a star! Star, star, star! Get it? I never stand waiting in lines like commoners. They all practically fight to have me!" Akira exclaimed, and stood up. "I'm going to the ladies' room. Meanwhile, call the cab!"

Minoru quickly took out his cell phone and did as ordered. They waited in awkward silence, until Kenta asked quietly, "Uh, guys … what _is_ a nightclub?"

"It's a restaurant, or a bar … disco … or something. Which is open until dawn. I think," Minoru explained.

"Is there karaoke?" Kenta asked. Unfortunately, Akira had just returned and was standing behind him.

"Karaoke! Karaoke, at a nightclub! Geez, are you a redneck or something?" Akira screamed. "Do we have to take that meathead with us?" she said, looking at the other three men.

"A-Akira-sama, I only asked because I hate karaoke!" Kenta exclaimed.

"Oh! That's the first intelligent sentence I hear from you," Akira said, her expression changing. "Nobody who hates karaoke can be all bad! A toast to that! Where's my cup? My _clean_ cup?"

"Akira-sama, I'm sorry, but we ran out of sake," Minoru said.

"You'd better pray the cab is here soon," Akira hissed, and marched away. There was a loud bang as she slammed the toilet door close.

"Did anyone call the cab?" Minoru asked. All the others had their cell phones out. Sōjirō nodded. "It's on its way."

"Shiraishi … how can you stand her? She's kind of cute, but …" Kenta said.

"I'm her manager. It's my job. Or one of my jobs. I just have to," Minoru explained, and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess … I'm used to it."

Sōjirō and Tadao looked at each other, then at Minoru knowingly.

"What? No, it's not that! I don't like her! Definitely not!" Minoru protested.

Unfortunately Akira had just come back to the living room and heard what Minoru said. She didn't say anything, and looked a bit pale. She took out a cigarette, and lit it with slightly shaking hands, having found a lighter from somewhere. "Uh … is the cab coming?" she said, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yes …" Sōjirō said. They started to gather their coats and shoes.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Now, mom, you have to throw this bunch of birch branches onto the roof," Miyuki explained. She had asked everyone to the back yard and was pointing at the roof of the terrace.

"Why?" Yukari asked.

"Throw it first, I'll tell you."

"Go for it!" Miki shouted.

The bunch landed onto the roof sideways.

"Oh," Miyuki said. "If it had landed the leafs pointing up, your child would have been a girl … the other way around, you would have a boy … but this …"

"But it's sideways!" Misao said, stating the obvious.

"What does that mean?" several of the others asked.

"I think …" Miyuki continued, scratching her head. "… it means you will have both."

"That's nice – wait, what? As I said, I didn't plan of having more children after this," Yukari said.

"So it means …" Konata said.

Kagami looked at her, realizing what she meant. "Uh, I can't even imagine that."

"Yep. You're having twins, Yukari-san!" Konata concluded.

"Whaaat?" Yukari yelled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Matsuri poured cold water over her pounding head. She had drank too much too quickly, and had been sick at the toilet a while ago. At least it had sobered her considerably. Drinking to forget one's worries … of course she knew from past experience that that never worked.

She stared at Patricia and Hiyori as they entered the washroom. Patricia was still holding Hiyori in a leash. The difference was that Hiyori was now wearing a collar – and nothing else. Matsuri felt her heart starting pounding. Strangely, she remembered how Kuroi-sensei had lifter her onto her arms and carried her into the bedroom. "Uh, I'm turning as perverted as Kagami and her midget girlfriend …" she muttered.

Kuroi-sensei wasn't looking where she was going and almost bumped into Matsuri as she entered. Matsuri let out a little scream and tried to cover her strategic parts, and frantically looked around for her towel. Kuroi-sensei stared at her and her eyes narrowed, and then she took a step closer. Matsuri backed up but was cornered against the tiled wall.

Kuroi-sensei's towel slid off as she forgot about everything except Matsuri. "Sensei? D-did you find a husband already?" Matsuri said as Kuroi-sensei pushed her against the wall. "You little brat…" Kuroi-sensei hissed, and grabbed Matsuri's shoulders.

Miki Hiiragi's jaw fell open as Kuroi-sensei passed her, carrying her struggling daughter Matsuri on her shoulder – both of them naked as in the day they were born. Matsuri saw her mother and her eyes widened. "Uh, mom, this is just –" she said, but that's about all she could say, because there really wasn't any "this is just" kind of explanation to it. Kuroi-sensei turned a corner and rushed upstairs, into the nearest bedroom, and slammed the door shut behind them. Miki took a step or two towards the stairs, but stopped. _"T-they are both adults … I hope … they know what they are doing,"_ she told herself.

Suddenly Miki remembered something from her own wild college years. Experimenting … it wasn't been nothing quite as serious as her daughters seemed to have. "I guess it's not 'just a phase' for them."

Sighing, she turned and continued walking. "Well, at least there's still Inori. She will definitely marry and have children. Twenty-five percent success!"

Kagami was standing nearby, drying her hair, and heard her. "Mom, that's a terrible thing to say!" she groaned.

Miki chuckled. "I meant my own success. I didn't mean you are a failure."

"Gee, thanks," Kagami replied with sarcasm.

"There's police are at the door!" Inori's voice shouted. "S-sorry, miss policewoman! Were we too loud?"

"She must be the stripper!" Konata yelled. "Bring her in! Everyone, the strip tease is about to begin in the living room!"

"Konata, did you hire a stripper?" Kagami asked.

"No … I thought someone did?"

A loud, drunken voice yelled, "You want a strip tease? I'm in! I'll make it hot!"

"Oh, it's just cousin Yui," Konata sighed.

"Mom! This policewoman is taking her clothes off!" Inori yelled.

"Tell her to wait a moment! I want to watch!" Miki shouted.

"Mom!"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Let's go to a nightclub!" Konata shouted. They had enjoyed hours of sauna, hot tubs, lots of drinking and eating, and for a while they had been arguing about what to do next. Nobody had had any good ideas, until Konata announced her idea.

"We can't go to a nightclub!" Kagami protested.

"Sure we can. Except for Yu-chan. Are you okay with it, Yu-chan?" Konata asked her little cousin.

"Of course. You go on and have fun. I'm a bit tired anyway, so I'm staying here with Minami-chan," Yutaka explained. Minami just nodded.

"Does anyone know of any nightclubs?" Miki asked.

Most of the others shook their heads.

Yui said, "I have been to a few, but it was work. So I don't remember anything of it."

"I know one called the Dungeon. It's easy to reach if we take the train," Konata said.

"How do you know anything about nightclubs?" Kagami asked.

"I was searching something from the 'net and stumbled on that one. The name was so interesting!" Konata explained. "I thought it would be a fantasy-themed cosplay café, but it was a nightclub. So I don't think there is any cosplay."

"Nobody else here even wants to see any cosplay," Kagami noted.

"I would –"

"Mom, you're just drunk!" Kagami interrupted Miki. "Bah, I give up … actually, I've never been to a nightclub. Let's go, then."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Soon enough, they were standing in the line for the nightclub called the Dungeon.

Tsukasa turned her head back and forth, and her lips were moving. Then, she raised her hands and started to count with her fingers, with a squint-eyed expression.

"Tsukasa. What are you doing?" Kagami asked.

Tsukasa had a slight lisp, as she explained, "We got to wait for two more people. See that sign? _'18 to gain admittance'._ But there's only 16 of us in the line!" On top of that, she hiccupped.

Kagami tried not to laugh, but Konata and the others had no such inhibitions and started cackling madly.

"Ow, ow. My sides hurt! We should get Tsukasa-chan drunk more often," Konata moaned, when she was able to speak again.

"No, we shouldn't!" Kagami said.

"By the way, where's Matsuri?" someone asked.

"And where's Kuroi-san?" Yui added, noticing she was missing.

Miki cleared her throat. "They, uh, I suppose, are still upstairs … I mean back in the house."

"What? Didn't anyone tell them we are leaving?" Inori asked.

Miki continued, "I was going to knock on the door but I didn't want to disturb them. From what I heard, they were having a lot of fun –"

"Ewww!" Kagami exclaimed.

"Kagami-chan, maybe I should be upset, not you," her mother commented. "Not that I am. I'm getting used to this already."

"It's just … yech, I didn't want to imagine that!"

"Kagamin, why not? Doesn't it make you excited?" Konata piped.

"Maybe … maybe – what am I saying? … we are talking about my sister … and my teacher!"

"Hey, hey! So many ladies in here," a deep voice said. They were startled a bit, because the bouncer was a gigantic foreigner who wore armor and a helmet. "Are you in the same group? Come on in. Welcome to the Dungeon!"

Excitedly, the girls rushed in.

"Hey, there's a dance floor! Come on, you two!" Misao yelled, and dragged Tsukasa and Ayano with her.

"Mi-Misa-chan, I can't dance –" Tsukasa tried to protest.

"Nonsense! We did the cheerleading routine, didn't we?"

The others looked around, not quite knowing what to do first.

"Uh, how did you two get in anyway? You are underage," Inori noted. She was looking at Patricia and Hiyori – the latter was still in Patricia's leash, which was already attracting attention.

"Ssh! Hiiragi-san, please don't tell anyone," Patricia hissed. "Come on, Hiyori. I think I saw a few cosplayers in that direction after all."

Inori shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, I don't really care. Maybe this place has some decent men. You coming, Miyuki?"

"S-sure," Miyuki said. Inori grabbed Miyuki's hand and dragged her further.

"Patty-chan, this is a bit embarrassing. People are looking at us," Hiyori whispered.

"Of course they are looking at us! Because we are hot! You are hot!" Patricia announced.

"Patty-chan, please …" Hiyori muttered, as Patricia lead her away.

"Kagami, do you want to have a drink?" Konata asked.

"No, thanks. I know my limit," Kagami said.

Konata grinned and leaned on Kagami's arm. "Oh, you mean, two Long Island Iced Teas?"

"Kagami, when did you have those?" Miki asked.

"I didn't! Or I did, but it was an accident. I … I'll tell you about it later, mom."

As they moved further in, Konata pointed at the dance floor, and shouted, "Hey, Akira Kogami is there! She released a new single … but I didn't buy it. Oh, I wish I had bought it and taken it with me, I could get an autograph now!"

"That's a bit far-fetched, Konata," Kagami commented. Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"What? What's wrong, Kagamin?"

"That fat guy she's dancing with … no, I mean, yelling at …" Kagami gasped.

Indeed, Akira had pushed the pudgy boy away. Akira's face was red as she yelled something at the boy.

"What? Is he a celebrity too?"

"No, he's –"

Before Kagami could explain anything, there was a commotion, as another man rushed into the dance floor, and punched the pudgy boy into the face.

The crowd around them gasped in surprise and moved as Kenta fell down like a log.

"What – that's Shiraishi!" Kagami gasped.

"Who?" Miki asked.

"Akira's manager," Konata noted. "Why did he punch that guy? Is he jealous or something?"

"I think that fat boy was groping Akira or something…" Kagami muttered. She had recognized the fat boy. It was the same idiot that had asked her for the doll during the school trip. "If someone deserves to be punched, it's him," she added.

Another man, an older one, with short blue hair, came into view and grabbed Minoru, stopping him from doing any more harm.

Konata's jaw fell open. "Dad! That's dad?"

"Izumi-san, Kagami, come with me. We don't know those people, okay?" Miki said, and ushered Kagami and Konata away.

The bouncer seemingly grappled all the four men at the same time and dragged them towards the exit. Akira, her face bright red, followed the men as they were thrown out.

"Don't tell Yukari-san about this, okay? We don't want to ruin this party," Miki said. Kagami and Konata nodded. All the others were at the other side of the club and had not seen the commotion. In fact, there was another commotion at that side. Patricia and Hiyori were a sensation, most likely because of the leash and Hiyori's outfit. People were taking pictures.

It took them a while to find Yukari. She was being surrounded by several young men. As she saw Miki and the others, she yelled, "Help! All these young men want to dance with me! What should I do?" Not that she looked particularly distressed. She was grinning madly and giggling.

"Dance with them?" Konata suggested.

"I'm jealous. Only six men have asked me to dance so far," Miki complained. She took the hand of one of said men and moved into the dance floor with him, leaving Kagami and Konata standing together.

"Nobody's asked me at all … not that I care," Kagami said.

"Kagamin, would you dance with me?" Konata asked, pulling Kagami closer to her.

"I would, but I can't dance," Kagami muttered. Konata smiled as she noticed that for once Kagami didn't move away despite them being in a public place.

"It's easy! I'll teach you! … hey, didn't we dance at the part-time job?"

"We were dancing minuet in French maid outfits, I don't think that's appropriate here."

"I could ask them if they have any minuets available!"

"Don't. That would be too weird. I'm happy to … uh …" Kagami lowered her voice. "… just to be here with you …"

Konata grinned, squeezed her hand and leaned closer to her.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"I've never been more embarrassed in my life!" Akira screamed. "I hate you all! I'm going home!"

Being discreet, Minoru didn't mention the numerous other occasions where Akira had been embarrassed, usually by her own fault. Akira started walking away from the dazzled men. She was limping a bit and wobbling slightly. Her mascara had drawn black stripes on her pale cheeks and her pantyhose had ladders.

Minoru rushed to Akira's side, and said quietly, "Akira-sama, I'll see you off. So that you get home safely."

"Why? Are you a dog? You always follow me around," Akira muttered. "Why would you care about m – I mean, I don't want to see your stupid face any more!"

"I feel I'm responsible for you, as your manager –"

"Responsible! Was it responsible to suddenly punch that fat idiot with no reason! Not that I wasn't about to punch that jerk myself –" Akira's jaw twitched and she hurried her pace, not wanting to show that she was about to cry.

"I thought you liked him? Before he groped you?"

"No way! He's smelly, ugly and awkward. He can't dance and he stepped on my toes! It really hurt! See, I'm still limping!"

In the past, Minoru had tried to offer his arm to support Akira, but each time the girl had drawn away like he was poisonous. So, this time, he didn't even make a gesture, just walked beside Akira.

Akira felt a sting in her heart, as she realized Minoru wasn't reacting. She glared at the boy. Or, a man. He wasn't just a high school boy any more.

Suddenly, she stopped. "What did you just say?"

"I thought you liked –"

"No, you said he groped me. He didn't! He crushed my toes with his big, fat clumsy feet and that's why I was yelling at him!"

"Oh, I thought – but, in that case –" Minoru stuttered.

"Never mind! I don't care! I just want to forget him and this whole night forever! And why the hell are we walking? My place is, like, ten blocks away!" Akira muttered. She started to walk again.

"Akira-sama, I don't have enough money for a cab –"

"Shut your mouth. We will just walk, then. I will walk. I _want_ to walk!" Akira interrupted. She again picked up the pace. In fact, she started running. Minoru ran after her. Since Akira was wearing high heels, it wasn't hard to keep up.

They came upon a small bridge. Akira stopped, leaned onto the railing and gasped for air.

"What's wrong with you?" Minoru whispered, but kept his voice so low that Akira couldn't hear him. She would explode if he asked her such questions.

Akira froze. She had, in fact, heard the question. "_I_ am ... wrong. It's all my fault. I ruin everything…" she muttered.

Minoru wanted to agree with all his heart, but instead, he said, "Nonsense. You are doing great. Your record is coming out next month, you got plenty of gigs, you got the national TV appearance next week –"

Akira raised her head and glared fiercely at Minoru. _"What did I say now?"_ he thought.

"Yeah, great. I'm doing so freaking fine," Akira said, her voice almost breaking. "You have no idea how I feel, you dumb-ass! I – I –" Akira just couldn't say it. No, she wasn't going to show any more weakness. Not to _him_.

She took a deep breath, straightened up, and said, "Never mind. I'm fine. Let's go!"

"Sure, Akira-sama," Minoru said, and they started walking again.

Minoru walked all the way to Akira's apartment.

Akira stopped at the door with her key in hand, turned around, looked at Minoru, and opened her mouth … but nothing came out.

"Akira-sama?" Minoru asked.

"I – uh – bye. See you later!" Akira exclaimed, opened the door and ran inside.

Minoru had not been expecting anything, so he just smiled and started his own, long, walk home.

In her bathroom, Akira was shocked to see how she looked like. _"Shit! I'm a total mess! And he saw me like this!"_

She took a bath, brushed her teeth, and went to bed, placing her teddy bear beside her, because she couldn't sleep without it. And, as usual, she imagined being just a normal high school girl again. Not famous. Just a normal girl, doing normal things, dreaming about a boyfriend. Not actually having one, yet. She dreamed she was far too young to have one. She just wanted to admire her heart-throb from afar, maybe write him an anonymous love letter and leave it into his shoe-locker, …

* * *

Thanks to Kyle Justin for asking about Kagami's sexy lingerie! (#-_o#)… I had forgotten to explain what she bought at that shop. It happened long ago, in the Truth or Dare! story. At that time Konata was stalking Kagami when she thought she had a boyfriend.

Barley tea, _mugicha (__麦茶)_, tastes like burnt popcorn. I like it, though.

"A bear with a sore head" is "a bear that has been shot in the bum" in Finnish. :)

_If you didn't know, Absolute Territory_ (絶対領域, _zettai ryōiki_ in Japanese) describes the area of uncovered thigh between the skirt and the stockings.

The Finnish bridal sauna traditions are all real. I didn't include quite _everything_ that Finnish bridal sauna _can_ have. Such as the bride holding a rye bread under each armpit. (No, I'm not kidding…)

I made up (an entirely fictional!) song for Akira, because Misoji Misaki is apparently the only single she has "released". I don't have idea whether it made the charts in Japan, though. I do know one of Kagami's songs was in top ten or something! Anyway, _"17 Sai No Wakai" _means – that is, if I got it right – "17 years young". Oh, and she's not singing about Kagami, but a mirror. Note that my Japanese comes from google translate, so it might be all wrong.

"Womb" is an actual nightclub name in Japan, the others I made up.

Age of consent in Finland is 16 years. In Japan, it is – believe or not, _13 years, _according to their penal code. So, in theory, Akira was legal from the time they started in Lucky Channel. And no, I won't be writing about 13- to 15-year old Akira! Also, in practice, the age of consent in Japan is 18 years. Prefecture ordinances, you see.

If you wondered why Kō, Sakuraba-sensei, and Amahara-sensei didn't appear, remember that they were invited to the wedding, not to hen night.

No worry, Kenta is gone and won't be seen again. (Unless people request his pudgy appearance…)


	20. Unholy Matrimony

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 20: Unholy Matrimony**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

This chapter requires a revision. For example, the wedding should have lasted two days: first evening they would just have had the ceremony. The relatives from countryside would have stayed a night, and next day would have been the wedding reception and party. That would clear up a few things. But, I'd rather finish the entire story first and work on this later. Maybe.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Good morning, Kagamin!" someone apparently screamed at the top of her lungs – never mind if it was a melodious, cheerful, and bright voice. Someone was also hammering her head with a workshop hammer, and a fish had died and rotted inside her mouth.

Slowly, she opened her eyelids slightly and her eyes were immediately burned into crisp in the light. The Sun wasn't even getting into her eyes directly but through the curtains.

The next thing she saw was Konata's grinning face. "I thought I would fix you a great breakfast but then I thought rice porridge would be the only thing you could eat this morning … noon, actually."

For some reason, every sound felt strangely loud today and made Kagami's head pound even more. Then, she noticed bruises on Konata's neck. And her persistent grin and shining eyes.

"Hickeys? Oh no …" Kagami whispered, and blinked her bloodshot eyes. She started to remember last night.

"I never thought you would be so wild in bed, Kagamin! You wore even me out! And – you violated my -"

Kagami groaned aloud, not wanting to hear what exact part of Konata's anatomy she had violated. She remembered that nevertheless.

"You know, I was a virgin in _there! _And it kind of hurt … at first."

Kagami groaned again.

"But it was great, really! Oh, and don't worry. You washed your hands afterwards!"

At this point, Kagami was able to cover her aching eyes with her hands.

"Too bad I didn't set up the camera this time. It would have made a great educational video for Yu-chan and –"

Kagami pushed her palm on Konata's mouth. "Stop! Stop it already … t-those … hickeys … they will fade before the wedding? Will they?"

"Sure they will …" Konata mumbled into Kagami's palm, and she drew her hand back. "I hope they will," Konata added. "I think."

Kagami covered her eyes again. "Konata … wear a scarf to the lectures, okay? I don't want Kusakabe to see them … or anyone …"

"But these are super erotic! Like, Hiyori-chan said she will have to see the doctor about her nosebleeds – oops."

"What?" Kagami asked, and peeked through her fingers. "Hiyori – said – she – … Konata!"

"I didn't think you minded … so I took some pictures and sent them to Hiyori … and … umm …"

"And?" Kagami groaned. "What else?"

Konata gulped. "I, uh, kind of, put them slightly into the internet … on the cosplay café fan pages! Nowhere else … ahem … and it's not like my face is showing …"

"Konata, when you put something in the Internet, it will always be there…" Kagami groaned. "I will never drink again!" she swore, and buried her head under the pillow.

"What, why? But it was sooo great! Please, drink again someday. Just _for my sake_?" Konata moaned, saying the last three words in English, and winked an eye.

The word 'sake' was the last straw. Kagami jumped up, sending the pillow flying, and rushed into the toilet.

"Yech," Konata said. "Yo, Kagamin, I'd better tell you that while I'm open minded that is something I don't enjoy!"

There was no answer, except for some unpleasant noises. Konata sighed and went after Kagami to help her.

Afterwards, after Konata had succeeded to force some rice porridge and two glasses of cold water down Kagami's throat, she was lying on the futon with a wet towel on her forehead.

"Feeling any better?"

"A bit … thanks …" Kagami whispered. "You know, last night … I almost feel sorry for your father."

Konata laughed. "It was probably the happiest day of his life."

"Why …"

"He's only got five more left before he's married."

Kagami tried not to laugh, because she felt like her head would explode.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

It was an afternoon someday the same week. Konata insisted that Kagami should accompany her, Tsukasa, and Miyuki to the confectionery.

"Umm, Kona-chan … what are those?" Tsukasa asked, and pointed at Konata's neck. The hickeys had not quite faded yet.

"What, hasn't Kusakabe given you any of these yet?" Konata asked, looking surprised.

"Konata, please … not here!" Kagami hissed. One of the confectioners was there. Her expression didn't change, but a faint blush spread onto her cheeks.

Tsukasa opened her mouth again, but Kagami's glare made her stop asking about it for now.

"So why did you drag me in here?" Kagami muttered to Konata.

Kagami pretended to be indifferent, but in truth her mouth watered at the sight of all the cakes, buns, cookies and whatnot inside the shop.

"You are the expert on cakes!" Konata claimed.

"No, I am not! Tsukasa is."

"Oh, I meant you are the expert on _tasting and eating _the cakes –"

"Damn it, Konata … you know I have lost weight!"

"Izumi-san, did you bring the figurines?" Miyuki asked, not quite paying attention, because Kagami and Konata were always bickering and she was completely used to it. She would have been worried if they didn't.

"Yes!" Konata yelled, and rummaged through her bag.

"I forgot to ask you to show them to me first. I hope they aren't anything embarrass…ING!" Kagami's sentence ended in a small scream, because the first box Konata lifted from her bag was a rather explicit female figure. The kind of what male otaku would buy.

"No way! Is that supposed to be your new mother? We can't put that thing on a cake!" Kagami groaned.

"Oh, this isn't one of them. I bought this on the way. While we stopped at the kiosk and you were buying a diet soda, there was a boutique next door," Konata explained. "This one is from –"

"No, I don't want to know especially if it's _hentai_! How did you manage to buy such a thing … never mind, just put it away!"

"Ah, here they are!" Konata said, and showed them two small figures. "Ataru from Urusei Yatsura, in tux … and Yui from K-On!"

There was a long silence as everybody stared at Konata.

"I also got C-ko from Project A-ko if you think it fits her better?" Konata asked, looking puzzled because the others didn't seem to respond. "I couldn't find a figure of Minoru from Toradora!, and –"

"Konata!" Kagami groaned. "What is the purpose of those figures? … wait, you chose characters that are like them … as, in character?"

"Who are these characters?" Miyuki asked.

Konata looked at her with disbelief – how could someone not know, at least the male character?

"Ataru is … uh …" Kagami couldn't quite find the words. "He's a character in Urusei – I mean, one silly manga … and he is … uh, similar to Konata's dad. And I presume Yui, the female character, is a bit like Yukari-san. Except, the figure is wearing a high school uniform and carrying a guitar …"

"It was much harder to find a character for her!" Konata complained.

Kagami sighed. "I guess it doesn't matter, since nobody will understand anyway."

"Kagami, you didn't read K-On! manga?"

"No, I didn't read that and the hundred other manga you have been pushing to me!"

Konata was bouncing with excitement. "Good! Because the anime is already running and I want you to see it. It's by the same guys who made Haruhi anime! Though I'm afraid you will need industrial strength yuri goggles for this moeblob fest."

"I don't even want to _try_ to understand that," Kagami muttered. She was actually a bit relieved for not understanding all of Konata's otaku-speak.

"Miss Takara, we have the samples ready," said the confectioner, who had been listening to their conversation with apparent indifference. Another member of the staff was just bringing in a tray.

"Samples?"

"Yes, Kagamin! They baked some cupcakes which will taste like the finished cake. We can tell whether we want it sweeter, or something!"

Kagami tried not to drool. "Oh. That's … nice …" she muttered, and tried to ignore Konata's annoying giggle.

"Oh, confectioner-san, these are the figures we wanted on the top," Konata said, and handed Ataru and Yui to her.

The confectioner didn't look any less indifferent as she received them. Apparently using anime figurines was nothing new to her.

"You'd better disinfect them," Kagami muttered. "Who knows where they have been."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Patty-chan, Hiyori-chan! Welcome!" Yutaka chirped, after opening the door.

"This house is just as amazing as ever …" Hiyori sighed. It was the Saturday before the big day, and they had came to help with the preparations.

"Hey, wasn't my parents' house any less amazing? It's bigger than this!" Patricia said, and slapped Hiyori's back.

"Well, everything is bigger in the US," Hiyori muttered.

Yutaka, being short even for Japanese, had her eyes on the level of Patricia's chest. _"Indeed, everything from US is bigger …"_ she thought. She flinched when she realized what she was thinking, and blushed a bit. _"No, no! I shouldn't compare her to Minami-chan!"_, but she knew it was too late already.

More embarrassingly, Hiyori seemed to have caught on to what she was thinking. The manga artist pulled out a sketchbook and started scribbling.

"Only ten seconds and you already inspired her!" Patricia commended Yutaka, and patted her head. "If there was a picture for _kawaii_ in the dictionary, you would be it!"

"I'm not cute!" Yutaka protested. "I'm … I'm in fact … a-a rotten girl! I read cousin-chan's doujins, and … and …" she couldn't think of anything else at the moment.

"That just makes you more _moe_!" Patricia claimed.

Yutaka snorted and pursed her lips. Hiyori's eyes widened. She gasped, "Yu-Yu-chan! H-Hold that expression! Oh, my … that's incredible!" and started to draw furiously.

Yutaka groaned, turned around, and ran away, past Minami, who was just coming to greet the guests.

"Why are you teasing her?" Minami growled, glaring at Patricia and Hiyori with narrowed eyes.

"S-scary …" Hiyori gasped. Patricia explained, "Sorry! We didn't try to tease Yu-chan … she's just so adorable …"

Minami's expression got only slightly softer. "Yes, she is … but don't treat her like a child …" she said quietly.

"Yes, Iwasaki-san! We understand, Iwasaki-san!" the otaku pair agreed.

"Very well. You two can start by cleaning the toilets, the bathroom, the baths, and the sauna. From top to bottom," Minami said. "The equipment is in that closet."

Their jaws fell open. After Minami had gone, they looked at each other. "Did she somehow arrange this on purpose?" Hiyori said quietly. "Nah … we just misunderstand Minami-chan … or so Yu-chan says," Patricia sighed.

Hiyori sighed even deeper and put her sketchbook away. "I guess we'd better get on with it," she said, and opened the closet.

"Woah, an apron!" Patricia noted. "Want me to wear _hadaka_ apron?"

"No, no! … cleaning up nosebleeds is hard …" Hiyori gasped.

"In that case …" Patricia said, turned to Hiyori, and approached her with a big grin on her face.

Hiyori knew that look and gulped. "P-Patty-chan …"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Two hours later, they were done with everything but the sauna.

Again, Hiyori remembered what she was wearing when Patricia stared at her. Or rather, what she was not wearing. Since Patricia couldn't do it, she had forced Hiyori to. Meaning, to wear only an apron – nothing else.

"Patty-chan, may I please put on some more clothes, before –"

Just as she said "before", both Yutaka and Minami entered the bathroom.

"How are you doing here, guys?" Yutaka asked.

The, both of them saw Hiyori, and blushed.

"Hiyori-chan!" Yutaka gasped. "Why are you wearing … that … like that …?"

"I'm sorry! Patty-chan forced me to do it!" Hiyori explained.

Yutaka couldn't help looking at Minami, whose shoulders slumped, and she turned and walked out.

"Minami-chan, please wait! I'm sure you will grow up, eventually –" Yutaka rushed after her tall friend.

Hiyori looked at her own chest. "What? I didn't think these were so big that they would upset Minami-chan…"

Patricia looked at Hiyori in a way that made her fluster. "Hey, I think you actually have grown a bit! Probably thanks all that delicious greasy food we ate back in good ol' US! … which reminds me, in there, there's surgery available for people like Minami," Patricia noted.

Hiyori turned pale. "No, no! I don't want to imagine that now! … oh no, and now I got an idea for a doujin …"

She crouched down onto the floor, pulled her hair and groaned.

"Hiyori-chan, do you have any idea how a sauna should be cleaned?" Patricia asked, looking at the oven and the wooden benches.

"Sauna! … in the sauna!" Hiyori groaned.

"… maybe I should ask Miyuki-san. I think she's here helping with the preparations," Patricia said.

"Miyuki-san in the sauna with Minami-chan! … after the operation … comparing their …!" Hiyori groaned. "Where's my sketchbook?"

"… right," Patricia said, and left the bathroom to look for Miyuki.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Use this mild cleaning agent and a scrubbing brush for the benches, and then rinse them. The oven and the stones don't need cleaning," Miyuki explained. "Um … Martin-san, what's wrong with them?" she added, and gestured at the couch.

Hiyori, still wearing only an apron, was sitting on the living room couch and scribbling furiously. She had stuffed tissues into her nostrils.

Minami was lying face down on the same couch, her face buried into a pillow. Yutaka was kneeling beside her and petting her head.

"Hyper-inspirationitis, and DFC," Patricia said nonchalantly in English, leaving even the genius Miyuki baffled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Finally it was the day for the big event.

One by one, the guests and bridesmaids kept arriving, the latter attracting a lot of attention.

"Why are we dressed like this anyway?" Kagami groaned. "We should have donned our _miko_ dresses."

"You can't blame me! It was Miyuki's idea!" Konata protested.

"I know … but how did it become reality?"

"Tsukasa drew that dress … then dad insisted we do it … and Yukari-san didn't mind. But don't worry, Kagamin. Your thighs are not fat," Konata reassured her.

"Thanks, that didn't help," Kagami hissed. Her blush only got one degree deeper when reminded that her thighs could indeed be seen.

"Matsuri and … who's that?" Tsukasa gasped. The others around turned to look.

Matsuri was wearing her bridesmaid's dress as usual, but she was leaning onto the arm of a very handsome man in black tie and tuxedo. Who had very long, blonde hair in a ponytail.

"When did _she_ get herself a man?" Inori hissed.

"Yo, sensei!" Konata yelled, and waved her hand.

The others' jaws dropped. Someone gasped, "What, it is Kuroi-sensei? She's … so handsome!"

"Kagami, now I'm having second thoughts," Konata whispered.

Kagami grabbed Konata's shoulder and growled, "What?"

"I mean, maybe I should have dressed you like that …"

"Oh."

Kagami shivered as she remembered the day she had worn the boy's uniform to school.

"Yo, everyone! I'm here!" Kuroi-sensei announced.

"Sensei, that's great!"

"I borrowed the leash and collar from Martin-san, but she refused to wear it," Kuroi-sensei said, pointing her finger at Matsuri.

Matsuri scowled fiercely at her date. "I'm not your dog."

"Yeah, you're more like a cat …" Kuroi-sensei said, and petted Matsuri's head.

"Yeah, she's lazy and has a foul breath," Inori muttered.

"Oh, jealous, aren't you?" Matsuri hissed. "I at least _have_ someone, but you –".

"It's the quality, not the quantity," Inori growled.

"Hey!" Kuroi-sensei yelled.

Miki Hiiragi had sneaked up to them. "Girls, girls. I think you are all jealous today. Anyway, no fighting, ok?"

"Yes, mom …" the sisters sighed.

"Dad is here," Konata noted.

Sōjirō was wearing the full traditional wedding attire: white kimono robe, kimono jacket, and hakama pants. He grabbed Konata's hand and led her a bit away from the others.

"Konata. Take this, quickly! It's my best digicam. You have to take as many pictures of all the girls … bridesmaids … all women … as possible," Sōjirō whispered, handing a rather bulky camera to Konata.

Konata sighed. "Okay … I want the copies too."

Sōjirō's eyes brightened. He looked around just to be sure that his wife-to-be wasn't around, and continued, "Since they won't be suspicious of you, could you try to take shots of their –"

"I'm not that sure that they aren't … and no!" Konata hissed. "I will not take upskirt, cleavage, panty shots, or any pictures of that kind! Shame on you, dad!"

"Not even as a little wedding present for daddy?"

"No! I already gave you a present," Konata said. She had indeed given him a large packet of decent doujins, in private.

Again, Konata knew her father. What disturbed her was that she kind wanted to take such shots herself.

"Absolute territory?"

"No … except for what you can see in _normal_ pictures."

Sōjirō sighed. "Ah well. I guess normal pictures are better than nothing…"

Minami and Yutaka had been near enough to hear their conversation. Minami's cheeks had turned beet red, and Yutaka was blushing as well.

A thought was pounding in Minami's head. It wasn't something she usually thought of, yet, somehow, she couldn't shake it off. It burned in her mind, until she finally gathered her courage, pulled Yutaka aside, and whispered into her ear, "Uh, I-I have to know … wh-what kind of panties are you wearing?"

Yutaka looked up to Minami's eyes, leaned a bit closer, and whispered, _"None…"_

The other bridesmaids took a curious look at them, for it was quite rare to see Yutaka supporting Minami and not the other way around.

"H-help! Does anyone have any tissues? Minami-chan has a nosebleed!" Yutaka yelled.

While Yutaka led Minami inside, a large black car pulled to the side of the road and several elder people dressed in kimonos emerged. They wore oddly stony-faced expressions.

"Who are those?" Konata asked in a bright voice.

"Izumi-san, these are mine and my mother's relatives from the country," Miyuki said. She lowered her voice and added, "They are … uh, very conservative. I'm afraid they don't fully approve this wedding …"

As the conservative relatives saw the bridesmaids, their expressions turned even more stony-faced, if possible. They did exchange the pleasantries such as bows, but obviously tried to avoid looking at the girls' dresses.

Despite the warm sunlight, Kagami shivered. Quickly, she glanced at Konata. At least the marks on her neck had almost completely faded by now.

When Miyuki had led her relatives inside, everyone seemed to sigh in relief.

"They haven't seen anything yet," Konata noted.

Kagami's eyes widened. "D-do they have any idea about us … and most of the others …?"

Konata shrugged her shoulders. "Probably not."

"Konata, let's keep it that way, if at all possible."

Kagami shivered again. With people like Misao and Patricia and Hiyori around, and the compulsory drinking of sake … it seemed improbable.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Everyone had gathered into the backyard, where Tadao Hiiragi was already waiting, in his Shinto priest outfit. He looked and felt out of place because this was not quite a Shinto shrine, although they had set up a temporary structure. And he wasn't comfortable with several young girls dressed in miniskirts, revealing far too much flesh. And four of them were his daughters. _"How can I purify people dressed like that?"_

The crowd murmured and gasped as the bride came out of the back door. She was dressed in white, although it was a Western dress and not the traditional wedding kimono. The dress was not quite as skimpy as the bridesmaids' ones, but it did show far too much cleavage for any respectable Shinto ritual.

Sōjirō's jaw fell open, for he had not seen the dress beforehand. Frantically, he gestured to Konata, and seemed much relieved as Konata already had the camera out and was snapping pictures.

After everyone had settled down, Tadao sighed, rinsed his mouth with water, took out the purification scroll and recited it at the hopefully-sacred-enough table. Since he had no assistance, he himself used the purification wand and sprinkled the warm salt water – trying not to stare. Effigies of both families' ancestors had been brought. A large picture of Sōjirō's late wife seemed to stare directly at him with her emerald eyes, as Tadao informed the ancestors about the marriage and asked for their lasting favors.

Sōjirō gulped as he too realized that Kanata's picture was staring at him on the table. _"Uh, I hope she approves…"_

Tadao turned around and said, "The couple should now recite their oaths."

"You first, dear," Yukari requested, but it was obviously a command.

"I, Sōjirō Izumi, swear that I will not ogle other women when you are present –"

"Sōjirō!" Yukari groaned. The bride's relatives glared at them in brooding silence.

"Uh, I meant, I will not ogle other women … at all! And I will become reliable … even more reliable! Since we're going to raise that kid," Sōjirō stuttered, and wiped his forehead.

"Go on …" Yukari hissed.

"I will only show our kid good quality manga and anime! I won't raise her … or him … into an _otaku_."

"And?" Yukari said.

"… and I will be a faithful and an obedient husband," Sōjirō concluded.

"Fine. And I, Yukari soon-to-be-Izumi, swear to be a faithful and obedient wife … and you can keep taking photographs –" at this point, Yukari glanced at Konata, who quickly tried to hide the camera behind her back "– as long as I can see any of them. Okay?"

"Yes!" Sōjirō yelled, and then turned pale, as he knew he would have to delete quite a few folders on his computer soon.

Tadao guessed that their oaths, as strange as they had sounded, were over, and motioned at Konata and Miyuki. The girls brought forth a tray of sake cups and bottles. The new couple took the traditional drinks first, and then the daughters moved aside and began to serve the guests.

"Best man?" Sōjirō asked, looking around. Minoru had been standing apart from the others, since he was not part of the family. Hearing his cue, he barged through the quests, put his hand into his pocket … and failed to find what he was looking for. "The ring … now where did I put it?" he muttered. "The ring, the ring …"

While the ring remained unseen, they heard one – a ring of the doorbell, that is, but at the moment it would have been rude to leave.

Cold sweat on his brow, Minoru put down the little box he had been carrying, and started to frantically go through all his pockets.

Awkward seconds passed. It was as if everyone was holding their breath.

The sound of the doorbell could be heard again. Strangely, the doorbell sounded angry and impatient, if such a thing was possible. Minoru realized who was at the door, and that didn't make his desperate search any easier.

"Hey, Sebastian …" Konata whispered. "What's in that little box you put down onto the table?"

Minoru looked at Konata, then at the box. "Oh. That's the ring…!"

There was a collective sigh.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The rest of the guests, not of the family, were loitering in the living room as Minoru rushed through. "Why didn't anyone open the door!" he groaned. The doorbell was still going crazy.

Kuroi-sensei opened her eyes slightly and sipped her beer. "It's not our house…"

Kō didn't even notice Minoru, because she was busy with a Pl*ystation game.

When Minoru finally reached the front door, he became hesitant to open it. But he knew it had to be done. Bracing himself, he pulled the door open and found Akira Kogami leaning onto the doorbell.

Despite his expectations, Akira didn't look angry. She looked just utterly disappointed and oddly subdued. Without saying a word, she marched in, kicked her shoes off – not even asking Minoru to help her – and slumped onto the living room couch.

Minoru followed her. He decided not to say anything, not sure whether it was better to be shouted at than not to be talked to.

Lazily, Kuroi-sensei opened an eye again, and gestured at the beer cans. Akira snatched one, snapped it open, and took a large sip. "I guess I'm not a celebrity anymore," she muttered. "Nobody was even waiting for me. Nobody wants my autograph. Heck, nobody even recognized me! On the bus! I had to come by bus!"

Kō had finished her game and looked up. "Oh, wow! It's Akira Kogami-sama!" she yelled, and grabbed Hiyori's sketchbook and a pencil. "Akira-sama, may I have your autograph! I'm a huge fan of yours!"

Akira just glared at her. "Too late," she growled.

"Oh," Kō said. She sat down beside Akira. "I guess I'll have just a beer, then."

Minoru noticed that Akira was carrying an envelope. "Akira-sama, did you bring a gift to them?" he said. Akira glared at him, and he regretted saying anything.

"How nice of you," Kō said, and smiled at her. "They aren't even your relatives."

"I guess …" Akira muttered, and blushed slightly. "…I thought I am here as a guest …"

There was a noise as the others started to return from the back yard.

"Akira-sama!" Konata yelled from the doorway. "Everybody, Akira-sama is here! Could you sign your latest CD! And 'Akira's Ambition' collection! I have both right here!"

"Konata, you're just going to sell those," Kagami muttered.

"What!" Konata gasped. "No way! I would never sell such precious things! I will … I will get them framed! And hung them on the wall!"

"You sold a box full of autographed doujins last week!"

"But, but … they were just doujins! This is different! Honest!"

"Hey!" Akira yelled. Kagami and Konata turned to look at her. "I won't mind! … i-if you can sell my autographs at a price … please do."

Akira's jaw twitched. "It would make me happy …"

Tears were streaming down Konata's cheeks. "Oh no! In that case I should have brought an entire box! Kagami, can I go to the warehouse, just quickly, and grab –"

"No!"

"But Kagamin –"

"No!"

"I could sell those for –"

"No!"

"Tenderloin? Matsutake mushrooms? Vacation in Okinawa?" Konata said, and batted her eyelids at Kagami.

"Uhh …" Kagami looked at Akira.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll sign it all. Go on," Akira sighed.

Konata bolted off, before Akira had time to regret her promise.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The atmosphere of the party had loosened a bit after an hour or so. Konata had brought a huge pile of manga and Akira was obediently signing them.

Even the relatives with the stiff upper lip had relaxed after drinking some sake, and now there were groups of guests chatting happily around the house.

Kagami was hanging about, flexing her legs, as she saw Konata standing in hallway alone with a tanned girl with blonde hair. They were chatting about something. _"Is that the Kō Yasaka she thought she knew?"_

Kagami moved closer. They didn't notice her as she overheard what Konata was saying.

"We used to meet quite often back then, didn't we? We spent so much time together," Konata said.

"Yeah, almost every day … those were the times," Kō said, and grinned.

"Remember when I threw you onto the floor and jumped onto you!" Konata exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah … now that was a surprise!" Kō said, rubbing the back of her head. "… and then you started bouncing up and down. That was, uh, kinky. I felt, like, dominated. Or something."

"Did you enjoy it?" Konata said, and winked an eye.

"Sure …" Kō said, and laughed.

Kagami had heard enough. She turned around and marched outside, to the balcony.

Meanwhile, Kō added, "But seriously, Izumi-senpai, I'm not Hiyori. I don't really enjoy such things … besides, I kept losing almost every time. I don't like losing! And I spent far too many coins on that game."

"Tell me about it," Konata said. "Anyway, I'm going to check on Kagami. See ya!"

"Okay. But come to the arcade again someday! You are a legend over there."

"We'll see."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

For about the tenth time, Akira looked up from the manga albums and glared at the pair. Neither paid any attention to her.

For fifteen minutes, Minoru had been standing in the corner, chatting with the "pink-haired girl with big boobs", Miyuki, that is. Akira knew that she had been his classmate, but even then they should not be chatting for that long.

"_Damn it, Shiraishi! Her eyes are thirty centimeters higher than that!"_ she yelled in her mind.

Her signatures had become bigger, messier, and angrier album by album, as her temper rose. She couldn't help comparing herself to Miyuki. The older girl was smarter, better-looking, and, most importantly, much bigger than her around the chest region.

She quickly signed the final ones, flexed her aching hand, and marched towards Minoru and Miyuki.

Both of them turned to look, and all of a sudden Akira didn't know what to say. She knew she had no right to get jealous, no right to get angry, but that was what she was feeling.

"Crap!" she exclaimed, turned around, and walked towards the back yard.

Everyone went silent and stared at them.

"What's up with Akira-sama?" Konata asked.

At first, Minoru didn't comprehend that the question was directed at him. "Who … me? I have no idea!"

"Sebastian, you should go after her," Konata suggested.

"Why? She doesn't want me around."

"She's mad about you," Konata noted.

Everyone was staring at Minoru.

"No, that's impossible!"

They were still staring at him.

"No way!" Minoru protested.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Oh, so here you were! What's up?" Konata said, as she saw Kagami's back. She was standing on the balcony, leaning onto the railing and staring into space.

Kagami turned around and spread her arms. She looked unusually serious.

Konata stopped on her tracks and raised her eyebrows. "Uh … what?"

"Come here," Kagami said quietly. As Konata complied, she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, tilted her head and gave her a very long and passionate kiss.

"K-Kagamin … this is unusual," Konata gasped, when Kagami finally released her lips.

"I love you," Kagami said softly.

"I-I love you too … more than anime and manga!" Konata confirmed.

"Gee, thanks," Kagami said, and sneered a bit. "Anyway, I love you and I trust you, and so I'm not worried. But you could have told me."

"Umm … what about?" Konata asked, looking puzzled.

"That Yasaka girl. I overheard your conversation. You two being together all the time. And once you … jumped on her, bounced on top of her in a kinky way, and so on," Kagami said, looking questioningly at Konata.

"Ah, that!" Konata said, and winked an eye. "That was fun! Then I grabbed her by the hair and threw her around."

Kagami's eyes widened. "G-grabbed …", she cleared her throat and asked, "When did this happen?"

"Oh, I don't remember. Around last year … at spring. Or was it at autumn?" Konata said, scratching her head.

"You should remember! It makes a big difference if it was at autumn!" Kagami groaned.

By now, Konata looked really confused. "How could I remember something like that?"

"Konata! I'm seriously worried about you if you can't remember that!" Kagami yelled. "It was before we got together, at least. Was it?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"You THINK so!" Kagami shouted.

"Yeah, you are right. I should remember this. After all, it was one of my best ones."

"One – of – your – best – ones?" Kagami said. She had turned pale.

"Yeah! It was great! At that time there was a crowd around us at the end and they were cheering and applauding."

Kagami pulled her hands off of Konata and staggered backwards.

"Crowd … cheering at you two …?" she gasped. "Exactly what kind of life you've been living? You never told me anything about all this!"

Konata giggled. "Kagami, you are so weird. It's not, like, a big deal. Happens to me all the time."

Kagami just stared at her with her mouth open.

"But I haven't been going there lately," Konata said. "The arcade is not that close to our new place, and I got so much other things to do these days. Besides, we have a console – I mean, three consoles, at home, and the computer …"

"You were talking about a game at the arcade …" Kagami said. Then, she doubled over in howling laughter.

Konata looked even more puzzled. "Sure. What else …" she said, then her jaw fell open. Finally, she understood what it might have sounded like. For a moment, Konata actually blushed in embarrassment, but eventually she just had to join in with Kagami's laughter.

There was a sound of someone clearing her throat. Both of them stopped laughing and turned around. A tiny, wrinkled old woman of great age – apparent from the completely gray color of her hair – was standing on one the side of the balcony. They realized that she had been there all the time. A Japanese _obaasan, _a frightening creature by itself, and this was the oldest of Yukari's relatives, the one that Miyuki had referred to as the "great-grandmother"!

"Uh, we – I –" Kagami gasped, but there really wasn't anything she could say.

The old woman scampered closer to the frozen pair of girls and stared at them with narrowed eyes.

A strange, expectorating sound came out of the old woman's mouth. She was cackling in laughter.

"So, you are Izumi-san's daughter," she croaked at Konata. "And you are her … little friend," she noted, turning to Kagami.

Both of the girls had turned pale. "H-Hiiragi … Kagami …" Kagami stuttered. "P-pleased to …"

Suddenly, the great-grandmothers expression changed and they realized she was grinning at them. "Don't you worry, kids! It's not like I haven't seen and heard all that before. For example, hmm … one of Yukari-chan's cousins fancied farm animals!" she exclaimed, and cackled again.

Konata's and Kagami's eyed widened. They weren't sure whether hearing that was a relief.

The great-grandmother returned back inside, still cackling to herself.

"Scary …" Kagami sighed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Hello! Listen, everyone! Would all the unmarried girls come here!" Yukari yelled. "Miyuki-chan told me that I have to throw these flowers!"

Just in time, Minoru and Akira came back as well. Those who knew about them realized that nothing had obviously happened in between them. Akira looked as contemptuous and Minoru as clueless as usual.

"What's going on?" Akira asked.

"Yukari-san is going to throw those flowers away," Tsukasa explained.

"Why does everyone have to see that?"

"Ahem," Miyuki said, "This is a Western tradition. Mom, you must face the other way, throw the bouquet over your head, and all the girls try to catch it. The one who catches it will be the next one to get married!"

"Oh so that's how it was," Yukari noted. Giggling to herself, she turned around.

"Mom, wait until I count to three," Miyuki said.

"Okay, dear. You try catching the bouquet too?" Yukari asked.

"Yes, mom," Miyuki said, and joined the crowd.

"I'm gonna catch it!" Misao declared.

"Who will you marry if you catch it?" Tsukasa asked.

"I would marry Tsukasa-chan and Ayano-chan, of course!" Misao shouted. Yukari's relatives gasped, muttered amongst them, and glared at Misao.

"Misa-chan …" Ayano sighed.

"I'll catch it and marry Kagamin!" Konata shouted.

"I will marry Hiyori!" Patricia announced.

"And I will marry my little Matsuri-chan!" Kuroi-sensei yelled, and burped. "Nanako!" Matsuri groaned.

More gasps and muttering.

"All right, mom! Are you ready?" Miyuki shouted. "One, two, … three!"

* * *

So, who catches the bouquet? What kind of panties _Minami_ was wearing? Is the wedding cake any good? These questions—and many others—will be answered in the next chapter of Dare!

B*t*secks (well, fingers only…three at most, to be exact – what?) and b*s*iality mentioned! (°∀°)

DFC = "Delicious Flat Chest"

Yutaka is a slut :)

Don't take this chapter as an authentic description of Japanese wedding. They never have bridesmaids, for example. But I couldn't change it at this point.

Yep, there is really a manga, "Akira's Ambition" (あきらの王国, _Akira no oukoku_), which is serialized in magazine Comp Ace published by Kadokawa Shoten. That's all I know – I'm not even sure if it is drawn by Kagami Yoshimizu. Maybe.


	21. The Bouquet

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 21: The Bouquet**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

The problem is that I have forgotten most of the story so far. It's too long and I get tired of re-reading it! Ah well, I'm not going to rewrite this chapter, for now. So there are weird things, inconsistencies, and omissions. For the rest of the chapters, I won't have so many characters present at once.

Yep, this chapter, and the one before this, require a revision. For example, the wedding should have lasted two days: first evening they would just have had the ceremony. The relatives from countryside would have stayed a night, and next day would have been the wedding reception and party. That would clear up a few things. But, I'd rather finish the entire story first and work on this later. Maybe.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star. Spoilers to "Adolescence of Utena" are avoided.

* * *

Yukari swung her arm and send the flowers flying through the air, to an unexpected distance. Most of the girls and women were standing too close and had no chance to catch it.

Kagami was standing in the back row, but the bouquet's trajectory was still out of her grasp. She couldn't exactly jump for them, wearing high heels, so it barely slipped through her fingers. Still, Kagami felt she did catch something, and closed her fingers around it.

And, the flowers landed on the lap of Akira Kogami sitting on the edge of the stage. Reflectively, she grabbed the bunch. The crowd went 'ooh', and turned to stare at her.

Minoru, who was standing beside her, looked at her with his mouth open. And Akira happened to look at him. "What!" Akira screamed. "No, no, and no! I would never marry you! I would rather marry a foreigner! A _burakumin_! Or that meathead Kenta! Hell, I would rather marry Sōjirō Izumi than you!"

"I never asked you to marry me!" Minoru yelled.

"How dare you to let me think that you like me, and then betray me like that! You are a traitor! A womanizer!" Akira screamed, before comprehending what Minoru had said.

She snapped her mouth shut, and turned beet red. "… oh … y-you didn't ask … I … uhh …"

No matter how hard Akira tried to, she just couldn't bring herself to apologize. She dropped the bouquet of flowers and ran out of the back door of the house.

As if on cue, everyone turned to look at Minoru.

He looked around, sighed, and walked after Akira.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Kagami had almost forgotten she was still holding something.

She opened her fingers and found out that it was a rosebud.

By a chance, Konata was standing next to her, and exclaimed, "Kagamin! You caught it!"

"No, I didn't … not really …" Kagami protested.

"Yes, yes you did! … but it's tiny. Wonder what that means, then? Miyuki-san, do you know?" Konata asked.

"Sorry, I only know what catching the entire bouquet means," Miyuki said.

"It must be like, when you get 'half-luck' at the temple! So you're going to get … umm … half-married?"

"I'm not getting married! I'm –" Kagami stopped talking as she remembered.

Konata pretended to start crying. "Waah! … how dare you to let me think that you like me, and then betray me like that! You are a traitor! A womanizer!"

"Of course I will marry you! It's just – it isn't possible at the moment. The law, and everything," Kagami explained.

"What?" Tsukasa and Miyuki gasped.

"Oh, we have forgotten to tell you about it in all this excitement. A few weeks ago Kagami did ask me to marry her! And I accepted," Konata said, and raised her left hand, where she was wearing the ring.

"Aww! That's so romantic!" Tsukasa sighed. "Did sis kneel in front of you?"

"Yes, she did, in fact," Konata announced.

Kagami was blushing. "I thought it had to be done that way! I forgot to research it properly!" she protested.

"Let's have a toast for that, Kagamin!" Konata said, and pushed a rather large cup full of sake to Kagami's hands.

"Again? Why are you making me drink … hey!" Kagami yelled, as she realized why.

"Kagamin …" Konata cooed, and clung into Kagami's side.

"No! I don't want to feel sick next morning!" Kagami protested.

"But I want you to do the same as the last time you got drunk!"

"Oh? What did sis do the last time she got drunk?" Tsukasa asked innocently.

"No! Don't tell her!" Kagami yelled, as Konata opened her mouth.

"But Kagamin, don't you want your sister to learn –"

"No! I don't want my sister – yech, even thinking of it is …" Kagami groaned.

"It's nothing _too_ weird. She only stuck her fingers into my –"

Kagami yelled so loud that Tsukasa couldn't quite hear it. "She stuck them where, Kona-chan?"

Kagami grappled Konata, blocked her mouth, and dragged her away, before she could repeat it. "Just stop talking about it! I'll do it sober if you just stop talking!" Kagami groaned.

Konata grinned so widely that Kagami's palm was barely able to cover it.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Kagami and Konata were relaxing in the sauna together when Konata, ogling at her as usual, suddenly burst into laughter. Kagami flinched and secretly pinched her waist. It didn't feel too pudgy. She had indeed lost weight…

"Kagamin, I'm not laughing at you," Konata whispered. "Your body is perfect. Makes me hot …"

"Konata, we are in sauna. That's what making you hot," Kagami said, but couldn't help smiling and blushing a bit at Konata's words. "What's so funny, then?"

"Miyuki-san's relatives. They were appalled by our miniskirts, but a dozen naked girls doesn't bother them the least."

Indeed, the bathroom and the bathtubs were full of exposed female flesh. Kagami sneered. "Well, that's just how we Japanese are. It's getting hot, let's cool down a bit?"

"Okay."

After they had rinsed themselves at the showers, they heard Misao yelling, "Let's have a race around the house! Naked!"

"You mean outside?" Ayano gasped. "Misa-chan, you know what happened the last time … the police –" Ayano quickly glanced at Miyuki's relatives, but they didn't seem to have heard.

"What's Tsukasa-chan doing in there with the old hags?" Konata asked, pointing at the bathtubs with her finger.

"Ssh!" Kagami hissed. "They might hear."

Tsukasa was in the bath with the "old hags", and she was busy explaining something. "… popular in the USA, Kona-chan said. Everyone sits in a circle, and then we put a bottle in the middle."

"What kind of bottle?" one of Miyuki's relatives asked.

"Oh. I don't know. I suppose any kind will do. Then, someone swings the bottle, and whomever it points at has to choose –"

"Tsukasa! Sauna is free!" Kagami screamed.

"But, sis, I'm just explaining –"

"No, no! You have to go into the sauna right now! It's … it's at the exactly right temperature!" Kagami screamed, sounding a bit panicking. She looked around, seeking assistance to stop Tsukasa from continuing her story.

Konata was too busy laughing to assist her, and Misao and Ayano were still arguing about whether they could go outside in the nude.

"This sauna things sounds interesting!" one of Miyuki's relatives said. "Let's all go there!"

Kagami covered her eyes and groaned.

"Don't mind, Kagamin. Maybe they'll become more understanding when it's Tsukasa who tells them everything."

Kagami sighed deeply. "I guess … someone will tell them everything anyway …"

"Of course," Konata said, and patted Kagami's back. "Besides, I think they are unfazeable. Let's get into the bath."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Why are we cutting the cake now?" Patricia wondered. They had finished bathing and now everyone had gathered in the living room. The wedding cake had been brought and Yukari and Sōjirō were preparing to cut it.

"Eh? Did we do things in wrong order?" Hiyori asked.

"I'm not sure, actually," Patricia said and scratched her head. "It's so long since I've been to a wedding. And I think I'm turning Japanese and you guys do everything in weird order anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you drive on the wrong side of the road. Your electric switches work upside down or are sideways. You put mayonnaise on pizza. You push all those sliding doors wide open when you want to talk in private. You got to wear separate slippers for toilet. There are statues of raccoons with huge scrotum everywhere. You carry giant penises around –"

Hiyori spluttered and coughed.

"But it's fun, actually. I find out some new weirdness every day."

Hiyori protested, "But your country is weird too!"

"Yeah, it is …"

Miyuki cleared her throat, and asked, "Is everyone here? The cake is going to be cut."

"Anyone who is not here, raise their hands," Konata shouted.

Misao raised her hand and shouted, "I'm not here!"

"But Kusakabe-san, you are here," Miyuki said, looking confused.

"I'm not so sure about that," Kagami sighed, glaring at Misao. She didn't like how close the threesome was standing in front of all the strangers. Ayano was practically hanging on Misao's neck. And, Misao's other hand seemed to wander around the lower back of Kagami's younger sister.

"Don't worry, Kagamin," Konata whispered. "I think Tsukasa already told them everything."

Some of Miyuki's relatives did seem to have strangely red face and a stupefied expression.

Kagami sighed. At least they had not left the ceremony.

"Why are they fighting over the cake cutter?" Tsukasa asked Miyuki.

"Ahem. The one who has his hand on the top of the other's while cutting the cake, will be dominant in their marriage," Miyuki explained.

"Looks like dad is winning!" Konata exclaimed.

"Oh, but –" Miyuki was cut when Sōjirō yelped in pain.

"– if you manage to stamp on the other person's foot while cutting the cake, you will be the dominant one," Miyuki concluded.

"I bet sis didn't tell dad about that!" Konata exclaimed.

Kagami looked confused for a second, before she realized who Konata was referring to. "Ah, Miyuki is your sister now. I still can't comprehend that!"

Sōjirō had indeed been treaded on, but otherwise the first piece of cake had been successfully cut and the anime figurines had not fallen off.

"Kagami, which one of us will be the dominant one?" Konata asked innocently, when they were lining up to get slices of cake.

Kagami blushed brightly. For having been thoroughly informed by all aspects of intimacy by Konata – through that "special" kind of anime, if not verbally, or in practice, this question raised rather weird mental images.

"Ka-Kagamin! I didn't mean that!" Konata gasped, pretending to be shocked, as she saw Kagami's expression.

"We – can take turns!" Kagami said.

Konata cackled madly.

A few of Miyuki's relatives looked at them wide-eyed, having heard them.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Minoru looked around the house and finally found Akira on the balcony, leaning onto the railing and staring into the darkness.

"Akira-sama?" he said quietly.

"What? Did you come to gloat over my mistake?" Akira hissed.

"No, of course not … I need to tell you something."

Akira stiffened up, but she didn't move.

"Umm … the reason I haven't said anything … I don't find you completely unattractive …" Minoru stuttered. He could have added a lot of "but"s and "except for"s into that, but he knew that this wasn't the right time for that.

Akira's eyes widened, but she still didn't turn around. There was obviously something very interesting to look at in the bitch black backyard of Iwasaki residence.

Minoru pulled himself together, and said, "… you are so young. And still in high school."

Akira flinched. After a long, awkward silence, she came up with a comeback. "So you like old women! Make a pass at that great-grandmother then! I heard she's a widow!"

"No, it's not like that!" Minoru protested.

"Whatever!" Akira exclaimed, now pretending indifference. "Go on and prepare the equipment. I was supposed to sing, wasn't I? Chop-chop," Akira said.

Only after Minoru had left, Akira turned around. She wiped a few tears off her cheeks and sighed deeply.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Meanwhile, Konata had just stolen Kagami's strawberry and Kagami was chasing her around the room.

"The strawberry bandit stroke again!" Konata yelled, and quickly stuffed the fruit into her mouth before Kagami caught her.

Kagami scooped up some whipped cream from her slice of cake and brushed it into Konata's face. "That serves you right!"

Konata tried to return the favor, but she had cream in her eyes, and as Kagami ducked, she slapped her hand accidentally on Kuroi-sensei's face.

"Izumi!" Kuroi-sensei yelled. "What do you think you are doing? That's detention for you!"

"Sensei, you can't give me detention anymore!" Konata said. "Oh. You never gave me detention. I wonder what it would have been like?"

"Boring. It's really boring," Kuroi-sensei explained, while wiping her face with a napkin.

While they were busy, Kagami snatched the strawberry from Kuroi's slice of cake and escaped.

"Hey! Where did _my_ strawberry go?" Kuroi-sensei yelled. "Did you take it?" she growled at Konata.

"No! I didn't! I swear it!" Konata yelled, and ran away, for Kuroi-sensei was clutching at her.

Tsukasa approached them with an open box of strawberries in her hand. "I knew this would happen, so I brought extra."

"How thoughtful," Kuroi-sensei said, and grabbed a handful.

Tsukasa looked shocked for a moment, but then said, "These are great with balsamic vinegar! And mayonnaise."

"You're pulling my leg, little Hiiragi," Kuroi-sensei said.

Tsukasa giggled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"The newlyweds should have the first dance," Miyuki announced.

After eating the cake, they had made some space in the living room, and were preparing for "traditional wedding dance", insisted by Miyuki and surprisingly by Sōjirō, to a lesser extent.

"There's always dancing at wedding receptions," Konata noted.

"In anime, you mean," Kagami corrected. "Yes, yes," she added, before Konata said anything. "I know you think anime is real life."

Sōjirō was whispering something to Akira and Minoru.

"What is dad doing?" Konata asked Miyuki.

"The song to the newlyweds have their first dance, will be 'their song', so to speak," Miyuki explained.

"You let Konata's dad choose it?" Kagami gasped.

"Oh …" Miyuki said. She had not thought of it. But it was too late; Sōjirō and Yukari were already on the dance floor and music started to play.

Akira looked like if there was nothing unusual about the song. _"This rose is our destiny, hikisakare futari no te wa hanarete-itta …"_

"I was afraid it would be Hare Hare Yukai, or Komm, süßer Tod, or something …" Kagami sighed. "But that … from Adolescence of U*ena? Is that really appropriate?"

"Aww, that dance scene was so great. And, well, dad is a lesbian –"

"Konata!" Kagami interrupted. "Don't say such weird things!"

Konata grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. "Hey! You know I can't dance!"

"Nonsense. You are a great dancer! Remember the tango we had? No, not the horizontal one," Konata corrected jokingly. Of course Kagami knew what she was talking about.

"How could I forget since you even acquired the video!" Kagami groaned.

"Hey, let's do this dance and film it some time? In cosplay?" Konata suggested.

"Next you'll suggest –"

"We must have these costumes at work!" Konata exclaimed. "It will be a sensation!"

"I knew it."

"Kagami, you are Utena, of course."

"Of course… – No, that was not a promise to do it!"

Others were joining the dance, although Tsukasa, Ayano, and Misao didn't seem to be able to start – while it takes two to tango, three seemed to be too many; resulting in entangled limbs and confusion about the direction they should move into.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Everyone, come outside! The newlyweds are going to elope!" Miyuki shouted.

"We decorated dad's car," Konata noted.

"I can see that," Kagami said. Lengths of string were attached at the back of the car, with old shoes, tin cans, and other weird stuff tied to them. The back window had "just married" written on it.

"Konata, you made a mistake with the kanji. Now it says something like, compensating for creeping into girls' beds at nights …" Kagami noted.

Others who could read kanji fluently were bursting into laughter. Misao and Patricia had had the joke to be explained to them.

Fortunately Yukari was too blissful to notice anything.

"Where did you say they were going?" Konata asked her new big sister.

"Izumi-san … dad …" – obviously Miyuki wasn't quite comfortable using that word yet – "… said they will visit his favorite places first. It takes only a day or two. And then they fly to Hawaii for two weeks," Miyuki explained.

"Hawaii!" Misao yelled, as she heard this. "Are they going to eat a whole roasted pork? And dance and do that limbo thing, wearing only skirts made of reeds?"

"Kusakabe, your view of Hawaii is rather weird …" Kagami sighed.

"Well, you haven't been there either," Misao said.

"No, but I've been listening at school! Anyway, Konata … did you say we might go to Okinawa? Matsuri and Inori have been there, but I haven't," Kagami said.

"Yeah, why not! Slacking off at the beach, going diving, seeing Iriomote cats …" Konata vocalized her dreams.

"Chanpurū … and shut up!" Kagami growled, before Konata would say something about her thinking of the food first.

"Kagami, I bet you will fall in love with an Iriomote kitten and then you will have to leave it there and be devastated but then the cat will follow you into mainland and –" Konata said.

"No. I doubt that will happen," Kagami said. "I might be allergic to cats too."

"Anyway, Akira's signed stuff is selling really well. I'm getting easily enough cash for our trip," Konata said, after checking her cell phone.

"What, you are selling them already?" Kagami asked.

"Sure. I've got internet in this cell phone."

"Where would you guys like to go for our honeymoon?" Misao asked, turning to Ayano and Tsukasa.

"Disney World!" Tsukasa said, while Ayano said, "France!"

"And you, Misa-chan?" Tsukasa asked.

Misao scratched the back of her head. "Well, I've been to Hokkaido … and that one time was quite enough."

She shivered, and said, "Maybe … Iceland!"

"Why Iceland, Misa-chan?"

"I don't know. It looks nice. All fire and ice. Like me! And they have their own version of that rotten fish. I've always want to taste it. Saw it in TV or somewhere."

"Rotten fish? Oh, you mean _funazushi_. We had it once," Ayano explained. "I threw up and Misao ate all of it."

"Yeah, but their version is hardcore! It's rotten shark or something," Misao said, looking excited.

Tsukasa's face had turned green and she was blocking her ears.

"See, Konata, I'm not the only one thinking of food first," Kagami noted. "Anyway. Miyuki? Where would you like to go for your honeymoon?"

"France sounds nice. Or Italy. I've always been fan of the Italian Renaissance," Miyuki said. The others looked at her dumbfounded.

"Minami and Yutaka?" Kagami called. The said pair turned around.

"What is it, Kagami-san?" Yutaka asked.

"Where you two want to go on your honeymoon?"

Konata giggled as both of them turned beet red. "Kagami, you made them blush!"

"I wasn't trying to! Anyway, we were just talking about honeymoons in general … I didn't mean you two, as a pair, I mean – uhh …" Kagami was now blushing too.

"Well …" Yutaka said. "France, maybe. Since I like castles and knights and princesses and stuff …"

"Yutaka-san, I'm afraid the French Revolution wiped out most of the nobility," Miyuki said.

As the others looked at her with their mouths open, she added, "… but I'm sure they still have many castles. And Château de Versailles is something I would also like to see."

"Say what?" Misao asked. "Oh, never mind. I don't want to learn anything. We already finished high school!"

"I'm glad I wasn't your homeroom teacher," Kuroi-sensei said. "So, Matsuri-chan, where would you like to go on _our_ honeymoon?"

Matsuri glared at Kuroi-sensei, and said, "The Antarctic!"

"Ooh, penguins are so cute!" Tsukasa exclaimed.

"Why there?" Kuroi-sensei asked.

"Maybe it would cool you down a bit. I'm still hurting from last night –" Matsuri muttered, and hiccupped.

"Sis, you are drunk!" Tsukasa accused.

"Whatever," Matsuri said, and sipped her beer.

"We two would go to USA, of course!" Patricia announced. "And Korea. For _manhwa_."

"But I would also like to visit Dutch," Hiyori said.

"For the drugs?" Patricia asked.

"No!" Hiyori gasped. "Just because, it's a very open-minded country, or so I have heard …"

"Yeah, they would like even those pages you had hidden in the bottom of your drawer," Patricia said.

"Patty-chan!" Hiyori gasped. "Those were not for _anyone_'s eyes!"

"I liked them! Your most private thoughts, drawn as images – such as the one where Yutaka –"

"Nooo!" Hiyori screamed, and blocked Patricia's mouth with her palm.

"Oh? Did you draw a portrait of me?" Yutaka asked.

Hiyori escaped, dragging Patricia with her.

"That leaves just Inori. Where would you go on your honeymoon?" Kagami asked her eldest sister.

"Honeymoon … moon … oh yes. The Moon. That would be nice for a chance," Inori said.

"For a chance?"

"For some peace and quiet."

Kagami looked around.

"Yeah, it's been quite hectic lately."

* * *

_I_ had completely forgotten Kagami already asked Konata to marry her…

I might have done things in wrong order, like, throwing the bouquet first and having the cake later. Never mind … they wouldn't have known either …

Weird. The word "unfazeable" only really appears in a certain game. A game that would be _really_ obscure in Japan. Ah well, that's Konata for you.

It was hard to come up with something to avoid hetero crap (as I call it :) and to keep Minoru and Akira from getting all mushy. Now, that that is resolved, they will finally disappear from this story. Unless there's a huge demand for them?

I've heard they indeed have raccoon (tanuki) statues with big balls everywhere. They bring good luck or something. Oh, and they have a children's song about them_. "Tan-tan-tanuki's testicles, there isn't even any wind but still go swing-swing-swing."_

Strawberries _are_ actually sometimes eaten with balsamic vinegar. Not so sure about mayonnaise – but in Japan … yeah, probably. Oh, and why was Tsukasa shocked? Because strawberries are rather expensive in Japan. They are _way_ cheaper in Finland, at least during the season.

… Komm, süßer Tod as a wedding dance. No, not quite appropriate.

Konata accidentally wrote 結 as 給. It changes the meaning of 結婚 into something weird.


	22. Around the World and All You Needed

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 22: Around the World and All You Needed**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

**Beware the horror!:** there's an **OC** appearing in this chapter. With a name and all. But she will disappear and go away quickly and stop bothering everyone with her offensive and disgusting presence. You'd better skip the entire chapter if you can't stand _any_ OC ever.

* * *

"Are you sure you took your passport?" Konata asked, for the second time.

"Yes, I have, why do you keep asking … wait a minute! Exactly why do I need a passport? We are going to Okinawa," Kagami said. They had just arrived at the airport and were carting their luggage towards the check-in desks. "Okinawa is still part of Japan, you know. Didn't you learn anything in high school?"

"Yes, yes, of course I know that. But … it's a surprise!" Konata exclaimed.

Kagami stopped. Konata was about to walk on, but Kagami pulled at the handle of the pushcart.

"Stop. A surprise, involving a passport? That does not sound good!" Kagami groaned. "Tell me what's going on!"

"Aww, Kagamin, you would have known in just a minute. The big surprise is … we are not going to Okinawa!" Konata said.

Kagami's jaw fell open. "What did you just say?"

"The first surprise is that we are not going to Okinawa."

"What the hell!" Kagami screamed, making some other passengers to turn and look.

Konata gulped. Kagami sure was adept at looking scary. "F-Finland …"

Kagami didn't reply, so Konata repeated, "We are going to Finland."

One, two, three seconds passed. Konata sighed in relief since Kagami didn't explode or crack her skull open with a karate chop.

Kagami only took a deep breath, and said quietly, "Why are we going to Finland?"

"Only for one night! It's another surprise!"

Kagami took another deep breath and rubbed her aching temples.

"Okay. You are paying, so why would I care … wait, I do care! It takes ages to fly there and back! And since we were supposed to go to Okinawa, I didn't pack any warm clothes! Only suntan lotion, bikinis, T-shirts, and –"

"Don't worry, Kagami. It's summer in there too."

"But why? Why are we going there?"

"I … I am not telling you because it's a surprise!" Konata exclaimed, and puckered her lips.

Not even Kagami's fiercest glare, which Konata called the Glare of Death, persuaded her to say anything more.

"Fine! All right! Let's go to Finland if you insist!" Kagami groaned. "This surprise of yours, it'd better be good."

"It is! I assure you," Konata said. "Let's go."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"… I need to sit down," Kagami said, and wiped cold sweat off her forehead. She had turned pale as she realized that they were in an airplane and that it was about to move.

"Kagami, you are already sitting down. Strapped into the seat, in fact," Konata noted.

"Oh."

Konata grimaced as Kagami squeezed her hand a bit too hard. After the takeoff was over, Kagami seemed to relax a bit, and some color returned to her cheeks.

"Thanks for not throwing up, Kagami," Konata said, and snuggled closer to her.

"Uh … I still hate flying," Kagami muttered. "Anyway, could you at least tell me what we will be doing in Finland?"

"Well, Henna Pantsu will meet us at the airport –"

Kagami interrupted. "Wait, what? What did you just say?"

"Henna Pantsu will meet us. Her name is Henna Pantsu."

"Why – HOW – her name can be 'Weird Panties'? And who the heck is Henna Pantsu?"

"Remember when we went to Finland the last time?"

"Of course. Who could forget that trip …" Kagami sighed.

"Remember that Japanese-speaking, blond and blue-haired girl who took us to a cafeteria at the first day. She gave me her e-mail address. Her name is Henna Pantsu."

Kagami laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, honestly! Apparently Henna is quite a common name in there, and Pantsu is her surname. Well, I can't help the fact that her name is 'Weird Panties'! It is true!"

"What a weird country. Well, what else?"

"She will guide us in Helsinki – and … well, it's about the surprise …"

Kagami sighed. "All right then. Let's leave things in the capable hands of Weird Panties then … oh, I still can't believe that name."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yahoo!" a bright voice called.

They had just come to the terminal from the luggage area, when they saw the blonde girl – dressed in gothic-like outfit.

And she was charging at them. Both froze in terror, but all the tall girl did was to grab them both into an embrace. "How wonderful to see you guys again!" she said, in fairly good Japanese. "You are both so _kawaii!_"

"Oh!" she gasped, and quickly released Kagami and Konata. "Sorry, I didn't remember … you are not used to hugging …"

"Sure we are!" Konata claimed.

"Sorry, no …" Kagami muttered.

"Anyway," the girl said, and grabbed Kagami's hand with both hands and started shaking it. "Welcome to Finland, Hiiragi-san. I am Henna Pantsu –"

Kagami's cheeks bulged, but she had to give up and burst into laughter. Konata laughed as well.

"Yeah, my name does get funny reactions. The last time I were in Japan –"

"What, you've been to Japan?" Kagami asked.

"Of course! I've been to Comiket, even!" Henna announced proudly. "And your girl Konata is a living legend. Legendary Girl A, they call her! She's known even here in Finland –"

"Anyway, P-Pantsu-san, what are we doing here, exactly?" Kagami asked, trying not to laugh, and yanked her hand free from the Finnish girl's grasp. She was too touchy-feely to her taste. Still, Kagami was blushing a bit because all the touching didn't feel bad. Quite the contrary.

"Ah. It's a surprise!" Henna declared.

Kagami glanced at Konata. "I should have guessed."

"Do you want something to eat first? Or do you need to go to the bathroom?" Konata asked.

"Why are you asking?"

"This will take a hour or two."

"What will take a hour or two – no, don't tell me! 'It's a surprise.'"

"Exactly, Kagamin!"

Henna led them outside and into the bus. It took them half an hour to get to downtown. The Finnish girl chatted happily and endlessly, mostly with Konata, and about all things anime, manga, and cosplay, from T*uhou Project to Mo*mins. Kagami tried to follow the conversation but she lost track of it quickly.

Something made her snap awake, though. "What? Who's this Reimu Hakurei? Konata, did you just compare me to … whoever that is?" Kagami asked.

"Oh, that's right! You are a real _miko_!" Henna gasped, and looked at Kagami with admiration.

"Uh … and you remind me of Konata's dad …" Kagami muttered.

"Sorry, Pantsu-san, I didn't remember to tell her to bring the outfit," Konata said, and sighed. "Besides, she's nothing like Reimu. She's more like … Remilia."

"I don't know who that is, but I think I was just insulted," Kagami muttered. She leaned onto the seat and closed her eyes.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"So, what is this place? Why are we here?" Kagami asked. They had placed their luggage into the lockers at the station and walked a couple of blocks. Now, they were standing at a brick building with incomprehensible words on the wall: "VALTION VIRASTOTALO STATENS ÄMBETSHUS".

"Let's get inside first," Konata said. "Pantsu-san," Konata had to take a pause because she burst into giggles again, "would you show us the way?"

They climbed a flight of stairs and came to a door with another incomprehensible text: "MAISTRAATTI MAGISTRATER".

"What's that? A magician's office?" Kagami asked.

Henna burst into laughter for some reason.

Konata explained, "This is the district registry office."

She drew a deep breath, turned to Kagami, and took her hand into her own. "Since same-sex marriages are legal in this country, we are getting married right now! Pantsu-san helped me with all the documents and papers, they are all here," Konata said. Henna lifted a binder from her handbag and waved it in the air.

"The law in Japan changed just recently so that foreign same-sex marriages are officially recognized in there," Henna said.

Kagami had turned pale. Her jaw twitched. She leaned onto Konata, wrapped her arms around her, buried her face into her chest, and started bawling.

Konata stuttered, "K-K-Kagamin? I-is there something wrong?" and petted her head.

"No, no! This is … I'm just …" Kagami gasped. She drew a shaky breath, wiped her tears, and clambered up. "I'm just overwhelmed … a bit. A-and it was I who should have thought of this. Thank you, Konata …"

Konata handed her a handkerchief. Kagami blew her nose into it noisily and handed it back.

"Uh, you can keep that, Kagamin …" Konata said. "Wait, don't wipe your eyes what that! Here's a fresh one."

"T-thank you, Konata …" Kagami gasped. She started walking into the wrong direction, and Konata had to lead her.

"Sorry, I don't think I've got a wedding ring for you. I forgot about that in all the excitement."

"E-engagement rings will do until we get new ones …" Kagami stuttered, and almost walked into the doorframe.

"You are so touched, Kagamin …" Konata whispered. Her own eyes began to tear up as well. Slightly wobbling, they walked inside and to the desk.

"Pantsu-san, can you interpret?" Konata asked.

"Sure, but I think chief magistrate speaks English," Henna said.

"Umm … so can you interpret?" Konata asked, looking a bit sheepish.

Kagami sniffed, and muttered, "Konata, you've been studying English since elementary school –"

"T-that's my Kagamin … scolding me at a time like this …" Konata said, and swallowed her tears.

"Oh, I forgot to ask you about music, like, a wedding march or something," Henna noted.

"And I forgot to get any wedding dresses!" Konata gasped. "Cosplay –"

"That's my Konata, thinking of cosplay at a time like this!" Kagami groaned.

"You know me …"

"Yes … and you know me …" Kagami replied. They looked each other at the eyes, smiled, and moved closer to each other. Kagami brushed a few stray hairs off Konata's cheek.

The chief magistrate cleared her throat and started talking. She smiled indifferently, as if marrying two young Japanese girls was commonplace.

Neither of them found themselves able to understand English at the moment, or her accent was possibly too weird for their ears, but fortunately their blond friend was there to interpret.

After their documents had been checked and officially recorded, the chief magistrate asked something.

"Do you want to keep your own surnames or take a shared one?" Henna interpreted.

"Darn. We didn't think of that beforehand!" Konata exclaimed. "I'm rather fond of my surname. Becoming a Hiiragi … now that would be weird! … oh, hey, or I could also choose the name Takara! Maybe that name would make my boobs grow –"

"Konata! Let's just keep our surnames!" Kagami groaned.

"Okay, we'll keep 'em," Konata confirmed.

"Sure?" Henna asked.

Both of them nodded. The magistrate scribbled something onto the papers, and talked some more gibberish. This time, she was looking directly at Kagami.

"Do you, Kagami Hiiragi, want to take Konata Izumi as your wife?"

Kagami sighed in relief. She was a bit afraid what Konata would have said had she been asked first.

"Yes!" Kagami said, her voice breaking a little. She felt her heart to skip a few beats.

"And do you, Konata Izumi, want to take Kagami Hiiragi as your wife?"

Konata opened her mouth. With Kagami glaring at her – with an expression quite unlike Konata had ever seen before, she did not dare to crack any jokes. "Yes!" she simply said, and grinned.

Kagami let out another sigh of relief.

At the moment, they couldn't quite see or hear anything but each other. "Hey, guys!" Henna had to practically yell.

They flinched and looked at her, and then at the magistrate.

"You may kiss," she said. This time they had no trouble understanding her.

Kagami turned beet red. "We can't kiss in public!" she groaned.

Konata burst into laughter. "I think this time we can! Lean down a bit, Kagamin?"

Kagami looked around, licked her lips reflectively, leaned down, and whispered, "No tongue this time, Konata!"

Henna started applauding as they kissed. "You are now legally wife and wife!" she announced.

"Thank you, Pantsu-san!" Kagami said, after she managed to pry Konata's lips off of her.

"Yeah, thank you a lot! We couldn't have done this without you!" Konata exclaimed.

"Nah … but I'm happy that I could help you. You need to sign a few more papers. Then, we have to celebrate this! There's a manga café nearby!"

Konata looked at Kagami questioningly. "How about that, wife?"

"Wife …" Kagami began, and giggled. "Sure, let's go there first. But I except a dinner later!"

"Anything for mai waifu!" Konata said.

"Watch out. I might take you on to that, wife!"

Konata looked at Henna. She started explaining, "Well, the most expensive restaurant in town is –"

"Ssh!" Konata hissed. "We don't want to know that!"

"Why? That's exactly what I would like to hear!" Kagami said, and chuckled. "Just joking. I don't want you to spend _all_ your money here."

"Thanks, wife …"

"Because there's plenty of time to do that in Okinawa."

"Ouch."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Henna handed them the last bunch of papers. "And finally, here's everything translated into Japanese."

"These are sure to get a reaction from Japanese bureaucrats!" Konata noted.

They were sitting at the local Manga Café. Kagami was concentrating onto a very large slice of cake – to celebrate the occasion, Konata had bought an entire cake for them.

"I am disappoint!"

Kagami glanced at her. Konata had spoken in English, but it had sounded somehow wrong. Henna, on the other hand, seemed to get it, and giggled at the comment.

"Because there are no cosplay waitresses!" Konata explained.

"You would be hired in an instant," Henna said. "And your wife too."

"Konata, we're leaving tomorrow. Don't even think of it!" Kagami muttered.

"Sorry, as Kagami said, we can't stay here and work as cosplay waitresses," Konata confirmed.

"I understood you don't have a place to stay?" Henna asked.

"No, you told us you would know a place."

"Good. Because I do know. It's called 'Apple Hotel'. I'll book a room for you with my cell phone. The cost for the room is the same, whether it's one, two or even four people," Henna explained, and started clicking the buttons.

"What, is it a capsule hotel?" Kagami asked.

"Capsule … ah, no. It's more like a love hotel. There's no reception desk, and so on."

"Love hotel for the lovers!" Konata exclaimed.

"Hush!" Kagami hissed. "They might understand Japanese in here!"

"Kagamin … I mean, wife. There's no need to hide anything. We are legally married!"

"Oh. That's right … I guess still can't quite believe it," Kagami said.

After they had finished the cake, Kagami yawned. "I don't think I need dinner. That cake was big…"

"Me neither. Maybe we should just go to the hotel and lie together – I mean, lie down!" Konata corrected quickly.

"Well … this is our wedding night," Kagami said, and winked an eye. Months with Konata had made her more accustomed to this sort of innuendo, and she wasn't even blushing very brightly.

"Pantsu-san, could you show us where it is?" Konata asked.

"Of course!" the Finnish girl said. Her phone beeped, she glanced at it, and said, "And your room is booked already."

They got their luggage from the station, and after a few minutes' walk, they had arrived into the hotel. There was a number code which opened the doors, including their room door. It wasn't a very fancy room, but it was clean, it had a large double bed, a bathroom, small couch, and a TV set.

"I have a bottle of champagne!" Konata announced, and indeed, pulled a large, one-and-a-half liter bottle from her bag. "It's not the most expensive stuff, but it's real."

"Looks good. Where did you get that?"

"Oh, I bought it at the airport. Got some plastic champagne cups as well. Right, Pantsu-san, come on in!" Konata said.

"What? Oh no, I can't bother you on your wedding night! I'll just leave and –" Henna said, and bowed.

"Nonsense! We must offer you a glass of this stuff, at least! And we have to thank you properly! After all you have done for us …"

"Konata … wife is right. Come in," Kagami said. "Take a drink with us."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

The champagne made them feel all warm and bubbly inside. They were all sitting on the bed – the couch was too small for three people – watching at the incomprehensible Finnish TV, chatting about various things which they tended to forget right away, and bursting helplessly into giggles.

Suddenly Kagami realized that they were sitting very close, and touching each other. And that Henna, sitting in between of them, smelled good, and felt warm and fuzzy. Kind of like Yui Hirasawa in K-*n! like Konata would have described her.

"Konata," Kagami whispered, not very quietly. "That blond girl is hot … do you like her?"

"Of course! That blond hair … and blue eyes … not that I don't like your colors … she's got a rather nice pair of boobs too!" Konata muttered.

"And she is sitting right here, and understands Japanese rather well," the Finnish girl commented, and giggled. "Anyway, I like you guys too … a lot … I've loved Japanese girls since I saw my first anime!"

"… and this feels good," she sighed, and pulled the married couple even closer to her.

"Kagamin … let's show her how grateful we really are?" Konata whispered.

"Yes …" Kagami whispered. She didn't even know what she was doing any more. She just knew it felt good, so good …

Their clothes started to come off.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

(And now, a short interlude.

Once, an old novel described a lovely young maiden going into her bedroom at night and putting her lovely fingers on the top button of her dress and then it said, _"But now we must leave her. There are some intimacies which you and I, dear reader, must not venture to violate; some girlish secrets which we must not betray to the vulgar gaze. Night has drawn its protecting veil; let us draw ours!"_

… in short, this story is rated T.)

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Next morning, Kagami woke up. She felt a slight headache, but it wasn't even quite a hangover.

Konata was snuggled close to her and breathing softly in her sleep.

Miss Henna Pantsu was nowhere to be seen.

Kagami remembered last night only vaguely. Cautiously, she thought about how she felt. They had just had a third person in bed with them, on their wedding night. Up to a certain point, she remembered what they had done. Which was – basically – everything. It still didn't feel wrong. She knew it had been only this one night, and that it would never happen again. She felt quite content alone, with just Konata. Her wife.

She smiled, moved Konata's arm hugging her away carefully, got out of the bed, stretched her arms, and went to wash her hands and mouth – these parts of her body which had a funny, though pleasant, smell and felt sticky.

There were teabags, instant coffee, and an electric heater available, so she filled its pitcher and flipped the switch on.

There was a paper on the table. A letter, written in English. Only a few lines. Pantsu-san didn't know how to write Japanese?

"Congratulations to newlyweds! I don't know enough kanji to write this in Japanese. I had a great night, and hope you all will have a wonderful life together! – Love, Weird Panties"

Kagami giggled at the signature. She had a feeling that there was something odd with the letter, but she didn't bother to think about it now.

"Is Marimite on?" Konata gasped, and raised herself up to a sitting position. She looked still half-asleep.

"No, it's gone already, it's 8 a.m., besides, we don't have Japanese TV in this hotel," Kagami said. "Do you want coffee or one of these rather suspicious teabags?"

"Coffee …" Konata muttered. "Our flight leaves at half past noon … there's plenty of time …"

"Is it a direct flight?"

"What? Yes, I think … direct to N-n-" a huge yawn stopped Konata finishing saying 'Naha'.

"Pantsu-san said this hotel doesn't have a breakfast," Kagami noted.

"Yeah … I mean no, it doesn't. We can have somewhere later. What's that paper?"

Kagami interpreted the letter to Konata, who smiled at it, but had a wistful look on her face.

"Kagami … so this was a one-night stand?"

"Yes. I know, we won't be doing this again. We … sort of … paid back to her. We both wanted to give her something."

"It was great. I wouldn't mind trying again … if we found someone as nice as her," Konata said, and grinned.

"We'll see. And don't suggest Miyuki!"

"Kagami! She's my sister! How could you even mention her!" Konata gasped, but she was holding back a laugh. "Besides, she's straight." Then she noticed something, and rubbed her eyes. "Kagami, there's something on your tummy."

Kagami realized she had been stark naked all the time, but for once it didn't embarrass her the slightest.

"Oh? Indeed. What is this?" she said, and looked down. It was like a drawing, drawn with some thick, brown paint. She brushed the paint with her finger, and tasted it cautiously. "It's … chocolate. What? Did we use chocolate?" Kagami couldn't remember anything of sorts.

Konata looked equally puzzled. "Come here, let me see. I think it's a figure or a shape."

She studied Kagami's tummy from a close distance, and swiftly took a lick.

Kagami screamed shrilly and jumped backwards. "That tickled!" she yelled.

"It is chocolate. And, I think, it's a pentagram," Konata said.

"What?"

"There was a pentagram drawn onto your tummy. With chocolate," Konata explained.

"Why?"

"How should I know! I can't remember us licking chocolate off each other's bodies, at all! Though, I wish I could remember. It sounds fun!"

Kagami scratched her head. "Odd. I thought I remember almost all we did."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever. The water is boiling."

* * *

Henna is a relatively common Finnish first name (over 11,000 people), and Pantsu is a Finnish surname (over 100 people). I don't know whether anyone actually has that combination. Oh, in case you didn't realize it, _henna_ means 'weird' in Japanese, and _pantsu_ means, well, panties…

That wouldn't have actually been legal, but things are slowly changing. "Justice Ministry plans to enable Japanese nationals to marry same-sex partners who have citizenship in countries where gay marriage is legally approved," says Wikipedia.

There actually is a Manga Café in Helsinki. I haven't been there, though, and I think they didn't have maids or cosplay waitresses.

The text of the interlude is borrowed from Rex Stout's "Too Many Cooks". The scene for which it was used in that book was _rather_ different, though.

The Finnish girl, Henna Pantsu, aka Weird Panties, aka Pantsu-san, is gone. She might be mentioned later, but she will never appear again (unless for some weird reason there's a huge demand, which I doubt). I hope you don't all hate this story now because an OC appeared in one chapter. Technically, she appeared way back in another chapter, why didn't you start hating then? :)

I see that I could make the chapters much longer by describing things more. But I'm not adept at describing people's clothing and appearance. Should train it, though. Also, I could include dozens of little things, such as the girls getting nervous about opening of the bottle of champagne. Those things, like, EXPLODE when they are opened. And the cork flies off like a bullet. Kagami, being the bravest, would have probably opened it.


	23. Legendary Girls A and B

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 23: Legendary Girls A and B**

This is the "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic.

Mostly just Konami; little slices of their life. Hope this is better than the last two chapters, at least I worked on this much more.

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Good evening. Is it possible to get the bridal suite, since we are just married?" Konata asked the receptionist. They had flown back from Finland and were now in a hotel in Naha, the capitol city of Okinawa. Both were really tired, but happy. Kagami was about to fall asleep standing up.

The receptionist looked around, and said, "Oh. Welcome to Naha, and congratulations! … sorry, but may I ask, are your husbands arriving later? Or are they already here?"

Konata looked as puzzled as the receptionist. Then her face brightened up. "Oh! Hiiragi-san here is my wife! And I'm her wife. We are married to each other."

The receptionist blinked her tired eyes. She wanted to tell this kid that it was awfully late for jokes, but instead, she sighed, and tried to be polite. "Miss…Madam, I'm afraid I don't understand. Also, we only have one bridal suite. It is available, though."

"One suite is enough, thank you," Konata said, and pulled a copy of their certificate – in Japanese – from her bag.

The receptionist looked at it and her jaw fell open. "Let me get the manager – no, sorry, I can't get the manager, he's not here until tomorrow – I – uh … sorry, I'll just … get the bridal suite read for you, then."

"Good that you had several copies made, wife," Konata said, and nudged Kagami. "I get a feeling that paper is going to be needed a lot."

Kagami was half-asleep and didn't quite comprehend the situation, and only mumbled something.

The receptionist had picked up the phone. She was to the chambermaid, and getting more agitated. "How should I know how you prepare the bridal suite for such a pair!" she raised her voice.

"Um, miss, just do whatever you do normally," Konata said.

She turned around and said, "… the complimentary contraceptives?"

_"Nowadays, even married couples seem to want them."_

Konata cackled, remembering their night at the love hotel. "Yeah, why not! We can blow up balloons if nothing else."

The receptionist rolled her eyes, but decided to give up. "Just do what you'd normally do," she said into the phone, and used the computer to book them for the bridal suite.

As she looked up and at Konata's mischievous smile, she suddenly started to like her, and smiled back. "Here's your key. The suite is on the top floor. The elevator is over there. Do you need someone to carry your bags?"

"No, we're good. Thank you," Konata said, and started to lead Kagami away.

The receptionist rubbed her eyes. Maybe that had been just a dream. Well, she would check it from the register tomorrow.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"I can't quite remember our previous wedding night, so tonight we're going to do it all again!" Konata declared.

Kagami snapped awake and dropped her suitcase. "What? R-really…? I'm not sure if I can …"

"No, I meant just the two of us. Unless the chambermaid is hot."

"Konata! Not again!"

"Just kidding," Konata said. "And if you're tired, you can just lie down and let me have my way with you?"

"Konata! … I … o-okay …" Kagami stuttered. Thinking of that – something she had experienced a couple of times already – made her felt weak at the knees, so she slumped down onto the bed.

There was a clinking sound as Konata took something out of her bag.

"I'll make sure that you only lie down and relax …" she muttered.

Kagami looked up. Konata was holding a pair of handcuffs.

"W-where did you get those…?"

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"T-the sky … is so blue! … Yeeeeee! Okinawa! Okinawaa! Hurry! Hurry!" Konata screamed, and ran around in circles.

It was next day, and they had just come out of the hotel. Konata's performance attracted some attention from the other tourists.

"Shut up! … and we overslept."

Yet, Kagami tried to wipe the huge grin off her face. The marks on her wrists had already started to fade but they reminded her of last night.

"But, wife … we're on vacation! We can oversleep as much as we want to!"

"Now, about this museum in this guidebook –"

"Haisai!" Konata yelled.

"What? Oh, you've learned okinawan …"

"I watched episode 21, twice, before we left!"

Kagami sighed. "Yeah, but you don't have to re-enact it – oh, damn!" she groaned.

Konata burst into laughter. "I didn't even have to tell you which anime it was!"

"Compared to you, I'm not an otaku!"

"Oh yes you are! You cosplay! You read manga! You watch anime! You like _yuri_ –"

"All right, all right. Don't shout such things in public!"

Kagami blushed as she noticed that many tourists had already stopped to look at them with amusement. "Let's go already!"

"So, the deal was, that we do one thing you want first, then one thing I want?" Konata said, as they were walking ahead, hand in hand.

"Yes. And we are not going to that island with cats! I think I'm allergic to cats."

"Okay, I have something better in mind anyway," Konata cooed, and winked an eye.

"Konata, I can't do that all day and night! I'm getting rather sore –"

Konata cackled. "But I love you so much that I want to do you all day and night! … just kidding again. I thought of going diving. It will be AWESOME FUN!" Konata yelled at the top of her lungs, startling another group of tourists.

Kagami snatched her arm free from Konata's grasp and plugged her ears. "Don't shout! And do you just _have_ to do things from that anime? … I think that yell was from that anime! The museum is over there."

The word "museum" made Konata stop on her tracks.

"Come on, it will be educational! And fun!"

"But, but … I just got out of high school! I don't need to learn anymore!" Konata complained.

Kagami grabbed Konata's arm and dragged her along.

"Wow," Konata said, as she saw the sign.

"I told you."

"Think of it … what if us two had lived during World War II? You would have been a nazi officer and I'd have been this young Japanese commando soldier, and we'd have met somewhere in the South West Pacific –"

"Konata, that sounds like a light novel..."

"More like fan fiction … or doujin … I've got to text Hiyorin about this!"

The sign said, "Naval Underground Headquarters" – it was the museum of Japanese Naval Headquarters from the 1940's.

"Wait, nazi officer? Nazi officer!" Kagami yelled.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"This _is_ awesome, actually. And a bit scary," Kagami said.

They were in the cabinet of a motorboat, putting on wetsuits for scuba diving, after a crash course.

"Don't worry, wife. Sharks, giant squids, and barnacles are scared of you and not the other way round!"

"Barnacles?" Kagami gasped.

"You know, there was this girl who visited the sea … and that night, she noticed that barnacles were growing on her knee…" Konata muttered in a hoarse whisper.

"Don't bother. I'm not scared."

Konata flinched and tried to reach her back with her hand, which was considerably harder while wearing a tight wetsuit. "K-Kagami! There's something inside this wetsuit!"

"I'm still not scared –" Kagami's eyes widened. Indeed, there was something bulging inside the back of Konata's wetsuit.

For a moment, she just stared at Konata in horror, and then let out a deep sigh. "… it's your hair, Konata. All clumped under the wetsuit."

"Whew. For a moment I thought it was a jellyfish!" Konata exclaimed, and opened the zipper, to rearrange her hair.

Kagami shivered. "Okay, that _was_ a little scary!"

"Jellyfishes … sneaking up on you … creeping inside your wetsuit … that slimy, clammy touch … and then, the terrible pain of hundred thousand poison stringers …" Konata whispered.

"Now it's not scary anymore. Come on, I'm not Tsukasa."

"Worth a try. You're all set? Let's go."

They climbed up to the deck and the guide helped them to wear the rest of the gear. Konata ogled their guide – a young, tanned and slim woman – with open interest, while Kagami tried not to show that she liked what she saw as well. Konata winked an eye at her.

"Konata …" Kagami whispered to her, before they descended into the water. "Let's not hit on every good-looking woman we meet."

"You weren't so prude when we persuaded that air hostess joining the mile high club with us," Konata whispered, and grinned.

Kagami blushed as she remembered what had happened during their flight back from Finland. Somehow, they had ended up banging their petite Japanese flight air hostess together in the toilet. She almost couldn't believe it had really happened.

"We are a strange couple indeed …" she sighed. "Okay, I guess we can hit on her."

"Kagami, I wonder … is there an underwater equivalent of the mile high club?" Konata asked aloud.

Their guide – who was well aware that they were a married couple – flashed a beaming smile at them, winked an eye, and said, "Sure there is. It's called 100 feet club."

Kagami and Konata stared at her, then at each other.

"I think there's a pattern developing in here," Kagami noted.

"I like this pattern!" Konata exclaimed.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Yes, yes, sensei!" Konata agreed into her cell phone. "That's great! We'll be there. Next Tuesday? All right. See you then."

It was several weeks after their "honeymoon", it was Saturday, and they were home, having late breakfast. Kagami looked up from the newspaper. "Wait – what did you promise to her?"

Konata ended the call and said, "She asked us to visit our old _aruma meitaa_ next week and give a lecture."

It took Kagami a moment to decipher that. "… alma mater? You mean Ryōō High?"

"Yeah! We haven't been there since … since I can't remember. I never thought I would, but now I kind of want to see it again. And to see how Yu-chan is doing."

"Tuesdays are okay, as you know I have no lectures … wait, what exactly are we giving a lecture about?"

"Oh, just about us two."

"Fine," Kagami said, and returned to her newspaper.

Konata almost inhaled her tea as Kagami screwed the newspaper into a ball a moment later.

"Us! Us!" Kagami shouted. "You can't mean …!"

"Yeah, about our legal marriage and such. Sensei said that we are the first Japanese same-sex pair ever, so she wanted to have us lecturing about it."

"Uh … Konata, what if media gets the wind of this?"

"That will make us famous!" Konata said, looking excited.

Kagami shivered. "I don't want to be famous …"

"Well … It's good practice to give lectures. We've bound to hold press conferences and appear on talk shows."

Kagami groaned and buried her head into her arms.

"Kagamin … wife. I don't think we can stop the media. We are going to be top news. Eventually they will be at our door. But think of it … we are set for life! My business is already rather famous, and this will make it known nationwide. We can write a book! There will be a movie about us! You can use the fame in your profession. A lawyer who managed a same-sex marriage. You can bill a hundred thousand yen a hour!"

Kagami looked up. "Kona – …wife. You sure have grown up … I guess you are right, but … I hate publicity …"

"We'll just have to get used to it. We can get a bigger apartment – a detached house, surrounded by a wall? That way we will have more privacy. We can in fact start looking now, because I can get a loan easily. And I'll hire more people to do most of the business and concentrate on expanding it and maintaining my contacts."

"Hire more people?"

"Oh, didn't I mention it? I hired Patty-chan and Hiyori already. They are doing part-time. Looks like I also need some half dozen full-time employees by the end of this year in any case."

Kagami stared at Konata in awe. "… I never thought I would miss our part-time job at the cosplay café…"

"Yeah, I guess we can't go back in there after this goes public. No matter, we can have as many private cosplay parties as you want to!"

"That's not what I meant –" but Kagami couldn't help smiling.

"Admit it, you like cosplay!"

"No! No, I don't!"

Konata just batted her eyelashes at Kagami until she gave up.

"… okay, okay, you win … I like cosplay! I always did …" Kagami muttered. She knew she was blushing, but she also knew that it was not nearly as bright it would have been a year before.

"What costumes you like the most?"

"Haruhi … nurse … uhh … and a-air hostess … and wetsuit … scuba gear …"

Konata cackled. "That isn't really cosplay, but I like the idea."

To get her mind off of this, Kagami ignored Konata and started trying to smooth out the newspaper.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Ryōō High. This is so … nostalgic," Kagami sighed. "And embarrassing!"

They had given their lectures. It turned out that not only Konata, but Kagami too were both legendary at their old school. There were framed photographs of them hanging on the walls – Konata cosplaying Haruhi, and Kagami wearing the boys' uniform, among the others.

They had had to write hundreds of autographs.

Yutaka had also become so popular that Minami had to act as a virtual bodyguard for her at all times. But she didn't seem to mind, on the contrary, Kagami and Konata had never saw Minami smiling as much as she did these days.

Finally the school day was over. Konata dragged Kagami upstairs and onto the roof, despite her protests.

"Come on, Kagami! I bet you never thought we would make love on the roof of Ryōō High!"

"No. I never thought of that. Not for a second!"

"And in the girls' dressing room …"

"What? You don't mean we have to go there as well?"

"Sure, why not. You want to go?"

"Yes! No! No, I mean! I don't!"

"Don't you remember the scent? It smells like, young girls … with raging hormones … the musky aroma of their –"

"Ewwww! Shut up!" Kagami yelled, but she realized her heart was pounding and her cheeks were burning. "I can't understand how you can make such … kinky things sound so erotic!"

Konata's hands were already travelling in penalty areas under Kagami's clothes. She knew she couldn't resist much longer. "Okay … let's find a secluded place … behind those chimneys …? Uhh, I can't believe I'm actually doing this!"

"I have only one regret," Konata whispered.

"I'm afraid to ask, but … what is it? I hope you don't suggest a threesome with Kuroi-sensei or something."

"No, I regret we didn't wear our sailor uniforms!"

"D-do you still … have it?" Kagami found herself asking.

"Sure. And you have yours too!"

"What, how do you know? I keep those at my parents' house –" Kagami snapped her mouth shut, but it was too late.

Konata giggled, and wrapped her arms around her wife. "You really love cosplay, don't you?"

"Just don't tell anyone."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Later that week, they had invited Tsukasa, Misao, and Ayano to a dinner, and to inform them about their legal marriage.

Misao squinted her eyes, which meant that she was thinking hard, and then she spoke to Tsukasa and Ayano. "Hey! … could we three do that too?"

"Sorry, Misa-chan, I don't think any country allows marriage between three people."

"Saudi-Arabia?" Konata suggested.

"Not three girls! Definitely not. In there, a man can have many wives, I think … and that's all," Kagami said. "Konata, I seriously wonder did you learn anything at high school?"

"Sure I did! I learned, that … hmm …" Konata put a finger onto her lips. "Ah! They always run out of _karee raisu_ at the canteen!"

"That's not the kind of knowledge I meant!"

"By the way, guys," Misao said. "What's the mile high club?"

"Konata!" Kagami groaned. "Did you tell her?"

"No! … or I did text Tsukasa we joined the mile high club. Oh, and, big news, and we also joined the 100 feet club –"

"Don't tell them!"

Tsukasa, who was blushing slightly, cleared her throat. "Umm, sis … I know what mile high club is. I've learned a lot at the nursing school … what's the 100 feet club?"

Kagami glared at her sister. "It's the same, but underwater," she said, since Tsukasa would apparently find it out anyway.

"Wow," Ayano and Tsukasa said.

"What do those things mean? Explain!" Misao yelled.

"Oh yes, we will …" Ayano said, and slapped her hand on Misao's shoulder. "I think we three got to join those clubs as well!"

"Bah, I don't want to join any clubs! We just got out of high school!" Misao yelled.

The others burst into laughter.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Konata! No! You just _can't_ cosplay on national TV! This is supposed to be a serious interview!"

To Kagami's relief, their first public appearance was on TV and not in the tabloids. They were in the dressing room of the TV studio, having a tug-o-war with Konata's outfit – Haruhi's sailor dress with SOS Brigade Leader armband.

"On the contrary! I _must_ cosplay! I'm the goddess of otaku! I must spread the good word!" Konata said. Then, she smiled slyly, and added, "Kagamin, I've got the Kagamiku dress for you, if you want to?"

"Definitely not!"

"Maid?"

"I said no! I'm not cosplaying!"

"Bunny girl?"

"What, how many outfits you brought?"

"I also had them bring the station's entire cosplay selection!" Konata announced, and pointed at a long rack of clothes.

"Do they have anything normal in there?"

"Just this one, I think. It's called 'businesswoman'. Dark navy skirted suit, white blouse."

Kagami sighed. "I guess it's time for me to start looking like a lawyer."

An hour later, Kagami wanted just to sink through the floor and disappear. At least Konata was hoarding all the attention and most of the screen time, and answering almost all of the questions.

Shamelessly, Konata told the entire nation about their legal marriage, waving the certificate at the camera. Somehow she also managed to advertise her business along the way. _"She'll never grow up…"_ Kagami thought.

The reporter was totally thrilled – silently, Kagami thanked the gods that the reporter was not an attractive young woman, but a married, middle-aged one.

She blushed as she realized what she was thinking in the middle of something that would irrecoverably change their life forever. _"I wonder what that club would have been called..."_

"Hey, wife! You've been awfully quiet! Say something."

"I think you have explained things perfectly clearly –"

"Tell them how you dressed up in boy's uniform at Ryōō High!"

The reporter lady said, "I'd be delighted to hear that story, but I'm afraid we're running out of time."

"Saved by the bell," Kagami noted, and smiled.

"So, just one more question. I understood you, Izumi-san, are called Legendary Girl A?" the reporter lady asked.

"Yeah, well, the doujin dealers used to think that from whatever circle I bought would become popular."

"Eh? Anyway, I think you are both legendary. Hiiragi-san, maybe you should be called Legendary Girl B."

"Uh, no, thanks. It's … my wife who's legendary. I just tag along."

Konata jumped onto her lap and locked her lips with hers.

Dangers of a live broadcast. They didn't have time to cut it.

Kagami didn't bother resisting. Since everything had been said already, maybe it was best to drive the point home.

* * *

If you knew it was episode 21 of Azumanga Daioh, you're an otaku too. And, now I remembered that Patty and Hiyori actually met Kagura at some point … so an anime mentioned in this story is also happening along with this story. Weird.

Anyway, things get even weirder in the next chapter. Which is the final chapter.

That's one museum I'd like to see.

There must be other clubs in addition to Mile High Club and 100 Feet Club. Kagami and Konata shall join them all!

There's still one chapter coming up (it's half done already). I doubt there will be a sequel to this sequel. I'll be writing something else. I'll try to participate in the challenges on the Mostly Lucky Star Forum – I won't stop writing for Lucky Star.


	24. Baby Boom!

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 24: Baby Boom!**

_This is the final chapter of Dare!_

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

Kagami looked up from the newspaper, and said, "Hey, wife …"

It was weeks after their marriage, but calling Konata that still made her feel all warm inside. "When is your new mother having the baby?"

They were at home, having a leisurely breakfast at a Sunday morning.

"In about three weeks, I think. Oh, but she's not getting a baby," Konata noted, not raising her gaze from the manga.

"W-what?" Kagami gasped.

"She's getting twins."

Kagami stared at Konata when she tried to imagine what they would be like. "A-are they identical or fraternal …?"

Konata chuckled. "Silly wife, you can't tell until they are born."

"Oh, of course …" Kagami muttered.

What if one of them would be like Yukari and another like Sōjirō? Or what if one would inherit the genes that made Miyuki a genius, but Sōjirō's character. Kagami shivered. That was a rather disturbing thought.

"No, no! They are just little babies! I can't think of them like that!" she groaned to herself, pulling her hair.

Konata chuckled again. "I'm sure they will grow up just fine. You can be their godmother or something."

"We don't have godmothers, that's a Christian practice," Kagami noted.

"Oh?" Konata got interested enough to take her eyes off her manga. "I thought it was a mafia practice!"

"What? First, I'm a Nazi officer, and now a wise guy!"

"But, of course, Kagamin. You are becoming a lawyer!"

Kagami snapped her mouth shut and hid herself behind the newspaper. Another conversation that had turned out much too weird.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Yukari's calculated time was approaching, when Yutaka fell ill.

Since Sōjirō was rather useless – all he did was to panic each time Yukari even coughed – Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa came to help, and Minami came to nurse Yutaka. They would run the Izumi household when Yukari was having the babies.

It was that same Friday evening when Yukari began to have contractions. Sōjirō became dizzy and had to be escorted to the bedroom. He lied there with a cold towel on his forehead, almost having contractions himself. Konata had forced a bottle of sake down his throat, which seemed to calm him a bit.

"Hm, I have another contraction," Yukari casually mentioned to Miyuki. She was sitting at the living room table, reading a magazine, while Miyuki was preparing tea.

Miyuki peeked out of the kitchen, marveling at her mother's resistance to pain, and then she looked at the clock. "They are thirty minutes apart, so there's no hurry. We should wait an hour or two before we leave."

"Oh? It's so long since I had you that I don't remember how it was. Good thing I can rely on you, Yuki-chan. My daughter, becoming a doctor! I must have raised you really well," her mother said, and looked proud of herself.

"Mom, do you want a packet of C*lorieM*te with your tea?" Miyuki asked.

"Oh yes! Cheese-flavored one, please," Yukari said.

Kagami had just come to the kitchen to get something to drink. "What, do you have cheese-flavored C*lorieM*ate?" she gasped. "C-can I have one! I MUST have some right now!" she stuttered, and wiped drool off the corner of her mouth.

"Of course, Kagami-san, here you are," Miyuki said, and handed a pack to her.

"Thank you, thank you!" Kagami said, and started ripping it open and stuffing her mouth. "Om nom nom! … so, so good! Can I have some tea as well? … And if you have any cookies or other sweet things …"

Yukari and Miyuki took a puzzled look at her, but then the water kettle started whistling.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Uhh … I don't feel so good … ate too much," Kagami muttered, and rubbed her stomach. There were several empty plates in front of her.

"Yeah, Kagamin. You've been a little pig lately. Stuffing your face all the time," Konata said. "And in some pretty strange combinations –"

Yukari placed her tea cup down onto the table and muttered, "Oh. Oops."

"What is it, mom?" Miyuki asked from the kitchen. She was washing the dishes with Tsukasa.

"Could I get a towel or something? My water just broke," her mother noted.

"Sure, I'll get you one," Konata said, got up, and stretched her arms.

"Oh," Miyuki said, and turned around again.

After a whole ten seconds, there was a crash as a plate slipped from Tsukasa's fingers.

"W-w-w-wa-wa-wa…" Tsukasa gasped.

"What's the matter?" Miyuki asked.

"Oh, Tsukasa-chan only realized that we don't have the time to go to the hospital … the babies are coming out right now," Yukari said, and turned the page of her magazine.

"Water broke!" Tsukasa concluded.

"Oh. That's right. I haven't had obstetrics yet," Miyuki said. "I guess we'll have to assist you, then. Tsukasa-san, I understood that you have had training at the maternity ward?"

"Um, yes, I have. I didn't really deliver any babies, though. But I assisted and watched a few being born. It was great!"

"Great? That was … great? So you didn't pass out?" Konata asked. "Like Kagamin did just now."

"No – what, did sis pass out?" Tsukasa peeked from the kitchen.

Indeed, Kagami had fallen backwards and was lying on the _tatami_, out cold. Konata brought a towel and a rag to her stepmother and a wet towel for Kagami, placing it onto her forehead. She knelt beside her pale wife and took her hand.

Kagami opened her eyes slightly. Konata whispered calming words to her and petted her head. She smiled weakly at her.

"Izumi-san, when you can spare some time, could you put a piece of string and a pair of scissors in boiling water for a few minutes?" Miyuki asked. "There's no hurry, though."

"Sure. What are those for?"

"We need to tie the umbilical cords before we cut them," Miyuki explained.

All the color drained from Kagami's face again, she let out a wail, and passed out the second time.

"I'd better find a bucket as well, just in case," Konata muttered.

Miyuki and Tsukasa brought a futon to the living room and covered it with towels, and helped Yukari to lie down on it.

Konata hurried downstairs again, carrying a bucket and more towels. "I told Minami and Yutaka what's going on. So … does it hurt?" Konata asked, looking at Yukari with curiosity.

"Yes, it does. Quite a bit, actually," Yukari noted, casually, as if there was nothing to it.

"You are amazing, Izumi-san," Tsukasa said, addressing Yukari with her new surname, "some mothers at the ward were screaming in pain at this point."

Somehow, Miyuki had produced a white coat and a stethoscope and was listening to Yukari's tummy. "Sounds okay. Tsukasa-san, could you check how dilated her cervix is?"

"Do you have a whatchamacallit?"

"No, we don't have a speculum. Did you scrub thoroughly?"

"Of course," Tsukasa said proudly, waving her fingers in the air. "They even had disinfectant."

"You have to use your fingers, I'm afraid," Miyuki said, and moved closer. "Put your two fingers around here, and spread her labia majora –" she started explaining.

At this point, Konata picked up Kagami's limp body, and carried her to another room. As she returned, she heard Miyuki complimenting her mother about her fabulous Ferguson reflex.

Tsukasa giggled. "I can barely understand half of what Yuki-chan says."

"Oh, I did skim through the obstetrics books…" Miyuki commented.

Konata came closer and looked interested as she saw a baby's head coming out.

"It hurts a bit," Yukari noted.

"Wow, Izumi-san," Tsukasa said, referring to Yukari, "you are really fast. The last one I was watching took, like, eight hours. I was falling asleep on my feet!"

The first baby plopped out. Miyuki caught it, and slapped it gently on the back. The baby let out a loud cry. "Everything's fine, and it's a girl. Izumi-san," – she was referring to Konata – "could you please hand me a clean towel?"

"Sure."

Miyuki gently wiped the baby and handed her to Yukari to hold, and then started to tie pieces of string to the umbilical cord.

"Looks like the other is going to follow real soon …" Tsukasa noted.

Indeed, they didn't have to wait very long before another baby came out. This one let out an even stronger scream than the first one.

"This one's a boy!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Congratulations!"

"Oh, that's nice!" Yukari said. "I hope there isn't any more coming out? It's really painful," she added, as if this had just been a walk in the park.

"Just the placentas."

"Too bad Kagami missed this. It was really interesting!" Konata exclaimed. "And I forgot to take pictures."

"Kona-chan, why don't you find the camera and take some now?"

"That's a good idea."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"You know, Kagamin …" Konata said, looking thoughtful as she looked at the pictures of her new stepchildren. "You've been eating like a pig, and you feel sick at the mornings…"

Kagami looked up from her newspaper.

"Yeah, I know, I know! I'll start a diet next day!"

"I've been thinking … aren't those symptoms of something?"

"Symptoms? I don't think I'm sick. I just have been these cravings for odd food and that's what makes my stomach upset –"

Kagami's jaw fell open. She had just remembered some TV dramas and other things where these kinds of "symptoms" had appeared.

"W-w-what?"

"Yeah, I know. It couldn't be that, could it?" Konata asked.

"Totally impossible!"

"Just in case …" Konata slammed a small box onto the table. "Here's a pregnancy test. Just in case."

"That's only a waste of money. There's no way in the world I could be pregnant!"

"So pee on that thing, or whatever it was you need to do, and we'll be sure."

Kagami frowned. "All right. If you insist."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

Kagami, looking very pale, had returned from the toilet in a state of stupor. She slumped down onto the floor.

"No, no …"

"What?" Konata said, her eyes widening. "Y-you can't mean …"

"_Yes. I am pregnant,"_ Kagami confirmed.

For a full minute, they just sat there, listening to the cicadas.

"This can't happen! I have never been with a – you know!" Kagami screamed.

"I know, I –"

Konata developed a weird, intensely thoughtful expression. Kagami fell silent as she looked at her. It was as if all the gears and cogwheels in Konata's head were ticking.

Softly, Konata said, "Hey! I remembered something! When we spent that night in Finland …"

This made everything come back to Kagami too.

"That girl … after we had had – uh, that – she said she was a witch and that she would help us!"

Suddenly they both remembered that night in Finland, months ago…

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

_Kagami leaned back, closed her eyes, and tried to catch her breath. Konata was still sitting in between her thighs, her hands gently resting on her knees. The Finnish girl, Henna, was lying behind and below her, holding her on her arms, with Kagami's head was comfortably cushioned against her bosom, which would have been comparable to Miyuki's. It was again Kagami's turn to be attended by the two other girls._

"_So, guys, I understood you would love to have a baby together?" Henna asked._

"_Well, yes," Kagami muttered, "but as you see, there's a little problem with our chromosomes."_

_Henna's hands brushed Kagami's neck, and then slid playfully down her shoulders and around to the front. "I'm sure you can do it. Hey, maybe I can help you! I'm a witch, you know."_

_Konata giggled. "But you don't have any warts and your nose isn't particularly hooked!"_

"_Ah, but I'm a modern witch. A wicca, or something like that," Henna explained, and reached for her handbag. "I think I have everything we need in here …"_

_Kagami and Konata looked at her, and chuckled. "Okay, wizard. Cast your spell!" Konata exclaimed. _

"_Okay. Boys are made of frogs and snails, and puppy-dogs' tails …" Henna chanted._

"_Yeah, we definitely don't want a boy!" Konata commented._

"… _girls are made of sugar and spice, and all that's nice!"_

_Henna had warmed a bar of chocolate in her hands, now she ripped it open and used it to draw a pentagram on Kagami's tummy. Kagami squirmed and giggled a bit._

"_This chocolate has sugar and spice, and it's nice – but you two are even nicer. A baby made of you two will be just adorable!" Henna sighed._

"_I'm not so sure about that," Kagami muttered, and petted Konata's head._

"_Okay, Konata, put your fingers down there … yes, you can use both hands …"_

_Kagami started to pant as Konata eagerly did as ordered._

"_Let's add this little packet of pepper I took from the café. We can't have her being only nice…there has to be some kick, some girl power!"_

_Henna ripped the package open with her teeth, and sprinkled the spice over Kagami's belly. Konata inhaled some of it and sneezed twice, inciting giggles from the other girls._

"_Kagami, _feel_ that egg cell in your Fallopian tube …" Henna gasped. She was obviously getting excited too. "…and Konata, imagine going inside…combining into that cell…you two, your own baby…you, Kagami, becoming a mother…"_

_Somehow, it felt extra arousing for them this time. As Kagami's back arched and her body tensed up, Henna muffled her screams with her mouth. Konata couldn't help a wail escaping from her lips, as she collapsed onto Kagami._

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Oh yeah. I remember it so clearly now. Why did I forget it? Why did both of us forget it!"

"Oh my … maybe she really was a witch. Or wicca, or whatever she said she was."

Konata giggled. "She made some kind of ritual on your tummy. My fingers were inside your –"

"But this is impossible!" Kagami yelled.

"She said we would have a baby together!"

"What, do you believe in witchcraft?"

"It's the only thing that could have made this possible. I am certain you haven't slept with a male –"

"Never! I would never do that!" Kagami shouted.

"I know, I know! I believe you!" Konata exclaimed. "It has to be magic. She really helped us."

Kagami pinched herself. "Ouch. I'm not dreaming. I really am pregnant."

"By magic," she added a moment later.

Konata was speechless. What could she comment on that? Something impossible had just happened. Impossible, yet wonderful.

"Uh … I just hope the child doesn't have blond hair and blue eyes …" Kagami muttered.

"… she didn't put anything inside you, I did," Konata finally said. "It is ours."

After a full five minutes of silence, Konata spoke again.

"Kagami … do you want to have a baby?"

"… our baby … yes! It's too soon, though. I haven't even finished my studies."

"I can work at home and take care of the baby. I don't really need to study. They might not give me a degree, big deal."

"Konata, you just sail through life with mere luck."

"No, it took years and years of hard work –"

"– of playing games, watching anime, and reading manga!" Kagami groaned.

"I always said those things are important!"

"… I guess … they are. After all," Kagami sighed.

"But the most important thing for me …" Konata looked up and into Kagami's eyes, and smiled.

"Konata …"

"I'd better sit on your lap now, when I still can. Before your tummy grows huge."

"Eww."

Konata climbed into Kagami's lap, wrapped her arms around her and rested her head on her shoulder.

"Wife … your labor will be easy if you spend all of it passed out."

"Doesn't work that way. I'm sure I'll be fully awake."

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Name, name …" Kagami muttered, rolled the pen in her hands, and stared at the paper, which already had dozens of names crossed out.

They had been sitting at the living room table for two evenings, trying to come up with a name. Since they had decided that the baby is indeed theirs, it would have to be a girl. Kagami had to explain Konata about genetics and chromosomes, which were among the subjects Konata had managed to mostly unlearn after high school.

"Hm, what if we combine our names? Kaga-mi and Kona-ta? Or Kona-ta and Kaga-mi –" at this point, Konata's eyes widened and she developed the biggest grin ever.

"What … what, no!" Kagami yelled.

"But of course! It's perfect!" Konata shouted. "It's more than perfect! It's … awesome!"

"No! Absolutely not! We can't name her that!" Kagami protested.

"What, Kagami, you are thinking the same? That just shows how … awesome that name is!"

"No!"

"Yes. Konami."

"… now I can't think of _anything_ else …" Kagami groaned.

"Konami," Konata confirmed.

* * *

And that's all, folks. Almost.

**Kagami & Konata: **living together in Konata's new mansion. As Konata predicted, they become huge celebrities, and are already filthy rich. Kagami wrote a book about them and it became a bestseller. It's going to be filmed. Konata never bothered to finish her studies. Kagami is taking a maternity leave, but she is studying and becoming a lawyer.

**Tsukasa, Ayano, and Misao:** living together in a small apartment and studying. They know it's not going to last forever, but for now they try to make the best of it. Misao feels like she's the third wheel and is occasionally breaking up with the other two – but she comes back every time as if nothing had happened.

**S****ōjirō and Yukari:** Busy with the twins. Yukari is now much more lenient with Sōjirō, having overcome her guilt for what happened in her former marriage.

**Miyuki:** Too busy with her studies and training and hasn't gotten a boyfriend yet.

**Inori:** Finished college, is working as a priestess and a secretary at the shrine network. She finally found someone – she's dating a young shintō priest. He was shocked when he found out about Inori's other siblings, but he's trying to cope.

**Matsuri:** Moved in with Kuroi-sensei. Matsuri has become a minor celebrity herself, thanks to her famous little sister, and she's appearing in game shows in TV. Struggling with her studies and drinking too much.

**Tadao and Miki:** Refused all publicity, living a quiet life, now that most of their daughters have flown the nest. As a gift for their 25th wedding anniversary, Kagami and Konata bought them a world tour.

**Kuroi-sensei:** Calmed down a lot, still teaching at Ryōō High, and she's the homeroom teacher for Yutaka's class. Visits Konata's mansion often; they are even better friends now. (No, not in _that_ way … so far … :)

**Yutaka and Minami: **Both are studying really hard, Yutaka is practically living at Iwasaki house. Minami is aiming for Todai. Out of solidarity, Yutaka is also applying, but there's little chance she'll succeed.

**Patricia and Hiyori: **Still studying and working part-time at Konata's business; Hiyori is also making storyboards for a big animation studio. Both are minor celebrities, especially among otaku. They hang out at Konata's mansion a lot.

**K****ō**** Yasaka: **Failed to get into college, studying for next year's exams. She's working part time at the cosplay café.

**Izumi Wakase****:** Class president of Yutaka's class, and still in the closet (as an otaku and otherwise).

**Akira Kogami: **After getting minor roles in various movies, she's now getting a lead – playing Kagami in the movie about Konata and Kagami. She was first offered the role of Konata, but she declined it. Still single, struggling to complete high school.

**Minoru Shiraishi:** Still the manager of Akira and a student at college. He dated Miyuki once, but her vastly superior intelligence was too much for him. Doesn't still know whether he hates or loves Akira.

**Hikaru Sakuraba and Fuyuki Amahara: **Amahara-sensei finally accepted Sakuraba-sensei's proposal. They consulted Kagami and Konata about how to proceed, and have booked flights to Finland already.

**Kanata Izumi:** Doesn't come to visit anymore, because she has been reborn as someone else.

**Yui Narumi: **Finally got pregnant. Her husband (Kiyotaka) is being transferred to Tokyo and will be able to see her every day.

**Hinata Miyakawa and Hikage Miyakawa: **their situation hasn't changed at all; Hinata is going to Junior High next year.

**Meito Anizawa:** Never managed to have Legendary Girl A buy anything from him. His business is not going too well.

* * *

C*lorie M*te is a brand of energy-supplement food produced in Japan. There are bar-shaped cookies, gelatins, and canned drinks. Sakuraba-sensei likes them. For some reason, Yukari developed a taste for them during her pregnancy … as did Kagami.

Oh, and that was the last chapter of this sequel! There might be a little epilogue and the "short author notes", we'll see.

Whether there will be more seasons … it depends. If they make a second season of the anime, definitely. (No, Lucky Racer doesn't count!) The manga is still going on and there are new characters to exploit use, but I'm waiting for the 7th and 8th volumes of the manga in English. (Yeah, I know those scanlations or whatever they were, but I want the real manga.)

Next, I'll try something else, maybe original stories, maybe not even on this site, but nevertheless I will try to participate in every Lucky Star challenge (see "Mostly Lucky Star Forum" for more information).


	25. Epilogue

**Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 25: Epilogue**

I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.

* * *

"Izumi!" Kuroi-sensei yelled.

The lilac twin-tails of said student swayed as she looked up at Kuroi-sensei, although the student's eyes were hidden behind VR goggles. "Yes, sensei?" she said, smiling that familiar little smile which made the mole on her cheek move ever so slightly.

"VR goggles are forbidden in class. Take them off," Kuroi-sensei stated.

"But Ma'am, I'm using these to follow the class!"

"What? How?"

"These project me the classroom, with cute holograms mapped over people. That way I have something interesting to watch and don't get bored. Or sleepy."

"Holograms…exactly what kind of holograms are those?" Kuroi-sensei's voice had raised a step.

"Eh? Oh! They are, uhh … nothing special!" the student said, and quickly turned the goggles off before sensei would get an idea to look through them herself.

"Izumi Konami! Day by day you are becoming more like your mother. Give me those goggles. We are related, but that doesn't give you any special privileges," Kuroi-sensei lectured her.

"Indeed. How is auntie Matsuri doing, by the way?"

"She's fine – as you can see, on holovision every night, live – hey, don't even try to change the subject! Goggles. Here. Now!"

Kuroi-sensei extended her hand, palm up.

"But Ma'am –"

"Don't call me Ma'am! It makes me feel old! Even 'Kuro-chan-sensei' was better!"

All the other students in Ryōō High, class 1-C of 2024, were now looking at them and listening – although they were getting used to the daily disputes of their homeroom teacher and the little otaku of the class.

Quickly, Kuroi-sensei snatched the goggles off of Konami's face. Thankfully Konami had not inherited her blue-haired mother's reflexes, and, even approaching her 50's, Kuroi-sensei was still fast like an attacking cobra.

As Kuroi-sensei looked into those mischievous blue eyes which had been exposed, she knew she couldn't be angry at Konami Izumi. Indeed, she reminded her of her two mothers: Konata, one of her dearest friends, and Kagami, sensei's sister-in-law.

So, instead of smacking Konami onto her head, she just ruffled her hair. "You can get these back after classes today."

"Okay …" Konami muttered, pouting her mouth.

* * *

Note: Kuroi-sensei calls her Izumi; I'm not sure what her real surname is.

I don't think the extended author notes are interesting enough to be included here. There's nothing special about them. So, I'll just mark this story "complete". Finally.

Now, I can start thinking of my next "big story"…


End file.
